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Clever or Quick Enough ?

This was written before last nights game, proving that Etims aren’t clever or quick enough either. 

Broadsword considers the validity of “those ” comments from John Collins

Clever or Quick Enough?

 

 

“Sometimes, we switch off and think it doesn’t really matter, because they’re not going to punish us,” Collins told national newspapers. “If you become open and detached from each other against good players and good teams, you’ll be punished.

 “It’s something that doesn’t happen to us in Scotland. No disrespect to the other Scottish teams, but they’re not clever enough players or quick enough thinkers to punish us.

“We want to open up and be expansive when we have the ball but as soon as it breaks down it’s an instant sprint back into our shape so there are no gaps for opponents to play through us. 

“In Scotland, we can be gung-ho, we can have full-backs overlapping the whole 90 minutes. We’d love to do that in Europe, but the reality is you’d concede a lot of goals.”

These are the shameful, disgusting and vicious remarks made by John Angus Paul Collins. Make no mistake, our narcissistic, conceited and arrogant assistant manager has declared war upon the entire Scottish footballing fraternity, as evidenced by the tour conducted by the BBC Scotland Sports department on Monday to interview managers and players, the length and breadth of the country to vent their extreme displeasure at these scandalous remarks from the bend-the-ball-round-the-Rangers-wall specialist.

Oddly enough I did not really pick up on any disagreement with the remarks. Does this mean something? Was I on the Super Lager at tea time? Is there more to this? Could it be that they were in fact, dare I say it, correct?  Well well buggering well, Collins might just be telling the truth here. Or maybe he isn’t. I strongly feel, given the justified national outcry, the feeling of disrespect prevalent among so many professionals, the tears of the children, the slaying of innocent pets, the crashing of cars, that some analysis is in order to ascertain whether Collins is bang on or bang out of order.

Let me take you on a journey through the other teams we shall face through the course of our domestic campaign and we’ll see if other players are clever enough or quick enough to punish us.

 

 

 

Aberdeen

Under Derek McInnes they have improved, have reasonable strength and were agonisingly close to be playing European football during the school year. First up for consideration is Graeme Shinnie. A very useful left back with a modicum of attacking flair and imagination (lovely goal against Killie) but in all fairness to him I don’t think many Celtic fans had registered him until Steven McLean got him through a semi-final. A decent player, but not ticking the clever and quick boxes for me.

Niall McGinn enjoys near enough hero status in the Seagull Arena these days but he was at Celtic, we’ve seen plenty of him to know that, despite the odd encouraging moment, he too does not contradict Collins’ opinion.

Peter Pawlett is very much a possible though. He is undoubtedly quick and, certainly from what I’ve seen, possesses good game intelligence. I’ll say that he sticks two fingers up to Collins’ words.

Aberdeen 1 Collins 2

 

 

Dundee

Hartley is another manager who has done well. This is a team that I like to watch, they play in an entertaining manner and are worth keeping an eye on. Greg Stewart is the stand out for me. I’ve been told that a number of Celtic players voted for him for Player of the Year last season and it’s kind of easy to see why. The boy scores goals, and quite a number of them are crackers. He has an excellent left foot and can create opportunities for himself. I’ll be generous and award him the victory here.

Aside from Stewart I couldn’t really think (or be arsed to think) of any worthy of contemplation. Still though, it’s Dundee, Albert Kidd an aw that. Draw.

Dundee 1 Collins 1

 

 

 

 

Dundee United

tesco clubcard

 

We like shopping here. So much so that I was struggling to think who could be considered. I mean, have we not bought everyone they have ever had, even Jim Spence?

Anyway, the internet has reliably informed that they do actually have some remaining employees. John Souttar is one of them. He’s flying in the face of Collins’ remarks. A good reader of the game, very good on the ball and able to protect the defence – I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he is going to feature on one of Ronny Deila’s/John Park’s/Peter Lawwell’s letters to Santa.

Then there’s Blair Spittal. Lively, direct and capable of nabbing a goal or two. In all honesty I have only included him as I enjoy saying his name in my head. Blair Spittal. See, you liked that didn’t you? You disgust me. He’s a no by the way.

Robbie Muirhead is a player who we were keen to take from Kilmarnock. He also scored a fantastic goal from distance for the Scotland under-19s. He is also a rare commodity in that he is a Scottish player who has commanded a six figure transfer fee. There’s just one minor issue. He doesn’t really score many goals. In fact he’s pish at it. 4 goals for Kilmarnock and 2 so far for Dundee United. Nah, not yet, maybe one day but not this one.

Dundee United 1 Collins 2

Hamilton Accies

Nah. Although the parents of Ziggy Gordon should be congratulated for their fantastic naming skills.

