Drop the Dead Donkey

In a galaxy not so far far away…

A man walks into Tattersals Horse Sales and approaches a salesman.

“I’m looking for a thoroughbred, optimum age, 2-4 years and a proven record over quality track and distance.”

“Arent we all Sir” says the smiling Salesman. “Well we have lots of thoroughbreds on offer this weekend, what sort of level are you talking here?”

The man pauses, thinks and says “Well I will be mostly running it in local handicaps but I dream of winning a Group race here and there and to be honest, I aspire to win a Group 1!”

“Wow” says the salesman suddenly thinking of his commission. “May I enquire, what sort of budget are you talking?”

“100 thousand guineas perhaps, could maybe even stretch to 200?”

“I beg your pardon? stammers the salesman. “You expect a quality thoroughbred which can perform to optimum levels and meet any professional pressured demands against highly priced and developed peers for pin money?”

“Well, could I maybe borrow one then?” utters the man.

“Sir, Im sorry but your wasting my time, and may I say your own in this current pursuit. You either have to invest a large amount to acquire true quality or you need to lower your performance expectations and work within realistic frameworks”

“But Im good with yearlings!, and I’ve won a few local point to points too, I can win the big races, Im sure I can!” says the man.

“Yearlings are fine up against other yearlings sir or down in the lower grades but you have to remember their range is always limited” said the Salesman. “A good yearling can give you thrills over one season over certain distances but if you dare try running it against truly proven hardened quality over and over again in the really big races then it will simply crash and burn. Yearlings are a long term project, you need time, technique, facilities and of course patience and understanding, always knowing where and when you should be running them!” said the salesman.

“Really?..I just run mine everywhere, what’s the problem” asked the man?

“Im sure that it can feel great parading them in the big ring but if you put too much demand on them too soon you will only set them back both physically and mentally . They need gradual exposure for progression. They need guided with encouragement not exposed to constant ridicule. Its slow and steady not sink or swim. ” suggested the salesman

“Yeah yeah okay!” sighed the man. who then pleaded “What about some old thoroughbreds that have been there, done that. Are there any of them going for sale?”.

“There’s always a few old crocks kicking about to be picked up. They have the pedigree sure and the ribbons and might well seem decent value but you have to remember the very high maintenance costs, the concentration lapses and then they have already plateaued so you then have the constant decline and ultimately you will be writing off any investment. ” suggested the saleman.

“But I thought an Oldie or two could help with schooling my yearlings” said the man.

“Of course they can assist here and there but that sort of thing is usually best just left to your trainers in truth. You do have a team of good experienced high level trainers I assume?” asked the salesman.

“Well” sighed the man.

“Tell you what” said the salesman scanning a nearby brochure, “There is a selling plate race race tomorrow up at Perth, perhaps you could pick up a few cheap deals there..no real class but hey, you never know eh..you might just get lucky!”

“Yeah, maybe I might” said the man, who turned up his collar to the approaching cold wind and slowly turned to head towards the exit.


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Kevan Kearney

This defence, is bereft of life…

D'Fhinnein Mick


I know where I lay the blame for last night. And while there’s a few people sharing it,there’s one who gets a bigger slice of that pie than anyone else.

The guy who made sure that the pie was rotten anyway,wi poor quality ingredients.


I am wondering about the moral of your story, are you suggesting we spend 20 or 30 times our potential prize money for winning our domestic league in the hope of making a dent in Europe or are you suggesting that we realise our place in the pecking order of finance driven European competition and to appreciate our lot? I’m just old enough to remember Lisbon and appreciate that the “system ” was much fairer then, the gulf between leagues wasn’t quite so marked and players could be got of a decent standard for an appropriate risk/reward strategy. Today however… Read more »


Where did you get the pic of Charlie Saiz?


I’ve been telling everyone for long enough that the Goalkeeper and defence is inadequate, even a supposed ‘ full strength ‘ defence is nowhere near good enough.
There is only one defender i’d keep, Kieran Tierney.
Gordon, De Vries, Lustig, Simunovic, Sviatchenko, Boyata & Ajer.

All out!

Bain must be played in goal until Gordon returns…then leaves obviously.
Bitton, Kouassi, Allan, Ciftci – out!

Like Ajer i fail to see what anyone sees in Kouassi, i see little to convince me he will be a long term mainstay.


We are the one-eyed man playing football in the land of the blind. As soon as we set foot out of Scotland we’re fucked.
We are all aware of our players limitations and financial limitations but perhaps a manager who could drive players to excel themselves might help.
Anyone for Lenny?


Are you allowed out between 7 & 7?


I am Monti, but only at weekends. Thanks for the concern.




desi ask the salesman if hees got an tips for the weekends racing please ……….and dont accept dont bet


Charlie all this talk of Horses, Donkeys and other things equine reminds me of a great movie and a song from a later era…

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They…

Just to make it absolutely clear to everyone. I am NOT suggesting that anyone is harmed…

There are veterinarian peoples who are legally sanctioned for such equine requirements


No i’m not going to say it, my bad.


