{"id":4139,"date":"2013-12-13T09:15:07","date_gmt":"2013-12-13T09:15:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=4139"},"modified":"2013-12-13T09:15:07","modified_gmt":"2013-12-13T09:15:07","slug":"a-changing-room-somewhere-near-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=4139","title":{"rendered":"A Changing Room Somewhere Near You"},"content":{"rendered":"

A Changing Room Somewhere Near You by Brian53<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife.<\/p>\n

Heads were in hands as the players were too embarrassed to look anyone else in the eye. An unidentified player pipes up \u201cdid you see the bastards? All over me like a bloody rash. I got closed down by one guy and while I was looking for someone to pass it to up pops another one, I turned only to find a third who took the ball off me. Where the hell were the rest of you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence.<\/p>\n

After a respectful minutes silence another unidentified player pipes up \u201cDid yae see how fit they wur? I wiz sure they hid at least 15 oan the park, pass and move, pass and move, wit wur we suppose tae dae\u201d \u201cwhose bloody idea wiz it tae play way wingers anywye, efter them last two results then we go back tae nae midfield, bloody stupid if yae ask me\u201d Silence.<\/p>\n

The door bursts open and an unidentified player enters the room. \u201cyon basturds hinging uz oot tae dry oot there, sayin Virg, Ant & Mick wir the only decent wans oot there! Diznae say much fir you Efe\u201d Silence.<\/p>\n

The door burst open again, this time the manager appears with two unidentified followers, one a blonde, the other in dungarees. \u201cWit the hell wiz that\u201d he said \u201c I telt yae\u2019s tae pass and move, no bloody tae staun there watching them play and wit the hell wir yae\u2019s dain passing tae them? Wiz it no hard enough\u201d Silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyway I hung yae\u2019s oot tae dry, so yez better git yer act together if yae want tae stey. Just remember, there\u2019s plenty o duds wir you came fae\u201d Silence.<\/p>\n

The manager and the two unidentified followers leave the room. Several unidentified players look at each other and shrug, one obviously the ring leader say\u2019s \u201cWit did he want, bloody miracles, how kin he expect us tae play in that crap league then cum oot here. Wir back four an midfield never git pressure like that so how er we tae cope wae it when we play at this level\u201d Silence.<\/p>\n

No one else speaks as the team shower, change and leave.<\/p>\n

An hour later two Spanish cleaner enter the dressing room. There is something hanging on a peg. The first cleaner goes over to it and say\u2019s in Spanish \u201cWit the fuck\u2019s the glove fir\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Changing Room Somewhere Near You by Brian53 You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. Heads were in hands as the players were…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":4141,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/etims.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/Barcelona-v-Celtic-Neil-Lennon-woe_3050277.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2J7If-14L","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4139"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4139"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4139\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4142,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4139\/revisions\/4142"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4141"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}