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The View From A Sofa In Manchester

Regular reader El Cormaco sent us his thoughts on the way forward for Celtic and the Scottish game....

 

The view from a sofa in Manchester…

Perched as I am on my sofa in Manchester, a great city now fully disinfected after our unfortunate outbreak of Chelsea fans some time ago, I thought it might be a good idea to write about what’s happening north of the border in the world of Scottish  fitba.

 

Now, I’m an outsider, not Scottish, not living there. But Alexis de Tocqueville was a Frenchman who travelled to the USA and wrote the then definitive account of American democracy, the feeling being that his very “outsider-ness” helped him see the picture more clearly.  Sadly, this article is evidence that often outsiders don’t know what they are talking about.

So what to write about, now that the games have finished?

Signing targets?

Your tabloid, should you still choose to buy one, can provide you with enough made up rumours; I’ll leave that to the professionals in making things up. And the e Tims rumour mill, which is just as good as the professionals in making pish up

End of season review?

It’s done, over, you saw it, great season with hope for the future, not much I can add of interest.

2nd Rangers / sevco?

Tempting. It’s an ongoing farce served up with industrial scale levels of jelly & ice cream for us Tims, and there is certainly much to say, laugh at and speculate on. However, with the excellence of the Clumpany, James Forrest (laytonbhoy) and Phil Mac’s work and of course the quest for truth that drives Scottish Sports journalism (who is that laughing?) again I have not much new to say.

So what I’m going to write about, having wasted so much time saying what I won’t?

drum roll

 

 

The future of Scottish football. Yes, nothing more exciting than this one!!

With news recently that Barcelona out sell Celtic strips in Scotland (some diddy team was mentioned in the story too) it got me thinking about where our game is going.

Without getting into “Scottish football needs a strong *Rangers” territory, I believe it’s fair to say that the game in Scotland is not in fantastic shape at the minute:

No money, empty stands, some terrible playing surfaces, a fairly unchallenging run to the title for Celtic, a lot of very poor foreign players, an old boys club (and I think we know which club) running the game very poorly, quite a few games that are from a neutral point of view, well, shite.

The EPL takes all the money, interest, players etc. The trickle down into the English game means Celtic can’t compete with even championship or league 1 clubs for players given the wages we can’t match. Which is hugely frustrating; seeing good players leave Celtic to small teams who never compete for trophies, and Celtic having to stick so strictly to a “buy a project, polish him up and sell him on” philosophy that means the club can never achieve the potential it’s fan base should allow for.

So here is my plan, including sexy title:

To help change the fortunes of Scottish football and as a consequence help Celtic be competitive in Europe.

I should add this piece is based on no research at all, will change nothing, and if you waste your time reading it don’t blame me, I’ve wasted my time writing it.

If you do read it, thank you. What I hope is that better minds than mine tell me where I’m wrong or what would be better. A debate about football when there is no football.

1. Summer football.

“Can he do it on a wet Wednesday night at Cappielow?”

Mibbes aye, mibbes naw, but who wants to sit freezing their nuts off watching it?

Start the season in June, close up in January, and start again Feb. For fans the season would start when the weather is good, there are fewer games played. In the time since I started this piece eh 90 min cynic podcast have just done a pod covering much of this – so I m already out of date! It’s a good listen, available via Hail Hail Media on Spreaker.

If you’ve not cancelled your sports channel subscription you’ll know that there is nothing on once the football finishes. I’m sure offering league football in this fallow period until the EPL gets going on August would interest broadcasters (remember I did say there has been no research carried out in this BTW). It would mean Celtic could already be playing competitive games before what are, from a money and fan interest point of view, are most important matches of every season. In our run to Seville there was a mid season break, something Martin O Neill felt was a key factor on players being fresher in the big games. Running costs for clubs in trying to keep games on in the depths of winter would also be  reduced, although I have heard the counter argument to this on the 90 min cynic podcast – hey I m just a guy rambling here, want research? Want facts?  You’re in the wrong place buddy.

