{"id":6012,"date":"2014-11-18T12:55:06","date_gmt":"2014-11-18T12:55:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=6012"},"modified":"2014-11-18T12:58:16","modified_gmt":"2014-11-18T12:58:16","slug":"are-you-atypical-celtic-fan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=6012","title":{"rendered":"Are you Atypical Celtic Fan?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thanks to the lovely folk over at YouGov<\/a> (hat doff\u00a0to WingsOverScotland for the heads-up), we have found a nice stat based Profiler ( CSI Celtic!)\u00a0to reveal the typical Celtic fan. It makes interesting, if often bizarre reading and no doubt the Celtic FC plc Marketing Department ( hello Lucy the intern!) will have a field day pouring over the findings.<\/p>\n

The main question is, how do you compare to the average fan then?<\/p>\n

First up<\/p>\n

Demographics:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"celtic-stats1\"<\/p>\n

So basically, youre a Glasgow City council worker with a few quid to spend each month who loves 80s music and socialist politics.<\/p>\n

Work wise, the average fan is still very much your “Blue collar meets\u00a0green and white scarf” kinda guy and ghirl. This is something Peter might want to consider when he keeps droning on about market\u00a0responsibility and his beloved shareholders.<\/p>\n

Age wise, Celtic have a fine spread from 18 onwards but the older 60+ bracket are literally dying away according to the stats.\u00a0Maybe that in house wi-fi doesnt matter as much as getting a decent bovril to the Auld Brigade. Is it time to consider Stana Stairlifts for the Upper Stands rather than party zones for the Green Brigade ?<\/p>\n

The spread of Celtic fans across Scotland did make pleasant reading and interestingly, Northern Ireland didnt appear in the list of populous regions, YouGov cant like phoning across the water.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Next up, Lifestyle<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"celtic-stats-lifestyle\"<\/p>\n

Food wise, the new catering at Celtic Park might want to rethink those Pizzas and Pakoras. It seems Celtic fans much prefer Scottish fare with Tattie Scones, Lorne Sausage, \u00a0Lentil Soup and even Haggis\u00a0being very popular amongst the gannets.<\/p>\n

Stodge, stodge stodge,in the words of The Celtic Beatle,\u00a0stodge is all you need!<\/p>\n

The Lifestyle of Celtic fans is very much an ecumenical matter. It appears to be we are all obsessed with going to Mass, talking or reading\u00a0about Mass and playing music instruments or phone or\u00a0video games, probably about\u00a0singing hymns in Mass.<\/p>\n

Who completed this survey, The Vatican CSC?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Maybe instead of a Paradise Windfall, we should have a half time sermon on Paradise entry.<\/p>\n

Other interesting interests for Celtic fans\u00a0include Museums, Chess, Sudoku and reading non-fiction.Anyone else picturing Gary Kasparov in a Celtic top eating a roll n sausage and broon sauce whilst reading ‘A History of\u00a0 Japanese Art at The Guggenheim’?<\/p>\n

It was nice to see the\u00a0Scotland Football team making it into Niche interests.With\u00a0folk such\u00a0 as Strachan,Mulgrew, Broon, Gordon, Forrest and others, the Celtic influence continues to grow for the national side and likewise the Celtic fans interest.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sports interest wise, its the usual\u00a0 pub staples, Football,\u00a0boxing, \u00a0horse racing are all near the top\u00a0.\u00a0Gaelic Football made an appearance, so nice to see some Irish influence made it onto the list although strangely more Celtic fans cited basketball than the Gaelic. LeBrawn over Le Beara it seems. Despite our trips to Murrayfield lately, rugby didnt make the grade in Sports interest but it did score high in Niche interests, go figure.<\/p>\n

Next up, Personality<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"celtic-stats-personality\"<\/p>\n

Look at you, ya dour faced paranoid conspiracy theorist with a heart of gold!<\/p>\n

