No wonder today is thought to be the most depressing day of the year.<\/em><\/p>\n Blue Monday, as it has been dubbed has become a recognised day, by some, when more people are down in the dumps than any other day. It is thought to be a combination of worries which leaves people in a slump on the third Monday of January.<\/em><\/p>\n According to Cliff Arnall, who first came up with the formula to work out which is the most depressing day of the year, the odds are stacked against us today.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Well, obviously no-one told him we’d signed a new centre half.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n So we’ll rename it Green Monday.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Celtic secured the services of Danish defender Erik Sviatchenko for four and a half years over the weekend, meaning that we now have four central defenders, and hopefully have at last replaced that dutch bloke and the other one who were here last year.<\/p>\n At a cost of around \u00a32m , and judgung from the you tube videos his agent has put out in cyberspace, we look to have done good business, and with Simunovic, Ambrose and Boyata look to have a group of players , who if can be taught to play together, should leave the side well covered at the back.<\/p>\n What may also happen is that Dedryck boyata , when he returns from injury, will realise that he has to perform at a higher level, which he is capable of, to get his place back in the team, whereas Efe ambrose, who has been outstanding of late, couldn’t give a fuck.<\/p>\n With three centre halves now recruited in the last six months, many might feel that a taxi has been ordered for the big Nigerian, and it was, but he’s told the driver he doesn’t need him.<\/p>\n As we predicted on Etims, the new policy is to grab a bag of scrabble letters, pull out a dozen or so, and sign the player who comes up. The more letters the better, as they are 50p each to have on your shirt.<\/p>\n I’d hurry up if i was you, by the way, they are bound to run out of v’s before the game starts on Saturday.<\/p>\n The new boy, signed from Midtjylland, is raring to go, and the club are pleased with themselves for bringing him in.<\/p>\n CELTIC are delighted to announce that Erik Sviatchenko has joined the club on a four-and-a-half year deal from FC Midtjylland.<\/em><\/p>\n The highly-rated Danish internationalist, who had attracted a lot of interest from a number of top clubs, chose the Scottish champions and becomes the latest addition to Ronny Deila\u2019s squad.<\/em><\/p>\n Erik has already gained four caps for Denmark and scored one goal against France in October last year.<\/em><\/p>\n And the 24-year-old defender also helped FC Midtjylland reach the last 32 of this season\u2019s UEFA Europa League, where they will play Manchester United next month.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n But Erik has opted to join Celtic and help the Hoops in their bid for the treble in this campaign.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n And the player ?<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cI am so happy to join Celtic, such a fantastic club and such a huge name in football. This is a club with a wonderful pedigree and a massive support.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI will do everything I can to bring success to Celtic. It means so much to me to join a winning club, to join a club that goes for and wins trophies and wants to play in the Champions League.\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI have had a taste of winning with Midtjylland and I want more of this feeling at Celtic. When you play football, you want to be remembered for winning and I want to be remembered as a winner with Celtic.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI know we have a squad of really talented players and I can\u2019t wait to get started, team up with them and get to work.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n So far so good, but thats based largely on video’s, but I’m more than optimistic, as by and large, we do seem to do well when finding centre halves.<\/p>\n Think we may have missed a trick here with picking the number to go next to 16 in his promotional picture taken in the dressing room…<\/p>\n So what do we know about him ? Is he the man to kick baws, smack jaws and shag maws, as one tweeter delightfully described him ? Theres little doubt that a wee bit of meanness wouldn’t go amiss in this team, as we’ve had to rely largely on Scott Brown staring at people when the going gets tough for the last couple of years.<\/p>\n What , for instance, does he do in his spare time ?<\/p>\n Martial arts ? Bare knuckle boxing ? Drive by shootings ?<\/p>\n No.<\/p>\n He’s a fashion blogger and model.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n I suppose the aromatic whiff of an alluring scent might put a few off.<\/p>\n You can already see him being booked after a goalmouth scramble from a corner for tickling an opponent .<\/p>\n I’m probably wrong, as he’s told the Daily Record that he<\/p>\n A mental coach, presumably, is anyone who takes on the job at Ibrox thinking it’s still the same club, they can still attract top players on top wages, and that Dave king will bankroll his ambitions.<\/p>\n No, in this context it refers to a psychologist…Rene Peterson ( Who ? -Ed ) (I don’t know-Ralph )<\/p>\n \u201cI was too soft and needed someone to challenge me mentally.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cFor example, I would be afraid after the game what the players would think about me.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cSo Rene helped me focus on the tough world of football. It has improved me as a player but it won\u2019t change my values off the park.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n \n <\/p>\n <\/span><\/em><\/p>\n Make him play alongside Boyata in his first game, with a one off return for Ian Andrews in goal. If that doesn’t bring out his mean side, then nothing will.<\/p>\n This, of course, is the usual “wind and pish ” from the diary, so we’d better ask someone who commands a little more respect to give us the lowdown on the lad.<\/p>\n Marc Reiper, one half of one of the best Celtic defensive pairings I’ve seen, said<\/p>\n “Take no notice of that clown who does the Diary “<\/em><\/p>\n “Erik is highly rated in Denmark. Together with Agger and Kjaer he\u2019s the best defender in our country And he\u2019s the up-and-coming one. He has the future running for him. When Agger was at his best, he was outstanding. But Erik is capable of getting up to that level.<\/em><\/p>\n “This is a good deal for both parties. Erik gets to try something that he would consider to be a bigger stage. And Celtic are getting a very good defender. He\u2019s really composed on the pitch. Even though he\u2019s not the biggest, he\u2019s strong in the air and has quick feet. Erik has more or less everything you would want in a defender.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Well, thats good enough for me.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Alarmed by the signing of Sviatchenko, which as usual was missed by everyone in the press, the diligent Scottish sports media immediately googled Scandinavian football, and came up with interest in<\/p>\n Mohammed Elyanoussi, who scored for molde against the Hoops earlier this season, and is also represented by the same guy who represents Stefan johansen.<\/p>\n And we hear it may happen, because if Tom Rogic does move to Leeds, we can always pretend he hasn’t.<\/p>\n The press , of course, are still basking in the triumph of breaking this shattering story;<\/p>\n If they want a story, they might want to question these statistics, which hint at an arrival of a new club in the top division no matter what it takes to do it;<\/p>\n Mind you, we hear all is not well over there as manager Warby Warburton, on the threshold of a couple of major signings, can’t reach Dave Kings mobile to ask him how much money he can spend…<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Celtic \u00a0are in talks with another Dane, winger Rasmus Falk, son of actor Peter Falk ( oh, for fucks sake -Ed ) who is wondering about one more thing before he signs.<\/p>\n For other gossip, have a look at this, from the apprpriately named Celtic gossip, as he rounds up the weeks shite from the press…<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/i2.dailyrecord.co.uk\/incoming\/article3092224.ece\/ALTERNATES\/s615\/Celtic.jpg\")
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<\/p>\nasked a mental coach to toughen him up<\/h2>\n
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