{"id":8892,"date":"2016-04-07T08:09:57","date_gmt":"2016-04-07T07:09:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=8892"},"modified":"2016-04-07T08:15:18","modified_gmt":"2016-04-07T07:15:18","slug":"thoughts-from-a-lennoxtown-sofa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=8892","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts From A Lennoxtown Sofa"},"content":{"rendered":"

El Cormaco observes some interesting goings on at the training complex…so he says..<\/em><\/p>\n

Usually I will give some thoughts about Football and Celtic I have had as I sit on my sofa watching and thinking too much about football for someone my age.<\/p>\n

This time, in a world exclusive, I\u2019ve got actual transcript of a conversation that took place today at Celtic\u2019s training base and wanted to share it with you.<\/p>\n

Scene: Managers office at Lennoxtown.<\/p>\n

John Collins is doing stomach crunches on the floor, listening to a show reel of his appearances on Sky Sports on his expensive headphones. \u00a0 John Kennedy is at a seat re arranging the pages in his clip board and drawing wee o\u2019s and x\u2019s on a piece of paper with a football pitch printed on it. \u00a0 Ronnie Delia is at his desk watching You Tube clips of Stefan Johansen from 2013-15.<\/p>\n

A knock on the door and Scott Brown appears:<\/p>\n

SB: Ah, eh, boss, eh hello, I ken, just wanted to say that the boys is eh a bit worried and that ken, that other teams have figured out how we play and that and eh are thinking we might need a plan b and that ken eh<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Collins stops mid crunch, and flings off his headphones<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: What are you doing in here?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB; I eh, was ken, just ..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: Are you a manager? Did you see the sign on the door that says manager\u2019s office?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB: aye I did, I mean no, I m not \u2026I eh, I ken, eh, nothing, sorry to bother you and that I can see youse are busy\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: Good, get out, no hold on, come here, feel my stomach (lifts up training top) feel that. Hard as rock eh? Bet you don\u2019t have body like that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB: no I \u2026eh\u2026. sorry again, I ll let youse get back to it \u00a0 Brown starts to close the door.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: no wait, Broony, come in, we should talk about this. Sit down<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Brown nervously enters the room and sits on the seat in front of the desk. Collins glares at him while John happily continues marking out where defenders are supposed to be on his pages<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: You think we are predicatable?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB: Well, its just, ken, its eh, we are ken, um, teams likesay know how we are going to play every time and eh, can ken, plan on how to stop us<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: Well maybe if youse were all in as good a shape as me you ..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ronnie holds up his hand,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: No John, thank you, Brroony \u2013 Broony am I saying that right, it doesn\u2019t\u00a0 sound right? Broony?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JK looks up<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JK: Aye, its Broony, you\u2019re right boss.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He then resumes his work ticking pages<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: Thanks John, great input. Broony. Broony is our captain, we should hear what he has to say. We are predictable you think?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC glares, JK stops his ticking<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB; Well, no its not\u2026.well yeah, I mean ken\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: But its not true Scott. Its hard for us. Last night Dundee had a man near Roberts every time he got the ball, and Stefan \u2013 Ronnie stops to stare at the\u00a0 poster of Stefan Johansen on his wall for a moment \u2013 Stefan tried everything but Dundee would not give him enough room to play his best game. How can I ..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB: But, that\u2019s kinda what I \u2026.of course Dundee are gonna..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: I mean we tell you to go out and play well and win the game, what more can we do?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: Aye you wee jobbie, coming in here greeting, what do you want us to do about it?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Collins goes to square up to Brown pulling up his training top again as he approaches<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: John its okay. \u00a0Nice six pack by the way<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: Its 8 ya tube<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: Sorry John yes 8 pack. Any way Broony yes, its so hard. Teams will not allow us to go and win the game so it\u2019s really unfair<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB: Maybe ken I dunno, try a different formation or system or something, me and some of the boys..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: Which boys? Kennedy write these names down<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ronnie stops them again.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: No John its okay, and John (to Kennedy) you don\u2019t need to write names down, do we have any pages there with any other formations?<\/p>\n

John Kennedy nervously looks through his notes while Collins does floor squats in front of Brown<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JK: (flicking through his pages) 4231, 4231, 4231 42 \u2013 ah ha this one,\u00a0 442, no no sorry, just a bit of ketchup on the page<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC & RD together; Ketchup!!!???<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JK: Aye, I was marking some x\u2019s on my page and<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: Okay it doesn\u2019t matter John. Now Broony, you see there are no other formations. It\u2019s the only way to play. 4231, fast dynamic football, high tempo pressing and both full backs<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ronnies eyes begin to mist up as he stares into the middle distance considering the beauty of the creation in his mind<\/p>\n

SB: Sorry to interrupt you boss\u2026eh that\u2019s all sounds great and that ken, and you\u2019ve told us it before ken, but well, some folk are saying its no happening and we are eh ken, slow and eh predicatable<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: Who is saying this? John start writing down these names<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kennedy picks up his pen as Collins resumes lifting up his top again<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB: No, eh no one, nah its nothing ken.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: Okay, good, and what about Stefan? Are people criticising Stefan? I heard some people said he has been poor this year? Have you heard any one saying this?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC makes a gesture of throat being slit towards Brown<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SB: Stefan?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He looks nervously at Collins<\/p>\n

SB: naw boss, not at all, everyone says, eh everyone thinks ken he\u2019s pure brilliant ken<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: Good. Great. Okay Broony, thanks for coming in, good talk, and remember, my door is always open<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Brown stand up and walks to and out the door, Collins glaring as he leaves<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

JC: Cheek a that eh boss, coming in here, saying that about how we are predicatable<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

RD: Its important John we have open relations with the players. Broo \u2013neh Broon \u2013 eh. Still doesn\u2019t sound right.<\/p>\n

Now for Saturday, I\u2019m thinking 4231, with Stefan in goal, Stefan at right back, at left back Stefan\u2026..<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Collins resumes his stomach crunches and Kennedy gets a clean page for his o\u2019s and x\u2019s<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Fade to black \u2026.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

El Cormaco observes some interesting goings on at the training complex…so he says.. Usually I will give some thoughts about Football and Celtic I have…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":8893,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/etims.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/four.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2J7If-2jq","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8892"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8892"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8897,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8892\/revisions\/8897"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8893"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}