Yip, seems the rumours are true, we really are paranoid and convinced everyones out to get us and up to no good. Which doesnt mean we’re wrong of course!<\/p>\n

Under how they describe themselves, Celtic fans cite ‘Big Hearted’ \u00a0‘Challenging’ and ‘Ethical’. One to remember at the next AGM Living Wage vote! They also cite themselves as “A Great Performer” but that could have just been Frank McAvennie completing the questionnaire me thinks.<\/p>\n

The ‘But on Occassion’ reflects the dark days we have all had to live under. None of this eternal optimism shite for us, oh no, ‘on occasion’, we cite ourselves as ‘Nervous’ ‘Impatient’, Grumpy’ and even ‘A Pushover. Those\u00a0 tragic European nights and the dark domestic days under the Masonic\u00a0Cabal in Mount Florida will haunt us for a little while yet<\/p>\n

Next up,Brands<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"celtic-stats-brands\"<\/p>\n

So youre buying your Lee Cooper denims in Asda these days eh?<\/p>\n

Lee Cooper? Is there someone travelling back in time to Just Pants Plus in Argyle Street circa 1982 and bringing back some stonewash jeans?<\/p>\n

Finance wise, seems the typical Celtic fan still keeps his money or mortgage with a “scottish” bank and gets his utilities from “scottish” providers.\u00a0 Food wise, more likely for a Tim to be seen in\u00a0Lidl than Waitrose so no chance of organic quinoa making it onto the Celtic Park catering menu for a while yet then.<\/p>\n

Interesting to see M&S creeping into the popular shops, its not just Timmys tattie scones, its M&S Timmys tattie scones!<\/p>\n

Clothes wise, it really is a shocking return to the 80s or has old fashion just come around again? Popular amongst Celts are Doc Martens, Ben Sherman and Pringle jumpers…its like Quadrophenia staged at Linn Park Golf course in Castlemilk. Some of the weans tastes appear with Abercrombie and Fitch and G-Star making the list but all in all, looks like the Celtic fans prefer the Merchant City boozers than Style Mile designer labels.<\/p>\n

Celtic Car park wise, its quite a broad church for the “Watch your motor mister” crew. Vauxhall top the list but a few luxury brands like Land Rover and Audi pop into the list so seems some Celtic fans care more about the quality of their motor oil than their\u00a0chip oil these days.In saying that, value for money motors such as Kia and Hyundai are near the top so seems we like bang for our buck which is something the club must always keep in mind.<\/p>\n

Next up, Entertainment<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"celtic-stats-entertainment\"<\/p>\n

Wow, look at how you spend a night.Dancing to Rod, laughing at Tam, shouting FREEDOM out the windae then settling down to enjoy an Emmerdale Omnibus.<\/p>\n

Actually sounds like no a bad night if Im honest.<\/p>\n

Tam Cowan under favourite celelbs raised the first laugh from him since I saw him in The Glencairn Club a few years back. My favourite favourite celebrity on the list has to the appearance of Comedy giant Chevy Chase but strangely theres no Billy Connolly.<\/p>\n

Celtic celeb wise, Peter Mullan and James McAvoy pop up along with Paulo Nutini and Rod the Mod and Susan Boyle. Is Calvin Harris a Tim or just popular with the young Celtic contingent? Music wise,seems we are quite melodic when we arent dancing and nice to see some folk folk make the list with The Dubliners and The Incredible String Band.<\/p>\n

Talent wise Lorraine Kelly pips Lucy from Emmerdale re-inforcing the Scottish leanings.<\/p>\n

Movie wise, this was rather astonishing. You all love romantic comedies. What you like? From Drew Barrymore to big John Wayne, you love a rom-com. Nice to see the excellent Man On Fire ( where Peter Lawwell learned his bartering techniques)\u00a0make the list though, there must be a Celtic top with Denzils name on it somewhere in this world!<\/p>\n

