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Celtic Diary Friday June 26: Ach, You’ve Got to Laugh.

It doesn’t seem like five minutes since the season ended ( it isn’t -ed ) and already Sky have moved one of next seasons games.

Flag day will against Ross County will now kick off at 12.45 on Saturday August 1 to suit television. It’s not entirely unexpected, as subject to the terms of the contract Celtic will have to have the cameras at Celtic Park a couple of times anyway, and I suppose it gets one of them out of the way.

At least we’ve got four or five weeks to get the trip planned . And there will be plenty of time for a post match refreshment.

And I suppose we can take a can or two with us on the bus.

However, there’s still no confirmation on the official site of when the Champions League qualifier against Stjarnan will take place.

July 2015

È

Wed, 1st Jul Den Bosch Friendly 19:45 N Buy Tickets
Sat, 4th Jul Dukla Prague Friendly 12:30 N Buy Tickets
Fri, 10th Jul Real Sociedad Friendly 19:45 N Buy Tickets
Sat, 18th Jul SD Eibar Friendly 18:00 A
Sat, 25th Jul Rennes Friendly TBC H

Perhaps if we don’t tell them, then we can claim a forfeit.

Meanwhile, pre season training is well and truly underway, and as usual this time of year, Derk Boerrigter is grabbing the headlines. Presumably to stop him falling over.

Derk Boerrigter and Stefan Scepovic are the stars of Celtic

training.

Intrigued ? Believe me, so was I.

Derk Boerrigter and Stefan Scepovic have hardly flourished since joining Celtic but the pair were the stars of the show during training on Thursday afternoon.

Indeed, as Ronny Deila’s squad were put through their paces during pre-season, a football version of crazy golf was embarked upon, with players needing to chip the ball towards goal by first hitting the crossbar.

The first round was won by Stuart Armstrong and Gary Mackay-Steven, before Boerrigter and Scepovic came to the fore.

Dedryck Boyata was among the winners for the third round but, in a play-off for the overall conquerors, the Celtic misfits came through. 

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The report doesn’t give detail about exactly how the game was played, but from the picture it looks like the idea is to get the ball to hit one bar and then enter the opposite net.

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I would have paid to see Kris Commons do that.

They did put a camera on the ball for his first attempt, and the pictures were fascinating.

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Anyway. Commons didn’t win because he couldn’t get the hang of it and was disqualified.

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On the whole though, if the idea is to keep training interesting, it looks like it was a success.

This looks like a laugh;

keepy uppie  around 4 poles and drop the ball in the box

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There is no record, however, of using the modern scientific  techniques once employed across the city.

Image result for Ally McCoist training

The bonding between players seems to have carried over from last season. Yesterdays caption pic had Derk Boerrigter being helped to navigate a particularly awkward kerbstone, and new bhoy Deydrick Boyata has been helped to settle in as well.

His new pal, Stuart Armstrong said;

A really nice guy,very chatty. Gary & I know what it’s like to be a new player, so we are being friendly with him 

“Very good guy. Been giving him a lift in and out. He still hasn’t produced any money for it, but sure he will!”  

He’s only been here a couple of weeks, and probably hasn’t been paid yet. give him a break. Honestly, you can take the lad out of Dundee…..

Something else that caught the eye from Lennoxtown was the players menu. This is what they could have had for lunch.

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 Do you really get energy from eating roast baby with potatoes ?

Well, if it gets us into the group stages.

Don’t tell Tesco, though. They’ll put them in their economy burgers.

Remember the horsemeat scandal ?

tesco

And if you don’t know what a tossed salad is, and find yourself in a Mexican prison, it’s probably better to give it a miss.

Jesus Loves You isn’t necessarily always a good thing to hear.

The progressive management team at Ibrox have responded with a new, state of the art eaterie for their own players.

Image result for greasy spoon cafe menu

 Quick breakfast, twice round the car park and they’re ready for action.

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 On the transfer front, there’s little to add to anything you’ve seen elsewhere, except that there are rumours that an out of contract player from another club was invited to train yesterday, so the management could have a look at him.

 However, he found out that training at Celtic was a lot more intense than he was used to, although  next time he has promised to bring some shorts and leave the beer until afterwards.

We’ve been keeping an eye on the quality of the new tops, and there’s more than one example of this coming to our attention.

This from twitter;

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 By the way, am I the only Celtic fan who has his PIN number on his shirt so I don’t forget it ?

