{"id":3664,"date":"2013-10-04T08:30:10","date_gmt":"2013-10-04T07:30:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/etims.net\/?p=3664"},"modified":"2013-10-04T10:32:02","modified_gmt":"2013-10-04T09:32:02","slug":"the-greatest-trick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=3664","title":{"rendered":"The Greatest Trick"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Greatest Trick by Brian53<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The interview had just finished and the detective was none the wiser.\u00a0\u00a0The suspect had told a plausible story and the detective had had no reason to detain him any longer.<\/p>\n

The suspect wheeled through the station bumping into desks and chairs as he struggled to navigate in the crowded room.\u00a0\u00a0He hated having to sit in this chair but refused to feel sorry for himself.\u00a0\u00a0Ignoring the stares from everyone he passed he made his way slowly to the front door.<\/p>\n

The detective left his office and went to the coffee machine, his mind going over the story he had been told one more time.\u00a0\u00a0The machine was out of milk again and he gave it a kick \u201cFuckin black again\u201d he murmured to himself.\u00a0\u00a0His colleagues that sat beside the machine gave each other knowing glances, making sure the detective didn\u2019t catch the smile, they knew from experience what happened if you got caught.\u00a0\u00a0When he was out of earshot they all burst out laughing \u201cFuckin Tim, thinks we\u2019re going to put milk in it, stupid bastard\u201d They liked black.<\/p>\n

He slammed the door as he got back to his office, his buddy was sitting in his seat, so he put the spare seat back in front of his desk and sat down.\u00a0\u00a0He got up and went to the filing cabinet, unlocked the top drawer and pulled out the bottle inside; he liked to have a nip with his coffee.\u00a0\u00a0His buddy smiled and said \u201cThey\u2019ll find out one of these days,\u201d \u201cWho cares, I enjoy winding them up\u201d he said as he put the milk back in the drawer.<\/p>\n

He went back to the seat and they chatted for a few minutes before his buddy left and went back to his own desk.\u00a0\u00a0Sitting alone he started to go over the suspects story again in his head as he enjoyed his milky coffee.\u00a0\u00a0As his mind ticked over he glanced around the room looking at nothing in particular when a flyer on the notice board behind his desk caught his attention.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"lamb\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At first he thought it was just a coincidence but right next to it on the board was this!<\/p>\n

\"Smoke\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Now fully alert he put the coffee mug down on his desk thinking\u00a0Naw, no way. He stared at the mug as if in a trance, You\u2019ve got to be fuckin jokin! Next to the mug, his change lay on the desk.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"MugampCash\"<\/a><\/p>\n

He quickly scanned the room, refusing to believe what he was seeing. Surely this is just coincidence! His eyes were drawn back to his desk where his tax return lay waiting for him to fill it in next to last nights cinema tickets and his unfinished morning break of millionaire shortbread.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"TaxTickMil\"<\/a><\/p>\n

His pulse was starting to race as he stood and walked over to the notice board.\u00a0\u00a0Things were starting to jump out at him now; he could hardly keep up as he spotted one then another<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Ebt5Judge\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Shaking his head he moved around the front of the desk and took another sip of his now cold coffee, it was beginning to taste bitter in his mouth.\u00a0\u00a0He looked down at the mat for his mug and the tube of glue lying next to it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Blue5088\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His shoulders slumped as he put the mug back down on the mat.\u00a0\u00a0One last look around the office brought the final pieces into play<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"DampPSevcoHist\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Slapping his thigh he started laughing, everyone was starting to look over his way but he didn\u2019t care, he had been part of the biggest wheeze in history.\u00a0\u00a0Tears started flooding down his face as the posters above the door caught his eye.\u00a0\u00a0He was bent over double by the time his buddy reappeared at the door.<\/p>\n

\"CharlotteFakes\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the fucks going on, you\u2019ll have the boss in here in a minute and you know what he thinks of joviality\u201d<\/p>\n

Outside the police station the old lady was getting agitated waiting for the bus, bloody things are never on time<\/em> \u00a0she thought.\u00a0\u00a0She was watching the comings and goings at the station thinking how busy it was today.<\/p>\n

Relieved to get to the front door of the station the suspect was covered in sweat and having difficulty wheeling his chair.\u00a0\u00a0A police officer held the door open for him smiling politely as he did so, two faced bastards<\/em>\u00a0he thought.\u00a0\u00a0The fresh breeze was cool on his face but offered little relief from his near panic state.\u00a0\u00a0It had only been minutes since he left the interview room and he was running out of time.\u00a0\u00a0Quickly he propelled the chair along the pavement heading west.<\/p>\n

The officer at the door noticed that the invalid had dropped his bag, he went out on to the street and called after him \u201cHi you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The old lady let out a scream as the man jumped out of the wheelchair and ran to a waiting car that speed off at high speed.\u00a0\u00a0The man next to her said \u201cI just love Little Britain, that Andy Pipkin is my favourite character\u201d The old lady fainted.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he didn’t exist\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Brian53<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Greatest Trick by Brian53 The interview had just finished and the detective was none the wiser.\u00a0\u00a0The suspect had told a plausible story and the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3673,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/etims.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/usual.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2J7If-X6","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3664"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3664"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3664\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3707,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3664\/revisions\/3707"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3673"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/etims.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}