The Bunnet – Part 3

(Part 2) The Moneylenders are being held at bay by brave Keen John of TrueTimaloy while Fergo GolfBaggins and Dempster the Grey Quiff race to combat the Smugg T’Board Dragon to free the people of Para D’ice

The Desolation of Smugg

 The tall grey man, reached over and gave his small companion a soft nudge, and then said “Fergo, we’re here. Lets go!”. The sleeping Fergo muttered “Leave it right, its ma Mulberry bread” before slowly opening his eyes to view his friend offering him a hand up onto his feet. The carriage from Kahnahda had stopped just to the west of the jungle lands of Para D’ice in the strangely patterned lands known as A’bots I’nch

“Dempster!, is it time?, what of the plan?” said the small member of the partnership as he rose and quickly picked up his Mulberry bread parcel and put it in his bag, zipped it, then padlocked it and immediately began exiting the carriage along with his companion.

“It is time” said Dempster “Keen John may have bought us just enough time. The money lenders are content for now but they will return, they always do. There is talk of the Dragon moving to the Bog lands of Kambus but even the charlatan Kassidee did not believe such a silly rumour.”

“And Miglone? “What news of our champion?” asked Fergo

Dempster took a moment and looked around carefully before bending low and whispering into Fergos small hairy ear “Miglone of the Mattlands continues his campaign over ground and across the sea-ess-seas. He has sent word. He says the people are ready, they just need one last push.”. “Excellent” said Fergo “Come, we have some tasks before we face the Dragon, first we must journey to speak to the half blind Oracle of Wunoh Tophive”

Dempster waved down the attention of a carriage driver and he and his smaller companion entered. “Where to?” asked the driver. “East, up through the 3 coloured Gate of Gallow and onto the Long Done road” replied Fergo before adding “And mind we’ve no luggage so don’t try adding any surcharge onto the final price pal” . The drivers face turned red as he ushered the carriage out onto the pathway. The adventure was heading East.

Many miles away, in a long dark room, the hideous creature M’Kel sat ruminating. It was true he was scary, it was true he was sleekit, but it was also true that he was no fool. Hadnt he once had the people across the Shire love him. They had even made him the Provost of the Dear Green Valley at one point and thanked him for giving them flowers and festivals. “Flowers, festivals, how people were so easily fooled back in those days”, thought M’kel. Now though, now was different. He had heard about the rousing words of Miglone of the Mattlands. He had seen reports sayin the support of the people was turning away from the Dragon and T’Board. He knew it would soon be time to stand and fight. He was determined he would not suffer, it had taken him too long to become powerful. Whoever came for the Dragon, would have to go through M’kel first, and he would be ready for them.

The carriage pulled up as instructed and Dempster exited and turned immediately in surprise. The sight that he beheld was not what he expected. “What is this Fergo?” he asked “I thought the half Blind Oracle of Wunoh Tophive lived on the banks of the silver river Klide, why are we in this coach park near the dragons wall?”. “Pay the driver then come along” replied the passing Fergo.

Dempster did as instructed and followed Fergo in the dark scary area. Dempster could see the foreboding walls of T’Board rising in front of him and felt the dreaded nerves return. Suddenly Fergo said “There, Over there, look, it’s the Oracle” and he pointed to his right. Dempster turned and shivered once more. He knew this could be make of break time, many had encountered the Oracle, few smiled at the memory of such a meeting.

These days much is said about the half blind Oracle of Wunoh Tophive. Some say he actually came from the land of the people of Para D’ice but then had his head turned by evil barons in the dark south west kingdoms. He had indeed been gifted but before long no longer spoke the truth and only repeated what he was told or simply conjured up silly images to pass as meaningful insights. It is said that his vision skills were never the same after he claimed to see the contraction of Afar Gorge in a nightmare and foolishly told everyone in the Shire to prepare for doom. No contraction existed and the oracles voice died alongside his dead reputation today. That’s is now of course. But then. Then was a different time altogether.

The Oracle was inside a small white carriage with red livery on the side. Fergo and Dempster entered. The oracle was truly the creature of legend. It had a small squat hairy face, it was indeed half blind and wore massive glass goggles to help it see the future, and it seemed anything right in front of it. The oracle bade Fergo to come closer and said “So Fergo Golfbaggins, tis time to play this Oracles game. Win and I will help you, lose and I shall help crush you.” Said the Oracle. “So be it” said Fergo, who moved forward and took his seat facing the weird creature.

“ Fergo Golfbaggins, Tell me For what do you seek?” stated the half blind oracle of Wunoh Tophive

“Dear Oracle I humbly seek Fudiciary control and a maximized powerbase” replied Golfbaggins.

“What in the what now?” asked the puzzled Oracle before adding “And call me Hugh”.

