Medical staff at Celtic Park were given the Easter weekend off with the news that Motherwells Keith Lasley is suspended for todays lunchtime Premier League game. In fact, Stuart Carswell, Lee Hollis, Paul Lawson, James McFadden and Simon Ramsden are all injured but defender Shaun Hutchinson is fit again. Whoever he is.

Celtic will be without Darnell Fisher, who has undergone knee surgery, and he’ll be joined in front of the telly by Adam Matthews, Charlie Mulgrew, Nir Biton, James Forrest , Derk Boerrigter and Mikael Lustig. So it looks like Neil Lennon will get a chance to freshen things up, whether he had wanted to or not.

Manager Neil Lennon said;

 “We want to finish the season strongly. Individual players have targets and we as a team have targets but the be all and end all is to keep this run going.

“We have had one defeat in 33 [league] games so we would like to finish the season with just the one defeat.

“Motherwell are a good side with a good manager and Fir Park is always a good venue.”

Good.

The game is live on Sky, and hopefully the Celts , as they say in the song, will put on a show, with lots of goals and free flowing football, especially now that Keith Lasley isn’t playing, but they might give a debut to their new young midfield enforcer;

Speaking of songs,  Lennon  also took time out to give his views on Leigh Griffiths, which may disappoint some of the more critical supporters. Griffiths, who committed the insidious crime of singing in a pub about the team his team were going to play that day, looks like he’ll receive help for his “racist ” views and a voice coach to improve his range. Although it seems to have carried quite far enough without professional assistance.

Its so easy these days to have ones actions misunderstood.  The other day I saw George Osborne, the chancellor of the exchequer, lying on a beach. Quickly I nipped over to him and emptied the contents of my bladder on him.

“You fool, ” he cried ” Its David Cameron who got stung by a jellyfish ! ”

” Jellyfish ? ” I replied .

Which leads me to a quick joke…

Whats the difference between David Cameron and a jellyfish ?

Ones a slimy , horrible creature that stings ordinary people , and the other lives in the sea.

Sorry. Back to Lennon on Griffiths.

“The kid has a few issues that we need to attend to.

“As a professional, he’s no problem at all. The worry is the stuff away from the park.

“He’s a bit daft but there are other issues that have a serious connotation to them and are private and personal. His life away from football must be addressed. It’s difficult to interfere as you end up playing God with them at times.

“You can’t run their lives away from the park but you must make them aware of responsibilities.

“It’s probably been a chastening experience for him in some ways.

“He’s very disappointed and upset. The head’s been down for a week or so. It’s part of his education and I can help him from my experiences.

“I had a full and frank chat with him a few weeks ago and he knows I will support him.

“His personality is actually very quiet but he gets in with a different crowd and maybe gets influenced by them.

“I’ve come across a lot of players who have had issues.

“We will manage Leigh and get him on the straight and narrow as it were.

“He’s not a bad boy, just a bit easily influenced. Reactive rather than being able to take a step back.”

Typically, the press asked if Lennons zero tolerance policy on Racism will be adhered to, and the boss replied;

“You can’t ask me that question until the investigation is over.

“It’s a police investigation and we have our own club investigation.”

When asked if he was confident of Griffiths being at Celtic next season, the manager said:

“Yes.”

Its hard to disagree with any of that.  Lennon was no stranger to controversy as a player, and if anyone can put Griffiths on the right road, its him.

Probably not a good idea to release a duet of “On The One Road ” just yet though.

Another player who has faced questions designed to produce a headline is Virgil van Dijk. The Herald leads with;

Everyone wants him . . .

except the one person who matters

Gary Keown, the writer, is referring to Dutch coach Louis van Gaal, and not , surprisingly, his manager at Celtic, who you would have thought would really matter..

Koewn, obviously seeking a headline, asked if van Dijk thought he should be given a place in the Dutch squad. Surprisingly, the defender didn’t reply no, and add that he thought he was shite;

“I think I should be given a chance, definitely,” said Van Dijk, who left Groningen for Glasgow in a £2.6m transfer last summer. “That is my opinion. Everyone has their own thoughts and the coach’s ones are the most important.

