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Celtic Diary Wednesday August 31: Brendan Swings The Bat As Cull Continues

There’s little doubt who’s running the show these days when it comes to players joining Celtic, players leaving Celtic and players playing for Celtic.

Peter Lawwell and john Park may have been working late at Celtic Park last night, and they may have a long day at the office today as well, but in the space of just a few months the team left behind by Ronny Deila has all but been eradicated.

Sure there’s still a few key players left, but with the promised transfer kitty of anything between 15 and 30 million pounds still to be spent, depending on who you believe, only James Forrest, Leigh Griffiths and Keiran Tierney look like surviving the cull.

Kristoffer Ajer and Erik Sviatchenko aren’t really Deila players, since the Norwegian had long since lost interest in Celtic when they arrived, despite the spin that the two were chosen by him.

And Patrick Roberts isn’t ours yet, and therefore we can’t sell him. Neither do we need to buy him yet , we can still borrow him for another twelve months, by which time he might be even happier and more settled here…

Then there’s  Jozo Simunovic, who looks like he’s joining Torino after all, and for those of you wondering why Celtic are not making money on him, regular reader Carl Jungle Bhoy might have spotted something.. from the Express a while back..

Celtic’s Jozo Simunovic: I had no idea about dodgy

transfer dealings at Dinamo Zagreb

The final deal was variously reported as costing Celtic between £3.5million and £5m, with Dinamo boasting about a healthy sell-on clause should the player ever move on from Parkhead. 

Perhaps the sale of a man to Celtic  with a dodgy injury record-although Celtic should have spotted this-has prompted the board to send a massive “fuck you ” to Dinamo and anyone else thinking of selling us any more glass backed duds. It’s not the first time, is it ?

As you can imagine, a lot of gossip has come our way over the last couple of days, and its intensifying by the hour. Theres talk that Stuart Armstrong, Efe Ambrose-remember him?- Liam Henderson, Nadir Ciftci, Kris Commons and Gary Mackay Steven will all be reading a different local paper by the end of the week, whilst Dedryck Boyata has locked himself in the toilet and won’t come out until after midnight, hoping everyone has forgotten about him.

Stefan Johansen , of course, has already gone.

And if you believe the stories that the next signings are to be central midfielders, then Nir Biton might as well leave his phone on.

Already here are Scott Sinclair, Kolo Toure, Dorus de Vries, Moussa Dembele and now Cristian Gamboa, who looks rather happy to be away from West Bromwich..

Enough to be going on with, one would think, but rodgers seems to have other ideas.

Other names linked with Celtic are going from the sublime to the ridiculous,

Arsenals Jack Wilshire on loan ? Unlikely, Rodgers doesn’t seem to want players on loan. Unless they are top drawer, and unless there is a chance of a permanent move later on.

Fabregas ? Xavi ? McGinn? Schweinsteiger ? Balotelli ?

Celtic are in talks with some names that will surprise us from clubs that will astonish us, and there is money there, so perhaps it might be worth keeping an eye on developments as the day goes on.

Looks like we might finally be pulling out of the slow lane….

One name who might be arriving, although by the time you read this he might have gone somewhere else, is Anderson Hernanes, the Brazilian playmaker now surplus to requirements at Juventus.

Celtic need someone who can make things happen from the centre, someone who has experience at the top level, and above all, someone who is comfortable wearing pink;

Image result for anderson hernanes juventus

Thinks of everything, does our Brendan.

Anyone else been mentioned ?

Yeah.

We’ve to expect a “huge ” signing,

Image result for nacho novo glentoran

no, no, even bigger than “Chunks ” Novo

Image result for derek johnstone rangers

Hang on, how big do you think the doors are at Celtic Park ?

No, we meant big in a footballing legend sort of way..

Look,  at the very least, we’ll be told we nearly made a huge signing, but couldn’t get it over the line due to agents and the unwillingness for the player to live in Glasgows less than tropical climate.

Truth is, we won’t get the headline grabbing signature we really want because Warbs has taken Travs phone off him, so we can’t get in touch with the man compared to both Lubomir Moravcik and Danny McGrain, but not favourably.

And Barrie Mackays move depends on whether or not Gary Mackay Steven is prepared to go on loan….to “rangers ” !

Whilst Celtic expect to grab all the headlines today, its going to be tought for Level 5 , the PR company with the unenviable task of making “rangers ” seem both relevant and solvent, with Martin Waghorn (pen ) having been told he can leave Ibrox now that Joe Garner ( booked ) is on the scene.

Clearly Warbs hasn’t thought this through, because as Garner excels at falling over, and the Ibrox Ibrahimovic is deadly from twelve yards, they could have formed the best partnership to come out of Ibrox since Duff and Phelps.

