Standing in the door of the Big Hoose
\nCrying in the rain
\nIt was a kind of so so thing
\nAnd I’m going to make sure it never
\nHappens again
\nYou and Traynor
\nIt had to be
\nThe standing joke of the year
\nYou were a sleep around
\nA lost and found
\nAnd not for me I fear<\/p>\n
I tried to make it work
\nYou in an Orange shirt
\nAnd me in a suit
\n(Well it just wasn’t me)
\nYou’re used to bitterness
\nAnd now your life’s a mess
\nSo insecure you see
\nI put up with all the scenes
\nAnd this is one scene
\nThat’s going to be played my way<\/p>\n
Take your hands off me
\nI don’t belong to you, you see
\nTake a look at my face
\nFor the last time
\nI never knew you
\nYou never knew me
\nSay hello goodbye
\nSay hello wave goodbye<\/p>\n
Under the deep blue light
\nI can see the big hoose sliding down
\nHey Rangers you were always a cheat
\nSo take off that unbecoming frown
\nWhat about us- well
\nWe’ll find someone
\nThat’s not going cheap in the sales
\nA nice group of pals
\nWho’ll give me a steady life
\nAnd won’t keep going off the rails<\/p>\n
Take your hands off me
\nI don’t belong to you, you see
\nTake a look at my face
\nFor the last time
\nI never knew you
\nYou never knew me
\nSay hello goodbye
\nSay hello wave goodbye<\/p>\n
You\u2019ve been around
\nFor far too long now
\nAnd to know your past has been hell
\nYou\u2019re a newco meeting for the first time, okay?
\nJust smile and say hello
\nSay hello then wave goodbye<\/p>\n
Say hello then wave goodbye (x3)
\nSay hello wave goodbye
\nSay hello then wave goodbye
\nSay hello say goodbye
\nGoodbye
\nSay goodbye
\nSay goodbye<\/p>\n
Thanks to Marc Almond and co fondly remembered for their classic tune Tainted Titles.<\/p>\n
You will hear this only once. What you are about to read is all lies and made up wind & pish<\/p>\n
When is a new company not a new company? When it\u2019s a Rangers new company stupid.<\/p>\n
So what do you make of it all? Have you laughed so much your ribs hurt? Are you walking around with a permanent grin in the pishing rain? Have you mastered a trumpet fart to Kool and the Kang\u2019s \u2018Celebration\u2019? No? Just us then.<\/p>\n
Murray & Whyte. Duff & Phelps. Doncaster & Regan. Laurel & McCoist. Great comedy duos of our time.<\/p>\n
And what of Neil Doncaster, a man so inept he\u2019d struggle to cross the road without the aid of a Lollipop lady and a drunken passing camel? We\u2019ve been informed by more than a few pished sources they have never met a more untrustworthy person in their lives. An incredible comment considering we are talking about people involved in the corrupt world of Scottish football. As much as we dislike Doncaster we hear he\u2019s only carrying out his paymasters orders. He works for the SPL clubs and reports to the SPL board. A board driven by fellows like Hibs Rod Petrie and containing Celtic\u2019s Eric Riley. Our pish stained source assures us the starting position for the SPL board was retention of New Rangers in the SPL. This included a deduction of points for several years, the loss of SPL sponsorship revenue and an acceptance of Oldco Rangers outstanding punishments.<\/p>\n
The SPL board were in our man\u2019s words \u201ccertain\u201d of this outcome but then a very strange thing occurred. The \u201cInternet Bampots\u201d representing supporters of Scotland\u2019s other 41 senior clubs were having none of this, mobilised and created Scottish football\u2019s own version of the Arab Spring. SPL fans contacted their clubs and informed them season tickets would not be renewed if Newco were parachuted into the SPL. Days and weeks passed by with more and more information of Oldco\u2019s indiscretions entering the public domain. Sandy Jardine made a fool of himself and marched to Hampden and then the folly of Duff & Phelps challenging the appellate panel\u2019s verdict through the civil courts ensuring FIFA\u2019s wrath changed the ball game. With supporters steadfast in their views and season tickets down significantly the SPL clubs were forced to change tact. We understand Aberdeen and Dundee United were the key drivers in convincing most of the other clubs bar Oldco supporter Michael Johnston to vote against Newco.<\/p>\n
Doncaster was informed of the decision and asked to do what it takes to get Newco into Division 1 as Newco in Division 3 was \u201cnot an option\u201d. A period of serious politicking and scaremongering took place with idle threats and bag of a fag packet economics thrown at SFL clubs they thought could easily be bullied. In the olden days when corner shop owners ran football clubs this was possible but SFL clubs nowadays are run by very different characters. Step forward Turnbull Hutton\u2026..we are not worthy\u2026..we are not worthy.<\/p>\n
Mr Hutton you see was an executive for Diageo. A man used to dealing at a level way beyond the pygmies of Doncaster and Regan. SFL clubs were already angry at not being given a second thought by SPL money-grabbers for years but to compound matters and threaten them to decide on something that had nothing to do with them was the final straw. Douglas Rae of Morton was early on the attack but Turnbull Hutton\u2019s interview on Radio Scotland when he tore the footballing bodies a new backside was a real eye opener and a major factor in so many SFL clubs to stand firm and advise they will be voting No to Newco in Division 1.<\/p>\n
So what of that vote? Well we hear phone calls are still taking place late into the night (Thursday) but many clubs are refusing to entertain calls. We hear the Division 3 clubs made their minds up a while ago as did virtually all Division 1 clubs. We know Doncaster backed by some SPL clubs will offer whatever it takes to get Newco into Division 1.<\/p>\n
And what next?<\/p>\n
We hear Doncaster and Regan will both be gone very soon. Expect large cheques in the post.<\/p>\n
