{"id":18982,"date":"2025-06-06T07:17:55","date_gmt":"2025-06-06T06:17:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=18982"},"modified":"2025-06-06T07:17:55","modified_gmt":"2025-06-06T06:17:55","slug":"celtic-diary-friday-june-6-2025-you-have-to-laugh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/etims.net\/?p=18982","title":{"rendered":"Celtic Diary Friday June 6 2025: You Have To Laugh"},"content":{"rendered":"

According to the EPL index, Brentford are preparing a bid for Nicolas Kuhn, because they are selling Bryan Mbeumo. No, I’ve never heard of him either, but he must be worth a bob or two. Everyone is in that league.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Which is why despite enormous earnings, nearly all of the clubs are in debt, and their only ambition is to remain on the gravy train.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We’ll see if Kuhn has similar ambitions if a bid should surface.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Meanwhile, over at the Daily Record, there’s this….<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Greg Taylor cover broken amid Celtic transfer wait as Kvistgaarden emphatic amid \u00a37.5m payday roadblock<\/h1>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know what all those words mean, but fair play to the sub editor who managed to arrange them in a way that they make no sense whatsoever.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still, these word puzzles are quite popular these days, so I’ll have a go and see if the text is better put together.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mark Pirie, the hack, explains…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

PAOK technical director\u00a0Christos Karipidis has lifted the lid on talks with\u00a0Greg Taylor<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What did he say ?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“We are simply awaiting the formal part.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, that clears that up. Presumably, it means they’ve made an offer to the player and he said he’ll get back to them.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pirie then goes on to talk about Matthias Kvistgaarten, who is leaving Brondby. Who it seems is on the Rodgers Radar<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I think I’m ready. I’ve made my mark at Brondby and in the Superliga, so I’m ready to take the next step.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well. That, er, clears that up then.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Luis Palma, remember him, has finished his loan spell at Olympiakos, and Pirie claims;<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

despite Olympiacos will not pick up the \u00a33.5million option-to-buy in\u00a0Luis Palma<\/a>‘s loan\u00a0El Heraldo report that the player’s representatives are looking for “a route out of Celtic” permanently this summer.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I think something is getting cleared up here, but it’s not the text itself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gustav Lagerbielke, who was on loan at Twente ? Pirie reports that someone else has said there’s a “good chance<\/em>” he will return to Glasgow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Daily Record. It won’t be long before I can say my circulation is better than theirs. And I’m on blood thinning tablets.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As we pointed out earleir this week, the club have brought out some more tat to help us on the path to destitution….<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We are thrilled to reveal the brand\u00a0new Celtic FC x adidas Originals Samba trainers<\/a>, available to buy in store and online today.<\/em><\/p>\n

The white shoes feature green T-toes as well as the iconic serrated 3-Stripes, plus the club crest proudly displayed on the tongue.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Born on the pitch, the Samba is a timeless icon of street style. These shoes stay true to their legacy with a soft leather upper and suede overlays.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Is everyone just chucking words together and hoping they make sense, he said, completely lacking in self awareness?<\/p>\n

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The pictures aren’t much better…has no one told them you’re supposed to use them to kick a ball, and not your mate?<\/p>\n

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\"Celtic<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Available in a wide range of sizes from 3 through to 13 with a selection of half-sizes too,\u00a0you can buy online now<\/a> and in official Celtic stores.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Out of curiosity, I had to look….<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

adidas Celtic Originals 2025 Samba Shoes<\/h2>\n
\n
<\/p>\n
\n
Regular price <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a3100\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
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\"Fuck<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0A hundred notes for a pair of sannies?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
At least, i think you get a pair. Knowing our beloved club, it’s probably \u00a3100 each.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0And they can’t even be that good, as already people have flung them off in disgust and just left them lying around….<\/div>\n

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\"Celtic<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

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This guy put his on, and now he’s hiding behind some old container trying to get them off….<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