 

 

2. League reconstruction

Image result for league reconstruction scotland

Hear me out!! This is not about helping any particular team who proved to be incapable of getting there themselves through their efforts on an even playing field into the Premier League.

Playing the same team four times in a league season bores me rigid. You can see how our players at times look like they struggle to get motivated to take on for example Ross County for the third time that year. And I don’t really blame them.

I’m not saying any extra teams coming up are going to be more glamorous than what’s already there but a bit of variety at least, a few different grounds and different players.

Maybe 16 teams, once home and away, so 30 league games. This leaves a hole so I’d think about keeping the split, bottom eight playing for 4 relegation spaces, top eight playing off for the title and Europe, so you would play some teams three times a season and you would have to look at home / away balance – again, I m just spouting off here, want detail? Not my job mate.

A second professional league below that with promotion places up to the top league, including play offs. Whether retaining the Scottish system or adopting the English one I don’t mind. It’s not like we’ll every need to worry about them.

What I would add, is that  this isn’t something to rush into for next season, give teams a good 3-4 year notice period to draw up plans and be ready to go when the change has come in.

3. Give tickets away

Image result for peter lawwell shock

One reason that EPL games are popular is the atmosphere, the packed stands, the sense that it is a desirable product. Having been to quite a few grounds the truth is there is virtually no atmosphere, and the games are often terrible, but perception is the thing. When I tune in to a Partick v Dundee game and the stands are so sparse it is hard to get up for the game as a neutral.

Now I know clubs are struggling with answers to this question and I can’t pretend I have them. I do remember a documentary I watched on ESPN about an American football college team that was hopeless and had no one going to watch them. They brought in new coaches, focused on recruiting local players, introduced a fan pleasing style of aggressive attacking play, and gave their tickets away.

Yes, they were laughed at in the media, more so when few people turned up for the first few games. But those that went were telling people how much fun they had, how well the team were playing, how good it was to see so and so from down the road playing. More started to go. It became a community thing to do again. The team began to win, by the end of their season they were turning people away. The next year they reintroduced paid tickets, and still sold out.

Obviously a professional football team needs money coming in, but pricing as a whole has been a problem for a while. Many clubs are bringing prices back down, but the perception is that it’s too expensive. So maybe every club signs up to very generous concession deal for the first few games of the season, a try it and see type deal. Obviously some clubs, cough cough 2nd Rangers, are in desperate need of season ticket money asap and so won’t be keen, but for those that recognise they need people coming through the gates but can afford to forego gate receipts for one day they could collectively sign up for a “sell out Saturday” type thing. Yes they d laugh down south, let them, we need to think outside the .. was going to say outside the box, but every time I think of it I see that looping shot go past Cammy Bell and have to stop typing to wipe away the tears.

Tickets to local schools, the unemployed, new immigrants, military personnel, errant Celtic fans sent to Ibrox for their community service, any thing at all, just get people into the games, get some atmosphere going and hopefully keep them coming.

4. Second / Feeder clubs

castilla

 

Not sure if this is a good idea or not, but a Celtic reserves team in the second league playing home games at St Mirren, or Man Utd signing up to be a feeder club for a Morton or whoever, get some local interest in going to see the stars of the future.

If it were my team suddenly transformed into Celtic reserves I d not be happy, and it might be counter productive as Celtic may lose some away fans who opt to go to Paisley to see the reserves instead of travelling, but it may be worth looking into to help Celtic, and possibly Aberdeen – the big clubs- give their youths some better experience and spread some money around Scottish football. English football was debating whether or not they would like such a thing in their game, and it seems they wouldn’t, but if Motherwell or whoever had a tie in with Man City it might put a few hundred on the gate, and it all helps.

