{"id":9898,"date":"2016-09-20T12:32:53","date_gmt":"2016-09-20T11:32:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=9898"},"modified":"2016-09-20T12:57:59","modified_gmt":"2016-09-20T11:57:59","slug":"helen-flanagan-etims-agony-aunt-200916","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=9898","title":{"rendered":"Helen Flanagan: Etims Agony Aunt 20\/09\/16"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Helen<\/strong>
\nAs a person who has worked all over the globe from the Cobbles of Corrie to Cairns, I was hoping you can help me.<\/p>\n

I fear I have made a terrible mistake.
\nI was in a very successful position, in fact\u00a0I was the Number 1 guy in my previous place in Nottingham but then an old sweet talking Boss contacted me and persuaded me to come North and rejoin him and his team. Ive just arrived in the new place and its been total manic. I was expecting to get time to bed-in but its been non stop and\u00a0 I havent had the chance to catch my breath let alone catch anything else.<\/p>\n

Now everyone is on my back and the future is looking bleak.<\/p>\n

Is there anything you can recommend to help me settle in and get everyone behind me?
\n– Dorus, Parkhead<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi Dorus<\/strong>
\nIm sorry to hear you arent getting time to settle, but as Albert Tatlock used to say at the Weatherfield Pettitcoats and Whippets Fair “Nae hair like grey hair!” which was an analogy about the importance of experience or something according to my Aunt\u00a0Emily Bishop.<\/p>\n

You just\u00a0need to shake off the abuse and get stuck in. Dont be shy. Its like the time I was in the Jungle and I was getting dogs abuse for refusing to do those horrible challenges and being told I wasn’t good enough to be there. Well eventually I had to man up and just take control and grab the bull by the horns, testicles, anus and whatever other parts they served to me\u00a0out there. In the end, I got cracking publicity, a calendar deal and\u00a0everyone loved me,\u00a0I think, and I’m sure they will love you too if you can start grabbing at every opportunity too!<\/p>\n

Love Ya – Helz<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Helen<\/strong>
\nEverything has went wrong and I dont know what to do.
\nI arrived in a new place of work recently and I will admit, my CV may have been slightly embellished by a few PR mates of mine.\u00a0 Everyone, including myself, \u00a0thought I was going to be some sort of superstar but in reality, its been a disaster.<\/p>\n

I have been in a few fights with younger colleagues and now Ive been suspended and told not to come back. I fear the company are trying to weasel out of paying me and now the PR guys seem to have turned against me and thats what really hurts the most.<\/p>\n

I have 3 weeks to save my bacon, any advise is welcome.
\n– Joey, AWOL<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi Joey<\/strong>
\nThat is a real shame. It reminds me of Limahl when we went into the Jungle. He kept going on and on about his “Never ending story” and what do you know, he was out first! And trust me,\u00a0I saw him washing himself in that shallow jungle\u00a0pool and a certain something else certainly was not never ending, if you know what\u00a0I mean, Darling.<\/p>\n

The talent thing isn’t worth worrying about. You either have it or you don’t and if you don’t, don’t worry about it. Time catches\u00a0up with us all.\u00a0\u00a0I remember when they brought younger models into\u00a0Newton & Ridley\u00a0to do the Pale Ale Shots Promotions. I protested of course but deep down they knew and I knew that I couldn’t roller skate to the level needed\u00a0any more! After that I was soon gone, out a side door and never to be seen again.<\/p>\n

The PR world is fickle as you are finding out and once your card is marked its a slippy slope to get back in favour with the headline makers and career shakers. All\u00a0I can suggest is the Jungle is coming up just after Xmas…are you likely to be available during a January window perhaps?<\/p>\n

Love Ya – Helz<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Helen<\/strong>
\nAfter a varied career path I recently I got promoted above my station. The change has really surprised me and I fear I am now being found out for the limited individual that I am. For a while people were willing to accept my nice smile and cute Southern charm but now as results are being questioned, \u00a0I continously lose my temper and have had multiple fights and even ended up walking out of recent get-togethers. I fear that everyone is talking about me. \u00a0I’mreally under pressure and I dont know how to handle it.<\/p>\n

I fear the sack.\u00a0 please help asap!
\n-Mark, Ibrox<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi Mark<\/strong>
\nIts always hard to accept when you have found your level. I remember saying the same thing to Tracy Barlow when she auditioned for a model job alongside me at the Weatherfield Gazette but only got offered a job at Bettabuys handing out chopped up hot-dogs with some cheap sauce on them to the passing punters. No shame in that of course but she was never gonna reach the same heady Promotional heights as myself.<\/p>\n