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The shoes are probably fine, but why release them on a day when the entire marketing department is on holiday ?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Couldn’t they have left a note to help whoever put this campaign together not to make an arse of it ?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still , if you think our marketing department leaves something to be desired, like marketing people, for instance, it’s probably ahead of our friends over the river, who announced another manager yesterday.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rangers Confirm Russell Martin As Head Coach<\/h1>\n

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Confirm ? They really do have catholic owners now.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And as for his unveiling…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Rangers<\/p>\n

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You’ll note the cloth draped over the table, which was purposely to hide his lack of staunch brown brogues.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Martin told the hordes…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0“It is a privilege to be named Head Coach of Rangers Football Club at the beginning of this exciting new chapter.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I know what this club demands. From my time here, I had a taste of how special this club is, the expectation, the passion and the history. Now, as I return, I\u2019m determined to bring success back, for the supporters, the players, and everyone inside this club.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n
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I\u2019m here to set standards, work hard and do my very best to earn the respect of the Rangers fans.\u00a0<\/em><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
If you don’t count forgetting his brogues.<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

“There\u2019s a lot to be done, but the goal is clear: win matches, win trophies, and give Rangers fans a team that they can be proud of. We want to play with bravery, to take the ball, to be aggressive, and to stand up in the big moments.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Good luck with that squad of wet wipes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Preparations for pre-season are already underway. I look forward to meeting the players and building a squad that our fans can believe in.”\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rangers Chief Executive Officer, Patrick Stewart, who led the search along with Kevin Thelwell, commented:<\/strong> \u201cOur criteria for our next coach were clear: we wanted a coach who will excel in terms of how we want to play, improve our culture, develop our squad, and ultimately win matches. Russell was the standout candidate.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One can only ponder in wonder at how bloody useless the others were. When we asked Mr Stewart he was reluctant to go into detail.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Unification,<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

\u201cThis appointment is about building a winning team and a strong culture. He is no stranger to our club, we expect success and Russell knows that. We are excited for his leadership.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rangers Sporting Director, Kevin Thelwell added:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cThrough the many conversations Patrick and I have had with Russell in recent weeks, he has emerged as the outstanding candidate.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cRussell comes to Rangers with hard-earned experience. His time in the Premier League has sharpened his approach, both tactically and personally. He\u2019s better for it, and we believe that will translate into the kind of leadership and performance our supporters expect.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n
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His teams play dominant football, they control the ball, dictate the tempo and impose themselves physically. They press aggressively and work relentlessly off the ball. These are all characteristics that we believe are required to be successful at home, away, and abroad.\u00a0<\/em><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
No, they don’t..<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"Russell<\/div>\n

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\u201cWe\u2019re looking forward to getting to work with Russell immediately as we prepare for a demanding and important season ahead.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Rangers Chairman, Andrew Cavenagh, continued:\u00a0<\/strong>\u201cI am delighted to welcome Russell to Rangers. This was a thorough, rigorous process and Russell impressed throughout. His appointment embodies the club\u2019s goal of attracting top talent, empowering them, and supporting them.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWe believe that Russell can improve on-pitch performance while also helping build the culture and infrastructure necessary for consistent and long-term success.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, presumably.<\/p>\n

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Ach, we wish him well.<\/p>\n

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He’s signed a three season deal, which we hear covers summer, autumn and winter.<\/p>\n

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But let’s extend a warm welcome, and offer the hand of friendship.<\/p>\n

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It’s Friday, and that means we can award him not one, but two trophies, his first and his last.<\/p>\n

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Pictured here in the hands of multiple winner Keith Jackson of the Record, it’s the<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"knob<\/p>\n

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Well done , Russell<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Onwards and upwards.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We hear he woke up this morning, after a day on the beer, and said to his wife;<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

” I hope I didn’t do anything stupid yesterday “<\/em><\/p>\n

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Yesterday, we had this…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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\"Image\"<\/p>\n

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\n
corrupt official<\/em><\/div>\n
\u00a021 hours ago<\/em><\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Sevco roll out their radical new player fitness machine, developed by scientific experts in the field of heidless chickens.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Today…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Image\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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