Thats a fairly new word these days, haters. Possibly coined by indignant supporters of the now defunct Rangers who couldn’t figure out why the rest of society wouldn’t tolerate non payment of taxes, non payment of creditors and Ally McCoist.

John Guidetti feels that he has had his share of haters, and doesn’t understand why.

“ Many people have thrown a bucket of shit on me” ( They have different habits in Sweden, presumably ) 

” There has been so much bad stuff written about me. What have I done to deserve so much hate towards me ? ” 

“ There will always be haters. It’s not that I was deliberately always on the bench or in the stands at Manchester City.

“I have always done my best. ” 

The impression he appears to have given is one of stubbornness , aggression and perhaps over confidence…

” But then I’m just at my best. I have to express myself that way. I’m better when I’m aggressive and angry. Even when I play with friends. ” 

Who tend not to be home when he chaps the door with a ball tucked under his arm.

Hopefully, he will have a bit of confidence and fight in him. It’s just what we need. Such a player can either be divisive or inspiring, and with any luck it’ll be the latter. We are short on inspiration just now.

The Swede also mentioned that other clubs were after him in the window, in that shy, introverted way of his;

” Aik Stockholm asked, as well as Celtic,  Olympiakos, Ajax, Fiorentina and Palermo also enquired ” 

So, why did he choose the footballing backwater of Glasgow ? ( copyright Scottish Mainstream Media -after all , without Rangers, it probably won’t last a full season. )

” I am pleased to be on show in Scotland. I want to prove that I am still here. ” 

He did hurt himself in training with Swedens under 21s, but x-rays showed no damage, which was disappointing for him, as an injury would have made him feel like a real Celt.

Oh. Well, at least he didn’t tell us about growing up watching Celtic, or getting the hoops as a birthday present, or finding Spearmint Pacers strangely alluring.

Why Celtic haven’t ordered a truckload of these from one of those retro sweetie websites is completely beyond me. Sell them at Celtic Park and and it would finance a move for Lionel Messi.

Incidentally, I’ve worked out why Messi is such a great player. It’s because he’s only a wee guy and opponents think he’s actually far away, and then, whoosh, he’s away by them.

Arthur Numan, who quit old Rangers when they offered him a pay cut-which actually probably meant they wanted him to start paying tax on his wages, has offered Virgil van Dijk some advice, and as yet, hasn’t sent him a bill. Thats because all income has to be registered correctly and declared to the financial authorities, which is an entirely new concept to the yet another recipient of the novel and refreshing way that salaries were paid during the Murray Years at Ibrox.

However, we hear he has asked him to lend him some money , and has promised faithfully to set aside the sum in his last will and testament.

Numan told van Dijk, via the Daily Record :

to leave Celtic at first opportunity to help his

international career

He does know that van Dijk is in the squad , doesn’t he ?

Euan MacLean, who put this nonsense together, gives a brief description of Numans career, and qualifications to be the man to listen to…

A former international star with 45 caps for the Oranje, Numan is well qualified to judge what it takes to become an established figure in one of the world’s best sides. 

The Oranje is, in fact , the colloquial term for the Dutch national side, and not the now extinct bastion of bigotry that he joined when he was a player.

“If he gets the chance Virgil should go to England in January or at the end of the season. Over the last two seasons he has proved he is too good for Scottish football. 

 He’s only been here a year. This is what happens when you don’t pay tax. It’s not only your take home pay that doubles…

“If you are linked with some clubs in England it’s natural you are going to want to move away because you have Celtic in the top league here and who else? 

 Well, theres Inverness, for instance, who are top of the league having already beaten Celtic. Perhaps because they are flourishing in a league where one team doesn’t get honest mistakes and a compliant bank manager means they can start games, fairly optimistic that they are on a level playing field. Thats probably why their supporters are coming back as well.

“When a player comes to Scotland you spend a year or two trying to impress.

“But when you’re there four years and play Ross County seven times a season it can be hard to motivate yourself. You can stay too long. 

 Interviews can also be too long. Seven games against Ross County ? Yeah, that happens every year. Oh, and notice Virgil, who has been here for one year, has gone from two to now four years at Celtic.

“Maybe Virgil will think now he needs another step in his career. Going to England to play in one of the best clubs in Europe may be better for himself and for the national team. 

“If the Dutch coach comes over to see him play against Ross County he will wonder how Virgil would do against top international players. It’s hard to judge him when he is playing against strikers from a smaller team. 

 Whats he got against Ross County ?

“I think that was the reason he was never in Louis van Gaal’s squad for the World Cup. He plays in 
Scotland while the other Dutch players are in big competitions and that is probably why he was never chosen. 

 Or perhaps van Gaal just didn’t think he was ready then, and needed to prove himself.

“So in many ways he still has to prove himself.

Hang on, thats what I said

I always felt he was using Scotland as a stepping stone. 

“But he is good enough to play in England right now. However, Virgil has to stay focused with Celtic to make sure clubs in England show interest. 

 Van Dijk responded by asking the former Ibrox defender to “Gies fuckin peace, ya dobber “,

simultaneously showing he has begun to settle in Glasgow after all.

Gordon Strachan, who sometimes seems to need reminding he’s now the Scotland boss, and no longer at Celtic, has been praising winger Ikeche Anya, who has been a huge success since he was found loitering outside Strachans house with a Yes saltire.

 And he can’t understand why the lad is not already at Celtic-or some top flight English team.

 Describing Anyas goal against world champions Germany, Strachan said;

“When he was running through I thought, ‘Right, you’ve just sprinted 30 yards and now you’re up against the best goalie in the world.’ But he stuck it away as if it was a training game.” 

“The coaching staff scratch our heads and wonder why he is not playing in the English Premier League? It’s not mugs he’s playing against – it’s Germany, Croatia, Belgium and England. 

To be fair, the coaching staff consists of Stuart McCall and Mark McGhee, who scratch their heads when they are trying to figure out which shoe goes on which foot. Otherwise, he does have a point.

“Macedonia were no mugs either and he scored against them too. ” 

“He could go to a Celtic or to a club in the English Premier League no bother. He can play different positions too which makes him even more valuable.

“He can play on the left as he did against Germany, he can play on the right side, he can even play left-back. 

Left back ?

That was Danny Crainie in yesterdays picture, and today we’ve decided to go back to the old caption competition, always popular, especially when theres a picture like this on the web…

Meanwhile, the Better Together campaign have stepped up the pace to convince Scots that the future lies with them….

 Finally, Sky Sports News have reported on the “Old Firm Alliance, where young lads play football in the colours of Celtic and Rangers, and then swap shirts to play in the colours of the “enemy “

 I tried this once, many , many years ago. Despite my concerns, and my loathing for the blue shirt and all it stood for., after all, it was for charity, so I thought I’d wear it. You know, swallow my initial misgivings, and perhaps even do a little bit towards preventing the scourge of sectarianism from gaining a foothold in society.

Never a fuckingain.