“Hugh, I want to slay the dragon and put the people in charge” replied Fergo.

“To slay a dragon, one man needs an army” replied the hairy faced Oracle named Hugh.

“ Or an army needs one man” countered Fergo.

“Haud oan, or a what needs a what?” puzzled the half blind Hugh before asking “Who’s meant to be the Oracle here. Haud oan, gies a second, a man, an army and a dragon walk into a pub, naw haud oan..”.

Dempster could see the Oracle was very confused and very unhappy. All the while Fergo continued to smile while sat in front of the strange creature. The Oracle finally gave up trying to work out Fergo’s riddle and screamed “That’s it, beat it Golfbaggins, ahm no helping you any” to which Fergo smiled even wider and replied “You already have!”.

As Dempster and Fergo departed the white carriage of Wunoh Tophive, the Oracle turned his half blind eye and let out a long low curse, a curse that he would hold forever against Fergo and the people of Para D’ice. The hopeless Oracle had left the on-air microphone on and now everyone in the Shire had heard the rallying call from Fergo GolfBaggins.

Fergo and Dempster journeyed back towards the tall walls of T’Board and out of the darkness of the coach park. The reached the walls end and as they stepped back into the light. Dempster felt a clap on his back and heard Fergo say “See Dempster, I told you”. Dempster stood there and gasped.

In front of Fergo and Dempster stood all the people of Para D’ice. They had gathered below the Dragons walls, led there by Miglone, the Herald of the Mattlands and his crew. The people roared when they saw Fergo and Dempster come around the corner and move forward towards the Dragons lair.

The tall grey Dempster protected the diminutive Fergo as they moved on through the cheering crowd. Dempster smiled as the humble Fergus would react to every shout of his name by simply nodding and saying “Don’t forget your prospectus, coming soon”. Eventually, they reached the steps where Miglone, herald of the Mattlands stood waiting.

Miglone shook hands with both Dempster and Fergo.

Miglone then turned to the smaller companion and said “Everything is in place. Do you have it?”

“I do” said Fergo, who tapped his hands on his bag. Fergo then opened the padlock, opened the bag, and revealed 9.4 million in florins.

“Wow” said a gob-smacked Dempster while wondering where he had left all his receipts.

Fergo closed the bag, slung it across his shoulder and said “Dempster, lets go, time to end this thing! Miglone, you keep the people happy for now, this wont take long”. Fergo then strode forward, paused to take one last cheer from the people of Para D’ice and then turned and entered the Dragons lair.

The lair was cold dark and very unwelcoming thought Dempster as he looked ahead for Fergo. Dempster passed walls where he could see faded green images, they looked like ghosts in the dim light passageway. Dempster thanked his lucky grey quiff when he finally caught up with the strident Fergo whos attention seemed to far away in the darkened distance.

“STOP” suddenly exclaimed Fergo and he put one hand across Dempsters path, and another across the bag.

Suddenly there was a loud noise and a crack of light pierced the far end of the hallway before the darkness returned and a soft dull sound began echoing around the hallway. Fergo’s stayed perfectly still and his hands remained in place while Dempster grew ever more nervous. “Fear not, for here only comes the Monkey” whispered Fergo to his companion. Dempsey then realized the dull sounds where growing ever louder before he realized they were in fact the sound of footsteps growing closer. After what seemed an eternity, M’kel stepped from the shadows.

“GolfBaggins, and the deluded Dempster. Is this the best the people of Para D’ice has to offer?” snarled M’kel.

Dempster wanted to shout out at the hideous and loathsome creature in front of he and Fergo but Fergo had already held up his hand to demand silence. It was clear to Dempster, Fergo was in no mood for idle talk.

“You are M’kel” said Fergo bluntly.

M’kel made a slight tilt with his skeletal stony head in acknowledgement and then said “I am M’kel. Former provost of the Green valley. Child of the long dark legacy of Smugg the Dragon. Protector of the T’Board. Those who know me fear me. You shall not pass, not today, not ever”

Dempster gulped loudly, but Fergo remained as still as a loving cup in an empty trophy room.

“We have not met but I know you M’Kel. I have encountered your kind many times. From my old days running the Chariots of Kroi on adventures across the 5 realms. I know your kind from all the way to the leadership battles of the Sea-Ess-Sea. I know your kind through my days in the West lands fighting with the many Captains of Gawlf with their impetuous demands and their greed. I know you, and I know what it will take to defeat you!”

Dempster watched on as M’kel stared back blankly at Fergo before M’Kel said “And tell me, what will it take Gawlf man?”

“This!” replied Fergo who immediately let his hand holding the bag go. The bag dropped and suddenly the hallways was filled with golden light. Dempster feaqred he was going to go blind but even he could see the look of greed and lust that had appeared on M’kel’s stony face.

