I could try and drag out writing  todays diary until the back of eleven o’clock and give a full detailed analysis of Celtic’s next opponents in the champions League, but that sounds way too much like hard work, so I’ll just do it in the time honoured fashion of the MSM.

Celtic will face crack side ( fill this bit in yourself later ) in the play offs for the champions League. The Hoops hopes were dashed when they pulled the team they were dreading. With added presure on manager Ronny Deila now that Aberdeen are free to concentrate on the league after they bravely lost to tournament dark horses Almaty on aggregate , the onus is on for Peter Lawwell to get the cheque book out to replace departing stars Virgil van Dijk, Nir Biton and the unsettled Stefan Johansen. 

Well, that’s pretty much how it will appear later.

Actually, if Celts draw Maccabi Tel Aviv, Lawwell will probably need to set aside some funds for the inevitable fines as the politically aware Celts will no doubt find a couple of anti-Zionist banners in the cupboard somewhere.

Whoever Celts draw, it won’t be easy, but the levels of professionalism shown against Qarabag should stand us in good stead.

UEFA have confirmed the possibilities this morning, and it’s as we thought;

The club made a last ditch attempt to sell some more season books, as there is still the possibility that Celts could drop into the Europa League, which would hit sales.

The play-off fixtures are due to be played on August 18/19 and August 25/26 and regardless of the opposition, a full-house in Paradise can make all the difference.

It’s not too late to secure a 2015/16 Season Ticket.  You can still play your part so buy today and give your backing to Ronny and the Bhoys to help them take Celtic back to the UEFA Champions League group stages.

Only a 2015/16 Season Ticket give fans a guaranteed right to buy tickets for all UEFA European matches played at Celtic Park and of course, entry to all home SPFL fixtures throughout the season.  

Fair enough.

European football is now guaranteed until December, but a drop to the Europa would mean virtually no saturday games in that period, so it’s important to get over the last hurdle, and ,quite rightly, the money and marketing men will still be a little nervous.

Gara Garayev, one of the Qarabag players from Wednesdays game, has had a bit of a moan about the actions of Scott Brown and mikael Lustig at the final whistle. The video was linked in yesterdyas diary, but it’s worth another look, for those of us who like a little bit of childish gloating;

Scoot Brown maturely screams in the face of a Qarabag player while Mikael Lustig bumps into another.

Garayev said;

“We knew it would be difficult because of the quality of the pitch but Celtic played far worse than I expected.

“And their players did not act the way I expected either.

They did everything on the park except try and play football.

“They verbally provoked us and if we misplaced a pass they ran up to us and laughed at us. Their players intentionally went to ground too.

“It was the Celtic captain who was the worst. Before the match, I had sympathy for them. But after this game, my memory of him and the Celtic players is not very pleasant.

“I won’t be supporting them in future rounds.” 

Well, I won’t be supporting them in the Europa League either. That’s his gas at a peep.

But he wasn’t done. Then it was time to have a go at the pitch;

 “The fans were great, the atmosphere was great, but we had no advantage because the pitch was so bad. 

“Who is to say we wouldn’t have beaten them in Baku on a perfect surface? 

Me. And anyone else who saw the game.

“It was our home ground and yet because of the pitch we couldn’t take advantage of the support we received.

“It completely affected the way we play football.” 

Well, maybe you should have watered it, or put a blanket on it to protect it from the sun then.

Reading that , though, you can’t help feling that the very same quotes, give or take a word or two, would have been accredited to a Celtic player had the result been in the Azeri’s favour.

Then, somewhat bizarrely, something may have been lost in the translation here, he claimed ;

“It seems that Celtic players can do so much more than play football – they can somehow make the referee give their opponents a warning too. ” 

I suppose getting in the way of a swinging boot could do that. Or allowing yourself to be groped to the point of sexual molestation while waiting for a corner.

No doubt his view is Virgil was asking for it, as those shorts did reveal an awful lot of leg.

But we move on.

Aberdeen , despite having the best manager in Scotland if you don’t count Warburton, were knocked out of Europe after failing to overcome a 2-1 defeat in Macedonia when Almaty came to Pittodrie last night.

Now, I may sound bitter, or even triumphalist here, but I can assure you I am not. I am genuinely disappointed.

Inverness can be excused, Astra Giugui are a decent side, as they proved last night beating English team West Ham.

Aashkermat ? Alamty ?

St.Johnstone and Aberdeen should hang their heads in shame and be banned from europe for the next five years on the back of those exits purely for embarassing those of us who seek to defend the merits of Scottish football outwith her borders.

And the press are praising the Dons !

Fuck me, if you don’t point out to these players what they did wrong, how are they supposed to know when they do something right ?

So, yet again, it’s up to Celtic to try to improve the co-efficient.

Christian Wulff, the Norwegian freelance who first spotted Ronny deila in his homeland and suggested he’d be a perfect fit for Celtic, pointed something out on twitter last night that should sober those of you still suffering from Wednesdays excesses.

Club co-efficient: Scotland 16.30 Norway 15.75 Remove all points gained by the best team (Celtic & Rosenborg): Norway 10.775 Scotland 4.425

 4.425 would put Scotland in joint 46th place, amongst some fairly exalted company.

