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Celtic Diary Tuesday May 31: Season Books And Kazim Richards Fly Out.

 

You’ve got until five o’clock today to renew, otherwise you’ll have to sit somewhere else, and the way the season books are flying out, that seat might well be in front of the telly !

I do believe i may just have added ten thousand books to the total and forced a board meeting to discuss the expansion of the south stand.

 

The Summer Sale continued at Celtic Park as Colin Kazim Richards looks set to follow in the footsteps of Carlton Cole and Stefan Scepovic  as he has attracted interest from Brazil.

The club concerned, Coritiba-no, I hadn’t either- have already spoken to him, and he’s due out there today. Their director of Football, Valdir Barbosa, said;

‘We conducted an interview with Colin Kazim-Richards, ‘He will be in Coritiba on Tuesday and his Brazilian wife wants him to wear the uniform here.

‘He is a very experienced international player and we hope to close the deal. We had a reference from Alex who played with him in Turkey.’

No, I don’t know who Alex is either, but he’s done us a favour, and done the player a favour. I think the term is mutual consent.

Kazim Richards did try, and did put a bit of steel into an otherwise lightweight team, but he isn’t very good. And anyway, he allegedly thumped someone at the Player of the Year do, and also went for John Collins as well, not on the same night though.

Or maybe he did.

Mind you, as the leader picture shows, they were trying to get his shirt back almost immediately, so he was never really going to be here long.

Other players who have threatened John Collins have also left the club, but some had threatened after they were made to leave.

Just repeating what we heard, even though there is obviously no truth in it.

I’ve heard doing that wins you awards, and not just Knob of the Week.

By the way, if anyone knows photoshopping , give me a shout. you probably can see what I’m thinking.

 

Dedryk Boyata has torn his hamstring, and won’t be going to the euros with Belguim. His international manager , Marc Wilmots announced this with all the emotion of a man asking for a coffee in MacDonalds.

‘Dedryck suffered a severe injury in training and I don’t think he will be ready in time for the finals.

‘I am no doctor but we believe it’s a recurrence of his hamstring tear and we can put a cross next to his name.

‘Unfortunately, he will not be included in the 23. It is very bad for him. We think he will be out for six weeks.’ 

Its bad for Celtic , too, as most of us were hoping he’d have a couple of good games and some daft bugger would bid millions for him,

Still, at least he’ll be ready for the UCL qualifiers. Fucking hooray.

By the way, here’s the list for round two….

Fankaty Dabo… Kolo Toure….Will Gregg…the list of new players goes on and on without a single shred of evidence , or even pish stained comment to back them up.

Mind you, that Will Grigg is on fire…

The ones we’ve heard the most about are Steven Gerrard and Zlatan Ibrahimovic, and we made them up.

Or did we…..?

 

Someone who will definitely be here is Kristoffer Ajer, the next big thing to come out of Norway. Whereas the Record were happy to trumpet the fact his side Start were hammered 5-0 in his last game, their attempt to play down the ability of Ajer is almost laughable…

KRISTOFFER AJER reckons the only way is up with Celtic after the humiliation of his last game in Norway.

The new signing from IK Start arrives in Glasgow next month desperate to get over the 5-0 rout from Billy McKinlay’s Stabaek, that could even save the Scots coach’s job, to make it 28 league games without a win.


Astonishingly, it is 28 games since Start last won a game in the league, back in August last year. 

Have we signed a dud ?

The Norwegian clubs fans don’t seem to think so, as they gave Ajer a fond farewell…

IK Start fans display a banner thanking Celtic-bound Kristoffer Ajer on his final game

” You came a boy, you leave a man. ”

If only he was a proven professional, from , say Accrington or somewhere….

Anyway, have a look at a Norwegian article on the lad. You’ll probably feel better about him.

Ajer article

Someone who didn’t come, although he wanted to is Neil Lennon, who is keeping his name in the papers in case anyone is looking for a manager;

“I wasn’t hurt, no. Disappointed, yes. What’s for you can’t go by you. I need to look at something else now and get a new challenge.

