Celtic Diary Friday August 23

What we all need is a wee bit of news to cheer us up. something from the club to put a spring back in our steps, because just now even the antics of the tax dodgers on the other side of the city isn’t giving as much mirth as it should.

Quite rightly, because first and foremost, we support our own team.

So, a desperate search across cyberspace for something to start the weekend with, and there is a bit of news, if not entirely what we are looking for.

Dylan McGeouch has been told he can go on loan, and Cameron Stewart, a winger at Hull, who has spent most of his career on loan,  has been identified as a target for Celtic.

Well, thats my pulse racing.

Then there was this, doing the rounds last night;

Well, thats just what we need, another midfielder to pass the ball sidieways.

On the radar again is Mikael Ciani, from Lazio, and theres another mention for Innocent Emeghara. Pablo Pietta is a new entry, but that was in the Express, so its obviously a non starter. shame, because the Argentinian playmaker would have been exactly what we need.

Hang on, Argentinian, medicals, where have we heard that before ? Oh, on here. So thats shite as well.

There are two wee bits that could give us if not a big smile, but at least a smile.

Schalke are looking to take Lucas Podolski on loan, which will free up Teemu Pukki, ho would, in fact , be eligible to play in the Champions League for Celtic, despite playing for Schalke this week.

The diary was corrected in a comment yesterday, and you’ll notice how I said “the diary was corrected ” and not “I was corrected “.

Anyway, of all the nonsense on the web, there was something that cheered me up. Something I think we all had forgotten about. Its from a regular on the Huddleboard called Andypingu;

” Will be 2 am their own time, I genuinely think with that in mind plus the travelling, if we get a good crowd they could crumble. 4 am at near enough full time they will be feeling it, it’s vital we get a full crowd to make as much noise as possible to add to our cause ”

That fact alone, regardless of if they take a sleep in the afternoon, or whenever else, will have an effect.

I’ve gone to the trouble of finding them a nice hotel by the beach to relax in

All of a sudden I think we will make it to the champions league, and we can worry about who we get there when we get there.

Theres always good news out there. You just have to look for it.

PaddyMccourt, who would have been useful in Khazakstan, has finally found himself a club. He’s joined Barnsley, and as anyone who has been there will know, the ladies in that town make those on Geordie Shore look quite shy and retiring.

Still, as long as it doesn’t affect his dribbling.

The Green Brigade will be back in 111 for the Karagandy game, statements from the club and the supporters group are expected later today.

It looks like the big knobs have got round the table and yanked the iron out the fire, to quote from Blackadder, and as long as everyone behaves, a crisis has been averted.

The Green Brigade are down to just 6/1 to score the first goal on Wednesday.

Speaking of betting, Ally Mccoist, manager of Second Rangers down in the third tier, has decided that he will stick up for his player Ian Black, who has been charged with betting on the football. Despite the rules being fairly clear on the subject, i.e. its not allowed in any shape or form, McCoist has not only called for a clarification meeting , he says he has a list of 100 players, given to him by his players, of others who are just as guilty.

Of course, he should be told to hand it over, and the SFA can then investigate, but knowing the level of intelligence at Ibrox, they are probably all his own players, past and present.

As usual, there are claims of victimisation, and of the Unseen Fenian Hand being out to get them, but it looks like whats left of their sensible support is beginning to turn.

One of their websites had this, from one  fellow , explaining the facts to a poster  who wanted the person at Ladbrokes, who discovered the bets, fired for breach of  customer confidentiality, especially as he was probably a ” taig ”

” F*ck me, what part of what has happened with Black has escaped some people?

Ian Black has had a betting account with Ladbrokes for years. During those years he has bet on a number of matches, including games for the team he was currently playing with, and in one instance in a game he was actually playing in at the time.

For one Rangers game, he even bet on us to draw as part of an accumulator. He played in this game. He even scored.

However, none of this was noticed by anyone as it was small bets, around £5 a stake and on low odds, so any payouts were insignificant and were not flagged up. Just like hundreds of other professional football players in Scotland.

With me so far?

Now, where Ian Black differed from the rest was he then put on a 3 figure sum on another Rangers game, and chose “an obscure market” to place the bet (please do not ask for details of the bet as this will impact on the source of the information) which then came in. Due to the size of the wager, and the return of the bet, the bet was automatically flagged up by the system and was investigated by head office, as all bets of this size are.

Now, the person whose job it is to investigate these bets discovered the person that made these bets was a professional footballer, and had bet on – both for and against – teams he had played for and in games he had played. This person has no interest in Scottish Football, and is only interested in doing his job, part of which is to report any such betting practises immediately to the SFA.

This was done, and we now find ourselves in the situation we are in.

So, to sum it up for the hard of reading – There is no conspiracy. There is no agenda. There was no breach of the Data Protection act. There is no cabal in Ladbrokes who have it in for us. We just have an incredibly thick footballer on our books that thought he could place a large bet at high odds on a game he was playing in despite it being against the rules and not get caught.

He did. It is his fault, and only his fault. ”

That didn’t placate the hordes, some were still asking why Black ?

He then  started to lose patience;

Because he is the only player stupid enough to put a big f*cking bet on a game he was playing in at stupid f*cking odds using his own f*cking account.

So, to answer your question – because Ian Black is thick.

Because he is the only player stupid enough to put a big f*cking bet on a game he was playing in at stupid f*cking odds using his own f*cking account.

Why him? Because he’s an idiot
Why now? Because he put on a big bet that came in
Why nobody else? Because they are not stupid enough to put large bets on games they are playing in using their own account which is easily traced.

I’m gonna have to draw a f*cking diagram at this rate……. ”

That guy has a level of common sense that if it had been harnessed could have saved his club. Thankfully no-one noticed.

Well, it made me laugh. Praise to him though, for at least trying to put them right.

Celtic need a convincing win with a splendid performance into the bargain against Inverness tomorrow. The Diary will appear a bit earlier, depending on what time I get up, as I want an early start and a wee trip round the hostelries of the Gallowgate.

By the way, if anyone from the midlands or north west needs a lift, give us a shout.

It was Darius I of Persia, the onanistic lad from American Pie, and a man ski-ing which gave us Polish forward Dariusz Dzeikanowski.

A little easier today,