Dear Paddy, I was smacked in the street for being pished and shouting verbals. I then fell over. Was I out of order?<\/p>\n
Lukasz, Germany<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paddy responds<\/strong> \u2013 Fell over? Call yirsel a man FFS. I\u2019ll come oe\u2019r there, cut off yir mangina and feed it tae my Goldfish. Feck yie!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Paddy, I was lying down counting the grass when this brute stuck his foot in my ear causing it to bleed. I reported it to my manager. What would you have done?<\/p>\n Emilio, Glasgow<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paddy responds<\/strong> \u2013 Reported it tae yir manager? \u00a0Was yoor name Whiskas at school for being a big feck aff pussy? Feck yie!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Paddy, I was subbed last week and threw a tantrum. I shouted and pointed at Wolverine in the open glare of the public. I then apologised for my behaviour. Was I wrong?<\/p>\n Kris, Parkhead<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paddy responds<\/strong> \u2013 Apologised? I\u2019d have stuck his fecken claws so high up his arse they\u2019d have come out his mouth and ah\u2019d a used them as a battle opener fur my beers. Feck yie!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Paddy, I feel like I\u2019m losing control. My team are arguing and fighting and it\u2019s getting out of hand. What do you think I should do?<\/p>\n Ronny, Lennoxtown<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paddy responds<\/strong> \u2013 What would ah do? Fur starters, ah wouldny stand aroon like a wummin on\u2019er fecken bad week. Ah\u2019d get ma lighter an set aboot the basturts burning the hairs on thur baws & would keep gawn fur as lang as it took me to smoke 20 tabs and drink 6 cans. Feck yie!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Paddy, people keep asking me to show my money but I don\u2019t have much. I\u2019ve tried every con in the book but the only idiots who haven\u2019t sussed yet are Rangers supporters groups. Would it be bad of me to take their money?<\/p>\n Dave, South Africa<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paddy responds<\/strong> \u2013 Would it be bad of yie? Rangers yie say? Feck naw. If the eejits are daft enough to believe yie then they deserve feck aw. Ugly inbred stupid mono-browed fecks that they ur. Feck thum!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Dear Paddy, I have an EBT. Do you think I should come clean about how I plan to pay it back?<\/p>\n Neil, c\/o SKY<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Paddy responds<\/strong> \u2013 An EBT? The last guy ah knew who had one ah them jahned the French furrin legion. Didn\u2019t help as his boaby still fell aff 6 months later. Feck yie!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Paddy, I was smacked in the street for being pished and shouting verbals. I then fell over. Was I out of order? Lukasz, Germany…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":7976,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/etims.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/Paddy-McCourt-Messi-photo.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2J7If-24D","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7975"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7975"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7975\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7977,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7975\/revisions\/7977"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7976"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7975"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7975"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7975"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}