“People in Holland are saying I should get an opportunity, but they are not the most important people to be saying that. If the coach doesn’t invite me, it is not going to happen. I was never nominated in Holland.

“I wouldn’t say I am hoping to go to the World Cup, though. I think it is a dream. Every player dreams of going to the World Cup and I certainly do, but I have had no invitation as yet, so that means there is nothing to be hopeful about. If I am not going, I will just head off on holiday to rest and get ready for next season.”

Van Dijk handled it better than most, and then enthused about his time at Celtic, which would have annoyed those present;

“I’d say the most beautiful thing that happened this season was getting to the group stage in the game against Shakhter Karagandy,” said Van Dijk. “I only played about 10 seconds at the end, but it was an amazing feeling and I will never forget that. It was a moment in which I started to feel like a Celtic player and the moment I saw the fans go crazy. It was just an amazing night.”

But Keown hasn’t given up yet;

Van Dijk’s agent Henk-Maarten Chin stated last month that the defender would be moving to England this summer with “the absolute top clubs” taking an interest in him.

Van Dijk, himself, has hardly chastised him for his pronouncements and that may lead to Celtic supporters taking the option of reading between the lines for the truth of what is about to unfold.

Damned if you do….damned if you don’t. Welcome to Scotland… 

But the big man countered…

“I read those comments, but I don’t know,” he said. “You never know what happens, but I’m still here and have a contract until 2017. The Champions League is a big incentive to be here. It is the competition in which you want to be playing and I think every player wants to be in the Champions League. I am dealing with speculation very well, actually. If there is nothing concrete, I have nothing to think about. There are five games left and I am fully focused on those.

“I am not a stressed person. If something is going on, I will have to think about it, but there is nothing at the moment. If you do well, there is going to be speculation. That exists everywhere and I am already used to it to some degree.”

Hugh Keevins might have left the stage, but there is no shortage of contenders for the vacant crown that lies on the head of King shit of Turd Mountain.

With several promising entries in the ” Hotline ” competition, the professionals currently in residence at the Record have upped the pace, and Craig Swan has offered us this;

CRAIG says Celtic fans should be praying that Norwich City fail to beat the drop this year and says there is no way that Neil Lennon will swap the Champions League for an away day in Bournemouth.

Yeah, thats high on our list of priorities. How Norwich are getting on. Helpfully, Swan offers us a picture of Lennon waving….goodbye ?

Actually, he is reminding us of the mental  age targeted by Record writers. 

LIVERPOOL and their emotional crusade to land the English title on the 25th anniversary of Hillsborough has captured plenty of imagination among Scottish football fans.

But if you support Celtic, it’s the bottom end of the top flight down the road which should be at the centre of your universe.

Of course it is. 

It’s not far fetched to suggest the outcome of that particular basement joust and the identity of the three teams who drop into the Championship could well have a significant bearing on how Scotland’s flag winners do in next season’s Champions League.

Yes it is.

Well, actually, let’s be honest, we’re talking about Norwich here, aren’t we?

Well, you are.

With our title race a non-event, there is an additional interest in what is going on south of the border with their proper battle, yet it’s the fraught contest involving the likes of the Canaries, Fulham and West Brom which should have Parkhead punters on red alert.

The interest down south comes from the papers, with a noticable plant in the Records hotline asking who readers wanted to ewin the EPL. And then they wonder why the league doesn’t have a sponsor.

With four games to go, Norwich are in deep trouble.

Oh no… quick, to the batmobile!

Just two points clear of the drop zone, their final four fixtures are against the top four teams.

It’s a nightmare run and one which makes them big candidates to go.

It also might explain why no-one wanted the managers job. No-one at all. Yet somehow, Neil Lennon is actually thinking about moving to Carrow Road-in the minds of the MSM , that is..

