{"id":9048,"date":"2016-04-28T14:00:23","date_gmt":"2016-04-28T13:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=9048"},"modified":"2016-04-29T08:27:42","modified_gmt":"2016-04-29T07:27:42","slug":"an-alternate-reality-or-wtf","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=9048","title":{"rendered":"An Alternate Reality or WTF"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Brian 53 provides some welcome light relief with this wee story, which he says is fiction, but I’m not so sure….<\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n
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\u00a0 Tim woke with an aching head to the bright lights of a strange room. \u2018WTF\u2019 he thought as he sat up in the bed.\u00a0 It took him a few minutes to clear his head; the last thing he remembered was going up the alley for a piss.\u00a0 \u2018WTF\u2019 he thought again as he tried to stand up.\u00a0 Struggling over to the on-suite and promptly threw up in the bath, \u2018wtf was I eating last night\u2019 he said to the empty room, as the large pieces of half-digested food floated in his gastric juices.\u00a0 He looked around and noticed the separate shower cubicle with some relief.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 Twenty minutes later he was clean and refreshed and left the apartment as quietly as he could, from memory he just knew that if there was a female involved she would be an arm ripper and he couldn\u2019t face that again after the last time.\u00a0 He looked at his watch but it had stopped at 1:30am which was about 15 minutes after he had left the bar.\u00a0 What a night it had been, what a celebration, 5 in a row.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 He walked down the street passed the news stand and stopped in his tracks, \u2018WTF\u2019 he thought?\u00a0 He slowly made his way back to the stand.\u00a0 The headline screamed at him \u201cAberdeen Win SPL,\u201d he pick up the paper \u201cYou gonna buy buddy\u201d he looked at the old man and ran as fast as he could down the street to the sound of cursing.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 He collapsed against the wall and unfolded the Evening Citizen. He read the headline again, it had been on all the papers on the stall, he stared dumbfounded then read the article. \u201cCeltic fall at the last hurdle, losing the league on the last day of the season with another defeat under the Scottish manager of the year, Ronny Deila.\u00a0 Deila who had not won a game since signing his new 5 year contract was not available for comment.\u201d Tim slid down the wall and thought \u2018WTF\u2019.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 The kind old lady helped him up and took him over to the nearby bench were they both sat.<\/div>\n
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\u201cAre you alright son ?\u201d she asked \u00a0\u201cYou look awful peely wally.\u201d<\/div>\n
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Tim liked the old lady and told her of his nightmare.<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u201cSo you\u2019re a football fan young man, I take you\u2019re a Celtic supporter to be so upset\u201d<\/div>\n
Tim nodded,<\/div>\n
\u201cWell not to worry, at least you won\u2019t have those horrible people from Govan.\u201c<\/div>\n
What do you mean? ” \u00a0Tim wondered,<\/div>\n
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\u00a0\u201cWell you don\u2019t seem to know much about football young man, them\u2019s\u00a0 went to the wall for a second time mid-season owing\u00a0 several million pounds to the\u00a0 taxman once again.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s better, it\u2019s nice to see a smile.\u201d<\/div>\n
Tim gave her a big hug as the tears ran down his face.<\/div>\n
\u201cHow on earth could this be happening ? \u201d he asked, still a little shocked<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 The old lady smiled \u201cTake me for a coffee and I will explain it all to you, young man.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 The waitress brought coffee and cake, going back to sit on her stool.<\/div>\n
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\u201cWell son where to start, there are 4 different dimensions or realities that existed in the time, space continuum.\u00a0 Privilege, Indifference, Sad and Happy, we call it PISH for short.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u2018Right enough\u2019 Tim thought, \u2018pish.\u2019<\/div>\n
The old lady noticed the look on Tim\u2019s face so stopped for a minute.\u00a0 The boy had to know the truth about the worlds they lived in or he would never be able to return to his own.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 The old lady continued: \u201cThis dimension that you have fallen into is of course Sad, as an example let\u2019s look at your football team in Happy. Celtic will have not only won the league but will be Champions of Europe as they have been for the last several years.\u00a0 MON is the manager and some nice spoken lad called Monti is his assistant and publicity manager.\u00a0 No one bothers with football in Indifference with Celtic and Thems both struggling to survive.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 Tim looked up \u2018What ? You mean that I come from privilege?\u2019<\/div>\n
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\u201cYes, young man, you do.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 They sat in silence for a while and the old lady continued. \u00a0\u201cWe gatekeepers call it by it\u2019s nickname \u2018entitled\u2019 because everyone there thinks they are.\u00a0 Take your team again for an example, the C.E.O thought he was entitled to get his big fat bonus every year regardless of what he did.\u00a0 The manager thought he was entitled to stick with tactics that should have worked; he also thought he was entitled to pick players regardless of skill or form.\u00a0 The players thought they were entitled to down tools and purposely play badly to get their own back. \u201c<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 Tim just stared at her but the more she talked the more he realised that was indeed the dimension that he was from.<\/div>\n
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\u201cThe supporters were the worst; they still used hail, hail as a greeting but had long since forgotten the song and its meaning.\u00a0 They thought they were entitled to win every game and win it well, conjuring up the saying \u2018The Celtic way\u2019 to describe a mythical way of playing\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 Tim put up his hand and she stopped speaking, again they sat in silence for several minutes. \u2018Will I ever be able to get back to my dimension\u2019 he said.<\/div>\n
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\u00a0 The old lady looked deep into his eyes, \u201cyou are special Tim as all Tim\u2019s are, I can put you back into any dimension you wish.\u201d\u00a0 Tim looked up and thought \u2018WTF\u2019 \u201cI\u2019ll have Happy if you don\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/div>\n
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Brian53<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Brian 53 provides some welcome light relief with this wee story, which he says is fiction, but I’m not so sure…. \u00a0 Tim woke with…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":9049,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/etims.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/alternate+reality+doors.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2J7If-2lW","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9048"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9048"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9048\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9053,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9048\/revisions\/9053"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9049"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9048"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9048"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9048"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}