Football + Politicians = Head Balls!

With Jim Murphy becoming Leader of the Labour Upper Northern Branch Office, thats another political Celt in a position of power along with Tory Cabinet Advisor Lord Paradiso and Brian ‘Humbug’ Wilson, and less we forget the occasional chirp from former Director and now full time fax machine impersonator, Dr Michael Kelly.
 
With that in mind, we thought we’d see if any other politicos stack up football wise:

Quiet and modest yet clearly very talented, you get the impression he could easily impress many others with his talent  if given a wider audience. Its not to be as his devotion to the Green cause sees him stay home and fight to help raise up all around him.
Patrick Harvie is Paul McStay!
 
 
Attribute wise, we are talking ‘English’, Blondish hair and concerning weight fluctuations. Had managed to reach the very top  before a sudden fall from grace for reasons not clear or fully explained, but insists problems all lie with an aloof and detached Management.  Can be a touch moany to a sympathetic Press now and again but many will still feel its a shame to see a career fade away when everyone expected it to blossom after recent showings.
Kris Commons is Johann Lamont!
 
 
Stands on sidelines with 2 mates, pocketing loads of cash and no-one believes there is any talent there whatsoever. Regular mouthpiece to the Media who soak up every word despite it often being utter bollocks. An angry personality hides behind a thin veneer and everyone knows they’re only in their position due to older connections who recommended him for the role before they duly buggered off leaving a mess behind. Ally is Anas Sarwar!
 
 
A leaders confidence oozes out and he struts around the place upsetting anyone who dares relax in his presence. Suffered recent injuries but is indefatigable when it comes to getting back in there and getting in peoples faces. Possibly less aggressive and a little wiser at picking his fights these days, this battler can easily hold his own home or abroad and will always be there if called on, and sometimes even when not.
Scott Brown is George Galloway!
 

A little manic and rather highly strung, this small blonde character pops up every now and again and at times can strike with the best of them at times but in other times, leaves people just sighing and wondering why they even bothered turning up. Promised great things early on but soon found themselves a little fish in a big pond and despite claims of talent just doesnt seem to have that extra ability to step up and make a key position their own
Leigh Griffiths is Margaret Curran!
 
 
A sad whining character with a silly haircut who despite having no clear ability or vision has managed to reach the very top. Continues to have people screaming when they utter inane drivel rather than produce proper plans and leadership as expected from one in such a position. A healthy bank balance seems to help them sleep at night, quelle surprise.
Neil Doncaster is Ed Miliband!
 
Aloof and distant yet claims hes only acts in the common good. Serious concerns from the public in regards his history of handling money and teh question of assisting tax avoidance will not go away despite his constant praying that it does. Gradually working his way to the big job and heaven help us all if he claims that prize.
Campbell Ogilvie is George Osborne!
 
Small with a strange orangey-yellow-strawy barnet atop a head that seems a little too big for their body. This charismatic character has pushed themselves forward despite a few bad results along the way and now finds themselves leading a team with a growing support full of high expectation. The pressure is on. Has earned respect for showing consistent performances in recent times but 2015 will see their talent servely tested and no tartan shoes will save the day if it all goes wrong despite current well wishes.
Gordon Strachan is Nicola Sturgeon!
 
Despite his advancing years, continues to be extra lean,extra mean and very fit. Rejecting demotion and the claim that their best days are behind them this character continues to fight tooth, nail, and elbow to get back to where they belong. Despite ability being outpointed by Aggression, he sees the Media love everywhere he goes and is trying to replace that famous snarl with a smile.Only time will tell if a return to the very top awaits or is his a future crying to the Daily Record every week?
Jim Murphy is Lee McCulloch!
 
A right cheeky chappy. Everyones seen him in his long coat, deep pockets, big hands and short arms. Always happy to have a pint with the lads, a flirt with the lassies but always wth one eye on the cash. A City spiv who knows the score when it comes to talking the talk and can even walk the walk, here and abroad. Media lap him up and deny they failed to spot the true danger. While the majority of the public still dont trust a word he says, he has managed to get quite a few businessmen and punters to buy into the red white and blue dreams (un)freely available.
Charles Green is Nigel Farage!

A quiet figure who some actually respected for the way they went about their business in recovering a decimated outfit,especially compared to others in similar circumstances. Sadly  they have now tarnished themselves with recent attacks which left them looking isolated, back-stabbing and extremely naive and petty. Any good-will has been truly used up and relationships which could have improved have now returned to their previous sour nature. A shame.
Ann Budge is Wullie Rennie

A former wannabee “British bulldog” once beloved around Tynecastle despite a colourful past clashing with Authority figures and also scandals of acquiring monies by a dubious nature. This aged has-been is now seen on our screens lumbering slowly and embarrisngly to a dismal career end. No-one really understands how he even warrants an appearance these days, his input is erratic at best and all he seems to do is complain rather that contribute. Clearly his best days are long behind him. Should be put out to pasture long ago but while he is happy to be a “team-player” and kiss the badge on-demand, it seems there will always be a place available for such nasty limited characters in the scottish game.
Ian Black is George Foulkes!

A so called “powerhouse”, this character blew all the money, sold the family treasure,  borrowed like crazy and even helped divert funds from various other places to help hide his financial ineptitude when he was in charge. Now cast into the wilderness, with plenty of money stashed away of course,  he leaves behind a bankrupt and sorry state of affairs whilst loudly claiming it was nothing to do with him and strangely the Media lap  this story up. A reckoning awaits one day.
Sir David Murray is Gordon Brown

Sits there half asleep most of the time these days. Used to be respected but now, people forget that he is even still there. Shame it has come to this after early promise and good rapport with the Jinty McGinty West End fraternity but after so many times dropping the ball, hes probaby just happy edging towards that inevitable exit from the main stage and a comfortable lifetime in oblivion awaits.
Lukas Zaluska is Vince Cable!

A buffoon who despite talking absolute nonsense and demonstrating no talent whatsoever, has somehow risen to a position of incredible power in his field. Some say he may even go for THE big job in London which is unbelievable to all who have watched this inept and irresponsible blowhard demonstrate nothing but a complete misunderstanding of the consequences of his actions favouring the “Right” minded in our society.
Stuart Regan is Boris Johnston!

Tall, gangly and stands around doing nothing of any note, this chancer really is taking the piss when he tells us about the wonderful job he is doing and how much he is respected by everyone including the public. Came from absolute nowhere, as his lack of ability duly warrants, and he is destined to go back soon enough now that his outfits short spell in the spotlight looks soon to be over and they are destined for a horrible death. Which is nice.
Bilel Mosni is Danny Alexander!

Not seen for years despite previous years of constant speculation. Where is he, a nation demands to know!
Stuart Baxter is Lord Lucan!.