The government are setting up a new Food Crime unit, causing a massive re-think at Celtic Park, and a meeting with the catering company has been scheduled for Monday. We hear it will be chaired by Gordon Ramsay, who , predictably , will advise the caterers to source their food locally.
Deep fried Mars Bars wrapped in potato scones it is then.
As if manager Ronny Deila didn’t have enough to worry about, as soon as he finally gets to spend money on a player in Stefan Scepovic, the man who nearly signed for Getafe instead, until they told him to, er, Get aff, another expresses his delight in joining Celtic and although he goes through the usual nonsense about the clubs history, the fantastic support and how he grew up watching Henrik Larsson, this time there appears to be more than a grain of truth in the words.
“It’s really nice to be part of Celtic.
“I was standing in a coffee house yesterday when I got the news and I was actually dancing because I was so happy. I really was buzzing.
“Everybody knows what a great football club this is, especially in Sweden when Henrik Larsson was playing here. It’s also a very well-known club because of the fans, who are so passionate and brilliant.
“Even the people at City told me about the European nights. They said it’s the best atmosphere in the world. People just don’t say that for no reason and it must be true because I’ve heard it from so many places.”
“I know Johan very well and I’ve spoken to Henrik a couple of times. I know what the fans are expecting but Henrik was an amazing striker and they are very big shoes to fill but I promise will do my very best to do even a little bit of what he did.
“It’s a lot to live up to and I’m going to do my best.
“They just told me what a great club it is and it’s not for no reason that Henrik stayed for so many years. He was very much wanted in Europe, we all know that, because later he went to Barcelona and Manchester United, but he stayed because it was an amazing club to play for and that tells you all you need to know about Celtic.
“I know so much about Celtic. As soon as the club came for me I knew straight away, Celtic is the one and that’s where I want to go.
“I spoke to the manager and I felt a good connection with him and that Celtic was a club that knew about me and were genuine about what they liked, which is so important.
“With a good manager and good fans and players, you can never go wrong.
“I’m just going to work my socks off to try to do my absolute very best every game and give 100 per cent because that’s what the fans deserve.”
What is it about Scandinavians and taking their tops off. ?
That was Guidetti in 2011.
I’m going to dust off an old Abba video this afternoon, and see if its something the women do as well.
If Lionel Messi decided on a sudden switch to Celtic Park before the Aberdeen game there would be disappointment etched on 60,000 faces if it meant that John Guidetti was relegated to the bench. So Deila will have to abandon his one up front policy….
The Swede celebrated by scoring for his national under 21 side by ripping off his shirt to reveal a hoops shirt, and then ripped that one off to reveal one that said “up the Ra “.
We’ve got the video of the goal, courtesy of the Celts Are Here website, but not the celebrations, probably because they exist only in my mind, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were in his as well.
It must have impressed his new manager and his new team-mates , although Charlie Mulgrew was heard to groan
” Aw , bollocks, now they won’t even let me take free kicks. ”
The Daily Record was even forced into handing out praise for Celtics new strike force,
OUR Celtic fan blogger DANIEL COLE breaths a huge sigh of relief after the club secured not one but two quality strikers on loan.
They do know we bought one of them, don’t they ? Surely a Celtic fan blogger would have pointed that out to them ?
And if the Daily Record are hiring Celtic fan bloggers , why didn’t they pick me ? ( They’ve read the Diary-Ed )
I can talk shite better than most, and the track record of accuracy within the Diary pages is at least on a level with the mainstream media…
Actually, scratch that idea. I don’t fancy sitting amongst Daily Record hacks when the editor wants some ideas on how to arrest their falling circulation and reverse the trend before it joins the News of the World and Today in that great pulping machine in the sky.
Mind you, I’ll have a go.
They could make it more absorbent. And perhaps head a campaign for the return of coal fires, and give a freebie of a couple of sticks with every issue. That way we could use it to start the fire in the morning, and we wouldn’t have to worry about the embarrassment of the binman finding a copy by the side of our recycling box.
