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Celtic Diary Thursday April 24-Goodbye Johann,and Thanks for the Memories

Apologies for yesterdays ommission of the diary. After several hours trying to produce a perfect article, such are the high standards on this website, the end product was deemed unacceptable and consigned to the trash bin.

Or I could have been stuck on the M25 en route to Gatwick Airport since about four in the morning.

The household has  had two guests over Easter, girlfriends of two of my sons. One from Estonia , one from Ireland, plus the son and heir home from university, to add to the two sons still in residence, despite the road maps left at random throughout the house.

So, as you might gather , the place has resounded to joyous , happy laughter whenever they all went out.

Anyway, to keep up the pretence of actually writing something yesterday, I’ve decided to lower the standards for this article, so I’m afraid you’ll have to put up with it. Okay, lower them even more.

The big news of the week is the resignation of Johan Mjallby, assistant manager to Neil Lennon. He goes at the end of the season, to pastures and challenges new, and his departure will leave a massive hole at the club, as he apparently keeps forgetting to open the door when he goes out.

The big man, described a “bloody good looking big bastard ” by men and women alike , told the official website;

“I have enormous affection for Celtic Football Club and it is with sadness that the time to leave has arrived. However, I now leave to seek some different opportunities.

“The Club has been part of my life for almost two decades and I have been dedicated to them in every way, first of all as a player and then in management.

“As a player, it was a time when we achieved great success and I had the privilege to work with football people and players who were first-class and real quality. We had some great moments and memories I will always cherish.

“It was an honour to return to the Club and work in management with Neil, Garry and the players, and we have worked hard over the last few years to once again bring the Club success.

“I hope Neil, the staff and the players can deliver many more trophies and titles for our fans in the future. I would like to sincerely thank all our supporters for all they have given me and everything they have given to the Club. They are special fans, the best I have ever seen in football.”

Perhaps he’s away to get a bit more experience before he comes back for the top job….

Mjallby inspired cliches like no other-phrases such as “he always gave 100% ” and other nonsense will be forever attached to a man that actually gave a whole lot more than that.

Chris Sutton gave us his own tribute;

JOHAN MJALLBY used to drive 
me nuts.

When we were team-mates at Celtic under Martin O’Neill, he would treat every single session like a matchday and trained like he played.

If I was being absolutely honest, I’d admit that I was perhaps not one of that nature.

Frankly, Johan would get right on my nerves at times.

We would be having a session in the middle of the week and he would tackle hard or he would thump right through the back of me.

I would look at him and think: “Why are you doing that? We’ve got a game on Saturday.”

But that was Johan……

……

Johan was an excellent player and knew his strengths and weaknesses on the pitch, although there were not that many weaknesses.

I shared a dressing room with him and can only tell you how much
influence he had in there as well as 
on the field.

Johan was not a guy with a big 
ego. There were others at the time 
who would get the headlines and 
the adulation.

But his only focus was performing well and doing his job to the best of his abilities.

For Johan, that is what gave him the satisfaction and the pride.

It is sometimes easy for people to trot out the same lines about being winners but that was 
absolutely the case with Johan.

He simply hated getting beaten. That’s how he played.

Seriously, he was aggressive and he was fair, someone who could dish it out and take it, but he had an awful lot more than that to his game.

He wasn’t the quickest but he read the game so well and used his 
body to tremendous effect that opponents would find it almost impossible to get past him.

Johan was a loss to us as a group when he finished up playing 
and he will certainly be a loss to Celtic’s backroom staff. ”

Thats from a team mates perspective, and I’ll try to add a fans thoughts.

When the big Swede arrived , much was made of the physical attributes of his game, reference was made to a Swedish sports tv feature entitled “Johanns Tackle of the Week “, where opponents would be gently dispossessed of the ball and hardly ever needed help getting back up.

And at a time when Celtic were perhaps guilty of being bullied by their old opponents from the dar side of town, much was expected from him to reverse that trend. He is a big lad, and his arrival was expected to signal the beginning of a shift in power..

And he didn’t disappoint.

Ask Jorg Albertz , the “hammer ” who found out that when you ran into Johann you just bounced off. Still one of the biggest cheers ever at a Celtic -Old rangers game…

Or ask Fernando Ricksen, the first player to change his shorts at half time in a Celtic Rangers game….

mjallby

Celtic has had its share of legends. Mjallby deserves to be up there with all of them. Whatever he does next, you know he’ll do it well. But we’ll wish him good luck anyway.