5. Cross border games

 

In all honesty, I’d drop every one of those ideas up if my real aim, have Celtic play league football outside Scotland, came to pass. Sorry, but it’s true. I do love Scottish football in a way, but its well, its shite really. I m from “Norn Iron” so Celtic aside have no real history with the great Ayr team of 63-64 or the legendary Falkirk side of 78-79 (They may or may not have been great teams, don’t look them up, how many times – no research). I listen to Sportscene, aka “the latest from Ibrox” but really, Celtic are a level above Scottish football in every way, and are hostages of fortune in playing in it.

Bu how about a cross border league cup? EPL teams probably wouldn’t want it, but some Championship clubs may well do, and most senior Scottish teams likely would, so it’s worth pursuing – a few knock out rounds, final alternating between Hampden / Wembley. I did read some where (if you ask about research once more pal…) an idea that it could remain in each nation until quarter or semi final stage and then go cross border…anything really to get Celtic playing English teams a little more regularly and generate interest in some future admittance to English league football and give us more regular games at a good level, without huge pressure, ones in which our fringe or youth players can get good test and hopefully press to get into the first team.

 

6. Replace SFA / SPFL management.

 

They had a fair go. They’ve been awful. They take almost three years to find a sponsor then ejaculate all over themselves about it when they do. They “sell” the game by talking about Armageddon if a new team aren’t allowed to enter in the top league, they cant prove some one head-butted a player despite clear pictures on TV, but can ban a guy for racism with no evidence to hand, they have a referee who had every appealed red card he gave in a season overturned, they have others with long histories of “honest mistakes”. Paul Larkin is publishing a book soon on the SFA and its referees, and he does research and everything, so it will b e worth looking out for.

They have senior administrators who  remain in their posts despite very strong links with a former member club and its illegal payment schemes. They fine a billionaire £7500 for dual interests, then reduce the amount on appeal, while allowing a convicted criminal who was on the board of a club which went into admin / liquidation to be passed as fit and proper, giving fans little to no justification for their decision. They are killing fans love of the game through at best incompetence and at worst institutional bias.

 

So send them all on their way and when we bring in the league reconstruction I talked about bring in new governance and governors too, who truly operate without fear or favour. For the record I don’t really believe there is a huge anti Celtic conspiracy, we win a lot more often than would be the case if it were true, but the five way agreement, subsidising broadcasters to carry 2nd Rangers games shows they are unable to see the new reality. The reincarnation of the Ibrox club has been a disaster, they are making themselves an irrelevance through hubris and mismanagement and Scottish football needs to move on without them.

7. Big it up or bog off

 

 

Scottish football journalists “earn” a living by selling the game. The game, not season tickets for Ibrox. Film Critics tell people what a film is like so people can decide to go see it or not. At the very least, they encourage interest. The football press and media should be telling us about the excitement of particular games, highlighting the skills on display – and when watching games as a neutral I am impressed by the skills on display, or the intrigue behind forthcoming fixtures rather than the tried and failed “good *Rangers story / bad Celtic story model that is entirely transparent and outdated and does nothing for the profile of the game.

 

The latest Celtic Underground podcast (see I do some research after all!) has Grant Russell and “whispering” Harry Brady discuss this with some good ideas – (find them out for yourself, I m done with research, jeez oh)

 

 

8. Proper pitches.

 

The league up semi final this year. Some thing of a showpiece for football in Scotland. Played on a rutted field even 2nd Rangers struggled to get their “boot it up to the big man” “style” going on.

Fir Park, Tannadice, Firhill etc: places where more often than not the pitch is in terrible nick and a good game is nigh on impossible.  Going back to the cinema analogy, you can’t charge people into the cinema and then try showing them a film from a download you got on your phone. They expect a certain level of service.