The club shop will replace them if you take them back, but the problem seems to be you just get another one.

News from over the other side of the city now, and the big push is on to sell season books;

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My, what a delightful collection of young men, gathered together to fight for their club.

 In fact, here’s what one or two of them, and a couple of others, once said, the last time there was a crisis at Ibrox.

Cue the usual retorts from the hordes…Incidentally, why isn’t McCoist on that picture ? Has he got them tucked up for image rights as well ?

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 But wait, there’s a lone voice in the darkness that , if he is listened to , might just bring the whole edifice  -listed building or not-   crashing to the ground.

 I know it’s a Celtic Diary, but this piece below, if it’s taken seriously, could not only lead towards an eventual cleaning up of the Scottish football brand, damaged almost fatally by the toxic entity from south of the river, but possibly even a clear out of those in the media who perpetuate the myth that everything will be alright as long as Rangers survive.

I include it because I care about the image of Scottish football, and if this guy is serious about cleaning up things at ibrox, then he deserves all the publicity he can get. And those who have been in a position to challenge and expose those involved in the scandal have been shamefully quiet.

 “Ninjaman “, on Rangerssupportersloyal  makes a lot of very good points, especially about the impact of not paying Ashley….

I’ve been really busy over the last couple of weeks looking at a number of documents etc. Interesting stuff I have to say. There’s also a fair number of other Rangers fans doing the same. Looking into the implications of certain things, and what some of these documents and contracts actually say needs a sharper intellect than mine, so a massive thank you to those that helped me get my head round this.

One of the biggest things I’ve noticed is the very basic fact that Mike Ashley’s companies have a vice like grip on Rangers. Just about any scenario plays out here and he holds the Aces. Do not let anyone tell you any different, that is definite.

There’s no surprise in that to any of us I know, but when you stop and add it all up, then you do see just how insanely difficult this or any other board at Rangers job is and will continue to be. 

Those contracts and documents I read – and some of them are mind blowing – got me thinking of the implications if certain things arose.

Now, at the time of the general meeting Dave King was meeting Mike Ashley. The vote on paying Sports Direct back the £5 million was very close but the shareholders voted in favour of not doing so. All I can say to that is that decision will make it extremely difficult to get any sort of credit from anyone.

A simple analogy – you borrow £100 off your mate and he says “Gimme it back when you have it.” Then you spout off that you’ve just won a grand on the lottery, he asks for it back and you say “Nah, doesn’t suit me to pay it just now.” Word spreads and none of your mates will ever lend you money again.

This hasn’t gone unnoticed, Rangers are never not in the news so you can be sure that decision will likely be a thorn in our side.

In saying that right enough, I have a hunch it suits BOTH parties for it not to be paid. Those that know the ramifications will be fully aware that to a certain degree this is a bit of a red herring.

From looking at the loan agreement, Sports Direct keep a tight grip on Rangers Retail, but it also allows Ashley to keep tabs on everything that goes on also.

That’s the question we should be asking, why allow that to happen? Smoke and mirrors here. His grip on RR is blatantly obvious but why continue to allow this to go on if you are in a position to stop it?

His sportswear empire has made him a very rich man, he’s also an extremely powerful person in regards to the sway he has. Looks to me like we are making ourselves and our brand toxic by vilifying this man and his company.

I’m sure he could quite easily cause Rangers no end of trouble if he felt he wanted to. That’s one of the things I don’t get in all this.

What do sponsors think? What are future potential business partners making of this? Any time a Rangers board goes to the negotiating table this will be fresh in the memory, don’t doubt it because that’s a fact. Our boardroom battles are destroying or have destroyed our potential earnings as much as any one sided deal is.

One final note on these contracts, since the SFA hauled Ashley up for breaching dual ownership rules, look at how much more has come into the public domain in respect to the influence a man with less than 9% of the shares actually has. I don’t see the SFA doing anything about it right enough.

Interesting times ahead on that front but to be fair if you read the mainstream media then everything is hunky dory at Rangers. Nothing to see but good things, positive things, on another Level in fact.

I’ve honestly got to say this – its no wonder newspaper sales are on their arse with the utter shite they print.The battle for the boardroom was won due to a PR battle that the previous incumbents seemed incapable of understanding at times.

Mike Ashley might be a multi billionaire but his PR drive at Rangers has been shockingly inept. I say that with a straight face as well. There seemed an incredible ignorance of the situation. For a guy that’s so successful in business you’d think he’d get it eh?