Bristol City are interested, and when they’ve finished laughing at “rangers’s ” valuation, they’ll table a bid of around £1m, which isn’t bad for a man who has played minimal top class football.

So, to try and grab a few headlines to make the support look the other way, its time to have a go at the SFA again, in what looks more and more like a pre orchestrated row to make it look like the  original press release , where “rangers ” players were beaten, raped and left for dead by Hibernian fans , after the cup final back in may, appear to have some truth in it.

Which it doesn’t.

Hibs won 3-2, by the way.

To clarify, the Record, on behalf of “rangers “, are calling the SFA a laughing stock.

Unbelievable.

Gary Ralston, not noted for his objectivity, is pushing the myth that “rangers ” players were attacked, which, of course, has since been denied by, er, “rangers ” players wives and frankly anyone  who saw what happened.

Its quite odd that investigative journalist Ralston should be involved in this nonsense, as he  also wrote a book about the Gallant Pioneers, the men who formed the original Rangers, outing the men who previously had avoided responsibilty for their crime.

Fair play to the Record. In a combined attempt to keep both instituions relevant and solvent, they ran with this today…

Transfer Deadline Day live with Celtic and Rangers done deals plus

every single move in the SPFL and England

One wonders of even the most gullible of the gullibillies really expects anything to happen down their way today, despite their £30m warchest being roughly equivalent to the money Celtic are reputed to be ready to spend, now that UCL qualification has been achieved, and Lawwell has said Brendan can go shopping with it.

Will we be staying up until midnight reading tweets and posts from supporters hanging round Celtic Park ?

Why not ?

Even if nothing is done today, at least we’re at the stage now where we think there might be, and there is a buzz returning to the club. Rodgers has come in, looked around, and changed the furniture about a bit, and more importantly, he’sthe one with his hands on the remote control.

Yesterdays caption competition, in a unique first, ( all firsts are unique -Ed ) was won by someone from another site, Twitter, who explained that purple is an even worse colour for a Celtic top than blue, and why….

Purple is a ‘royal’ color because it was the hardest dye to extract—it came from sea snails, so only the royalty could afford it.

What are New Balance doing to our brand ? And why are we letting them ?

Today, lets lighten it up a bit, with this picture, which needs an explanation as well…

 

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7 years ago

Caption: “rangers” post photographic evidence of why Joleon Lescott failed his medical, citing the onset of varicose veins.

Bgbhoy
7 years ago

*****one time offer****** David Murrays pickled legs. Two for a pouuuuuuuund. Two for a pouuuuuuuuund. (Jar not provided)

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Bgbhoy

🙂

Charlie Saiz
7 years ago
Reply to  Bgbhoy

That’s a belter 🙂

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

Strange that, you pulled me up the other day for David Murray jibes??

Charlie Saiz
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Why was Bg having a go at someone doing something similar?
I was merely highlighting your hypocrisy Monti.

jimmybee
7 years ago

Caption: Calling Mr Vein.
Caption : Your so vein you really think this blog is about you don’t you.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

🙂

jimmybee
7 years ago

Yer orange and blue fuck yer purple too.
Yellow or all Green goalie strips.
Betcha john Clark is not impressed.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Jimmybee,
Bang on m8, The Celtic goalkeeper should be yellow or Emerald Green!

Monti
7 years ago

Caption: Is that the ‘ big man ‘ from ‘ Chewin the fat ‘?

Monti
7 years ago

Caption!: Official Prison Photo of Oscar Pistorius arrival at prison!

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

….handgun just out of shot!

CarlJungleBhoy
7 years ago

Caption: Evidence emerges that completion of Phillippe Senderos’s medical has been delayed further due to alien invasion at Ross Hall hospital

Monti
7 years ago

Got to say i will be a bit disappointed of we don’t make a signing today, there must be players at big clubs throughout Europe who are on tbe peri, perif,….on the edges of their squads, we can offer CL football so no excuses!
I would offer Bastien Schweinsteiger a one year deal!
Germany still play the guy for heavens sake, just get it done Celtic!

Joe
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Schweinsteiger retired from international football after the Euros.

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Joe

And up he pops again,joe the pop up ad.,he jumped out from behind the sofa,sogood,hes behind yoo.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Joe

Joe,
Even more reason to sign him then, he won’t have international commitments!!

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Either!

Monti
7 years ago

Caption! Lee Wallace shows tb effects of chasing Gamboa for 90 mins……on grass!

IRISHGUY
7 years ago

Caption………

Warburtons Mystery Signing ?

Devoy45
7 years ago

Caption: “New evidence emerges of Roswell alien crash…”
Caption: “Mike tries on new pair of Dundonian walking shorts…”
Caption: “Simunovic undergoes Torino medical…”

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Ahoy, Devoy,i am discovering the discovery at the Dundee Docks, did yoo see my post yesterday about your ancester,im telt that yoo look just like him,without the beardie thing.
What a guy,courageous, intelligent a true leader of men,what an honour to be related to him,an insperation to us all.

CarlJungleBhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Ross Hall? 🙂

Guigsybhoy
7 years ago

Caption: “Lee Wallace is a grass”

Honest Hoops
7 years ago

Caption; Gazza proves to rehab that there is still life in those old legs….

7 years ago

Bgbhoy,Quality, has to be a winner..HH

Oztim67
7 years ago

Caption: “rangers” could only afford half a player before the window closed. The legs have it.

JIMBO
7 years ago

I’ve been crying out for a creative midfielder for 10 years at least … but I think I’m going to change my stance, we need a box-to-box play who is equally good defending as moving the ball forward, we have pace and creative players on both flanks and options up front, so offensively we’re look good.

A Paul Lambert esq type, another Paul McStay anywhere ???

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  JIMBO

Schweinsteiger m8!
Sitting in front of the defence, in the bunker if you like 🙂

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Sounds mair like yoo,bunker bhoy,

And here we have it its the sound of the sixties,67 the best,best year of our lives.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mike, you should show your fellow Dundonians the caption pic, they can’t remember what a vein looks like 🙂

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Ha.Ha.Ha.

If i had a pair of legs like them,nobody but nobody would be taking pictures of them,i think its a Ralphy Selfie.HE.HE.

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  JIMBO

Jimbo, ive been crying out for Sussana Hosanna Reid for years,but————————–.and its a braw butt.

mike
7 years ago

Great article Ralphy,Winner,Winner,Winner.

Caption,
Its Jake the peg,diddle-iddle-um,
with the missing bum,diddle-iddle-um,
hes lost his middle leg yoo ken,diddle-iddle-um,
but found an extra finger and thum,diddle-iddle-um.

Monti
7 years ago

Caption! Sevco 5088 over invest in Portuguese ‘ wonderkid ‘ deepvein throm bosis!

Paul1888
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Over invest and Sevco 5088 in the same sentence… 🙂

HH

Monti
7 years ago

Could someone put up a track by 2pac shakur ‘ To live and die in LA ‘

I’m feeling good man!

7 years ago

FFS get yer troozerz on.you,ll get mugged for those veins in Govan Senderos.HH

7 years ago

Sevco New Deadline Signing.Mabozuvgotanitch

mr greene
7 years ago

Caption .

Kenny Miller – “That cream really works , My legs look as good now as they did when I was twenty ” .

The Holy Poet
7 years ago

Brilliant post as always Ralph. Waiting for doctor re prolapsed disc and laughing away to myself. If the goofies don’t work, ETIMS will.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  The Holy Poet

Holy poet,
You’ll be fine m8, just remember Jim White delivering the following on SSN ” Rangers football club has entered administration ”

What a day!

charlie
7 years ago

caption walters wife wins the louden beautiful legs competition

Delbhoy
7 years ago

Hernanes is exactly what we need , ihope there is truth in this story and we do manage to bring him in for that midfield

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Delbhoy

Del, if we need him we will get him,especially if he likes golf and bracing weather,mibbee its to hot in Italy,HA.HA.

charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  Delbhoy

del only seen him on you tube but he looks some player sees a pass isny scared ae a tackle and strikes the baw like naka heel do if thats who brendan wants but better tell the bhoys to get oot his way when he scores thats some goal celebration ha ha

Greenmaestro
7 years ago

Brendan Rodgers reveals the new map to the Celtic treatment room. Just follow the blue line.

Albert_kidd
7 years ago

I tried to come up with a caption, but my efforts were in vein.

mike
7 years ago

I think that Brendan has brought in that Squid fur forty quid,
Paul the octypussy (and we all luv a bit of pussy,pussy cat ive got flowers and lots of hours to spend with yoo,GGGGRRRRR).
To predict results,a mesonic messiah,well every little bit helps,funny hand shakes as well.

Delbhoy
7 years ago

Is that right simunovic failed the medical? , he is an all rounder and brazil international. Top drawer charlie lets hope he likes golf charlie haha this guy wouldnt entertain us if it wasnt for the champions league, just shows how important it is

jimmybee
7 years ago
Reply to  Delbhoy

Delbhoy wouldn’t be surprised m8 if he failed his medical. He cant be anywhere near fit and that injury was a bad one.

charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  Delbhoy

del the reports ae simo failing the medical are fae zagreb ralph might be right about them mixing it

Anton
7 years ago

Journalists legs after trying to track down Warburton for post match interview after anihillation from Celtic

Monti
7 years ago

Simunovic has failed his medical at Torino!

JIMBO
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

He is a class act, IF he can stay fit will be worth 10M this time next year

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  JIMBO

Jimbo,
I concur!

