Celtic Diary Tuesday December 18: Flu, Frost and Father Christmas

Frankly, I could do without all three.

One of my esteemed Lennon CSC colleagues, whilst travelling to the game on Thursday, had with him millions of little microbes which he unselfishly shared with me, and as a result I think I’m dying.

I’ve decided now to stay in the house until January when its time to go back to work.

Well, mostly one particular room in the house.

After all, there’s not much to come out for, is there ?

Celtic appear to have embarked on their winter break a little ahead of schedule, the inspid performance against Salzburg followed by a no show in Edinburgh tells me that they think they only have to show up now and again to lift the three trophies they should win, yet the back door qualification to a tie against Valencia-I might book that trip this week- conversely tells me that our name may indeed be on that cup.

Four out of four ?

Can you overdose on Lemsip and fishermans friends ?

During the game on Thursday, one felt that it was little more than a training exercise. To liven things up, Celtic decided to play as though they’d just met each other on the way to the ground, and that little extra fire was missing.

Mikael Lustig left the fray after twenty minutes, and the team lost direction. Scott Brown came on for the second half, and although there was more direction, it was more pedestrian.

Salzburg couldn;t believe their luck, which was compounded when Craig Gordon flung one into the net via an Austrian forward who thought christmas had come early.

I left after the second goal, somewhat frustrated and said so on twitter, with my usual Brendan Out rant, which got me the usual level of abuse.

Yet, as i walked along London Road peope were singing and dancing, and the man who looks after the players cars told me it was because the huns had got beat.

How low have we sunk, i wondered, until i realised Rosenberg had scored, meaning that liepzig were out and Celtic were through.

I forced myself into a bar for a pint and a dance or two.

Strange evening indeed.

 

The campaign had petered out with easily the worst performance of the season, yet we were through.

I comforted myself with the thought that had the results been the same all through the group stage, but the Liepzig game had been last, that 2-1 win and performance would have had us walking on air.

On to Edinburgh, and I confess to not watching all of it, only the second half. I’d been in bed since Friday teatime, and to be honest, even in my reduced state i thought i’d have put more effort in than the players.

We got what we deserved. Next up are dundee, and we need to shake this malaise very quickly, and above all we need to get off the players backs, as it is affecting them.

At the start of the month, we’d have taken a cup win over Aberdeen and Europe after christmas. We got them, it doesn’t matter how, and yet every player is more or less being told that he should be replaced in January.

The dilemma is this. Do we build for the next qualifiers or do we try to win four out of four this season, or do we go for both ?

Both.

When fully fit, we have a great side.

We could certainly use a couple of strikers, and maybe cover for the full backs, but thats about it.

We won’t win anything by dragging a black cloud over a team who are clearly showing signs of fatigue.

What we need to do is circle the wagins and win the rest of our games before the break.

Do that, and our problems may not seem so big.

Right, I’m going back to bed. Where I intend to stay until I’ve fully earned my new name of Rip Van Malph.

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Salad Queen

Need 3 tickets for away v Valencia or 1 or 2 may help?

D'Fhinnein Mick

SALAD QUEEN

You need five,doll. I need a couple anaw!!!

I don’t think this is quite a Seville thang,but I reckon Valencia might be in for a busy few days. I hope you get your tickets,btw.

HH

Iancelt67

Lemon garlic ginger cayenne pepper throw in a pot with water. Boil the fuck out of it drink with mania honey. Oh and four heavy duty codeine pills

Iancelt67

Manuka honey

Iancelt67

Well just honey good stuff though

iancelt67

think botox is actually botulism injected into the head a friend of my sister gets it she just sits there with her face all tight fucking weird

iancelt67

mourinho sacked

Christina

I liked mania honey better πŸ™‚ – just the right thing for “man flu” πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
Ralph gonna fling me oot ha ha sorry Ralph get well soon πŸ™‚

D'Fhinnein Mick

RALPH

No matter how desperate you are,NEVER suck on a Fisherman’s Friend. Phone The Samaritans or summat.

D'Fhinnein Mick

RALPH

Get Well Soon,old son. Valencia trip?

https://sentinelcelts.com/2018/12/18/y-viva-espana/

Mike

“I forced myself into the bar” fuckin peach. πŸ˜‰

Scottishleaf

Next up are Motherwell!