“It wasn’t really an interview, it was more like meeting up again. We just chatted things through about the team and the club and what they would need to take it forward again.

“After the Bolton experience it would have to be the right job. I’ve got plenty to offer. Celtic appealed to me, but they have picked a really good candidate in Brendan, he’s a great manager, so we will see what happens in the future.”

I’m sure he’ll be on hand to offer help and advice during the season every time a newspaper needs a soundbite.

 

CQN last night revealed that the Resolution 12 advert, set to go live this week, in the Guardian and in a Swiss newspaper had been the subject of discussion with the Herald group, who carried the last statement from Celtic fans in an ad, the same club one of some time ago.

The CQN article , currently unavailable-page not found- says that the Group had said they were not going to carry this advert, but wanted some of the text anyway, presumably to feature in a news story, should any of their writers ever grow a set of balls.

At least, I think thats what it meant. I’m not too sure.

Despite what you may have seen, heard or read, the resolution is not dead.

Other commentators on non celtic sites are simply fishing for reaction and information when they tell us its over……

But, hey lads, be careful out there…

Another legnedary poster from the fans who don’t care what others think about them, unless its bad.

As in the case of Irish Post reporter Rachel Lynch, never afraid to speak her mind, became the latest to be hounded, abused and vilified on twitter.

You’ll note its only the women who get abused, which may suggest a pattern, although it may just be that they are the only ones with balls in the world of scottish sports reporting.

So to speak.

And another article from Keith Jackson, and the tweet promoting it  certainly made me smile.

Monday column: Time to wash our hands of the Hampden hatefest  

Having been stung, either knowingly or unknowingly by the nonsense spouted from ibrox and repeated in his name, i’m sure he does want to wash his hands of it and move on…

 

Speaking of smiling, read this, and i defy you not to smile, but in a different way…

Well respected French football magazine So Foot have compiled a list of what they think are the top ten supporters bases in world football. It’s a different list and doesn’t contain some of names which perhaps would be expected, but Celtic do well to come third and are the only British club in the list.

Not one Premier League side makes the top ten and it could be that So Foot thinks fans south of the border have become too sanitised and, well, quiet.

‘There are still a few forums where it is good to follow football, with passionate fans wearing jerseys and scarves, continuous songs…’

The So Foot top ten is:

1. Boca Juniors (Argentina)
2. Borussia Dortmund (Germany)
3. Celtic Glasgow (Scotland)
4. Raja Casablanca (Morocco)
5. Napoli (Italy)
6. Galatasaray (Turkey)
7. Athletic Club Bilbao (Spain)
8. Red Star (Serbia)
9. Urawa Red Diamonds (Japan)
10. Saint-Etienne (France)

With regard to Celtic, the magazine say about You’ll Never Walk Alone “If this hymn is adored by “Scousers” of Liverpool, at Celtic Park in Glasgow they have a cappella version which is better.”

So Foot also praise the highly charged atmosphere and say that the eyes of Celtic fans go red with emotion. Celtic fans often receive praise around Europe for their travelling fans in the Champions League and Celtic Park is a fearful destination even for the very best teams in the world. 

The Etims night out  ? groupies ? For sheer optimism susan murphy wins the Caption competition again…

 

whereas today….from our guest publication Practical Parenting, we have this…

working mom

 

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Bigdunno
7 years ago

Caption: Charlie Mulgrew’s Mrs realises that it’s stupid to leave your kids in the Costco car park.

K-Dhogg
7 years ago

what’s your email address ralph? got a photoshopped pic to send 😉

jimmybee
7 years ago

Caption Warburton has finally been found.

salad gueen
7 years ago

Under the desk and under age in the bookies.

Cortes
7 years ago

“Shaun Maloney rests after Wembley play off”

Monti
7 years ago

Caption: Big trouble in little China!