“This is what you want” continued Fergo, running his hands deep through the golden coins. “this is all a creature like you understands. This is what you see as a voice in this world. This is what you deem of worth. You are wrong. The people are the only voice. The People are the only worth. If this is what you want, so be it, here, take it!”. And with that Fergo scooped a large handful from the bag and through it out a nearby open doorway where it landed with a dull heavy thud. M’Kel watched Fergo’s throw land and immediately raced through the darkened doorway to grab the treasure.

As M’kel fell through the doorway, Fergo shouted “Qucik Dempster, lock it, He shall trouble us no more. His greed shall be his downfall as I suspected!”. Dempster bolted the door as told and returned to Fergo. “I don’t understand Fergo, why did you give so much gold to M’Kel” said Dempster. Fergo laughed “I wouldn’t give that creature 1 Kroi Fyndyme let alone my gold.” And Fergo brought up his hand to show he was holding the empty wrapping paper for the Mulberry Bread. Dempster realized Fergo had thrown the bread rather than the treasure and smiled. “I hope he doesn’t get indigestion eating such humble pie” laughed Fergo and gathering up the bag, he nodded for them both to move forward.

The dragon lay behind the next door.

Dempster pushed against the large door and slowly it opened up to reveal a waiting Smugg the T’Board Dragon who sat in the middle of a large open room.

“Fergo Golfbaggins, come forward, we have been expecting you” said the head named Kellikev.

Fergo went to move forward but Dempster placed his hand on his smaller companions shoulder. “It may a trap” warned Dempster before adding “They might eat you alive”. “Their dragon heads, not Orks” said Fergo, who smiled at ripping off a joke from The Thick of It and moved forward to meet with the Dragon.

The dragons heads all faced Fergo and the head named Phar-L said “See he holds no sword, he does not mean to destroy us as M’kel warned”.

Fergo stopped halfway between Dempster and the Dragon and smiled.. For now he could truly see the Dragon. Fergo could see how much it had suffered through years or neglect and abuse. The dragon was bloated, tired and looked in extremely poor health. This was no robust creature at its maximum fighting weight. This was a has-been, a never-was, a shadow of a former glory.

Fergo knew what was needed and once again, his hand let go of the bag.

Each of the dragons heads let out a soft sad sigh as the gold spilled onto the floor.

“You wish to feed us?” asked the head named Grantam.

“We thought you wished to slay us!” exclaimed the one named Whitehead.

“The choice is yours” said Fergo. “The Gold is yours, and the money lenders that you owe of course for I shall breach no debt like some charlatan from the eastern shire of Muhray. Choose now and I advise you choose the Gold and go!”.

“And if we do not?” asked the one named Migiyn.

Dempster watched as Fergo took a breath and then straightened his back before replying “If you do not then I cannot protect you”

“You protect us?” asked Whitehead before adding “From what can a small creature like you protect us from, that we cannot protect ourselves”

“It is from yourselves that I can protect you” said the calm and impressive Fergo. “Your days are gone, your people are no longer your people. Your protectors protect themselves and themselves alone. I promise you that you may go, quietly into the dark night and none shall come for you. You may even still claim to be from the Shire of Para D’ice and none shall dispute that claim. But go you must. If you do not. I cannot hold back the people and their will is strong. You threatened them with the Orks and they will never forgive. I can at least help them forget”.

The dragon heads curled back into the shadows and Fergo and Dempster could hear only snippets of gnarled sounds as the dragons fate was decided. Finally, the heads curled back and as many fell low and to the ground, Kellikev raised his to face Fergro and said “Fergo Golfbaggins, you state the truth and you talk with honour. We shall go, taking the gold of course, for we are still a greedy dragon after all. We wish you well Fergo, treat the people of Para D’ice better than we have done. Before we leave, is our business complete?”

Fergo began to nod when Dempster ran up and whispered once again in his ear. Fergo really really wished he would chuck that habit but after listening, he nodded and turned once more to face the dragon. “There is but one thing. M’kel, we cannot protect the former protectors”.

“Leave M’kel to me” said the head named Phar-L and Fergo nodded.

The dragons head named Grantam then scooped up the bag and with a collective heads nod to Fergo and Dempster, the Smugg Dragon of T’Board took flight and departed.

The people of Para D’ice were finally free.

Fergo turned to see Dempster with tears of joy running down his cheeks. Dempster hugged Fergo and said “You must hurry to the main gates and give the victory message to the people…”. Fergo looked up at his tall beloved companion and said “You know what Dempster, I think you should be the one to tell them the good news”.

And with that the two companions left the room and headed  towards the gates and the long night of celebration ahead.