Monti.. Go om


Charlie…reply fell at the starting gates


Charlie… Cheers for that, I wasn’t sure who sang the song… I know that Michael Sarazzin was the lead male in the movie… I think 🙂


We’re merely running our bull..Etims, through the Cappuccino machine of innovation, see if it comes oot frothy.

Morning campers, Climbing the north face of news making again are we,
triffic. Drop the deed donkey.

Good analogy. Horses for courses?


Ralph…could you kindly pass on my email address to Mike (the fermer)

A horse doesn’t know its worth. The agent of any half decent player almost certainly over values his worth . Lets go buy a Brazilian international central defender. Get real .


Been there done it, he was Shite (or summit like that).


I was told in my teenage years that i had a cock that would choke a horse…..:)


Its True it was Rocking Mahn.


Monti.. How many horses died


Scheidt idea


The good news is that it get’s easier next season with an extra two qualifiers to get through to the group stage. Have the scouts identified a new goalkeeper, right back and two central defenders? We must build from the back, from the goalkeeper out. This developing Ajer to a defender from a midfielder is fantasy, in my opinion, let’s say that Brendan wants to persevere with Ajer at the back, would it not be better for the likes of Ajer & Hendry learning from more established & experienced defenders? You could bring Ajer or Hendry on if the team… Read more »

Wisnae me

You’ll never win anything with kids.

Rob O'Keeffe

C’mon Bhoys,stop this negative nonsense.Another Treble coming up,WorldClass manager,very happy players playing brilliantly week in week out.Hotels,museums,superstores,lovely dividends,millions in the bank,no title challenge.Dembele worth £40m…….This post is severely sponsored by Prosac and Guinness…..




The good racehorses have gone to pastures new, settling into there new sumptuous pastures, with new straw bedding, oceans of water and heated stables, with an inside heated pool. The farrier provides 24 hour cover and the vet is on speed dial. In a stable built for Arabian thoroughbreds with Arab Princes money somewhere near Paris, there favourite stallion is called Neymar, who prances about like he is the Prince, despised by everyone, nobody likes him, he don’t care. But when called upon to race, his sure footedness leaves the other stallions standing, fast of foot, watch him go, leaning… Read more »


On the bright side, a new phrase muscles its way (unlike the Celtic team last night) into everlasting fame:

Sorry, Miss, no homework today. The knuckle ball fooled me.

No, boss, it’s not ready yet. The knuckle ball fooled me.



What about Troy


Deeney talk shite….

It was a very decent 1979 Derby winner but if you mean the wooden horse..that campaign took 10 long years mind

Desi, We had 11 wooden horses and couldn’t even make a dent in the wall. Looks like our campaign will take for ever. Chin up. Aberdeen may be as cold as St. Petersburg but it is a bit nearer so our lads shouldn’t need to have a KitKat break every ten minutes. I thought you could choose your own Lenten penance 🙂 Looks like our lot have given up football. It’s been a long Lent, mind you. Started for way back in July 17 with the odd day off to play proper football. I just hope they don’t think it… Read more »


Achilles and Paris… We will remember them 🙂

Achilles = Paris and Barcelona!!!!!! 🙂



A horse meets a donkey at the dancing. They hit it off and go home to the horses house. The walls are covered in pictures of the horse with captions underneath. The 1000 Guineas, The Derby, The Oaks etc etc.The donkey is hugely impressed by the horses winning pedigree. Anyway they have a good night and the horse suggests that next week they meet at donkey’s house. He agrees but all week is worried How does he impress the horse, a thoroghbred racehorse with multiple titles ? He goes to the zoo and takes a picture of a zebra, gets… Read more »


We need to get behind Brendan and the team, it’s that fucking simple! I remember in the early 90’s when we were shite i defended our club at every turn, no fucking hun would talk Celtic down in front of me or the shit would hit the fan. I actually felt closer to Celtic when we were shite, now we are winning everything in sight and we are all moaning like fuck, me included…it’s mad. Our club needs us, our manager needs us and we need each other, unified, proud, loud and right behind our team! Fuck the Huns &… Read more »


Monti… That’s the spirit… as long as the Celtic give it a go and the experienced players show the younger ones how to have the balls to play to their potential… Win lose or draw its better than a display of headless chickens…

Rob O'Keeffe

Weered,some wins please? We’ve had enough draws now,thank you kind sir……

Rob O'Keeffe

Monti,erudition personified.That’s the type of team talk BR should be dishing out to the players(with interpreters for the hard of understanding)….We believe in One Holy Catholic Church…..no hotels…..


And there it is in a nutshell. Gaun yersel Monti. That’s my take on it as well. All these wankers and their grandiose sense of entitlement shite gets right on my thruppenys.


Evening Weered,
You are well comrade?


Monti.. Yep all is well. Watching some shite TV


Jeremy Kyle?


What a load of bollocks.
The great Lester rode donkeys first past the winning post.I know ,my money was on them.


Enough of the Donkey Craic….