33Moldova2.1250.5002.2503.3751.75010.0004

34Georgia1.8752.8751.5001.8751.2509.3754

35Finland1.8001.5002.0000.5002.4008.2005

36Iceland0.3751.3751.2502.5002.500    8.000

37Bosnia-Herzegovina1.8751.1251.2501.5001.750    7.500

38Liechtenstein0.5002.0000.0001.0002.500     6.000

39Macedonia1.3751.6251.2500.5001.125      5.875

40Ireland1.0001.5001.0000.2502.000     5.750

41Montenegro1.7500.5001.3751.2500.750     5.625

42Albania0.8750.8750.7502.0000.875      5.375

43Luxembourg0.6251.1251.3751.5000.500    5.125

44NorthernIreland1.1250.5001.0000.8751.375   4.875

45Lithuania0.6251.0001.1251.2500.500      4.500

SCOTLAND                 4,425

46Latvia0.5000.6251.2501.6250.250      4.2

47Malta1.5000.8330.8750.8750.125     4.208

48Estonia0.2500.3750.3751.0001.500     3.500

49FaroeIslands0.2500.5000.5000.8751.375     3.500

50Wales0.8750.6250.5000.7500.125      2.875

51Armenia0.2500.1250.8751.1250.375     2.750

52Andorra0.0000.0000.0000.3330.500     0.833

53San Marino0.1660.0000.0000.3330.000    0.499

54Gibraltar0.0000.0000.0000.0000.250     0.250    

Someone is to blame. And it’s not Celtic.

The game is strangling itself, and the parochial attitude isn’t helping. At this rate, we’ll be playing a qualifier just to get into the qualifiers.

Summer football might not be the solution, but the current set up isn’t providing any answers either.

The playing side of the game needs a complete overhaul. The finances are now in order, with all the clubs living within their means. Now we need to scour the world for bright , young innovative coaches and give them a chance to develop their ideas at our clubs, and get rid of the sterility that’s on offer at the moment.

Come to think of it, there’s one club who already changed the way it does things, and we are seeing the benefits.

Also in the news today, a woman who used to work at Ibrox has been helping police with her enquiries as to where roughly around £70m went after Charles Green got involved with the assets of Rangers, who were liquidated in 2012 but told everyone they weren’t. This meant some supporters tried to bail them out but somehow the money wasn’t enough, and the new entity is back in the doo doo again.

This expalins the massive push for season book sales at ibrox, largely publicised in the papers under the guise of a news report. you know the sort, when the headline tells us ;

New Vacuum Cleaner Cleans While You’re Out!

then gives full details on how it works, followed by a wee coupon where you can send off for your money back guaranteed trial period. Usually, the idea is that the company can go out of business before the 100 day trial is up, so you’re left with a hole in the bank account , a dud vacuum, and the phone number for Watchdog.

The Ibrox Evening Times , according to John James on Rangers supporters Loyal, is doing pretty much the same things with it’s regular pieces on the good times rolling at the new club

One of the most interesting facets of the current SMSM coverage is the inclusion of an advertisement for Rangers ST tickets. For those of you not cognizant of the dark arts of PR narrative placement, please allow me to shed some light on how this works. Level 5 pay the newspaper for the advert and write the accompanying article for the journalist whose byline is used to give the impression that he was its author. Have a look at many articles attributed to Chris Jack at the Herald Group. Would it surprise you to discover that the text accompanying the advert was actually composed by Stephen Kerr?

Richard Gough has now stepped up to the plate to do his best to boost ST sales. He has revealed an interesting piece of information. Apparently ‘our’ G&SL chairman had a meeting with Mike Ashley in London last week. Only PMG seems to have been aware of this. If discussions had led to a successful outcome, would it not be fair to conclude that the Level 5 laptops might be subject to Health & Safety restrictions due to the repetitive strain injuries of Traynor & Kerr as they typed Jack/Lindsay & Williams’ latest puff pieces?  

Well, who’d have thought it ?

Was I the only one who thought of Charles Green yesterday when news broke that George Cole, the actor who played lovable rogue Arthur Daley in eighties TV smash Minder ? Perhaps next time he’ll pick someone who isn’t called McCann to look after him.

There’s Friday night football as well later on.

August sees Saints meeting another club in competitive action for the first time twice. The @RangersFC tomorrow and Annan on the 18th. 

Trouble brewing ?

Of course, football violence on the telly is nothing new;

How will Second  Rangers supporters take this affront to their beliefs ?

We asked one, and he didn’t seem that bothered.

Oh, and before i go, there is evidence of a major new cash injection at ibrox when our mole spotted this on Paul Murrays desk…

The picture yesterday showed Celts of old waiting for the bingo to start at a working mens club after they’d had their photos taken for some magazine or other. Probably.

I was hoping one of you would know. You normally do.

What’s the story here ? Is it really true that Michael Kelly was testing out his idea for a new stand ?

For all you conspiracy theorists out there, there is nothing suspicious about four members of the bin Laden family dying in a plane crash. They were notorious for not bothering to teach their pilots how to land the aircraft.

Right, I’m away. i’ve got an eight week old border collie pup to look after. We’ve called it Izzy, as it’s a lively little sod, but never runs where you want it to.

Anyway, the house is now starting to smell a bit, as it ran out onto the road and I shit myself, wondering what the wife would say.