Mike

Clear the decks of Lawwell’s folly,
Tra-la-la- La-la-la-la.
Buy new players, spend some lolly,
Tra-la-la La-la-la-la,
“Brendan” that shape, you were off your trolly,
Tra-la-la La-la-la-la.
I’m gritting my teeth, trying to stay jolly,
Tra-la-la La-la-la-la…..

Monti

Are they your teeth or do you put them in a jar?

Mike

No, That’s for whisky. πŸ˜‰

Christina

Brilliant – you do have a real talent for these witty rhymes Mike!

Mike

Thank you dear lady, still awaiting your next foray into the mad World of E-Tims. Take a deep, deep breath and…. go girl. πŸ˜‰

Puggy67

Mania honey! Thought you’d find all camp there lancelt

Puggy67

Get well soon Ralph everyone has it except me which is down to a daily dose of fermented red grapes,it’s psycho er homeopathic.

Monti

Ralph,
It’s only a cold for fuck sake, get tae your work ya lazy bastard!

Christina

πŸ™‚

Monti

Ralph,
Phone a couple of hookers round & they will sweat it out of you, could be a bit costly but i don’t know what the going rate is in Stoke.
Either that or take a trip to Holland, not that i know prices there either….cough cough. πŸ™‚

Tulips from Amsterdam πŸ™‚

Monti

You might get pensioners rates….talking of OAP’S, Morning Henkesdreadlocks:)

bgbhoy

he wont be online today monti, he has his Tuesday afternoon swimming class for over 55’s

Monti

Can just see him in his leopard skin speedos….extra small budgie smugglers.

henkesdreadlocks

Couple of roasters.

Monti

Woooooooooooooo πŸ™‚

Mike

P.S. its the Motherwell that we play next, no bonny Dundee.

Heard it on the grapevine that Monti’s joined weight watchers, well he’s trying to, even they have there weight limits, to get weighed he uses the Edinburgh weigh-bridge. πŸ˜‰

Monti

πŸ˜‰

Paddybhoy67

Thank god it’s only the flu … I thought ye’d chucked it.

Monti

Paddybhoy,
We are trying our best πŸ™‚

R.St.Parsley

Fairytale of Ibrox The New Year’s Eve game down at Hunland And an oul’ Hun said to me: ‘Won’t see another one’ And then he sang a song That ‘fucked a pope’ or two I turned my face away To keep from laughing. God, we’re the lucky ones! Imagine being Huns! I’ve got a feeling this year their team is through So here’s to Sevco and liquidation I can see a better time when all our dreams come true. They’ve got bills piled in hills They’ve got roofs full of holes Their manager’s shite And their players are old ‘When… Read more »

Mike

Magic. πŸ˜‰

Monti

Charlie Saiz,
Do you want to go first today? πŸ˜‰

RPG… YOUR USUAL STYLISH PROSE..
EXCELLENT

C S… YEP… I WAS AS GOOD AS THAT IN MY DAY cough

Brian (not the messiah)

1st Class
The writer of that song……was it
Shame inGovan and the fuck the popes?

Christina

Arsene you star – that’s a bloody cracker! Did you post this over “at home” too? Hope all well with you sir! πŸ™‚

R.St.Parsley

This is all old stuff from Pat’s site, Christina – don’t have any original thoughts these days! Arsene

BJF

FFS Ralph I have seen people with a combination of Ebola and Bubonic plague have more get up and go!The performance against Hibs was very disappointing but I suppose is it any wonder after 34 games. I frankly didn’t understand the shape, Izzy is a good cover for KT at fullback, Lustig gets a lot of criticism but he brings balance to the back 4, Ajer is a smashing young player with a great future but he is not a 90 minute full back.. We have had some poor results after mid week games especially Europe, Hibs, Killie,Hearts but good… Read more »

rab wallace

thank fuck the diaries back its the only thing on the net worth reading

Monti

Rab,
What about online Commando books?

Rebus67

Monti,

Is that possible? Sign me up!

Rebus

Monti

Celtic v Motherwell

Gordon

Lustig
Simunovic
Benkovic
Tierney

Brown
Ntcham

Forrest
McGregor
Johnston

Edouard

Monti

Brendan said we may need two strikers in January, if that’s the case they must be proven strikers with a good record of attendance at work ( unlike Ralph ), one of these strikers at least must have the ability to make the ball stick.

Over to you Lawwell.