Early reports suggested that Guidetti would wear the number seven shirt as lazy hacks decided not to bother asking the club if it was correct. And even lazier Diary writers just accepted it as true, simply because it was in the papers.
Guidetti , according to the official website , will wear number nine. Apparently the club would rather earn money from hiring out the number seven slot via the match programme than actually paying someone to wear it.
For those who were interested in travelling to Salzburg on the clubs official charter, theres news that its been cancelled. Probably because supporters were unable to find a buyer for their houses in order to pay the fare.
Surely just once, a gesture from the club in subsidising a trip abroad for those who travel all the time ? Just once ?
They’ll probably do it when we draw Berwick, or when another Scots team makes it past the stages where we are kept apart.
By which time no-one reading this will be able to travel without two nurses, a wheelchair and a tartan rug.
Imran Ahmed, the man who wanted to ring fence his money owed from the clutches of the ring pieces at Ibrox was finally successful yesterday in court.
That means that the entrepreneurial businessmen currently running Ibrox can’t touch £600,000 of the cash they have in the bank, which in turn means that they have roughly enough money to last until Christmas, as long as they adhere to switching lights off when they leave the room, only filling the kettle to the amount they need, and wearing a nice woolly jacket during meetings.
It appears that they are about to mirror the previous club at Ibrox and suffer what is known as an insolvency event.
Which, given the antics of the owners, management and supporters won’t surprise anyone with a basic grasp of finance and economics.
Ally Mccoist is said to be shocked.
” How did this happen ? I demand to know names . ”
Actually, anyone with a basic knowledge in finance would have been buying up shares in the manufacture of Jelly and Ice Cream, because it appears they may be a sudden surge in demand.
Which reminds me, , the wee shop around the corner from me has been taken over by a right dodgy looking character. Yesterday , he looked around to make sure it was just me in the shop and whispered
“psssst, do you wanna buy some shit , man ? ”
I didn’t answer, but he was unperturbed, and threw a copy of the Daily Record on the counter.
I made my excuses and left.
Yesterday , we featured a picture of John Thomson, the legendary goalkeeper who passed away after a collision with Rangers forward Sam English on the 5th of September 1931.
He was not, as one since removed reply claimed , “murdered by a hun bastard ” . In fact, English suffered terribly after the accident, and died a broken man.
It was a tragedy, in more ways than one, and the readers on this site would acknowledge that.
Except one, obviously.
Come on. We’re above all that .
Today, we consider the whereabouts of another Celtic disaster.
Although this guy is probably someone we won’t be too concerned about remembering…
Bilbo wayne biggins
That’ll be the legend that is Wayne Biggins.
It,s no where near April fools day
Wayne biggins….the man who hsd to take a traim and a taxi to get to celtic park for signing talks…..thats the biscuit tin way of trying to impress a future employee.
If Guidetti looks like that with his shirt off, maybe we can convince Ronnie to add a prop to his formation. Our defense could use one …
Poor Biggins! Looks like he’s been shot at missed…or shit at and hit! Sign him on loan!
Looks just like the Traveller who once towed away my deid car for scrap.
So I guess you never found the shite he parked your Bin then?
Leve big Biggsy alone.
It’s not his fault he played in a shite team and has a daft name.
He tried his very best in every game he played for us (I was fortunate (?) enough to see them all.)
Shouldn’t have been here at all mind, but not his fault.
Hi. Someone please tell me what the new Food Crime Unit has to do with Ronny Delia? Ronny Delia deals with on field football matters not catering.
Higgins has changed since his dats in Porridge….
So has Biggins…
That went well Brian take the boxing gloves off BEFORE you type 😉
Very disappointed to hear of ex tims playing in an oldies match v the defunct club Rangers In Pieces to raise funds for the NO vote.Yet the fans can’t be political. Was director Wilson behind this?
biggins played 9 scored 0
balde played 24 scored 3
pukki 27 7
bangura 11 0
joe miller 152 28
archdeacon 76 6
melrose 30 7
All shit biggest disaster? your guess is as good as mine.