Thats everybody away to their beds.<\/p>\n
First bit of peace and quiet all day.<\/p>\n
This morning it was a bank with no cashiers, then a department store that made up its prices as it went along, and finally i got to see a guy arguing with the man behind the bar in the co-op as to why the post office should be open on christmas Day.<\/p>\n
Finally, the worn out shopman told him it was open between ten and two.<\/p>\n
I hope the daft bastard turns up with whatever was so important it couldn’t wait until the weekend. In fact, i might grab a couple of cans and go and wait outside the place for him to turn up. Remember, the average man is stupid, so at least half of those you meet will be even dumber than that.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I digress.<\/p>\n
I meant to throw together the usual nonsense this morning, but I got caught up in the nonsense that surrounds this time of year. and I’m barred from Debenhams, which is where all the people from the Jeremy Kyle show work in the week.<\/p>\n
Anyway, its christmas, and as long as Santa makes it over the Ukraine, all the kids should be happy this morning . Hopefully they’ll get what they wanted. \u00a0In fact, in town today they did a full scale tribute to that football match back in the trenches in 1914. I got into the spirit of things and stabbed one of the Germans when it was finished.<\/p>\n
My Dad used to make a great Santa Claus, turned up one night a year, drank all the beer, ate all the food and fucked off again for twelve months.<\/p>\n
Mind you, thats me \u00a0done with both my advent calenders. The UKIP one, where theres a foreigner behind all the doors and you get to close it on them every day until they’re all locked out, \u00a0and the Katie Price one, where all the flaps are always open.<\/p>\n
Oh wait, theres the phone going.<\/p>\n
Its the wife, She says she wants me to pick her up from the town, she doesn’t trust the taxi drivers and they take the piss with the prices this time of year.<\/p>\n
If I give it a minute she’ll go back to sleep. She hasn’t been out, and has spent the evening with comrade vodka. \u00a0Which she intends to do for a couple of days, thus restoring the Russian economy back to its former status.<\/p>\n
I got a Miranda Hart DVD from her this year, which will save me the bother of opening it. she went nuts though, I told her I loved it, and she called me a fucking liar and stormed off into the kitchen.<\/p>\n
I almost got lucky with the present for the youngest-I found one I’d wrapped last year and forgotten about it. Would have got away with it as well if it hadn’t been a puppy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Anyway, I’m having a refreshment now its quiet, and I’m raising the glass to all of you who have put up with this shite all year, and heres hoping you have a great Christmas, from all of us here at Etims, and you get to spend it with who you want in the way that you want to,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
After all, thats what its all about.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And come on the hoops !<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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