The row created by Kilmarnock chairman Michael Johnston over tickets for the game on Saturday continued yesterday. To appease the Ayrshire clubs fans, who have been up in arms over the offer to Celtic fans of a £6 reduction in price, the chairman has offered any non-season book holding ( which is most of them ) Killie fan who goes to the Celtic game a free ticket for the Ross County game next month, while book holders get a tenner for the club shop if they bring along a paying adult.
They could take the wife, I suppose;
Ayrshire hasn’t changed much over the years.
Whilst most of us have no love for that particular club, there is an affinity with supporters, especially those where their chairman is standing over them, having just taken a couple of laxatives. Sandy Armour ( honest, thats his name, and not a cut price uniform for troops in the gulf ) of the KSA said;
“The damage has been done and everyone sees this for what it is – a shambolic gesture after he made a complete mess of things.
“He’s clearly been taken aback by the angry reaction to his initiative for Celtic fans and is now scrambling about trying to appease us.
“It’s pathetic and most supporters are telling him where to stick his offer.
“This is just the latest in a long line of PR disasters. Just about every Killie fan has had enough.”
But Johnston last night defended his decisions.
He said: “I’ve been trying to liven up disappointingly low sales figures.
“I wasn’t attempting to treat the Kilmarnock fans as an afterthought. The scheme to give free admission to the County game was always going to happen.”
I don’t think he’s even fooling himself.
Someone else who probably isn’t fooling himself is Morton manager Allan Moore, who claims to have studied Milan as a way of finding out how to beat Celtic..
“We said to the boys, ‘You’re not AC Milan but they got everyone behind the ball against Celtic and took their chance when it came along.’
Fairly in depth analysis of the game there, even if its not actually how Milan played. I don’t remember Celtic pounding away at them and getting caught on the break, although I have more or less wiped that game from memory.
Moore then revealed he had told the chairman that Morton were going to win, which is a shame, because he wasn’t allowed to bet on the game, having never played for Rangers. He explained;
“I was kidding people on beforehand that we were going to win but I didn’t actually believe it.
“I was asked if I had seen Morton beat Celtic before and I said twice. I told them this would be the third time – but I only said it tongue in cheek as I feared the worst.”
His son, also called Allan to make it easier on his wife when she was shouting them in for their dinner, is in Australia, and he phoned his dad;
“I’ve never had so many phone calls, texts and Facebook messages.
“My boy Allan has also been on the phone and he’s
blootered because all the Rangers fans in Australia have been buying him drinks all night.”
Poor lad. Blootered on two pints.
He also spoke of the success of a trip to Eastern Europe with Mark McNally, to recruit some players;
“We travelled 1500 miles in a car over two days. It was a hard shift but we brought a couple of boys back with us. ”
That should get him a job at the BBC.
All joking aside, we can only wish Morton all the best for the remainder of the tournament. They did earn their win, and if nothing else it means another different name on the trophy this year, and shows that Celtic will not have everything their own way. Competition is good for the game.
No, I’m not fooling myself , either.
It’s Dutch and go as Celtic chase Klobeinn Sgthorsson
The Daily Express picked up on the hint in the diary yesterday, and published this today, destroying any chance of the lad ever coming to Celtic. This particular rag has an accuracy rate lower than the Weekly World News when it comes to stories, and to be fair , the WWN scoops are more believable.
James Forrest has suffered a relapse in his fight against the mystery virus which has knocked him for six. Manager Neil Lennon said;
“James didn’t come in on Monday because his condition got worse again over the weekend.
“I don’t know where we are with him at the moment.” ( He could always read the note from Mrs Forrest )
“We are hoping he will be feeling a little bit perkier over the next couple of days. ”
Doesn’t sound promising. Forrest, often the subject of harsh criticism from an unappreciative support, is important to the way Celtic play in Europe, his pace carrying the ball out of defence vital in relieving pressure from sides such as Barcelona. Even if Milan saw through that ploy and decided to play cautiously, its unlikely Barcelona will.
All the tickets for that game have gone now, and season book holders who paid £28 a game for their packages will enjoy a wry little smile when they learn that the few individual briefs that went on sale this week were running at £49 each.
Some would call it profiteering, others would say it rewards season book holders, who made a commitment to the club in these tough times.
Mine was £28, so its not difficult to see what my viewpoint is. Not everyone can afford a book, or attend enough games to make it viable, but on balance, the reward from the club is appreciated.
