Celtic Diary Monday September 24

Celtic climbed up to third in the Premier League table with a 2-0 win over Dundee at Celtic Park. Former keeper Rab Douglas , now playing with the Dens Park side, saved a Scott Brown penalty, but another Mestalla style performance would have been required to keep the Celts out. Although it was only two, it could have and should have been, well, at least three.

Manager Neil Lennon admitted that the missed chances are “a concern”, but went on; “What isn’t a concern is the chances we are creating because we are doing that on numerous occasions in games-but I would like to see us start putting a few more away. We lacked a little quality at times in the final third but the build up play was pretty good and defensively we looked pretty comfortable allafternnoon. ” Summing up, he just said it was a good performance and three points, which is what he wanted.

The game was always going to be a wee bit flat after Wednesdays exertions, but the players certainly had a go. With Motherwell dropping points, those three Celtic gained could be crucial come May. Oh alright, i was just trying to make it sound exciting.

Any win after a champions League game is worth double points, anyway.

At risk of sounding like former pundit Derek johnstone-I think he’s a former pundit, surely no-one has been daft enough to hire him-some one is going to get a pasting-or as he once said -right doing-when it all clicks, but to be honest, someone gets a proper thrashing every now and then every season. (note, a thrashing in this context refers to a heavy defeat on the football field, and not a night out with your local conservative mp.)

Another former Celtic keeper has been in the news this weekend, with Polish loony Artur boruc joining English Premier league side Southampton,  which he will find different from his days with Celtic and fiorentina. Still, he has defenders of quality in front of him, such as Jos hooiveld and Danny Fox, the latter apparently played for Celtic as well, but was only here for one half of a season so we never really saw the best of him. Or perhaps we did….

He plays for Scotland, at football, surprisingly, since he is neither Scottish or a footballer. Good luck , Artur. You are going to need it.

With our own new signing Lassad Niouiou looking the part on Saturday, his fellow new forward Miku has admitted he has been surprised, but delighted , with the intensity of playing for Celtic. The inquest after the St. johnstone defeat, and the atmosphere at the benfica game has left him screaming for more, so at least the attitude is there. Strange how that paragraph follows one on Danny Fox.

Next up are Raith Rovers tomorrow night in the League cup, and although a big crowd is not expected, a big cheer for Turnbull Hutton is. The Raith chairman , of course, was one of the men who helped to make sure that the phoenix Rangers club would start life in division three, instead of being parachuted into the first Division.

These plans to gerrymander the Newco into a higher division, if they accepted their guilt after years of cheating may yet backfire on the compliant Football Associations. Draft documents outlining these proposals have been “leaked ” to the press, just in time, to help the media spin their story about Rangers having being punished enough.

Despite, er, Rangers not existing anymore, and the Newco having no links to them at all. Except the same staff, management, brand name, premises and customers. All of which will come back to haunt them when BDO, the liquidators, and HMRC finally get round to asking for their bit.

The Newco, of course, is still frantically trying to raise a stock market flotation, and owner and part time comedian Charles Green is over in the USA raising awareness for his club. apparently, Adidas, the German sportswear manufacturer will be making their shirts and become involved in the marketing of what their spokesman, according to Fellow Newco owner Imran Ahmed, is the “biggest club on their books”

Except, obviously, Milan, Bayern Munich , Real Madrid, Lyon, Chelsea etc…

JJB, who also went into business with Rangers, will be appointing administrators this week, and the hunt to find anyone  still selling MacEwans Lager has now entered its tenth year….

Good luck, Charlie, if I was you i’d be asking for help from those guys who paid to remove Craig Whytes google history.

Ally McCoist, the cheery chunky chap who has been charged with getting the club back to the top, has admitted its tough, and its starting to wear him down. Fortunately, as he is quite portly, it’ll take a while to wear him down. but gone is the cheerful and defiant stance he took at the start of the season. Reality is biting, and it has a lot to sink its teeth into.

Fridays teaser was answered correctly by honeybhoy, who remembered? that it was Leslie Johnston, snapped up from Clyde for £12,000 in 1948. Today, who was the first player that Celtic received a seven figure fee for?