And thank you big man, it was great having you here.

Meanwhile, back to business, and theres confirmation that Fraser Forster will not be returning to Newcastle United;

 

Toon track a Forster return

NEWCASTLE United are considering a shock bid to lure Celtic No 1 Fraser Forster back to St James’ Park.

Its from the Daily Express, so its obviously bollocks.

In fact, the paper goes on to hint that he wants to stay at Celtic Park , and isn’t remotely interested in moving south;

” Forster would welcome a return to the English top flight and Celtic could decide to cash in on him before his contract starts to run down. ”

They’re clever at the Express, you have to read between the lines for the truth.

The story is credited , on their website, to “Scitt Burns “, which gives you an idea of the pride that paper takes in its accuracy. And hot on the heels of these differing front pages in the Scottish and English versions of the paper, its fair to deduce that we’ll have the presence of Forster for a while yet..

Meanwhile, the reporter then changed his name to Scott Burns , and gave us this rubbish;

Old Firm to share in Brazil cash

CELTIC and Rangers will land World Cup windfalls thanks to the players they’ll have at this summer’s finals.

At least he explained the term “Old Firm ” I’d no idea what he was on about. 

FIFA have almost doubled the payment pot for clubs to more than £41million.

Each club will get around £1,665-a-day per player, regardless of whether they play in Brazil.

I think they have to be in the squad , though. 

The cash kicks in two weeks before the competition starts until the day after their country’s last match.

Celtic could have Greece’s Georgios Samaras, Nigeria’s Efe Ambrose, Australia’s Tom Rogic, Honduras’ Emilio Izaguirre and England’s Fraser Forster at the tournament.

They would net the Hoops at least £250,000, while Rangers are in line for a much-needed £50,000 bonus through Honduran international midfielder Arnold Peralta.

Rangers have an international player ! He really needs to sit down with his agent and ask him a couple of questions. I’ll help;

” Why on earth did you send me here ? ” 

The cash will come in more than handy for Rangers as they struggle to balance the books.

They aren’t struggling to balance the books. They’ve shredded them. 

Which brings us to the announcement tomorrow at the end of a 120 day -give or take a couple of months -review of finances at the new club.

As usual, we at Etims have a man at the scene, and he sends us a copy of the speech to be made by Ibrox CEO Graham Wallace at tomorrows press conference.

” Thank you for coming.  We’re fucked. Wheres my car keys ? ”

Back across the city to Celtic, and the Fraser Forster  to Newcastle story has also been picked up by Ladbrokes, a firm that specialises in taxing optimistic people, who have a sort of half hearted news section on their website;

Newcastle to bring England goalkeeper in from

the cold

After they kept him out there in  it for years… 

Newcastle United look set to begin their search for a new goalkeeper early with former Toon academy graduate and Celtic star Fraser Forster topping the list of candidates.

The move comes amid reports that current number one Tim Krul is set to depart the club come the end of the season, with Barcelona believed to be weighing up a bid for the Dutch international who is highly rated across the continent.

Er, don’t they have a transfer embargo ? 

And while that move may hinge on whether the current transfer ban imposed on the Catalan club remains in place, it is widely thought that, regardless of whether a Nou Camp move comes to fruition, the stopper will seek to leave St James’ Park come the end of the season.

Oh, look. He’s just remembered… 

This transfer could prompt Newcastle United to bid for former player Fraser Forster, who left the Tyneside club for Celtic on a permanent deal back in June 2012.

This tranfer to a club that isn’t allowed to conduct transfers ? And doesn’t “permanent ” mean “forever ” -which might prompt an investigation from FIFA…

And the former Wallsend Boys Club member has impressed for the Bhoys ever since, setting a new club-record of 11 league clean sheets in a row back in February as well as setting a new Scottish League record of 1,256 minutes without conceding a goal.

Despite taking on a starring role for the Hoops though, the 26-year-old has found his opportunities for the England team somewhat limited, with the keeper playing second-fiddle to Joe Hart despite the Manchester City man enduring some poor form in the Premier League this term.

He’s got plenty of time to break into the team, in fact, some might call it a ” rapid rise to prominence within the international set-up”.

 Me, for instance. 

Many have suggested that Roy Hodgson’s continued preference for Hart may be, in some part at least, down to the fact that he plies his trade in the Premier League rather than the less competitive Scottish top flight, where Celtic hold a 25-point lead at the top of the table.