Better than a ten pound gift voucher for the club shop, which will buy you a scarf, and not much else. And if Bertie Auld is in, you’ll end up buying loads more. He puts things in your trolley.
With Forrest likely to miss the game, and Ledley and Kayal struggling, its a relief that Barcelona have a couple of players out as well.
From the Evening Times;
Nou Camp defence ravaged by injury
Barcelona face a defensive crisis ahead of Tuesday’s Champions League trip to Celtic after Javier Mascherano was ruled out for “10 to 15 days” with a hamstring injury.
The Argentina international pulled up in Tuesday night’s 4-1 win over Real Sociedad and joins fellow defender Jordi Alba on the sidelines.
Alba was also diagnosed with a hamstring tear earlier this month to leave Barca without two first-choice defenders, while Carles Puyol is still out.
The Catalans are therefore set to be stretched at the back ahead of the tie in Glasgow – where they were memorably beaten by Celtic last season. ”
John McGill, who penned this piece, a cheerful, hope springs eternal go get em Celtic story, will no doubt be looking for another job by the end of the week.
They are already discussing his next assignment in the editors office;
Meanwhile, over at the Ibrox Garrison, New Club Second Rangers have announced another Armed Forces day this weekend. Four hundred servicemen and women will milk the applause of the crowd, and raise £15,000 for their charity.
This money will be paid at the end of the season, according to this statement, another work of satirical comic genius.
RANGERS and the Rangers Charity Foundation are proud to be welcoming over 400 armed services personnel to Ibrox on Saturday as part of a special event to honour the brave men andwomen of our armed forces.
Fans will have a chance to show their appreciation for the work and sacrifice of these men and women when they are led out onto the pitch at half time by an army band to receive the applause of the crowd.
Supporters can expect a stunning display as Royal Marine commandos, led by Sergeant Jeffrey, will abseil in to the stadium prior to kick off and hand the match ball over to the referee.
Representatives from each branch of the armed services will also lead the teams out onto the pitch prior to kick-off.
The Club is also playing host to senior representatives from each branch of the armed services in the Directors Box, including Major General Nick Eeles, General Officer Commanding Scotland.
Major General Eeles said: “On behalf of the Armed Forces in Scotland I would like to thank Rangers for inviting 400 members of the Royal Navy, Royal Marines, Army, and Royal Air Force to the match. Although Armed Forces Day (AFD) is held in June each year (outside the football season), I was delighted when Rangers came forward with the idea of holding their own annual celebration of AFD once the new season had kicked off.
“I very much hope this inaugural AFD day at Rangers will be repeated annually for many years to come, and that it will you an appropriate opportunity to show your support for today’s generation of selfless, committed and courageous Armed Forces personnel, all of whom are enormously proud to serve their Queen and their country.”
Ally McCoist added: “It’s a fantastic opportunity for us all to show our appreciation for the men and women who sacrifice so much for our country. I am sure the fans will give them an amazing Ibrox welcome.”
All branches of the armed forces will be represented at Ibrox and The Rangers Charity Foundation is hosting a can collection as part of its new initiative, the Fans Forces Fund.
Erskine and SSAFA won the fans’ vote to share £15,000, which will be donated at the end of the season, and today’s collection is our first step on the way to achieving that target.
Good luck with that one. As Craig Whyte would say.
Over on the Kerrydale Street forum, photoshop genius Cartuja summed up the whole pantomime with this picture, which is his best work yet-and thats up against some other efforts of quality. ( I did ask him for permission to use this, and at the time of writing he hadn’t replied, so apologies in advance if I have overstepped the mark, )
” Behold, the circus is coming to town…”
It even encaptures the sinister undercurrent behind the whole ceremony, as well as the farcical nature of the clubs pandering to the lowest common denominator. Sister Wendy Beckett would have approved..
Yesterdays pictures, Gore Vidal, the Don from the godfather, and kids poet Eminem-real name Marshall Mathers-led us to Gordon Marshall, a goalkeeper from the nineties.
Today, see if you can fathom this one out.
Bit of thinking needed here, in a history context….and tell us how you arrived at your conclusion..
Wullie oneil
Willie O’Neill. Red Hand is the symbol of the O’Neill clan from Ulster. Legend has it that, in a race to claim the land, the clan chief cut off his left hand and threw it from his boat to the land in order to be first their. Thus the ‘red hand. And the ‘Simpson’s Groundskeeper Willie of course.