Uralius

I agree CS Ntcham is lacking confidence and his touch has suffered. We need a proper replacement for Rogic, as many of our other midfielders work on being more defensive they have lost a bit of a spark going forward. Only Christie, Rogic, Tierney and Forrest seem to have that twinkle in thier eye when they get the ball, they seem to be the only ones in the attacking third day to wreak havoc.

Mike

Well Boyata has convinced me with his performances that he is good enough to stay and play for Celtic. I am encouraged that Brendan has brought young Henderson into the first team fold, like many I was sad to see his older brother leaving the club, after all the recent midfield back up is doing not a lot to impress me. Time to give one or two of the youngsters a chance, like Mikey Johnstone and perhaps bed young Henderson in. Ryan took his chance and we witnessed not just his talent but his youthful energy, that is what we… Read more »

Monti

Mike,
Away & bile yer fucking heed….Boyata is shite!

Mike

πŸ˜‰

Doc

The difference in Ntcham is down to his teammates, at the start of the season he had players in front of him working hard to get on the ball. Now he has teammates whose body language says ‘don’t give me the ball’, Sinclair is a possession sieve, Rogic looks lost and Edouard’s effort has went off a cliff since he’s our only striker and guaranteed to play no matter how bad he does. That just leaves Forrest and the marking, and fouls, on him are getting far more serious. Brown is the best player in the country, by far. The… Read more »

Doc

It’s clearly not Ntcham, to me anyway. Rogic and Forrest were developing an understanding which was paying dividends, but recently, it’s went off the boil. Forrest still looks good but it looks like the 90 min Rogic is away and the 60 min man is back. Sinclair started well and looked to be recapturing his first season form but has now petered out, he still has moments of glory but they are just moments and miles away from the constant threat he is capable of being. I’ve went on about Edouard above. The Ntcham – McGregor connection isn’t there as… Read more »

iancelt67

thats rodgers gone to man u read all about it mourinho sacked

Doc

Don’t want folk to lose their jobs, bit I despise that man. Cheating scumbag.

Monti

No he isn’t….come on.

Drew

Back door ?????

Monti

Drew,
If you buy a drink first…..

flinker

Aussie coach said big Tom has a knee problem and doubtfull, Monday last week.

Tam the tim

There’s an old Chinese proverb, Ralph. He who leaves a game early shall suffer for it. That’s how you and the other early leavers have now been stricken with some kind of illness. Tell you what, though. It doesn’t do much for the players confidence when they see the stands emptying like someone’s got the plague. Seen it so many times, the Tic coming back from the dead to turn it around. It’s a very enjoyable experience. More people showed stay and support the team.

Monti

Would that be the ” auxilliary striker ” you were mooting?

@fud.

Monti

Gibberish

Monti

Go on…….

Brian (not the messiah)

Well ralph your mates theory that we play better when you are not watching was rubbished on sunday
With that first half…..we were mince……get well soon…hot whiskey lemon, honey and ginger..get to bed and sweat it out!!!!
Great news on christie…ayer is a good centre half but not a right back…

maryhillbhoy

Good to see you back Ralph take care and get yourself healthy again.

Mike

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are still riding towards the end game of sporting integrity. Persistence beats Resistance.

Negative news, Broony’s getting old, Ntcham’s form has dipped. Craig Gordon still trots like a manacled horse.
Positive news, Wee Jamesey’s form has never been better, Cal-Mac’s found his rightful position, Ryan Christie is the newer better, faster version of Stuart (the quiff) Armstrong. Rogic is the Australian version of King Canute, Boyata has improved beyond our widest dreams, Benkovic has found his true club, K.T. is the son of God.

Rebus67

Mike,

Thanks the spirit! I took your dreams and put them with my own.

Hopefully, this gets posted.

Rebus

Mike

Rebus, Persistence meets and beats Resistance.

Monti

Mike,
It’s said you like an intake of meat πŸ™‚

Mike

I will Resist replying to your ribaldry. πŸ˜‰ Mair fool me!

Monti

Pish

Monti

Charlie Saiz,
Your lack of understanding the game has reared it’s head from the nosebag again.
Scott Brown if fit would not be out my strongest eleven, the team has been good without him but don’t devalue our captain.
You have a go at Brendan for not rotating but in the same breath want to play the same three in midfield all the time?

In the words of Walter Sobchak -” What the fuck are you talking about “?

Monti

Ralph,
Was the pub you forced into at a Golf club?

Cough.

