Celtic Diary Monday August 3: Game In doubt ? And New Balance Comments On Their Kit.

Before I start, I’d just like to pay my respects to sixties songstress and latterly tv presenter Cilla black, who passed away yesterday. she arrived at the gates of heaven, and St. Peter asked her

” What is your name and where are you from ? ”

Still, after Bobbi Brown the other day, and now Cilla Black, Jim White must be shitting himself as the big man puts together a game of snooker.

It’s a bit warm over in Baku at the moment, so much so that the itch Celtic are due to play on at tea time Wednesday is a little bit charred around the edges, and may not be playable.

Just to clarify, although it’s teatime over here, it will be 9.30 in the evening over there, so it should be a little cooler than some alarmist reports , but probably still warmer than it is in Glasgow.

Or in my dishwasher.

However, according to the Daily Mail;

reports there say the extremely hot weather has rendered 30 per cent of the pitch unplayable, with other sections of the surface uneven and rutted. 

Looks alright to me. 

This , of course, won’t help the Celts play their high pressing short passing game, but to be fair, neither do the players at the moment, and there is the added risk of injury. 

Rutted pitches can cause all sorts of physical damage. I remember watching an amateur game some years ago, and because the pitch resembled a ploughed furrow, and the game quickly descended into a farce,  I decided to head to the bar for a little light refreshment. Afterwards, I was so refreshed I fell over on the car park and hurt my knee.

So you can’t be too careful.

Celtic fly out to Baku today, and should be there in time for kick off. They are aware of the issues regarding the pitch, and are seeking  re-assurances about the playing surface.:

‘We are aware of the issue as regards the pitch in Baku. At the moment, we are seeking reassurances over the quality of the surface.’ said an unimaginative spokesman 

The Mail quoted the rule book;

UEFA rules state that if there is any question of a match being called off, the Azerbaijani champions should notify Celtic before their departure from Glasgow Airport at 2pm this afternoon.

UEFA’s Article 11.01 states: ‘If the home club finds that a match cannot take place, for example because the field is not fit for play, the home club must notify the visiting club and the referee before their departure from home and the UEFA administration at the same time. 

Neil McCann, the tortured soul who does the comedy squealing on sky TV consulted his rule book;

If Celtic don’t sort the state of the pitch out before the game they are denying Qarabag a clear, goal scoring opportunity. 

McCann, who likes a rant at the expense of Celtic, was on form during Saturdays season opener against Ross County. Celtic won the game 2-0 with an early penalty from Leigh Grifiths, and a second from Stefan Johansen, but by including a goalkeeper and some defenders, the hoops were

guilty of denying Ross County a clear goal scoring opportunity 

At least, thats all I could see. There was one instance when Craig Gordon ran out, bumped into Jackson Irvine outside his box, causing a somewhat theatrical roll when the County man realised he was not going to get to the ball, but that cannot be what McCann was on about,

Can it ?

Maybe he was discussing rules of another type …

Willie Collum, who has improved considerably as a referee over the last two days or so, gave Gordon a yellow, for the foul, which was fair enough.

 McCann, as he did last year with Derk Boerrifter and john Guidetti, seized the chance to harp on about another red card Celtic should have had, hilariously quoting from the new rule book which says you can be sent off for having the number 1888 on your shirt.

 Or something like that.

As ever, someone in the media who feels his views are important is shouting loud enough to keep his name out there in footballland, which means his contract must be going into it’s last year, and therefore is up for renewal.

 And as ever, he’s full of shite.

There are, according to FIFA, seven offences that are “cautionable ” . Eight if you count “being Gary Hooper “

a player is cautioned and shown the yellow card if he:

1. Is guilty of unsporting behaviour.

2. Shows dissent by word or action.

3. Persistently infringes the Laws of the Game.

4. Delays the restart of play.

5. Fails to respect the required distance when play is restarted with a corner kick, free kick or throw-in.

6. Enters or re-enters the field of play without the referee’s permission.

7. Deliberately leaves the field of play without the referee’s permission. 

Unsporting behaviour is a reckless tackle, a technical tackle, to impede an attack, dissent, handball, holding or simulation. Other examples are verbal distraction of a player, changing places with the goalkeeper without permission, and using a deliberate trick while the ball is in play to circumvent law 12, rule 3. Look it up if you care. I don’t.

Unless you are a substitute or substituted player-presumably still on the bench, where there are only three. Four if you count being “Gary Hooper.

There are three offences for which a substitute or substituted player can be cautioned and shown the yellow card if he:

1. is guilty of unsporting behaviour

2. shows dissent by word or action

3. delays the restart of play 

There are seven offences for which a player, substitute or substituted player can be sent off and shown the red card if he: ( eight, Gary Hooper, etc. )

1. Is guilty of serious foul play. Any player who lunges at an opponent when challenging for the ball from the front, from the side or from behind using one or both legs, with excessive force and endangering the safety of an opponent, is guilty of serious foul play.