Come on the Hoops
Sigthorsson is a non-scoring forward, 3 years at Ajax and nowhere near becoming a first pick. Wait til the CL games and ask if you want him at Celtic. As a regular Finnbogason watcher – he scores 1 out of 4 chances and doesn’t do link up play. Those are the real reasons why there has not been a queue to sign him. Finally, if we must sign an Icelander, then go for Johansson at AZ – he is the most likely of the 3
Janitor Ulster.
Reserve Goalie in the 1905 glasgow cup semi final
Brilliant Lurgan. I’m sure I read about him in one of David Potter’s ‘Cult Celtic Heroes’ books!
Adam Matthews provides us with a better option than James Forrest, particularly in Europe. James is often out of his depth at that level, easily muscled off the ball and goes missing for long periods. Matthews and Lustig should be our preferred option in Europe.
Amazed if that story about the armed forces day at ayebrox is true? I thought after the last fiasco when they had military personal debase themselves that the top brass said it would never happen again? Mind you, have they not had tanks on the marble staircase?
” Behold, the circus is coming to town…” amazing art/message from Cartuja
You are right on Matthews in over Forrest. Forrest is not the Didier Agathe the gaffer thinks he is.
Agathe, Forrest and Mathews are/were not great crossers of the ball. We need someone who is.
I do like the hun adopting the Father Ted approach.
“The money was simply resting in my account”
Finally some acknowledgement for big Finbar, the Irish Groundsman who helped jump start that truck that took the Lisbon Lions around the stadium when they returned home with the Big Cup.
By the way, selfless armed forces?, I was pretty sure they got paid and pensioned, silly me.
Desi, don’t you know you’re a ‘hero’ nowadays simply for joinin the army. Debases the term hero IMHO. Read last year about a woman agent in 1943 who parachuted into occupied France, was caught, raped and tortured by the Gestapo, escaped to England and then was parachuted back into France again to kill more Nazis. She, along with all those who care year in, year out for sick relatives is a ‘hero’. Rangers are just sheer hypocrites: most of the players of the former team avoided military service in World War 2 by being given ‘jobs’ in shipyards like Harland & Wolff while players from Celtic and other clubs fought for their country.
‘Bertie Auld puts things in your trolley’. LOL! I was wondering where those daft Celtic slippers with the pompom on the end came from. Not to mention the tin of Celtic mints and the pink ‘My Ghirl’ onesie. Wait till I get a hold of that cheeky auld scunner….
I honestly thought the days of ‘mad parades’ (copyright John Lydon) at Owebrox were to be consigned to the dustbin, particularly the awful sight of soldiers abseiling into the cesspit. When will these peepel realise that being patriotic and nationalistic doesn’t mean blindly and dumbly accepting everything the Government and military personnel tell them. If you speak out against meaningless wars and the deployment of ‘our boys’ (boak) in them then surely you are then being a true patriot.
Wonder how the hordes would have felt when loyalist paramilitaries were attacking British troops in Ulster in the 60s and 70s for having the gall to (supposedly) defend the Taigs. I’m sure their circuitry would have melted at the dilemna there.
Phuds.
Well said Francis.All this blind patriotism & jingolist bullshit at Ibrokes makes me want to boak.My granda fought & died in WWII for the right NOT to have to kowtow to the type of right-wing, proto-nazi, flag-waving diatribe we’re constantly being subjected to from these so-called patriots. I reserve the democratic right to disagree and not to moronically cheer “our boys”, without being called a traitor, or worse. BTW. These are the same peepil who conveniently ignore thae fact that most of the Rangers team were given cushy “jobs” at Harland & Wolf during WWII to avoid having to fight.
Indeed Carl. I can’t be the only one who has noticed the mass hype and poppy fascism as Jon Snow so eloquently put it that has magnified a thousand fold since the onset of the disastrous forays into Iraq and Afghanistan, and how the tragic and pointless death of a serviceman/woman is the lead story on news programmes. Whilst I completely sympathise with the families involved the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis and Afghans doesn’t even merit a mention. If you were cynical like me you’d think they were trying to deflect attention from the decision to be America’s lapdog by focusing on the brave pawns who are out there ‘protecting’ us from sandal-wearing farmers.
Prepare yourself for the onslaught of poppies everywhere on TV soon whether people choose to wear them or not. Is that the freedom that the brave souls of WW1&2 fought for? Also, the sight of spangly poppies on the likes of the x-factor and come dancing sicken me. Whatever happened to quiet and dignified reflection for those who wish to do so?
Anyway, back to the, er, football or something!
Frank
“Whatever happened to quiet and dignified reflection for those who wish to do so?
