Celtic Diary Thursday October 11

Speculation around Celtic players ready to leave the club continues, though its important to differentiate between the absolute bollocks on supporters websites, which tends to be merely wishful thinking, and the well informed snippets that come from the press. Or did i get that the wrong way round?

An Everton website has Davie Moyes interested in taking Gary Hooper to Goodison in “a cut price deal” as the player is ready to step up to the EPL and “he could be available on the cheap, with Celtic not being too flush in the finance department.”

No matter what other drivel surfaces between now and January, that one is going to take some beating.

The news we all dreaded has filtered through, Neil Lennon says his players are relishing the upcoming World cup qualifier between Wales and Scotland. Lennon says

“I am thinking of going down to the game, but I don’t know if thats a good idea or not.” Lets face it, its a bad enough idea letting the players go to the game. “There was plenty of banter flying around, but I hope there is not too much fur flying around at the game. It will be tasty, thats for sure.”

Fur? As in Fur fux sake stop kicking each other?

When asked about the outcome of the game, Lennon diplomatically replied that he is “sitting on the fence” Great, thats while each and every Celtic fan sits behind the couch, feeling every tackle.

Theres no doubt Lennon will be worried about injuries, but hopefully the only thing hurt will be someones pride. You can see the game on Sky sports, or watch Emmerdale or something if its on.

Neil Doncaster, one of the comedy duo who forecast armageddon if cheating tax dodgers Rangers were not allowed to get away with it, has admitted that the worst case scenario he outlined hasn’t happened.

“We’ve had to re-invent ourselves, but thats happened pretty quickly and clubs have adapted” We? All he did was charge around predicting the end of days! Orwell himself couldn’t have scripted this Doublespeak any better. It should come as no surprise, and no doubt he has a few tricks up his sleeve to make things even better. Resignation? Emigration? Suicide?

The only things the events of last summer proved are that Doncaster is incapable, and the clubs can run the game amongst themselves.

One club that couldn’t run itself was the old Rangers, who under their latest guise are about to enter the Alternative Investment Market. Now, not being of a financial background, its difficult to explain what an “alternative” market could be, but if its along the lines of alternative comedy, then it will be a roaring success. In fact, after five o’clock today, googling rangersshareoffer will allow their supporters to register interest, and from that interest in the club can be estimated.

Now, its completely and fundamentally wrong to register for these sort of things, and wholly irresponsible for anyone to pledge thousands of pounds they don’t have “for a laugh” -so don’t even think about doing it. After five o’clock.

Apparently, the funds raised, and they expect £20m, will be used for “strengthening the player squad, improving the clubs properties and facilities, providing additional working capital, and paying off that fat, useless bastard of a manager.” BDO, Hector and thousands of creditors are open mouthed at the audacity, but their day will come.

Especially when this statement comes back to bite them in the arse

“Rangers is debt free and a huge club with enormous support and a 140 year track record of success on the domestic and international arenas ( sic). Our aim is to return the club to its glory days whilst ensuring it is run efficiently and profitably.”

Woolworths, Enron and other big companies who went under must be kicking themselves they never had Charles Green to help them out of a fix. Oh, and no doubt all those other clubs throughout Europe who are heavily in debt will be queuing up to hire him to do the same for them. Oh, except , of course, its just ever so slightly against the law.

With the row over muslim players being told not to wear shirts advertising wonga.com, a firm who deal in short term loans for people who can’t afford them, Hearts boss John McGlynn has told his players, who have the same sponsor, to forget all about it and just go out and give 4000%

The Celtic player with the most caps for his country is Pat Bonnar, -never said anything about Scotland, and sticking with an international theme, how many of the Lisbon Lions are in the fifty cap hall of fame?

Congrats to steveo who was first with the answer, but special mention to Tony P who added that Paul McStay, who i thought would be the trap you’d fall into, is the most capped Scottish player.

The podcast is still on the front page, to be listened to at your leisure, and the picture of Keevins is available on request if anyone needs a copy to keep the kids away from the fireplace.