King and the 3 Bears though?

Sounds like a Hans Christian Anderson story and it’s certainly a mystery.

The thing is, we can see the strings very clearly but the real question is: Who are the puppets and who is the puppeteer?

What we have learned from the recent takeover at Ibrox is that journalism in Scotland is dead. Media outlets seek to outdo themselves in fawning over the new regime in the Blue Room.

Objective journalism which would seriously probe Dave King and his board is virtually impossible in Scotland these days. As a Rangers supporter I abhor media prejudice against my team. But I have no objection to serious, impartial investigation because, as we heard all throughout the tenure of the last board, Rangers boards should be squeaky clean.

The media in Scotland is clearly on a “Back off Rangers” instruction in terms of this new board. It isn’t just anti-Rangers bloggers who are seeing this.

I agree with my pal Merlin on this i.e. we don’t want a tilted table. We want a level playing field which means full transparency on all sides and from every club. Media bias sits uneasy with me and many of my fellow bears, whether against or for Rangers.

Much was made of the role Jack Irvine played in the previous regime’s tenure. People were uncomfortable at the influence a PR agency had in the running of Rangers. You have to say, all that has changed is the agency. Sometimes you even have to wonder who is instructing who as regards to the club.

I don’t want a “spun” Rangers. I want the REAL Rangers. I want PR to have its right place, not be the epicentre of the club.

I want the truth about new personnel we appoint, not the spin that makes the manager the new Mourinho or every player a Galactico somehow hiding in the lower divisions. Merlin and I keep saying the uncomfortable truth – Rangers right now is a Championship club. That is our level.

The thing is, spin only works on people who like to be spoonfed. That is a fair chunk, yes, but there are plenty in our support who are more discerning. Like me. I have been getting dog’s abuse for some of my stuff on here but I am a stubborn bastard and won’t be told to shut up. In fact all it does is make me more determined.

My real question is: Why do people want to shut us up? Why is there a concerted campaign to shoot down my blogs and Merlin’s?

You see, if your intentions are good and you have nothing to hide, you don’t try and silence people who oppose you. You either engage in reasoned debate or you just ignore the voices of dissent.

The problem those who abuse us have is that those voices of dissent are growing.

As the old saying goes, you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

The online bampots are hysterical, they’re crazed and angry. The reason for that is simply because what’s being said on this site is getting under their skin.

There are people on here being accused of being this guy or that guy. I’ve been accused of being someone else, Merlin accused of all sorts and people that contribute to this blog are being vilified and accused of being someone they’re not. Every accusation – UNTRUE. And laughably so.

Here’s me thinking “We are the People” as well, eh… You gotta laugh, it’s wonderful to know that all others can do is behave like bullies in the playground that don’t know how to handle it when other kids won’t cower or bow to them.

I despise being bullied and I tend to find I tackle it head on. Don’t like us, don’t read us but we will continue to do what we do whether those wee boys like it or not. They’re an irrelevance to us.

Remember one thing here kiddies, the traffic coming through this site is THROUGH THE ROOF!!

And membership of the RSL is steadily growing.

You worried or what?

Well, much of it is down to you.  

 Good luck to him. He’ll need it.

Ah, well. At least they have something to look forward to. It must hurt like hell looking back.

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Chris Jack added to the good cheer with this insightful prediction, from an old pal of Marky Mark Warburton.

MARK WARBURTON will lead Rangers to the top of Scottish football within three years – and could revolutionise our game in the process.

Image result for for fucks sake are you serious

That was the prediction from Justin Andrews, one of Warburton’s partners on the NextGen series, today as he forecasts a bright Light Blue future. 

Warburton was appointed Rangers boss last week as the Ibrox board moved to lure the highly-rated coach and sought-after manager to the club to spearhead the Gers rebuilding job this summer. 

Bob The Builder

The 52-year-old was the brains behind the NextGen series alongside Andrews and Brentford chairman Matthew Benham before being given his big break at the Bees.

Blow for English football’s top young players as NextGen Series suspended for a season after failing to secure funding

Warburton has a huge task on his hands to return Rangers to their former glories, but sports producer Andrews has high hopes for his friend at Ibrox.  

He told SportTimes: “Rangers are going to be the best team in Scotland within three years. I can guarantee that 100 per cent.

crazy

Mark will want to play European football. 