Monti

Ding dong Merrily on high, here comes the transfer windae,
Lawwell said he done his best, but Mcginn said naw he didnae,
Tra la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

πŸ™‚

Mike

HAHAHA Belter. πŸ˜‰ @ Div.

Monti

πŸ™‚

Monti

Ralph,
If you are bed ridden, on Netflix watch the new Coen brothers film ‘ The ballad of Buster Scruggs ‘ it’ll cheer you up m8.
Alternatively if you want to pish yourself laughing at clear idiocy….just read anything by Charlie Saiz.

Honest hoops

Ralph…what is this “happy holidays” picture??…Merry Christmas is the traditional message of goodwill and health to all..I will excuse you on this occasion due to the fact that you are unwell…

Whoriskey

At the Hibs game we had three defenders out, two midfielders out and one of our strikers out which means more than half of our team. The boys that came in couldn’t immediately slot in and play like our first eleven, possibly due to lack of first team game time, so should they be pilloried? Well no, given how much time it took our first eleven to slot in and play like our first eleven since the start of the season. As for Europe, I never thought we would have qualified out of that group and since we did we… Read more »

BJF

Hibs game was very disappointing,they looked like a team 34 games into their season without a proper break.Prior tot eh Salzburg game I made a case for Scott Brown to play with Tom Rogic coming off the bench. We ended up being swept away by a fitter, more athletic side albeit one that made the semi finals last year, only beaten in extra time or on penalties I think.But for 3 Gordon saves we would have been done and dusted at half time. Brown came on and steadies the ship but why did we make Salzburg look like PSG or… Read more »

Good point Whoriskey. For the upcoming Dundee home game we really don’t need a hard man holding defensive midfielder like Brown or Mulumbu. BR stumbled upon Calmac as his holding midfielder and we played our best stuff with Calmac there and Ryan and Tam just ahead. So play Calmac with Rogic and give young Euan Henderson a run out. Also young Aitchison just got a man o the match for the reserves. What’s the use of having reserves if we don’t use them. Give the youngsters a chance. Look at how good Mikey Johnston is. Those crosses he put across… Read more »

Just read Rogic is out with a knee problem against Motherwell (not Dundee as Dundee game is on Saturday). So Olly gets a reprieve onto Tams’ spot. Nir Bitton played in the reserve game against Hibs so he is on the comeback trail.

Are you crook this Christmas?

Prescription:
Bottle of single malt Whiskey.
Dosage:
Down it in one.

Cures all that ails.

Hot-water bottle Rulz OK.

charlie
henkesdreadlocks

I’m now quite happy that I didn’t manage to meet up with you on Thursday Ralph due to your present illness, sounds nasty. I did get into the pub you were in and by the means of a miracle, I actually got a pint. But floating room only in there, fuck knows what would happen if there was a fire in that place.

Mike

In a bar in downtown Brigton, across from the bus depot,
Sitting on a bar stool, he took out his purse,
He said “hello big bhoy, how are they hinging,
I shouted “Nurse Nurse,
My ears are ringing.

Would you like to hear some Bob Marley?
I said “hey mahn, you sound like auld Charlie,
The sheep stealer,
The brigton wheeler Dealer.

“Would you like to buy a carpet”? Magic.

stessano

Do enjoy your diary, well usually and podcast but reading this now its coming over your a glory hunting partimer!! turn up for the big games eh ralph!Then leave ealy!! thats a hanging offence for ANY REAL TIM! I know you live down south but you come over as “playig at this” I LIVED IN SYDNEY FOR 7 YEARS AND GOT UP AT 4 AM FOR MIDWEEK GAMES JOGGED 2 MILES IN MY WORK GEAR TO GET 5AM TRAIN INTO THE CITY TO CHEERS BAR ON GEORGE STREET WITH OTHER REAL TIMS!! WAY OUTNUMBERED EVERY OTHER CLUB FOR REAL FANS!!… Read more »

Iancelt67

That cunt who runs cheers is a miserable bastard too many lens outside wanting to fight as well

Iancelt67

Lebs

Iancelt67

Runs cheers is a miserable bastard. Almost an oxymoron

stessano

FEW TYPOS BUT YOU GET IT EH HAIL HAIL

stessano

OH IN RALPH ITS MOTHERWELL THEN DUNEE! DO AT LEAST GET THAT RIGHT VERY VERY POOR AND PRETTY TELLING THIS TODAY

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