We all find our level in the end.<\/p>\n

Sometimes a reality check is a good thing. Not as good as a redundancy cheque mind you so best to make sure that contract is water tight and your money is safe if they try and get rid of you. Your wages are safe arent they?, Your company dont have any money worries do they? Im sure they dont. Best of luck, wherever you end up<\/p>\n

Love Ya – Helz<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Helen<\/strong><\/p>\n

Im currently involved with Dave in a long distance love affair and in truth we have become rather estranged. He still gets me all excited whenever he flies in first class, all expenses paid, but the visits are becoming few and far between. I fear hes not a man who is good in a crisis.
\nRecently, an old flame, Brian, reappeared on my horizon, okay i may have instigated it!,\u00a0 and I would be lying if i didnt picture us\u00a0 back together, my hair blowing freely in the air as he raised me up in his helicopter of riches.
\nOh whats a boy with this lovely hair to do?
\n-Paul M, Ibrox<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi Paul<\/strong>
\nTalk about hair raising drama…this is more exciting than Deirdre Barlow kicking about in the back of a clapped out old Scimitar with Mike Baldwin behind boring Ken Barlows back. I dont know what\u00a0I can tell you bar beware that Copter Hair. \u00a0I remember my gorgeous mane was all over the shop after they dropped me into the Jungle from a great height. Do you know anything about falling from a great height Paul?<\/p>\n

If you do you will know its not something you want to repeat so keep that in mind when you decide who should win your devotion!
\nLove Ya – Helz<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

Dear Helen<\/strong>
\nI may be one of your oldest readers ( hello Mike and Pensionerbhoy!)\u00a0and I\u00a0hope you can give me some advice on how to get into the minds of the youngsters out there.<\/p>\n

I recently entered near retirement and decided I would start a campaign For Decency. You should have heard me pontificate on how I was sick of the lowering of social standards out there in MY CITY and\u00a0loudly calling for everyone to stand up and be decent human beings. It was unreal, it really was, loads of people said so!<\/p>\n

The only problem is that in the past I have been involved with quite a few dodgy types and people just wont take me seriously. I was mixed up in a world of lies and deceit and\u00a0if\u00a0I am\u00a0truly honest, I may have been prone to gossip, negligence, hype, exaggeration, looking the other way\u00a0and stretching the truth somewhat myself over a downward spiralling career that started out when Artur Jorge was still in short trousers.<\/p>\n

Nowadays, I wear the blinkered spectacles of age as\u00a0while I hope people see me as an Elder Statesman, it seems people seem to treat me as some figure of ridicule and they all imagine I’m just an old curmedgeon who forgets his contribution in lowering the standards in the first place.<\/p>\n

Can\u00a0I restore credibility, any suggestions?
\nHugh K, Clydebank<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Hi Hugh<\/strong>
\nWell it looks like you are suffering from a case of ‘What goes around, comes around!’, and I don’t mean like the after-affects of 2 day old Bettys Hot-Pot in The Rovers return.<\/p>\n

Sadly its near impossible to get the public back onside after they see the true you and view you only as a figure of ridicule. Trust me, i know!<\/p>\n

You have 2 choices:
\n1:<\/em> Get your friends in the PR trade to help you…I dont suppose you have some old bosses who maybe run PR company at all
\nor
\n2:<\/em> You can embrace it and be the blundering buffoon but still earning a decent wage, you know, like someone like Wagner on X factor..could you grow a daft moustache and speak in a strange manner at all?<\/p>\n

Best of luck with the Campaign, looks like\u00a0you will need it!<\/p>\n

P.S\u00a0 – What’s an Artur Jorge?<\/em>
\nLove Ya – Helz<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Dear Helen<\/strong>
\nThe last few months have been crazy. Ive came up to a new place and\u00a0I just can stop scoring. Its been like 5 in a row now.<\/p>\n

It\u00a0seems everytime im out with the lads, Im in there! Back of the net and its High-5s all round!
\nOh I dont need advice,\u00a0I just love telling everyone!
\nScotty, Parkhead<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hi Scott<\/strong>
\nGet home now or my lawyer will be in touch.
\nLove Ya – Helz<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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