Charlie Saiz
7 years ago
Reply to  JIMBO

Have you seen that video of his passing at Celtic?
He makes Last years Broonie look like Pirlo

Charlie Saiz
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

lol very good Fred 😉

JIMBO
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

ALSO a proper Center Defender … has pace, tackles and good in the air … We are lacking pace in the middle at the mom, can’t rely on the full backs to cover, if they are being asked to overlap.

COYBIG

Charlie Saiz
7 years ago
Reply to  JIMBO

That’s why I believe Brendan will be deploying 3 at the back more often now Gamboa is signed.
He can push both WB’s up and still have insurance.

3-4-3

……….KEEPER
.
..LUSTIG TOURE SVIATCHENKO

GAMBOA BROWN ROGIC TIERNEY
.
..ROBERTS GRIFFITHS SINCLAIR

Jimbo
7 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

Maybe in some SPFL games but the midfield would be overrun in European games.

Charlie Saiz
7 years ago
Reply to  Jimbo

Europe is a different matter altogether we should be sticking with 4-2-3-1 for 5 of the 6 games in the CL and only altering it for the home game v BMG IMO.

Delbhoy
7 years ago

Good he gets the chance to grt fit and show what he can do

Doc
7 years ago

Caption: New sevco centre half Methuselah undergos his medical.

Monti
7 years ago

Celtic in advanced talks with Kyle Lafferty…..Celtic have been doing most of the talking as Kyle can’t string a sentence together!
This one could run and run…….

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

Its the Talking Baws webshite,pity Laffaminute canny.

Monti
7 years ago

BREAKING NEWS!
Celtic in discussions with …………….no one 🙂

m1kks
7 years ago

Caption

Gary Ralston straining to hold in all the shite that he talks!

bgbhoy
7 years ago

cesc fabregas on a season long loan? yes please god, make it happen

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

What’s this young man?

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  Monti

heard fabregas on a season long loan, the van der vaart shout was someone at work on my pc, swift boot to the goolies handed out

bgbhoy
7 years ago

van der vaart!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bgbhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

not true

portpower
7 years ago

I still can`t effin believe it Ghirls and Bhoys.

We`re in thy UCL qualifications.

O`Happy days,
O`Happy days.

portpower
7 years ago
Reply to  portpower

Caption:

Bandy-legged varisevcosities fit for service. Aye Unstinting

sevco intramembranous ossification FC.

charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  portpower

portpower aint life grand and like oor conor mc gregor says were no here to take part were here to take over

charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  charlie

ha ha

portpower
7 years ago
Reply to  charlie

I`ll just leave this here Charlie.

Gotta love wee reminders.

comment image

charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  portpower

port ha ha is that the bus ally saw the celtic supporters set fire tae

mike
7 years ago

A big big Parks bus has just arrived at Celtic Park,to transfer Peter Lawwells signings to the Dusty Bin, a tic firesale of the crippled,injured and incontinent are on display at the moment before being set free to the rest of the SPL.its understood that thems have been bartering all day,to see if they can obtain three for a pouwnd.But its understood that the threepenny bit signing on fee,is a ball breaker.

Mike Annis
7 years ago

Rangers in vein hope to sign Mr Universe 1975

portpower
7 years ago

Caption:

sevconian players suffering again from
Submarine Sunday decompression sickness.

mike
7 years ago

Jozo deal reportedly back on,he never failed the medical.

The McCarthy deal apparently was never on.
They canny give Effy away nobody wants him so in the last year of his contract,please release me let me go go ,cos nabdy luvs me anymair.

portpower
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Jonathan Sutherland ‏@BBCjsutherland 51m51 minutes ago Glasgow, Scotland

Just to confirm, Jozo Simunovic passed his medical with Torino. Talks continue over his transfer from Celtic

Rumour:

James McCarthy will be a Celtic player before tonight’s deadline. 1year loan deal, option to buy.
Celtic offered 9m ??????

Half_Fool
7 years ago

Caption:

A vein attempt for 200 quid

Half_Fool
7 years ago

Caption:

Andy Goram OD’s on Viagra
(again)

Half_Fool
7 years ago

Caption:

Sir Succulent of Lamb gets his legs back from the pawn shop

portpower
7 years ago

The man to follow about transfers………

https://twitter.com/OHenleyAlex

portpower
7 years ago

Charlie Mulgrew has joined Blackburn Rovers.

Thank you and all the best Charlie.

I wonder if #55 on his Rovers strip was in is contract. 🙂

comment image

charlie
7 years ago
Reply to  portpower

looks like charlie hunskelper mulgrew wanted wan mer skelp

bgbhoy
7 years ago

so no money spent again then, more brought in than out

pathetic

Half_Fool
7 years ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

That’s our board – bunch of merchant bankers to the end

jimmybee
7 years ago

Its not over yet bhoys

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