Red Rum, a Horse made with a heart of Gold, sure there’s a song in there somewhere, over the rainbow.


How do you feel about our support trying to make out a field of donkeys are actually thoroughbred horses? As for the jockey, well…..? Time for a bit of whipping – now, now, mike 🙂

h h

Using Ralph’s designated symbols for fake, lower-case 🙂


He’s a faker right enough, a whip is no use whatsoever without the cream and sprinkles of chocolate, its where you put it that makes the difference. Well done auld bhoy. 😉


Admiration for Ralph calling as it is without trying to be the sycophant. With the constraints Rodgers work with financially he’s done ok and he’s managed to build up cult status with his reserved personality and local success, we humiliate sevco, win every trophy, what more can a manager do? Here lies the conundrum . Wgs and Lennon had better European success and it can be argued that they did it with a stronger rangers as competition thus having a competitive minded cohort at their disposal seasoned for a fight. However, Europe is a different animal, different style of football,… Read more »

Iljas Baker

The second goal against Aberdeen yesterday was a masterful piece of counterattacking and Celtic should have used that as a strategy in Europe. His players aren’t capable (some too young and inexperienced and some too old and slow) for full flowing attacking play against European opposition. And I think that will always be the case. You have to change strategy to suit the circumstances. Counterattacking when it suits, attacking when it suits – not the same strategy whatever the circumstances. Aberdeen again showed Jozo and Lustig need to be replaced, they cant even perform at the required level in the… Read more »


Financially he’s set us up and turned it around I will never forget what Rodgers has done don’t get me wrong here. With the deila comparison I mean it in football terms. Rodgers has wisdom, he’s more than a football man. He will make clubs like celtic and Swansea money and get the best out of players he is an excellent man manager. But don’t you get the feeling it’s not going to get any better and his work could be completed by someone else ? He’s set a platform for a different kind of manager to get us to… Read more »

Rob O'Keeffe

Ian,who would “complete ” his work? Worn out? He’s only in his mid 40s and cruised it last year.If money is available,we need to buy seasoned pros to stabilise and help with the progression of the younger Bhoys……


Has there ever been in the history of football that a club that competed with another financially doped club and as a consequence racked up about £40 mill. pounds of debt. Then brought in another manager to cut the wage bill to shreds and got rid of all its hugely paid players. Turned the club around, was successful in its own country and then raised the bar of financial gain until it had a £97 mill. turnover and now has cash in the bank to the tune of £31 mill. pounds. This is a great feat for most businesses, but… Read more »


FFS even Xavi is saying it now, a player who loves our club, this £1. mill. pound signings, its hopeless, it may be alright for the SPFL but the team will NEVER progress in Europe without 2/3 QUALITY signings, we have the money, its in the accounts, get it spent on the players we NEED.
The hotel and museum should be a stand alone project, it was costed at £18 mill. spend £20 mill. on the players we need, let the supporters see the team that they should have.


Mike… I a great believer in young people. It’s time to let more of them into the top tier.
It is obvious to all that there are serious doubts in the ability and focus of some of the more experienced first team…

Rob O'Keeffe

Weered,unfortunately,in Scottish football,our youngsters would get kicked all over the park aided by bent officials…..


Rob… Thanks for the egg sucking lesson…
It’s not appreciated. I did not come down in the last shower of rain…


Argument here is that Rodgers would do better with more money mike? Would he ? Do you think he’d get us into the last sixteen in the champions league with extra cash? Or do you think he’s reached his level? He had an open cheque book with Liverpool basically and funnily enough zenit got his measure

Rob O'Keeffe

Ian,with more money,his team would definitely be more than 6 points ahead of so called,a club/company that,on the pitch,should be nowhere near us.The biscuit tin mentality has returned and bitten us on the bahookie……


Ian, Brendan did not get the signings that he wanted at Liverpool, he made requests to the Liverpool signings committee and they had the last word, more often than not his requests were ignored, or refused.
Look at Liverpool this season under Klopp he is benefitting now from some Rodgers signings, but the stand out player Salah is playing out of his skin, HE is the main reason that the Pool might move up the table.


Ok. I know fuck mike., watching Kevin bridges atm cracking me up he reminds me not to get neurotic about the goings on at Celtic. Just trying to be a smartarse. Sure it’s all going to be ok rather get put out by Russians I like Russians. They’re not your smartarse Germans or french fuckers caught up in their superiority, patronising English or whatever. Can’t take it all too seriously like you I love celtic just want a bit too much.


Ian, We both want the very best for Celtic, for me its the board that are being the smart arses, the supporters are paying BIG money to watch games and we have amassed £31 fucking million pounds and Rodgers is buying £300, 000 players from the championship, or £1.00 mill. on old players not even eligible for the Europa league. Something’s not right when that shite is being dropped on the support. £40.00 mill. debt sanctioned by D.D. and the support were left to pick up the bill, then watched austerity hitting the club, if he sanctioned it, he should… Read more »


Tierny, YYYEEESSS thank feck 2-0. Lustig GTF.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/