 

Like wise with football, how can you expect to entertain fans and have them come back again and again, when players are expected to go to work on pitches that are clogged, slow, uneven and sometimes dangerous, not just because Lee mc Culloch is “playing” on it. I know pitches are expensive to maintain, maybe the winter break would help there, but it’s vital in my opinion that the surface is good, and if money needs to be diverted from budgets to make it happen, so be it. I d make it a serious offence to have repeat instances of a pitch that doesn’t meet minimum standards

 

If none of these work, and Celtic still have to play the Icelandic champions in the middle of June to start qualifying for the CL to be played in tow year’s time or whatever it is then finally the nuclear option:

 

Spend whatever it takes (where have I heard that recently?). Even if the club don’t have it. Chase the dream. Run up massive debts.

Don’t pay them.

Go bust.

Liquidate the “holding company”.

Start again.

 

After all, we’ll be the same club, with all our history, right?

The horror, being Second  Celtic.

No.

Whatever I say  about our club being bigger than the market in which we operate, and the frustration of our best players having to be sold on to small clubs with more money, we are still Celtic, still have our history and principles and as long as that is the case it will do for me.

 

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m1kks
8 years ago

Sadly this is the view of Scottish football, and it will never get better as long as it is run by the current mob. The sooner we clear out that rancid cesspool of funny handshakes and incompetence the better. But there lies the problem how do we get rid of them and get a proper, single governing body. Summer football for me as well, does anybody, anywhere love driving on dark icy roads midweek in the middle of winter trying to get to a game!

Gerry
8 years ago

Quite a few I agree with but won’t comment on all:
a) in terms of summer football we’re already playing into June and back July so not much more of a summer to use; and it’s baltic from November to February so we can’t escape our p!sh climate.
b) absolutely let fans in free to beef up the crowds, watching some games with the vast empty seats is quite sad, although it happens in the EPL as well to less of an extent, and certainly in the Championship.
c) I think reserve teams in the lower leagues would be a great breeding ground for our 16-19 year olds, much like farming youngsters out to juniors in the old days. The step up to the first XI would be less as well so think that would develop young Scottish players across the board, make this happen someone!!

ids
8 years ago

Free tickets = screaming kids who get bored after a while and don’t even watch the game, who would buy a season ticket if the guy next to you is getting in for free?
Playing in England is never going to happen and neither should it.
Summer football is not really going to make a difference either.
The problem is the (hate using the word) product. My local team Watford have sold every available season ticket because the thought of seeing the big name stars of the visiting teams is exciting. The reality is no Scottish team has or is likely to have any player that anyone wants to see. Lets face it even Celtic are never going to have another Henrik when small town teams like Watford & Bournemouth can spend 7 or 8 million on a player. Sorry to be so negative but a the bloke out of Dads Army says ‘we all doomed’.

Admin
8 years ago
Reply to  ids

Dont forget Celtic made Henrik Larsson. He was all for retiring when we signed him.
he was a “used to seem decent” player before we rebuilt him.

Larsson cost 600k…Lubo cost 150k….even Naka cost only £1m in this day and age.
it aint quite all over yet just cause english wannabee bankrupts can pay more.

Bolton had plenty “superstar” players under big Sam..didnt stop us being bigger and better than Blackburn

pensionerbhoy
8 years ago
Reply to  ids

ids

A very gloomy forecast but one that does not take account of two things. Back in the 50s, 60s and 70s, English football was flooded with Scottish and Irish players. Perhaps that could happen again if we get “the product” right especially at development level. Do also remember English football and much of European Latin football is in a cash bubble holding a financial time bomb. I know it has been muted for years that the bubble will burst and it has not so far. However, the banking explosion came suddenly and without warning and it was only in retrospect everyone saw the causes. I most likely will not see any of this happen but what goes round comes around and I bet my bottom dollar (I’m Greek :)) some day there will be a football Vesuvius and Scotland will be “no bad” when the bits and pieces are gathered up. Have no worries about my bet by the way. I will be brushing daisy roots of my head before I can collect.

H H

Ralph malph
8 years ago

Wow. Glad I’m not sitting next to you. Give me screaming kids anytime.

pensionerbhoy
8 years ago

El Cormaco

You forgot 9. The SOFA!

