{"id":9418,"date":"2016-07-22T08:54:54","date_gmt":"2016-07-22T07:54:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=9418"},"modified":"2016-07-22T08:54:54","modified_gmt":"2016-07-22T07:54:54","slug":"another-wee-story-by-tom-campbell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=9418","title":{"rendered":"Another Wee Story: By Tom Campbell"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tom sends us another gem from his wealth of anecdotes, about a time inhabited by characters of the like not seen today, but still fondly remembered.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Close your eyes, you’re on the bus, and the auld fella is telling a story while the druver tries to find a cd that works…\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was back in Glasgow on holiday from Canada, and enjoying it.\u00a0 The weather was perfect for once and Celtic, drawn in the same League Cup section as Rangers, were making progress.\u00a0 Years before, I would have been petrified at meeting Rangers twice at the start of the season but with Jock Stein as Celtic\u2019s manager (and a Celtic side brimming with confidence) there was little to worry about.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Two weeks ago Celtic had gone to Ibrox and won by 2-0 with Willie Wallace scoring the goals.\u00a0 Not only that but it was Rangers who looked nervous and on edge as if the occasion was just too much for them.\u00a0 Both Celtic goals came after laughable mistakes by Rangers\u2019 defenders, most notably by John Greig.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And now the \u2018return match\u2019 was at Celtic Park, and I was looking forward to it \u2026 but one little thing was preying on my mind.\u00a0 I had arranged to see the match with my cousin, Tommy, and he wanted to meet me at the Quo Vadis on Paisley Road West.\u00a0 Fair enough, but at eleven o\u2019clock in the morning and for a three o\u2019clock kick-off!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It promised to be a long day\u2026 too long for me<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was time to employ some strategy and I called upon my limited background as a Latin student under Mr MacDonald, always and affectionately known as \u2018Tosh\u2019.\u00a0 Mr MacDonald taught at St Gerard\u2019s and was the most patient teacher alive; his hero, I think, was Quintus Fabius Maximus, the Roman general who had eventually defeated Hannibal, elephants and all.\u00a0 This general specialized in delaying tactics (Fabian, in other words) and by avoiding too many direct confrontations with the enemy in the end defeated him.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0So, I footered around the house till well past eleven o\u2019clock, and walked to the pub rather than take the bus; I arrived at about noon; the place was crowded by then, but I managed to find my cousin \u2013 along with some of his pals.\u00a0 I gathered, as I had suspected, that he had started his day without me.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I joined the party and quickly had a pint in my hand, and that was where it was intended to stay.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t come all the way back from Canada to see\u00a0 Celtic beat Rangers twice inside two weeks and find that I was seeing things through a glass darkly.\u00a0 No, I wanted to savour the occasion \u2026 and celebrate later.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My cousin, though, had other ideas.\u00a0 He explained that two of his brothers-in-law would be joining us, and that they would be driving to the game \u2026 \u201cSo, we all have time for a few more pints.\u201d\u00a0 The brothers, both in their late 20s arrived, had a quick pint, looked around the Quo Vadis and pronounced it \u2018a morgue\u2019.\u00a0 If it was a morgue, there were quite a few hyper-active zombies throwing themselves around!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And they were the drivers.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Off we went, in their station wagon and in the general direction of Govan (where we had by the way \u2018to pick up Michael\u2019.\u00a0 The thought crossed my mind that literally we might have to pick up this Michael.\u00a0 The two pubs in Govan we visited before finding Michael were noisy and cheerful, packed with Celtic supporters and the beer flowed.\u00a0 I managed another pint, saving myself undue attention by buying a round in my turn.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gloomily, I made the effort to count \u2018the dead soldiers\u2019:\u00a0 Tommy had probably had about six pints by then, the brothers-in-law (both of whom looked and sounded like Sean Fallon) had had four that I saw \u2026 but how many before that, and which one was driving?\u00a0 Michael, exhausted and dehydrated by waiting so long, was close to incoherent\u2026 I, unfortunately, was close to perfectly sober.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The long day had started\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Pints drunk, songs sung, toilets visited, and station-wagon found roughly where it had been parked \u2026 and eventually we were off again.\u00a0 No great problem driving through the semi-deserted streets of Govan towards Paisley Road Toll, unless you count the skirmish with the Rangers Supporters\u2019 Bus at a set of traffic lights.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This bus had been right behind us for several hundred yards, and the din and singing from it was deafening \u2013 well, annoying at any rate.\u00a0 It probably was just too much to expect our car-load of Tims to quietly ignore the enemy, even a bus-ful.\u00a0 We stopped at a traffic light and waited for the light to change; two policemen were in the vicinity; the bus was behind us; \u2018The Sash\u2019 reverberated \u2026 the light changed, but our station-wagon did not move forward as expected.\u00a0 Engine trouble? Stalled?\u00a0 Not bloody likely!