{"id":7624,"date":"2015-08-13T09:03:50","date_gmt":"2015-08-13T08:03:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=7624"},"modified":"2015-08-13T09:03:50","modified_gmt":"2015-08-13T08:03:50","slug":"clever-or-quick-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=7624","title":{"rendered":"Clever or Quick Enough ?"},"content":{"rendered":"

This was written before last nights game, proving that Etims aren’t clever or quick enough either.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Broadsword considers the validity of “those ” comments from John Collins<\/em><\/p>\n

Clever or Quick Enough?<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes, we switch off and think it doesn\u2019t really matter, because they\u2019re not going to punish us,” Collins told national newspapers. “If you become open and detached from each other against good players and good teams, you\u2019ll be punished.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s something that doesn\u2019t happen to us in Scotland. No disrespect to the other Scottish teams, but they\u2019re not clever enough players or quick enough thinkers to punish us.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe want to open up and be expansive when we have the ball but as soon as it breaks down it\u2019s an instant sprint back into our shape so there are no gaps for opponents to play through us.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIn Scotland, we can be gung-ho, we can have full-backs overlapping the whole 90 minutes. We\u2019d love to do that in Europe, but the reality is you\u2019d concede a lot of goals.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

These are the shameful, disgusting and vicious remarks made by John Angus Paul Collins. Make no mistake, our narcissistic, conceited and arrogant assistant manager has declared war upon the entire Scottish footballing fraternity, as evidenced by the tour conducted by the BBC Scotland Sports department on Monday to interview managers and players, the length and breadth of the country to vent their extreme displeasure at these scandalous remarks from the bend-the-ball-round-the-Rangers-wall specialist.<\/p>\n

Oddly enough I did not really pick up on any disagreement with the remarks. Does this mean something? Was I on the Super Lager at tea time? Is there more to this? Could it be that they were in fact, dare I say it, correct?\u00a0 Well well buggering well, Collins might just be telling the truth here. Or maybe he isn\u2019t. I strongly feel, given the justified national outcry, the feeling of disrespect prevalent among so many professionals, the tears of the children, the slaying of innocent pets, the crashing of cars, that some analysis is in order to ascertain whether Collins is bang on or bang out of order.<\/p>\n

Let me take you on a journey through the other teams we shall face through the course of our domestic campaign and we\u2019ll see if other players are clever enough or quick enough to punish us.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Aberdeen<\/p>\n

Under Derek McInnes they have improved, have reasonable strength and were agonisingly close to be playing European football during the school year. First up for consideration is Graeme Shinnie. A very useful left back with a modicum of attacking flair and imagination (lovely goal against Killie) but in all fairness to him I don\u2019t think many Celtic fans had registered him until Steven McLean got him through a semi-final. A decent player, but not ticking the clever and quick boxes for me.<\/p>\n

Niall McGinn enjoys near enough hero status in the Seagull Arena these days but he was at Celtic, we\u2019ve seen plenty of him to know that, despite the odd encouraging moment, he too does not contradict Collins\u2019 opinion.<\/p>\n

Peter Pawlett is very much a possible though. He is undoubtedly quick and, certainly from what I\u2019ve seen, possesses good game intelligence. I\u2019ll say that he sticks two fingers up to Collins\u2019 words.<\/p>\n

Aberdeen 1 Collins 2<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dundee<\/p>\n

Hartley is another manager who has done well. This is a team that I like to watch, they play in an entertaining manner and are worth keeping an eye on. Greg Stewart is the stand out for me. I\u2019ve been told that a number of Celtic players voted for him for Player of the Year last season and it\u2019s kind of easy to see why. The boy scores goals, and quite a number of them are crackers. He has an excellent left foot and can create opportunities for himself. I\u2019ll be generous and award him the victory here.<\/p>\n

Aside from Stewart I couldn\u2019t really think (or be arsed to think) of any worthy of contemplation. Still though, it\u2019s Dundee, Albert Kidd an aw that. Draw.<\/p>\n

Dundee 1 Collins 1<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dundee United<\/p>\n

\"tesco<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We like shopping here. So much so that I was struggling to think who could be considered. I mean, have we not bought everyone they have ever had, even Jim Spence?<\/p>\n