And, if they do, it might just make this summer and a couple of very serious issues that little bit easier for those in the positions of power at Parkhead to deal with.

It’s not a secret Carrow Road chiefs are aware of the work of Neil Lennon.

Thats probably true of most clubs in Europe.

Chief executive David McNally knows him personally from their days together at Celtic.

During Chris Hughton’s faltering reign, Lennon’s name was always being linked with the job.

Not by Lennon, though.

And when Hughton was bombed, that intensified.

Every time an EPL job comes up, the Lennon links are ” intensified “

Youth coach Neil Adams was put in charge of the team for the final five games but sources down the road tell you that it is a sticking plaster appointment.

Ah, those impeccable “sources ” …

McNally didn’t say that when Adams was appointed. He trotted out the usual stuff about the guy possibly earning the job full-time by keeping the team up but what else could he say? Sitting next to Adams, the cynic inside tells you he couldn’t say: “You’ll do for now mate but we’re only waiting for the summer to get who we want.

Lennon is bang on their target list but Norwich have a problem.

He’s not interested ?

Persuading the Celtic manager to leave his beloved club to join the farmers in Norfolk would be tough enough to achieve as a Premier League club.

If they drop into the English Championship, they can forget it.

I think they have probably already decided to forget it.

Surely there is no way on earth the Parkhead manager would quit his dream job and such a massive club for trips to Bournemouth and Doncaster.

There is more chance of Bernard Matthews buying Rangers.

Why not ? He’s made his money out of turkeys ?

In addition, it’s clear Robert Snodgrass is a player Celtic like. A player who, moving into the final year of his contract at Norwich, would fancy a move to Glasgow and could be a massive influence in the Champions League qualifiers.

Snodgrass as a Premier League player would cost a packet, even with just 12 months to go on his current deal.

Yet Snodgrass as a Championship asset might just lop a right few quid off an asking price.

Sure, other Premier League teams will want him but Celtic would have a good chance of not being priced out of the race for the Scotland star if he wants to come.

Norwich staying up could see Celtic having to fight for their manager and see the chance of signing a top-class attacking midfielder lessen.

Yes, it could. In LaLaLand.

Seeing the Canaries go down? Right result for the Parkhead fans.

In fact, I wonder how much they’d want for Gary Hooper…

Shit. He’s just had an idea for tomorrows story. All he needs to do now is pad it out with poo poo. 

After that, I feel like some quality journalism. And so should you. Glenn gibbons doesn’t say much these days, but when he does, its usually worth reading.

Todays article in the Scotsman is breathtaking. Presumably his editor is away for the Easter weekend.

Usually, I would just add a link, but this is one of those must read articles, and I’ve copied it in full, firstly because its very accurate, and secondly, as a contrast to the crap in the Record;

IN ROBERT Bolt’s play and film, A Man For All Seasons, Sir Thomas More assembles his numerous domestic staff to break the bad news that he has fallen on irredeemably hard times. “I am no longer a great man,” he begins. “And since I am no more a great man, I no longer need a great household. Nor can I afford one. You will have to go.”

Here was a practical demonstration of the kind of acute insight and quick wits that gave rise to the former Lord Chancellor’s reputation as one of 16th-century England’s most formidable intellects.

Of course, More would also have been quick to acknowledge that even the humblest peasant farmer, faced with financial catastrophe – a failed crop, say – would have been similarly aware instantly of the necessity of a protracted period of austerity, or even abandonment of his smallholding and relocation as an employee on a steady, if modest, income.

It is a grasp of elementary economics that seems somehow to have eluded anyone charged with executive duties at Rangers throughout the years since the instigator of the old club’s decline, David Murray, began the large-scale, reckless extravagance that led to calamity.

Since then, despite the onset of administration and liquidation and passing through the hands of a succession of regimes to the present board of directors, the Glasgow institution has existed in a constant state of financial vulnerability, with no-one among the numerous sets of “saviours” apparently willing to identify certain damaging truths and take appropriate remedial action.