We do know a line of SFL clubs has engaged with legal eagles and will take this to the courts if gerrymandering (played for Celtic reserves in the 80\u2019s) forces Newco in against the clubs wishes.<\/p>\n
There is also a lot of talk of a major split in Scottish football. Think BDO (oops) when it comes to the Darts world. Would Celtic seriously consider alongside Aberdeen, Dundee Utd and the majority of SPL and SFL clubs creating their own league with Newco and possibly another 9 teams in a separate entity? We think that\u2019s just plain daft but nothing would surprise us any more.<\/p>\n
Finally, for now. Watch for a vote of no confidence in Stewart Regan being raised during Friday\u2019s meeting.<\/p>\n
We know a guy who knows a guy who knows Craig Whyte. When asked what his biggest mistake was Whyte responded; \u201cI wish I\u2019d closed them in October\u201d. There will always be a seat for you at Celtic Park, Craig.<\/p>\n
Saturday August 18th<\/sup>. 3.00pm kick off at Broadwood. Clyde v Peterhead. Celtic away to Ross County that weekend probably playing early Saturday or on Sunday. Why not get along to Broadwood, pay in, and offer for some thanks to those brave people running Clyde FC?<\/p>\n We told you for ages we were talking to Craig Gordon \u2013 cannot believe we finally got one right \u2013 and he was a backup if the Forster deal didn\u2019t come to fruition. Big Frisbie didn\u2019t get the move to the EPL he craved, mainly for his England career and burd!, but is delighted to sign for Celtic. If he didn\u2019t the Gordon deal was done and dusted. Good to see we are really on the ball in terms of other options should preferred choices fall through.<\/p>\n Just where has Sir David of Moonbeams gone? Is he hiding under his oak panelled desk? Is he drinking buckfast on his private jet? Is he tied up in Jim Traynor\u2019s bedroom? We don\u2019t know where he is but we do know where he\u2019s going. Here\u2019s hoping he likes porridge.<\/p>\n And talking about the Daily Ranger (huch spit) we hear their newsroom has been in a major state of panic since Jackson made a total arse of himself with his \u2018Craig Whyte is a Billionaire\u2019 bullshit. Scotland\u2019s sports reporter of the year, we laughed to, still has an open line to Sir Moonbeams but he and that other paragon of truth Traynor have far more pressing concerns. With readership figures falling faster than Didier Drogba on a football pitch and their beloved \u2018Rangers\u2019 no longer in the top flight sales are expected to dip significantly further. We hate to see people losing their jobs but with those two we\u2019ll happily make an exception.<\/p>\n Ki is leaving it\u2019s just his departure location that has to be sorted. QPR heavily rumoured today to have agreed \u00a37m fee with Celtic but we hear Russia has come calling later in the day offering him better terms.<\/p>\n Captain Skoosh had a hernia operation after the Scotland bevvy trip to the good ol US of A but will be fighting fit for the start of the season.<\/p>\n A while back we mentioned rumours that the Police would not want Rangers anywhere below the 1st division. We took some valid eyebrow raising for that one on Twitter but with Regan claiming fears of social unrest he\u2019s clearly been talking to Plod and others.<\/p>\n Would we take a \u00a3500k bid for Kelvin Wilson?<\/p>\n Just where did the Big Man get his backing from to approach Charlie Green? Think the six counties and a variety of interesting characters with colourful backgrounds \u2013 almost said bathrooms there. Will this come out in the wash in the bathroom? Of course it won\u2019t as the Scottish media don\u2019t ask basic questions to home based Rangers men, unlike those pesky foreigners eh, but take it from us that\u2019s where it\u2019s at.<\/p>\n Man Utd have been scouting Izzy.<\/p>\n Did big Tam Rogne really fly home to pick up a new car before endeavouring to drive it all the way (it\u2019s a long bloody road) to Scotland? Tam was doing ever so well until he reached Carlisle and wrote the car off.<\/p>\n Stephen Pressley is highly rated by those running the club. Not a short-term option as Lenny has his own ideas but don\u2019t be surprised at some point in the future if he is offered a coaching role.<\/p>\n Sami attracting a lot of interest from both Spain and Italy.<\/p>\n Bocanegra won\u2019t come. We asked him.<\/p>\n What\u2019s 1.5 – 1.4?<\/p>\n A happy Kris Commons, that\u2019s what!<\/p>\n Following last years, pre-season blow out which literally saw Krissy Boy shoot up 2 dress sizes and duly get humiliated by the club doctor\\nutritionist\\dietician\\sports scientist\\quack in front of everyone including the u19s at the first training weigh-in, cue Kris’ collapse in confidence and a long slow road back before he was ready to hit the ground and actually do some running. After coming back to some form at the end of the season, Commons has been keeping trim during summer clocking only 1lb over his playing weight and is really ready to go. Looks like James Forrest will actually have some competition this year?<\/p>\n We hear 2 loan signings expected. One a centre back in addition to our known interest in Bordeaux\u2019s centre back.<\/p>\n Have you seen how wonderful the area containing the velodrome and indoor sports arena facing Celtic Park is looking? It\u2019s magnificent. Even better news is a several million pounds has been put aside from a central government fund to totally landscape and clean up the area in advance of the Commonwealth games. Who\u2019d have thunk it?<\/p>\n By the way with the shenanigans over at Ibrox lots of rumours doing the rounds Celtic Park will now be hosting the Commonwealth Games Rugby 7\u2019s.<\/p>\n This made us laugh. Interviewer approaches random man in street for views on football\u2026..<\/p>\n