“His first objective is to make the stadium a great place to go and watch football again.  

See. It’s not all bad news for them..

And there’s a sale on at Sports Direct !

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 It’s not just Second Rangers fans who are created for our own amusement.

Now that Hearts are back at the top level, they can provide a chuckle or two as well.

 It appears that one of their number has decided to sell his match day outfit;

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Back to the good guys, and it will soon be time for our supporters club AGM. Still to talk the wife into letting me go this year after last years turned into a bit of a farce.

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Actually, let’s leave that as today’s caption competition.

By the way, i have noticed that one or two readers have commented on the fact there is no prize and no winner.

Well, you’ll have to speak to our marketing director about that.

Rangers to launch ‘Crossbar Challenge’.. with £1m prize on offer

 

Charles green

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mr greene
8 years ago

The Deeds, the Deeds, Show me the Deeds, I know the Deeds are in here ……. ®

HoudiniBhoy
8 years ago
Reply to  mr greene

Deeds is deid after all!!

8 years ago
Reply to  mr greene

I think the deeds were in that burnt coach …

Jerseybhoy
8 years ago

Strange things they sell in Embra.Someone is selling Royal Urine in column two .

BJF
8 years ago

Ralph liked your take on the Herald’s account of the Ronnie’s press conference . The paper had a Neil Cameron writing its article. Surprised you let him away with:”The embarrassment of last year’s disastrous Champion’s League double elimination- Celtic were knocked out at this stage by Legia Warsaw only to be reinstated…. ,only to be sent packing again by Icelandic minnows K R Rekjavik in the next round.” And there’s me thinking we took 9 of them.

how do they appoint these journalists, obviously checking your facts isn’t high up the priority list, “Neil just one question in your interview, What is football?” Neil “Is it a place you do your weekly shop?” “Close enough, you are now a Herald Football writer.”

By the way has one of the “Three Bears” gone walk about,only two seem to get mentioned these days?

Spectrum is Green
8 years ago

Ralph, how did you miss Super Salary in the Hun’s advert? He squeezed in – no mean feat for a man of his size – between the German lad and Ricksen. BTW, who’s the would-be Celtic player enjoying a pint?

kevlar
8 years ago

I thought the would-be player looked like Joe Cole. maybe im wrong though

jebus
8 years ago

just to say i think the scottish football fans telling sky to ram it up their arse is starting to work, they have phoned me 4 times in the past 2 months offering various deals, keep at it bhoys n ghirls

Ralph malph
8 years ago
Reply to  jebus

Not rang me yet.

bgbhoy
8 years ago

its ian black

Run Sammy Run
8 years ago

Aye yer R2-D2 is fucked mate

The real anton rogan
8 years ago
Reply to  Run Sammy Run

😀

Brilliant

8 years ago

Ninjaman’s blog piece suggests that the penny has finally dropped with at least one corner of the lapton loyal that – those bears of more than very little brains -that the new KInh has no clothes. Some of his comments about the stenographers in the Scottish media being in the pocket confirm what WE have been saying for ages

pensionerbhoy
8 years ago

Ralph

How long can you keep this up? The Diary is such a good read these days, I am reaching the stage I am not sure I want the season to start. Even the non Celtic stuff is approaching classic status. For while it looked like Phil MacGiolla Bhain had changed his nom de plume reading that NinJaman piece. I thought Pentecost was about a month ago. It would appear the enlightenment arrived late in Govan. Still, better late than never. I feel the poor fellow will be ploughing a lone furrow though. The vast majority of bears prefer to run wild devouring any tasty scraps they find lying around. And there are plenty in the media perfectly happy to drop their rubbish just where it lands. I do hope something does come of it, mainly THE END of what all the exs seem to have agreed, even though in denial as their memories get shorter by the day, is a NEW club. That way, perhaps, Scottish football might scrub itself down and make a fresh start.

Caption: Head binger? Yuk!

H H

The real anton rogan
8 years ago

Game is on the Wednesday, 7:45 ko

Atlantabhoy
8 years ago

I will probably get accused of being Deadhied, but that article from NInjaman actually makes me feel there is hope for the Hordes yet.
I actually don’t mind Huns like that, real supporters who just want to get back to football. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying all this pain and suffering immensely and actually do not wish to see Sevco get to the SPFL, but it is sill refreshing to see one of them with, what seems to be, a wee bit of humility and realism.

Incoming?

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