CarlJungleBhoy
7 years ago

BTW Alex is that Brazilian who used to play for PSV & Chelsea –
SmartAlex Shamnrock CSC

CarlJungleBhoy
7 years ago

Caption: Advanced Sex Education Part IV. Yes – this is what we call a baby – the result of getting into woman’s drawers too often

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  CarlJungleBhoy

HA.HA.HA. Carl guid yin,mibee to early but good none the less.
Mibee that we Amsterdam experience has been good for your sexual awareness and awakeness.(is that a word).PART IV F.

TONY CARLIN
7 years ago

caption “the boss was disappointed when he asked me to show him my drawers!”

Carry On CSC Sid James branch

jimmybee
7 years ago

Caption: Here’s one I made earlier.

Brian (not the messiah)
7 years ago

Caption: Record exclusive – Rangers are so good they don’t need top drawer strikers, new (messi like) starlet from english junior lower league plucked for the future

BroxburnBhoy
7 years ago

Caption – another tax avoidance scheme discovered at Ibrox

JIMBO
7 years ago

Caption “A Young Hong Kong Phooey” ….

Morto
7 years ago
Reply to  JIMBO

That wins it for me Jimbo.

S MacFarlane
7 years ago

Hi Ralph,
I can never remember what the photo was when I read the winning caption. (Yes, I am a moron) Any chance of displaying the previous days photo with the winning caption? (if not too much trouble, you’re too kind)

7 years ago

If she shuts that drawer. It’ll be the makings of a claustrophobic psychopath

mike
7 years ago

Caption, Ralphs wife finds out what hes been up to on his travels with the Lennon CSC weekends away.

PeteCon
7 years ago

Caption: “True Blue Irene shows off Hamden Souvenir.”

Houdiniibhoy
7 years ago

I have a Coritiba shirt which my mate brought back from Brazil

It is white and green, has CFC on the badge and they were sponsored by “Tim” at the time…

What’s not to like about the club, especially as they’re taking CKR…

schoosh71
7 years ago

Sevco sign the new Messi.

andybhoy
7 years ago

Caption….. In the SFA offices at Hampden, they realise that some little secrets can’t be solved by the shredder.

Brencelt
7 years ago

Lying king delivers on youth over investment. Alan Hansen says you’ll win nothing with kids on your team.

mike
7 years ago

CQN, The Res12 statement in the press in Nyon only the morra,
Gaurdian Ad later.(To Follow).

mike
7 years ago

Caption, TIM Wifey says we shall out breed the Huns,sperm donations required,Im up for it.are yoo.

7 years ago

Allan McGregors missus doesnae understand the phrase”keep it in ur drawers”

I also had a Coritiba top..weirdly purchased in Amsterdam..green and white and huns at 5s hated asking which top and seeing big CFC badge and TIM in large letters across the back.

mike
7 years ago

Caption, Hello Boss, suprise, suprise.Noo what about that rise?

Caption,This is the Male Model,we also do the Female Model,they come in any shape or colour.

Raymobhoy
7 years ago

Congratulations to AFC Wimbledon who reformed as a new club and started at the 9th tier of the english league and have now been promoted to the 3rd tier.
Starting at the very bottom. Theres a novel idea eh.

Johnbhoy
7 years ago

Caption – New Tory bedroom tax initiative

Frank McGaaaarvey
7 years ago

Priceless caption comments today. Ralph has his work cut out picking just one winner from that lot.
I would like to offer my congratulations and sheer amazement at the news that one of my favourite former Celts, Joe Ledley, has miraculously won his fitness fight and will proudly take his place in the Wales squad at Euro 2016. Well done that man, your team will be my 2nd choice to cheer on this summer.

jimmybee
7 years ago

Brilliant news for Joe,and a player we have never been able to replace. Good luck to him in the Euros

mike
7 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

I second that comment.

jimmybee
7 years ago

Caption. Jack Aitchison gets introduced to the media before making his first team debut.

jimmybee
7 years ago

Caption Dafabet show off their new family hospitality box at Celtic Park.

mike
7 years ago

Caption, I sincerely hope that, that we innocent bairn gets treated 100 times better than that lovely wee Angel,

Liam Fee, RIP Liam,you are safe now from the monster cunts that tortured and murdered you.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mike,
I hope they get a warm welcome in prison…cough, if you know what I mean.