Many English journalists… 

This has prompted many to suggest Forster will seek a move down south come the conclusion of the current campaign and with a potential vacancy for a starting keeper in the offing at former club Newcastle it could prove a match made in heaven.

Many English journalist….and quite a few Scottish ones, although the words “Scottish ” and “journalists ” should never really be linked together. 

Celtic paid £2m for the keeper two years ago and could push for at least three times that fee, but with Newcastle boasting plenty of money in the transfer coffers and likely to have additional funds from the sale of Krul, negotiations could prove relatively straightforward.

” Hello, Newcastle United here, we’d like to discuss the sale of Fraser Forster to our club ” 

”  Fuck off ” 

Elsewhere, theres a story doing the rounds that Kilmarnock may have fielded an un registered player in their recent game against Celtic. Keith Jackson explains…

” KILMARNOCK could be plunged into crisis with the SPFL set to probe a claim that a staff member forged a player’s signature in order to play him against Celtic.

Record Sport can reveal the league’s top brass have ordered an urgent investigation into the alleged rule breach which relates to the champions’ 3-0 win at Rugby Park last month. And, if 
found guilty, Killie could be hammered with a range of sanctions including a possible points deduction which could condemn Allan Johnston’s team to a nerve shredding relegation play-off. ”

Or, of course, they could have all their debt wiped out, be praised for dealing with the crisis with dignity and start fresh in Division 3. I think thats how it usually works.

Speaking of the Record, the competition to award the  job as sports editor, known as ” hotline ” is under suspension as their appears to be an entrant using a false name. Suspicions were aroused that Stevie Campbell of Tollcross may actually be BBC radio pundit Chick Young when he offered his thoughts on the replacement for Davie Moyes at Manchester Utd;

“I’m surprised Walter Smith wasn’t considered at the time of David Moyes’s appointment. I said it at the time and people laughed and they might laugh again.

They won’t laugh again. They can’t. They’re still laughing from the first time you said it.

“He never got money to spend last time he was in the English Premier League and I can’t believe he’s not even being mentioned considering he’s cut from the same cloth as Sir Alex Ferguson.”

Walter Smith shouldn’t be given money to spend in Asda, never mind anywhere else. 

At the other end of the scale, one man clearly hasn’t got the hang of the competition at all;

Kenny Hutton, Dunfermline, said: “Is it not about time the people at Rangers realised where they are in Scottish football. I see they’re having a Player of the Year dinner in the Hilton in Glasgow.

“Would it not be more appropriate given their standing in the game to have it a local miners welfare club.”

I think we can safely say he won’t win.

Speaking of Manchester United, the clubs  owners, the Glazers, have denied knowing nothing about football, reminding us that they took advice from Fergie before appointing David Moyes.

Following his disastrous tenure, however, they have confirmed they won’t be consulting her about the next manager.

I was a little surprised they asked her -she didn’t last that long in her first big job either.

 

Stephen Pearson was the face in the last diary, all those years ago. He married former Miss Scotland Aisling Friel in 2010.

Today, I want to know who is being gently dispossessed  of the ball by Johann Mjallby here…

Oh, almost forgot, the Celtic website has had a lick of paint. It looks a whole lot better , and is easier to use. Just needs a little something else …maybe to offer respect to the departed, which I feel , as a club , was never done with the respect and dignity it merited.

Just to clarify things. You’d be surprised what it would do to season book sales.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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deadhead67
9 years ago

Perhaps if he does well in management big Johann could return tom the top job at Celtic park in the future

jas
9 years ago

Bassa Batistuta

9 years ago

Sad to see big Johann go, his statement seems a bit vague on the reasons mind, hope its not a push somehow.

A great player and my daughter and I will always remember meeting him.

There he was standing with fans outside Celtic park when his phone rang, instead of using it as an excuse to leave, Johann asked fans for “Just 1 second”. He took the call and said “Can i call you back, I’m with the fans”. 1 hour later he was still signing and getting photoes taken.

A true Gentleman who did our club proud.

Tourtenay
9 years ago

I think Barca’s transfer embargo has been suspended due to appeal!

joe
9 years ago

missed diary yesterday always look forward to a good read and laugh
picking up on the Walter smith man u job maybe not as manger but could double up with sally and become the next little and large sure the man u fans could do with a laugh sad to see Johann go we had two super swedes in our team

Keano16
9 years ago

Farewell johan

Raymobhoy
9 years ago

A couple of things on the BBC Scottish Gossip made me laugh this week. Kris Boyd said that 9 out of 10 players in Scotland are not as good as they think they are. Surely he must be counting himself.