2. Is guilty of violent conduct. A player is guilty of violent conduct if he uses excessive force or brutality against an opponent when not challenging for the ball. Violent conduct may occur either on the field of play or outside its boundaries, whether the ball is in play or not. He is also guilty of violent conduct if he uses excessive force or brutality against a team-mate, spectator, match official or any other person.

3. Spits at an opponent or at any other person.

4. Denies the opposing team a goal or an obvious goalscoring opportunity by deliberately handling the ball (this does not apply to a goalkeeper within his own penalty area). There are two sending-off offences that deal with denying an opponent an obvious opportunity to score a goal:  If a player denies the opposing team a goal or an obvious scoring opportunity by deliberately handling the ball.  If a player denies an obvious goal-scoring opportunity to an opponent moving towards the player’s goal by an offence punishable by a free kick (direct or indirect) or a penalty kick. Criteria for deciding when to penalise for denying an obvious goal-scoring opportunity:  The direction of the play.  The location of the foul.  The proximity of the player to the ball.  The probability of controlling the ball.  The location and number of opponents.  The opportunity for the attempt on goal.

5. Denies an obvious goal-scoring opportunity to an opponent moving towards the player’s goal by an offence punishable by a free kick or a penalty kick.

6. Uses offensive or insulting or abusive language and/or gestures.

7. Receives a second caution in the same match. 

Let’s look at the criteria for defining an obvious goal scoring opportunity;

 The direction of the play. 

Irvine was heading towards the left flank, he was attempting to round the keeper.

The location of the foul. 

Right hand side of the box, maybe twenty yards from the goal line.

 The proximity of the player to the ball. 

he was in possession, but it was travelling at a pace which meant he probably was losing control

 The probability of controlling the ball. 

He’s a Ross County player, for fucks sake.

 The location and number of opponents. 

Virgil van Dijk was steaming towards the goal line. He would, in all probablilty have made it to the line before the ball.

The opportunity for the attempt on goal. 

Irvine may have been able to reach the ball and attempt a shot. However, given the pace of the ball he would have found it difficult to hit the target first time, and had he taken time to control it , van Dijk would certainly have covered it.

Conclusion ?

After careful consideration of all the available images, comments and other evidence, and carefully sifting, analysing and evaluating these over a not inconsiderable period of time, I can only say, in conclusion, without doubt and fear of recrimination, Neil McCann is a tit.

As far as the rest of the game goes, Celtic won. The players appeared to have switched off after an hour or so, but when there’s a difficult journey and an important game ahead midweek, they can be forgiven for not bursting a gut to win a game that’s pretty much already won. no-one wants to see any injuries, or any rash red cards, so the more professional attitude is welcome.

 Ronny, I said it’s welcome.

Ronny ? Chill, man…

“You always want to play better and today we played ok for 55-60 minutes but the last 30 minutes were sloppy and messy. We weren’t together as a team and lost the ball all over the pitch and that was a little bit disappointing.

“ It was two-and-a-half days since we played and it was a big match with a lot of intensity and you could see a lot of the other players were tired and there were a lot of changes.”  

There were a lot of misplaced passes, there was a recurrence of the old trouble, as Celtic failed to capitilise on corner after corner, and there was a little nervousness at the back, but again, there’s an important game on Wednesday, and at this stage of the season, it’s only results that  count.

 Google images isn’t working today.

I said “count “

 As you know, Ive been in correspondence over the quality and workmanship of the New Balance kits. As you know, i’ve been waiting for a reply from the company and the club.

 The company have replied, and i reproduce it below.

Make your own mind up if you want to buy their tat.

I have.

My own opinion is that it’s difficult to decide whether it’s the attitude or the product which is worse. , and from now on I’ll be digging out the old umbro tops, as a testament to when kits lasted longer than a month.

And you could wash them and everything…

first, my questions ?

to which I replied, this morning….

I’ll keep you posted with any replies.

Meanwhile, with all the hassle Celtic fans have been getting from the police, and also to deal with one or two issues regarding stewarding at the ground, we hear of a man , a quiet and polite clerk and non matchdays, who has made it his sole purpose in life to make the match day experience a pleasure for one and all.

 After eating a scotch pie that was left in the microwave for to long, he developed strange powers, incuding an overdose of common sense and an ability to deal practically and calmly with safety issues.

 Ladies and gentleman, bhoys and ghirls, we give you Glasgows latest and greatest superhero…..

 Andy Ritchie, one of the finest scottish players I ever saw, was in Saturdays picture. He left Celtic to join morton, who all of a sudden became a top side! Ritchie, though , had his demon, and joins the ranks of that great Sciottish side who would have won the World cup if the pubs were shut.

Whats the story behind this picture, of another great Scottish player who would have been in that side ?