Anyway, the internet has reliably informed that they do actually have some remaining employees. John Souttar is one of them. He\u2019s flying in the face of Collins\u2019 remarks. A good reader of the game, very good on the ball and able to protect the defence \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t be at all surprised if he is going to feature on one of Ronny Deila\u2019s\/John Park\u2019s\/Peter Lawwell\u2019s letters to Santa.<\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s Blair Spittal. Lively, direct and capable of nabbing a goal or two. In all honesty I have only included him as I enjoy saying his name in my head. Blair Spittal. See, you liked that didn\u2019t you? You disgust me. He\u2019s a no by the way.<\/p>\n

Robbie Muirhead is a player who we were keen to take from Kilmarnock. He also scored a fantastic goal from distance for the Scotland under-19s. He is also a rare commodity in that he is a Scottish player who has commanded a six figure transfer fee. There\u2019s just one minor issue. He doesn\u2019t really score many goals. In fact he\u2019s pish at it. 4 goals for Kilmarnock and 2 so far for Dundee United. Nah, not yet, maybe one day but not this one.<\/p>\n

Dundee United 1 Collins 2<\/p>\n

Hamilton Accies<\/p>\n

Nah. Although the parents of Ziggy Gordon should be congratulated for their fantastic naming skills.<\/p>\n

Hamilton Academicals 0 Collins 3<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hearts<\/p>\n

This was probably the trickiest team to judge. In all fairness to them I haven\u2019t seen a great deal other than when we beat them twice last season and the odd highlight here and there. Given that they played last season in the most wonderfully competitive yet shengus league in existence it is difficult to give them a fair assessment\u2026<\/p>\n

The boy Juanma looks to be a good signing, although Ladbrokes have him at 2\/1 to sign for Celtic it leads me to believe that there is a new choice of breakfast for the league sponsors.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Oshaniwa may eventually laugh in the face of our toned coned-dropper but it\u2019s too early to call so I\u2019ll play this one safe.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Heart of Midlothian 0 Collins 3<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Inverness Caledonian Thistle<\/p>\n

The start to the season has reinforced a long held suspicion of mine. They actually aren\u2019t that good. With Shinnie and Watkins away they\u2019ve been depleted. There may be a case for Ryan Christie but I think he\u2019s a possible contender in the future and not the present.<\/p>\n

Steven McLean remains their most dangerous player.<\/p>\n

ICT 0 Collins 3<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Kilmarnock<\/p>\n

Absolutely not. Bacon and Brown Sauce bastards the lot of them.<\/p>\n

Kilmarnock 0 Collins 3<\/p>\n

Motherwell<\/p>\n

As much as they provided some hilarity at the end of the last season they are very much looking like a Strachanista retirement village.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Motherwell 0 Collins 3<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Partick Thistle<\/p>\n

Ryan Stevenson, in particular, took exception with what Collins said. Sunday provided him with an ideal opportunity to ram it down his tanned throat. He didn\u2019t. Do you know why? That\u2019s right \u2013 he\u2019s guff. As were the rest of his team.<\/p>\n

However, not all is lost for the Jags as they do have an undoubted challenger here. Kingsley.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/p>\n

If Lawwell knows what\u2019s good for Celtic then he will break the bank to get this..this\u2026thing in at Celtic. A poignant reminder, for all of our youth players, of the dangers of a drug-addled youth and serial hedge-jumping.<\/p>\n

Partick Thistle 1 Collins 2<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ross County<\/p>\n

Given that their best player was gifted to them by us then I declare a doing. Up ye Sausages.<\/p>\n

Ross County 0 Collins 3<\/p>\n

St Johnstone<\/p>\n

I am slightly biased here in that I have played in the same team as one of their regulars (only a couple of times). He\u2019s a very charitable and forgiving soul but that also tells me something about the level they operate at!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

St Johnstone 0 Collins 3<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I toyed with the notion of considering some of the lower league clubs, given that we could get them in one of the cups and that there is a fair whack of media attention around them, and their shitty transfer bids. Alas, I reasoned that it would be unjust, unfair and without purpose to do so. Anyway, the merest mention of \u2018St Mirren\u2019 makes me think that I will be kidnapped and forced to look for Steven Thompson\u2019s penalty attempt\u2026<\/p>\n

So, in the most rigorous, robust and empirical manner the results are in. SPFL All Stars 4 Collins 29. Our press-up loving predator has been proven right, emphatically so and that\u2019s a proper factoid\u2026<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was written before last nights game, proving that Etims aren’t clever or quick enough either.\u00a0 Broadsword considers the validity of “those ” comments from…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":7626,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/etims.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/John-Collins-001.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2J7If-1YY","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7624"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7624"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7627,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7624\/revisions\/7627"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7626"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}