A Changing Room Somewhere Near You

A Changing Room Somewhere Near You by Brian53

You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.

Heads were in hands as the players were too embarrassed to look anyone else in the eye. An unidentified player pipes up “did you see the bastards? All over me like a bloody rash. I got closed down by one guy and while I was looking for someone to pass it to up pops another one, I turned only to find a third who took the ball off me. Where the hell were the rest of you?”

Silence.

After a respectful minutes silence another unidentified player pipes up “Did yae see how fit they wur? I wiz sure they hid at least 15 oan the park, pass and move, pass and move, wit wur we suppose tae dae” “whose bloody idea wiz it tae play way wingers anywye, efter them last two results then we go back tae nae midfield, bloody stupid if yae ask me” Silence.

The door bursts open and an unidentified player enters the room. “yon basturds hinging uz oot tae dry oot there, sayin Virg, Ant & Mick wir the only decent wans oot there! Diznae say much fir you Efe” Silence.

The door burst open again, this time the manager appears with two unidentified followers, one a blonde, the other in dungarees. “Wit the hell wiz that” he said “ I telt yae’s tae pass and move, no bloody tae staun there watching them play and wit the hell wir yae’s dain passing tae them? Wiz it no hard enough” Silence.

“Anyway I hung yae’s oot tae dry, so yez better git yer act together if yae want tae stey. Just remember, there’s plenty o duds wir you came fae” Silence.

The manager and the two unidentified followers leave the room. Several unidentified players look at each other and shrug, one obviously the ring leader say’s “Wit did he want, bloody miracles, how kin he expect us tae play in that crap league then cum oot here. Wir back four an midfield never git pressure like that so how er we tae cope wae it when we play at this level” Silence.

No one else speaks as the team shower, change and leave.

An hour later two Spanish cleaner enter the dressing room. There is something hanging on a peg. The first cleaner goes over to it and say’s in Spanish “Wit the fuck’s the glove fir”