TV wise, well no surprise to see Still Game riding high on the list with BBC Scotland shows including Sportscene and (the ever decreasing) Only An Excuse getting high viewing figures from Celtic fans. Reporting Scotland even gets a mention but how this would be affected post referendum coverage is debatable. Mind you, The appearance of Opportunity Knocks alongside Modern Family does\u00a0makes me wonder just how long this survey took to complete.<\/p>\n

Next stop, Online<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"celtic-stats-online\"<\/p>\n

Its at this point we look at Celtic fans online activity and we get to weep and wail and cry out “WHY???, WHY???”<\/p>\n

As if.<\/p>\n

No sign of Celtic sites bar the official sites so we can only assume the survey didnt take in normal people who enjoy voices other than the party line.\u00a0The religion aspect continues with The Popes Twitter account being popular but\u00a0who\u00a0knows\u00a0why Celtic fans feel the need to follow J.K Rowling on Twitter, well each to their own I suppose. If you want to know how mega rich money live, just ask a Celtic director. EtimsNet follower Kevin Bridges is up there which is very well deserved.<\/p>\n

The citing of websites for\u00a0 Glasgow Council( surfing at work are you Tim?) and the Scottish Government and Scottish Herald along with Yes Scotland accounts show an interest in the referendum but will these surveys ever tell the truth about where people are really going on the web. You know.<\/p>\n

Bringing us finally too, Media<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"celtic-stats-media\"<\/p>\n

Oh you may be getting auld, but youre still with it!<\/p>\n

NME?…all those years reading Smash Hits ( dont deny it!) have paid off as you sit there in your your Astra\u00a0knowing your Kasabians from your Keishas and your Bombay Cycle Club from your Courteneers.<\/p>\n

The Average Tim likes a good wee surf at almost 6 hours a day.Well work shouldnt give you Internet access if they dont expect you to use it now should they? (\u00a0Do NOT \u00a0try that as a legal defense, it doesnt work, trust us!).\u00a0 Seems like the wifi idea at Celtic Park was a necessity given our online addiction.<\/p>\n

Papers wise, The Herald does best but with no appearance for the Daily Record we can only assume there was an omission in the list. Its shite, but people do read it.\u00a0 The Daily Star scores higher than The Guardian so its not all high brow on the green seats these days and despite our boards leanings the right wing papers all fall way way way way way way down the list. Which is nice.<\/p>\n

Magazine wise, its NME and Rolling Stone for Music fans. Celtic View and FourFourTwo for football fans.\u00a0 A few admit to having a sneaky peek at Reveal ( you know fine well what that is!)\u00a0 and\u00a0good to see a wee nod to the free Shortlist Magazine which is always worth picking up if you spot it on your travels.<\/p>\n

Telly wise, well it seems the old ranting about Celtic fans\u00a0“breeding like rabbits” is out the window as most Tims just seem to be sat in front of the goggle-box these days.\u00a0 An average of 50 hours watching telly a week, wow,what else\u00a0is Timmy watching we wonder?<\/p>\n

Its probably all that Sport, or quickly skipping past those last night adult entertainment channels trying to find the Sudoku channel, ahem. Right?<\/p>\n

Wrong!<\/p>\n

Seems we cant get enough of Australian soaps ( was this survey started in 1983?), Countdown ( youre hearing the clock theme in your head now arent you?)\u00a0 and for those Reveal readers, they love a watch at Celeb Big Brother. The political awareness in Scotland shows itself again with an interest in Question Time and seems we just cant get enough of current affairs with many News shows being watched by Celtic folk out there.<\/p>\n

And that as they say is that?<\/p>\n

So…How did you stack up?<\/p>\n

Are you muttering “What a lot of shite?” or wondering “Do they have a dating website for these folk?”<\/p>\n

Let us know in the comments below.<\/p>\n

Coming soon….ATYPICAL SEVCO Fan!<\/p>\n

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