Hamilton Academicals 0 Collins 3

 

 

 

Hearts

This was probably the trickiest team to judge. In all fairness to them I haven’t seen a great deal other than when we beat them twice last season and the odd highlight here and there. Given that they played last season in the most wonderfully competitive yet shengus league in existence it is difficult to give them a fair assessment…

The boy Juanma looks to be a good signing, although Ladbrokes have him at 2/1 to sign for Celtic it leads me to believe that there is a new choice of breakfast for the league sponsors.

Oshaniwa may eventually laugh in the face of our toned coned-dropper but it’s too early to call so I’ll play this one safe.

 

Heart of Midlothian 0 Collins 3

 

 

 

 

 

Inverness Caledonian Thistle

The start to the season has reinforced a long held suspicion of mine. They actually aren’t that good. With Shinnie and Watkins away they’ve been depleted. There may be a case for Ryan Christie but I think he’s a possible contender in the future and not the present.

Steven McLean remains their most dangerous player.

ICT 0 Collins 3

 

 

Kilmarnock

Absolutely not. Bacon and Brown Sauce bastards the lot of them.

Kilmarnock 0 Collins 3

Motherwell

As much as they provided some hilarity at the end of the last season they are very much looking like a Strachanista retirement village.

 

Motherwell 0 Collins 3

 

 

Partick Thistle

Ryan Stevenson, in particular, took exception with what Collins said. Sunday provided him with an ideal opportunity to ram it down his tanned throat. He didn’t. Do you know why? That’s right – he’s guff. As were the rest of his team.

However, not all is lost for the Jags as they do have an undoubted challenger here. Kingsley.

Image result for kingsley the partick mascot

If Lawwell knows what’s good for Celtic then he will break the bank to get this..this…thing in at Celtic. A poignant reminder, for all of our youth players, of the dangers of a drug-addled youth and serial hedge-jumping.

Partick Thistle 1 Collins 2

 

 

Ross County

Given that their best player was gifted to them by us then I declare a doing. Up ye Sausages.

Ross County 0 Collins 3

St Johnstone

I am slightly biased here in that I have played in the same team as one of their regulars (only a couple of times). He’s a very charitable and forgiving soul but that also tells me something about the level they operate at!

 

St Johnstone 0 Collins 3

 

I toyed with the notion of considering some of the lower league clubs, given that we could get them in one of the cups and that there is a fair whack of media attention around them, and their shitty transfer bids. Alas, I reasoned that it would be unjust, unfair and without purpose to do so. Anyway, the merest mention of ‘St Mirren’ makes me think that I will be kidnapped and forced to look for Steven Thompson’s penalty attempt…

So, in the most rigorous, robust and empirical manner the results are in. SPFL All Stars 4 Collins 29. Our press-up loving predator has been proven right, emphatically so and that’s a proper factoid…

 

 

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Devoy45
8 years ago

Oh dear, if you take the Killie 0 Collins 3 as an example, then we’re in deep trouble. Why don’t we all just quit talking about any other team and talk about our own problems:

Deila and Collins are always talking ‘stuff’ and crap at times.Stop, please.

We don’t score enough goals. Why? Is 4-2-3-1 to blame? Do we have a plan B? We should sometimes be up 4-0 yet we won’t put teams away. Last night we got punished.

Why can our defence look so bad at times?

Get the blend between arrogance and confidence right.

Quit giving MSM and other teams ammunition. Just don’t talk about them, full stop.

Clever or quick enough? Last night answered the question.
I don’t want to support arrogance I just want to continue supporting my team. I am 66 years old and am neither clever nor quick, just a fan.
Let’s concentrate on our team and not the league or country we play in. We have no control over that.

Carl Bigginslater
8 years ago

Although I totally agree with JC this was always destined to bite his golden brown ass because it’s Murphy’s law. But he speaketh the truth. Who cares what any of the rest say. Instead of slating him why don’t they agree that standards must be improved in Scotland and Clubs must aspire to challenge Celtic. GIRUY. Who cares what the press say. When you learn stop buying or paying any attention to what newspapers in Scotland say you’ll be the better for it.

Fhug
8 years ago

Ambrose.

That is all.

The real anton rogan
8 years ago

I echo Devoys remarks (with the exception of his age – I am but a young pup).

Why give the SMSM the ammo? Concentrate on matters Celtic and keep your thoughts on the opposition to yourself. Let us berate the rest of Scottish football. Thats our job. You stick to yours.

Devoy45
8 years ago

Exactly. Let our bhoys be as arrogant or boastful as they want in private or in the dressing room.

bondibrian
8 years ago

I disagree with the comments, I think Celtic should tell it how it is and to hell wi the media and their sychophants. In ma opinion the msm want us back in oor box, back of the bus and back in oor place. Well to buck wi that shite. WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED!

8 years ago

Devoy 45 . Echo your sentiments completely , who cares about what other teams do it’s what we do that is important. And we don’t need arrogance and ignorance from some fans who get carried away and think we are going to turn up for some games and score a barrow load . Bollocks . Talking should be done on the park plain and simple . End of

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