Bilel Moshni said that McCoist dropped his shorts for the players to take shots at his backside. I wager that nobody missed.

And Rangers midfielder Fraser Aird is choosing to play for Canada instead of Scotland. Bet he doesnt get pelters like McGeady got.

Also best wishes to big Mjallby for giving everything for the hoops.

pensionerbhoy
9 years ago
Reply to  Raymobhoy

And a siren went off to warn people there was a blackout.

H H

9 years ago

Looks like Batigol to me …

pensionerbhoy
9 years ago

Whew! Ralph

I really did have visions of chopped off fingers with the lawnmower yesterday. Great to know you had an even worse experience and could easily have gone missing in the world’s largest car park. Anyway, welcome home.

It looks like being in a traffic jam coma did you good as we got what was like two great diaries in one today. I loved the intro and followed by a fine tribute to a terrific player. He was not the most skilled that walked through Parkhead’s gates but he had the heart of a true Nordic warrior with the spirit of a genuine Celt. There are many today who ought to learn from his commitment both to the club and to the fans not forgetting his consistent 100%+ on the park. We can do no less than thank him and wish him well. A truly great servant.

Then to the diary part deux! Thank you for mentioning my beloved local working men’s club especially in connection with Big Fraser. I have witnessed first hand the crap that runs round the streets of the Looney Toon on a weekend and it does not even begin to compare with the tripe that they “tak” at St. James’ Stadia Drab. I would mention where it comes out of but from what I have seen, they can’t tell their arse from their elbow so there is no point. Here we have a club so much up its own, it simply can not recognise contradiction. Two years ago, Forster was so bad he was only good enough for the joke league over the border, at least according to that football guru Par Dieu. Then he was wasted up there and did not receive his rightful recognition at international level even though it is obvious to a blind man that Hart is the love child of England’s scapegoat in waiting, Hodgson. Now his only chance of progress and a return to the love of his life is back in Loony Tunes. This is the man that top European clubs have trailed all season. But then, the loonies would not know what we are talking about when we mention Europe. So you see guys, we get our laughs down here as well. That is why I don’t write off the Cardigan and Arse combination at Man Utd. Well, queens do really well down here and the position of King in Scotland is well and truly taken along with a hell of a lot of season ticket money. I see someone in South Africa paid a fortune on Ebay for a fast pair of running shoes, ahem, gough, gough. Phlegm. They say it is caused by brass in the chest.

Johann gives Batistuta a slight nudge in the world cup v Argentina. I think he was regarded as one of the world’s top around that time but Johann took NO prisoners. Reputations were destroyed by the Big Man. Many a blue nose ended games black and blue.

H H

holy sea
9 years ago

Pensionerbhoy,good to see your words of wisdom on
videocelts ( don’t tell Ralph ) I am sure he won’t mind ,as we are all just one big happy Celtic family.Unlike Sevco,who are ripping themselves apart.
Big Johan will be missed,I don’t think he.fancies Norwich.Only
kidding ?? While Lenny’s still here,I think Owen Coyle would make a great second in command,even if he did knock us back before.He is a reputable coach,and his training sessions are first class.

pensionerbhoy
9 years ago
Reply to  holy sea

hs

With a gob like mine I leave a trail of tripe wherever I go and I see you slipped on some 🙂

Ralph dare not say anything. He knows I might wander off sometimes but he forgives my absent-mindedness. He has great sympathy for the aged and I know there is always a place for me on here even if it is in the garden shed – keeps me out of trouble.

By the way, there is no way Lenny is off to Norwich or any other backwater (no webbed feet you see) and I think he has the common sense to know he is still too green (in many ways) to risk his career in any of the EPL deathtraps. Life expectancy is far too short among English managers and, besides, for the time being he can achieve so much more with Celtic. He will still be here for a few seasons yet. As for Coyle, I would not argue his potential as coach but I am not so convinced about his managerial ability. Anyway, I doubt we need to worry for a while yet as the hand of justice is wavering over the red button down Govan way.

Continue to keep the tabs on me. Ralph will pay you a fortune for information received.

H H

9 years ago

Johan was signed by Dr Jo – as was Lubo (and Viduka) – Dr Jo’s reign didn’t last long at CP, but the joy those players brought to Celtic fans is immeasurable.
So a big thanks to Dr Jo and Johan – all the best big man wherever your future takes you.

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