Now, we’ve had the holy Poet in the diary before, and continuing in that vein, here is a wee poem , sent in by Gedbhoy, which should raise a smile or two.

 

I had a dog

Its name was Shug

I bought it from a man

His nose was red

His team was blue

He sold it from a van

 

My dog had died

I missed it so

I had to fill the void

I looked at Shug

He looked at me

I thought of Tommy Boyd

 

I brought Shug home

I showed him round

I fed him bowls of meat

He barked he licked

He bit the wife

I thought him rather neat

 

I gave Shug walks

I threw him sticks

He frolicked in the snow

He seemed to be the perfect dog

So how was I to know?

 

He had a secret deep and dark

As black as any cave

For Shug was born down Govan way

He had no soul to save

 

The truth came out

One awful day

When kick off time drew near

For Celtic had been doing well

A good start to the year

 

Soon came the opening Rangers match

The telly was warmed up

I sat to cheer the mighty Hoops

With at my feet the pup

 

 

Shug loved me – so I just assumed

He also loved my team

But dark as any traitor’s heart

Were Shuggy’s thoughts so mean

 

The match kicked off

The fans all cheered

I shouted Up the ‘Tic!

Well Shug got up and growled at me

His jowls awash with spit

 

He bared his teeth

He shook his head

He dribbled on the floor

His bulging eyes were filled with hate

His mouth let out a roar

 

Shug just stared and barked at me

He looked like Richard Nixon

Mistakes like this I couldn’t make!

I’d bought Fernando Ricksen!

 

The match went on, shots came and went

The score it stayed nought – nought

Shug settled down – the spittle stopped

He thought the Celts were caught

 

He growled a bit from time to time

The second half flew by

It seemed the Gers would get a point

and leave with heads held high

 

But wait, what’s this? a final burst

And Thommo was the boss!

He trapped the ball as blue men closed

And set his sights on Klos

 

Now Shug could see the danger there

For Rangers it was bad

The Thompson gun was primed and cocked

We’d time to do it lads!

 

 

The shot was struck

It swooped and curved

Klos tried to grab thin air

The ball whizzed by

The net it bulged

I screamed with not a care

 

But Shug got up

his face all puce

and maddened by this farce

He lunged at me

Mouth flecked with foam

And bit me on the arse

 

I cried in pain

And threw him off

But he prepared to jump

He’d tasted blood

He wanted more

A juicy Timmite rump

 

He dived – I ducked

He got it wrong

The window wasn’t shut

My head he missed by just a hair

My flat is ten floors up

 

So out the window Shuggy went

For fortune can be hard

I thought I heard his dying bark

Before he hit the yard

 

I’m sure I heard his final cry

He fell like Humpty Dumpty

We arra people! Fenian clown!

1-0 ya canine numpty!

 

I’ve got a cat now Shug has gone

Goes by the name of Tim

Its fur is green, its eyes are white

It’s sleek and smart and slim

 


It sits with me to watch the games

It purrs and gets a cuddle

My feline chum who loves the kids

And always does the Huddle

 

If there’s a moral to this tale

It’s ‘look before you leap’

And pick a team the fans all love

For loyalty is cheap

 

I’m sad Shug’s gone

But life is tough

For some it’s just a slog

If Celtic isn’t in your heart

For you it’s dog eat dog.

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Pat Smith
8 years ago

Frank Mcavennie?

Paul McClintock
8 years ago

stuart slater

Aurelio Zen
8 years ago

Super stuff, Gedbhoy
If there was a Turner prize for poetry…

8 years ago

Usual quality, Ralph. Need to tell wee Lennie that I have been doing the best scone mix for years but I have never baked one good one. Maybe the chances and goals could be a bit the same. As for the humping, doing and thrashing – I will wait and see the priest.
Gedbhoy, I was so carried away with your masterpiece, I have just hugged the dug to death. Ah well, I should save a fortune as he is – was – the biggest eater in the house. Good one mate!
I am fairly sure on the quiz today – Brian McClair from Murderwell?

H H to each and every one

TLOPG
8 years ago

Sadly not Brian McClair (although it should have been) as the tribunal stiffed us good and proper – awarding us £850,000.

My guess would be Frank McAvennie…

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