\u00a0 The seconds passed, the bus inched forward behind us, Tommy in the back of the wagon started to wave his green-and-white scarf, the bus driver became more and more agitated, his passengers stopped their singing and started to hurl abuse at us, the policemen \u2013 somewhat reluctantly, I thought \u2013 started to stroll towards the lights.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Eventually, the lights started to change to red \u2026 and our vehicle shot forward; the bus behind us was too late and, aware of the policemen, remained there, having to wait for the next light.\u00a0 Joy in the station-wagon, a minor triumph, a good start to the day\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Past Paisley Road Toll, and heading towards Glasgow Green and Bridgeton Cross,\u00a0 We commented on the queues at the bus-stops, having noticed the Corporation busses driving past, full to the gunnels with dozens standing.\u00a0 We came to a railway bridge, dark under its sooty roof.\u00a0 The driver had a generous thought:\u00a0 \u201cDo we have room for any merr?\u00a0 Can we squeeze them in?\u201d\u00a0 He braked some yards past a bus\u2013stop, leaned on his horn, and opened the doors.\u00a0 A minute later with four more passengers added, we were off \u2013 with no more stops planned \u2013 in the direction of Celtic Park and emerging from the gloom of the railway bridge.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Introductions were being made in the back of the station-wagon; three more Celtic supporters who had been standing at the bus-stop for almost an hour \u2026 and they were grateful.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Things were a bit different in the front, and I had a perfect view.\u00a0 Between the two Sean Fallon look-alikes sat a small man, a bit bigger than a jockey, dressed reasonably neatly in a brown suit, and a matching bunnet \u2026 a man about 40, happy to be given a lift … until he had a closer look at his two companions in the front seat.\u00a0 He glanced to his left and saw Patrick in profile, a man with a map-of-Ireland face, \u00a0and an Irish tricolour badge in his lapel; he took another look to his right, and saw the same face, but with a Sacred Heart badge in his lapel \u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A shade too late, he tried to cover up his red-white-and-blue scarf under his jacket.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure I heard him moan or groan.\u00a0 We had only gone about four hundred yards from the bridge.\u00a0 Adam\u2019s apple prominent, he managed to utter a few words: \u201cIf it\u2019s O.K. , I can get out here, an\u2019 walk the rest.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The driver growled in reply: \u201cYou won\u2019t be walkin\u2019 anywhere.\u201d\u00a0 His brother (Seamus) nodded in agreement.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Another groan, just audible, from the wee man, now recognized by all of us as a Rangers\u2019 supporter, a Hun.\u00a0 He mopped his brow, raised his hand to his mouth, put his hand inside, took out his false teeth, and slipped them into his pocket \u2013 all of which was noted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Patrick, ever the gentleman, started the conversation:\u00a0 \u201cDid you see the first match at Ibrox?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAye.\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYur defence was awful shaky.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAye.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Seamus took up the challenge of conversation: \u201cWe let you back in the gemme the second hauf.\u00a0 You could have got something out of the match.\u00a0 We were a wee bit jammy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A longish pause, and the answer came back in a rush:\u00a0 \u201cNaw, naw.\u00a0 You were all over us; you should have won by mair than two.\u00a0 Definitely. You outplayed us.”<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A thoughtful silence descended in the front seat, as the brothers digested this diplomatic exchange; the five of us in the back brooded on it \u2026 the silence continued right up the London Road, until we reached Boden Street and somehow found a place to park.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tommy was busy in the back of the wagon:\u00a0 \u201cSomething for the driver, boys.\u00a0 How about 50p each?\u201d\u00a0 and with a nod in the direction of the toothless one, \u201cAnd maybe a pound from you?\u201d\u00a0 Agreement all round was swift, but there was one more question to be asked:\u00a0 \u201cEfter the gemme, Jimmy, dae you want a lift back?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The offer was declined but with thanks, and the brothers, watching \u2018Jimmy\u2019 scuttle away and joining the hordes on London Road, pondered the situation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Patrick broke the silence:\u00a0 \u201cFunny wee man!\u00a0 Why the hell did he take his teeth out?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tom sends us another gem from his wealth of anecdotes, about a time inhabited by characters of the like not seen today, but still fondly…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":9419,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/etims.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/storytelling-quote.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2J7If-2rU","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9418"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9418"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9418\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9420,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9418\/revisions\/9420"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9418"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9418"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9418"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}