This speaks of a culture problem at Ibrox, one that became entrenched during the 140 years that preceded liquidation in 2012 and has generally not even been acknowledged, far less addressed, despite the overwhelming evidence of the need to abandon principles that have been rendered wasteful by monetary imperatives.

Chief among these actions is to emulate Thomas More and concede that Rangers are no longer a great club. That is, “great” in the sense of magnitude, as opposed to their historic high achievement and the resultant command of the affections and allegiances of many thousands of followers.

An organisation whose annual turnover once was close to £60 million has now, according to the latest returns, shrunk to £19m – and even that amount is likely to be reduced again at the end of the current financial year. Yet, in the wake of liquidation of the old club and the birth of the new, the directors saw fit to sanction a yearly wage bill of around £7m for players charged with winning the fourth- and third-division championships.

Salaries of non-playing personnel make the total around £9m, while the general costs of running the operation drain the kitty of £1.4m per month. These ludicrously high outgoings having to be met entirely from the club’s working capital, since their history of leaving behind creditors owed millions when entering administration means they no longer have access to credit lines at the banks.

Despite the obviously perilous condition of their finances (a recent emergency loan of £1.5m from private individuals required simply to remain solvent until the end of the season), numerous supporters are immovable in their conviction that Rangers remain a “massive” club whose rightful place is at the head of Scottish football’s Premiership and competing creditably in the Champions League.

There is, of course, nothing intrinsically flawed about aiming for the stars, but the problem with too many Rangers followers is that they want it to happen yesterday. Their ideal is the instant cure of a wealthy benefactor taking control and providing an unconditional minimum £50m of funding with which the team could be transformed from lower-league capabilities to national champions in the blink of an eye.

And yet, curiously, there appears to be a substantial number of fans willing to rally to the banner of Dave King, the South Africa-based entrepreneur who, astonishingly, has publicly declared his unwillingness to invest in the club. So far, he has offered only words, primarily to blacken the names of the current directors.

King has also shown himself to be as inconsistent as many who have become involved in the propaganda war at Ibrox, at first encouraging supporters not to renew their season tickets, then changing tack by saying that the chief executive, Graham Wallace, should be allowed to complete his 120-day review of the business, before returning this week with another fusillade in the direction of the board. King, convicted on more than 40 counts of tax evasion in South Africa, accused the opposition of a lack of integrity and honesty.

But, among the array of head-turning schemes associated with disenchanted fans and the directors, the most preposterous is surely the demand by the former to be handed security over Ibrox Stadium and Murray Park as part of their renewing season tickets. This is like insisting that M&S give customers security over their flagship Oxford Street store in exchange for a pledge to buy more merchandise.

The entire season-ticket phenomenon, in fact, has been warped into a grotesque caricature of its traditional place in the game and led to the utterly meaningless and misleading question: “What happened to the fans’ money?” This clearly ignores the fact that, when a ticket is bought, the money becomes the seller’s while the buyer gets the ticket. It’s not complicated. At the core of the Ibrox morass, however, there ought to be a warning that the fans should be careful what they wish for.

Institutional investors collectively make up a large majority of shareholders, but each has actually spent a comparatively tiny amount on acquiring their equity. If they continue to be harassed, they could consider the venture not to be worth the bother, sell off the assets and close down the business ”

That was Kris Commons in a Stoke shirt in yesterdyas diary. Commons was also the subject of considerable criticism on twitter yesterday, after he said that with three kids he didn’t feel he had a luxurious lifestyle.

Fans made several remarks about his earnings and implied that he was being a little facetious. Thing is, Commons has put his family first. The money just makes things easier, and when you consider the work his wife does for charity, he’s throwing his money in our faces.

What he meant was is feet are firmly on the ground, and he’s trying to raise his family the right way.

Today we have a former Motherwell and Celtic favourite, and all you have to do is work out who it is from this picture postcard…