H H

HoudiniBhoy
8 years ago

As a fellow Greater Mancunian import I find it hard to disagree with everything you have said. One of the biggest problems we have is Sky and the people who are on it. I can remember Scottish football being previewed on a Saturday afternoon and Jeff Stelling turned to the panel and it came to Rodney Marsh to predict a score and he said “Don’t care!”. This kind of attitude has been allowed to flourish with Scots apologists such as Walker, Nicholas and to a lesser extent Provan who have ran our game down. It’s hardly an advert for the game if three “top” players are effectively saying to the public “Don’t bother watching it, it’s pish”.

Celtic have won the league before a ball is kicked they will tell you, then they big up the “best” league in the world. Thing is 7 teams have finished in the top 4 over the last 10 years compared to 9 in the top 4 in Scotland, with 40 percent less clubs… think I might have done too much research there now I’ve hit percentages… The EPL is still a procession and lets be honest Stoke v Hull on Monday night football is about as interesting as James Traynor goodie bag. If Sky spent a tenth of what they spend on EPL advertising alone up in Scotland the viewing figures would go up, cost of advertising during matches would increase and Scottish football would get a better deal from Sky… in a perfect world.

I am fed up of listening to plastic United/Liverpool/City (delete depending on the season) fans tell me how pish our game is and all they have to back that up is their uncle Derek went to Troon in 1993 and pricks like Nicholas tell us it’s a waste of time… whilst salivating over Ricky van Wolfswinkel coming to the Premiership to set it alight. I assume he was a pyromaniac given his 1 goal tally for the season. Overpaid, overrated and over here… The plethora of ordinary players in that league is baffling and their wage packets staggering.

Back to Scotland, that there is a gap since some club forgot to stick a pound in the meter and were then cruelly relegated to the bottom division (source: Sky Sports, SMSM and the RST), teams have come to the fore in my opinion. Honours are spread out and teams believe they can win most weeks. Chelsea win the league at a canter and it’s how great they are, Celtic win by less points and we’re playing against shite… You can’t win with Sky.

Scottish football is better than it’s given credit for. The establishment needs to go and bring in the right people who can market a product, not bleed it dry as their own social club and retirement fund. Look at the people who run Rugby League and how it is run, it has a good business model and further moots the point that summer fixtures would probably be a very good idea. It would also get the English fans interested too because they will stop at nothing to get out of going shopping with the husband,wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. It would also allow better kick off times as there would not be a League One match to contend with.

I could go on… forever. So I will stop h

<<<<there

CarllJungleBhoy
8 years ago

Good read and some good ideas, but old cynic that I am, I don’t think many of these are likely to happen. The SFA/SPFL themselves are only interest in one thing. Getting the tribute act back in the top flight and hoping theat wil generate enough interest to revive the game- It’s a scndal that a top official reesposible for the game could get away ith that Armageddon comment and still be in a job.

I dont think the Scottish game is half as bad as it’s perceived down south, but Frankly, the only thing which I can see helping improve it’s image is for Celtic to have a good run in the Champions League – and other Scotish clubs to step up to the mark in Europe, which will make other countries sit u & take notice. It’s not totally impossible IMHO with the right blend of youth & drive and the right coach. It’s early days but Ronnie just might have what it takes.

A Scotkand team in he final stages of a major tournament would laos go a long way to restoring the perception, but I wonlt hold my breath on that one.

Anyway, one thing e’re all agreed on is that sonething has to change. Getting rid of that bunch of incomptentant fools & closet bluenoses n charge of the game would be a good start. Relying/waiting on the tribute act to revive seems to be their only policy, but is doomed to failure and is damaging the already dismal reputation of the game.

We nee change at so many level,s but I don’t have a year to spare or as comfy enough armchair to bore the arse ff you all with my 178 point plan.

CarllJungleBhoy
8 years ago

and 178 dyslexic typos a minute 🙂

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