PB,
It seems to have been taken over by mass popular culture. If you don’t partake in a public fashion or if you simply want to remember/reflect in your own quiet way then you are a bigot who should ‘go home’.
Watch this undignified space. It’s coming your way soon.
Do you remember when Murray brought Thatcher to Ayebroke in January 1989 to make the SCOTTISH cup draw? She was also invited to the final when Celtic were expected to fulfil the role of ritual sacrifice – but they ‘goat’ it wrong, as usual. Wee Joe Miller sealed their fate and his place in Celtic folklore with a great goal from an Aitken pass. And 20,000 Tims waved red cards at Mrs T. Priceless!
How did the SFA explain allowing Murray to hijack the cup draw? Or is that a rhetorical question which no one has ever bothered to ask?
Dont think it was Joe Miller who scored in that game.
Ray
Aye it wis! Why? ‘Cause a wis there. He did, my friend. It was the only goal and, correct me if I am wrong, but I think that was the first time cards were used as a protest at a football match.
As a wee aside, every time I try to type Rangers these days spell-check highlights “renagers” – that is not a joke. I think my fingers are possessed or haunted more like.
H H
Ray
My sincere and humble apologies. The Joe Millar goal was in 1989 but the Thatcher protest was in 88 centenary cup final (why anyone thought that was appropriate!). I should have remembered. It was the first cup final I took my two wee boys to. Hampden in the sun, Celtic 2 Dundee Utd 1. I checked on Google as it was niggling me when I was picturing the two wee ones under those cards. Sorry, mate.
H H
Is the answer to the quiz that other obscure Icelandic striker – currently playing for the crack Icelandic outfit Akranes Arshholles – Angrypenisspade Flaggingredhandson?
Willie O’Neil which I arrived at by copying the first post that looked right. It’s the Rangers way.
George
Just as your namesake did with Connery. No shame it that and it can earn you a fortune.
H H
Ralph
you are obviously over your hangover. Either that or your lining your stomach for next Tuesday. Great humour today. Sometimes one has simply got to admit defeat and hand over one’s sword to the victor. I surrender my cutlass here and now and leave your piece intact to be savoured by the tongues of the hungry beasts who crave satire.
Can I just add, God love the queen and her armed forces. I pray sincerely for their safety.
Quiz: Yes deep thought required but only if your sober. Willie at the bar in the Gallagate. Well he was when I went there but then, so was William Wallace in between fights. Wouldn’t it have been marvellous if Oneil’s forefinger and middle finger had parted just as it disappeared below the water. An omen or what “V”!
H H
H H
The story above about the Red hand is the same as I knew growing up, the O neill clan, from county Tyrone, were the ones most willing to do anything to win. So the Tyrone GAA badge is the same Red Hand.
If 2nd Rangers want a love in with the armed forces then good luck to them, so long as the armed forces do not become associated with one side of any political or religious historical disputes in West of Scotland or N. Ireland – whoops too late! They ll get their money at the end of the season? Good luck with that! Once bitten twice shy and all.
I know a fair amount of negativity around about the team just now but Van Dijk looks a player, I think Pukki will score 20+ goals, Beoorigiter will have a great game here and there, but like most “pacey” widemen at the level we can buy, be inconsistent, and then Balde, well Ok, I cant get too positive about that!
Ginger Pfister
The East German Left Back from Hannover who once had a trial at Celtic and ended up lost at sea after taking a sight seeing trip round the Kyles of Bute On Thw Waverley with Jinky and Frank MacAvennie “he Just fell oot the boat”a passer by reported.
He turned up 20 years later apprehended near the Gaerloch by the MOD and found to be photographing Subs at Faslane.
He was subsequently deported back to Bonn where a debrief by Rainer Bonhof revealed rather curious photos of an empty warchest tied to a Jetty on the Banks of Loch Fyne near Strachur…Police followed this up and found no issue with the warchest but were more interested in the breach of planning regulations pertaining to said Jetty.
A true Story.
.. The 1st in a long line of Celtic left backs to be proverbially “lost at sea”..
You could not give that outfit in Govan a red neck with a Thermal Lance.
Sorry Ralph, Have to disagree with CL ticket distribution. As a Tim who has supported the Tic since boyhood, a long time may I say, and who just recently gave up my season card due to domestic and work commitments while trying to get to games when I can, it’s a crap decision. The two qualifiers did not attract full houses and there were probably a lot of non season holders like me at the games yet when it comes to the group stages we can all GTF. You’ve only got one backside and that includes season holders.
HH