Rebus67
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Mike,

I share your disgust at the circumstances surrounding wee Liam’s death, and the treatment handed out to the other kids.
It is hard to understand how some can claim to be members of the human race.
I hope they are reminded of their actions in prison.

Rebus

jimmybee
7 years ago
Reply to  Rebus67

Prison is too good for them Rebus, bring back corporal punishment for those scum.

Frank McGaaaarvey
7 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

There’s absolutely no punishment in this world that could be perceived as ‘justice’ for what those two evil bastards did.

andybhoy
7 years ago

They should be skinned alive and made to eat each others flesh,horrible horrible dirty scummy fat vermin.

Monti
7 years ago

Andybhoy,
” eat each others flesh “? There is some eating on one of those fat bustards, I think even Jaws wouldn’t be able to finish that meal!

jimmybee
7 years ago
Reply to  mike

Has the police caught the guy who tried to abduct a young Hibs fan yet,in front of a TVs audience.
He could be a real danger.

Monti
7 years ago
Reply to  jimmybee

Yip, his name is Bill Struth!

Rebus67
7 years ago

At last the Res 12 statement is about to appear in a Swiss paper. Hopefully this will be followed by publication in the Guardian. Anyone who read the report of the Herald’s actions on May 19, 23 will recognise that forces are at work to stiffle the efforts of the Res 12 guys. So far the SFA has not taken this on full frontall, but when they do expect the gloves to be well and truly off. For example, the Res 12 guys and their supporters are Celtic shareholders……..can the club be charged with some regulation breach by the SFA because of the actions of some supporters? It would not be a first….think of the sanctions applied over banners and pyro technics.

Res 12 is a grenade that hopefully will only damage its targets and not cause colateral damage.

Rebus

CarllJungleBhoy
7 years ago
Reply to  Rebus67

If/when the Res 12 statements appear, it’s important we get as much publicity as possible for maximum impact. So, if any of you guys have a Twitter A/C, then send your own seperate tweets – and keep sending them – using the hashtag #Res12 , to try and get it trending. Every little bit will help (BTW, Only RT’ing isn’t enough – needs to be a stand alone tweet). Let your fingers to the talking. 🙂

bhoy1967
7 years ago

Sevco sign joey barton,not exactly top drawer.

jimmybee
7 years ago

Rebus, There is nothing more they can do to us.
They have used all the powers available to them to protect one club,and one club only. We have nothing to hide.
They deserve to be in the spotlight,they continue to have the media in this country wrapped round their little finger. But justice will come. We have nothing to fear from them.
They have everything to fear from the truth.

Rebus67
7 years ago

Jimmy,

I wish I had your optimism. Let us say that the SFA decide that the ads in Switzerland and in England are actions that bring the game into disrepute. They would pursue the club not the supporters. The club would then be in a position where they either paid the fine and abandoned the supporters, or decided to fight the ruling by the SFA. Their means of fighting a decision by the SFA ate limited because a club cannot take its FA to court without breaching either UEFA or SFA regs.it would become very ugly. However, such a scenario may force the club to make a stand…..which might be a good outcome. For reasons best known to the club, it has not taken a public position on this which suggests they do not want to confront the FA directly.
If it comes down to a confrontation between club and association, it would not reflect well on Celtic’s ambition to move to another league. Who wants a trouble maker.

Just random thoughts…

Rebus

mike
7 years ago

Res 12 must be acted on,the Board must also play there part,it does not matter a jot what outsiders say or do,we Must take a stand on this,or else the game as we know it in Scotland is finished.
I sincerely hope that the truth on this comes out and that it has consequences for those who took part in this cheating.
The press in Nyon will publish today with the Guardian Advert to follow.Lets hope for succesfull outcome.
Well done to the shareholders,we are all in your debt.

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