Celtic Diary Friday August 30

Yesterday  was the draw for the Champions League group stages , or as it was described  over at  Ibrox, Thursday.

Barcelona, Milan, Ajax, Celtic.

Journalists scrambled to think of an original way to describe the four former European champions, thrown together in group H of yesterdays Chamions League draw, but the best description came from the website of Italian side Milan.

“The Group of Nobility ”  After all, they are all previous champions of Europe

Thus affording the sort of respect to the line up that no-one from Sky, Scotland or England could find it in themselves to do. Fair play to Radio Scotland though, they found space in their show to discuss Ajax and their chances in the competition. Great, in depth analysis that discussed the 3-7 formation adopted by the side, and providing a real insight into how they might play, and how Celtic could beat them.

I didn’t listen to it, but I’m sure thats how it went.

Barcelona, the other half of the ” New Firm ” will not be pleased to face Celtic again. Though honours were shared last time out, the Catalan tippy tappers were lucky to scrape a win at their own ground, needing a last minute goal, and were swept away at Celtic Park by Tony Watts superb finish. Argentinian midfielder Lionel Messi gave his reaction to the draw.

Milan, another regular visitor to Celtic Park, both in the group stages and in the last 16, were not overjoyed either. After a vicious assault on keeper Dida in Glasgow, who is still suffering from post traumatic stress syndrome, they won’t relish another duel with the Scottish giants. Although Scott MacDonald, who scored the winner that night could scarcely be described as a giant, unless you are looking at him sidieways. Dida is no longer with the club, and neither are Kaka or Pippi Inzhagi, although the charming Mario Balotelli is, seen here  looking for the guy who stole two rolls of lino from him.

Then we have Ajax, now managed by one of the de Boer twins, but I can’t remember if he was the one who missed a penalty, or the other one, who was a… , and do you know, I feel sure that whatever he was, it rhymed with his name, or was that his brother ?   De Boer was frantically checking with the authorities if he would be liable for any tax when he returns to these shores, but has been reassured by his accountant that seeing as how he didn’t pay any when he lived here, he’s unlikely to face any bills when he returns with his new club. De Boer played seventeen times for the now defunct Glasgow club, which was consistent with the usual value for money they got from their signings at the time.

Mental football fans wearing orange, people openly taking drugs in every street and filthy prostitutes on every corner willing to do anything for money.

Ajax fans are going to love coming to Glasgow

David Murray, who had control of the Ibrox purse strings in those days when they had a purse, albeit filled with someone elses money, also signed de Boers brother, then 30, on a four year deal, and also had his eyes on someone else, according to a BBC report of the time;

The Ibrox club’s spending spree does not look like ending there with Rangers also holding talks with Wimbledon striker John Hartson over a proposed £7m move.

John Hartson arrives at Ibrox

Hartson has already agreed personal terms with Rangers chief David Murray but the Ibrox chief insisted the Hartson deal would only go through if the Wimbledon forward passes his medical.

Murray said: “There is the possibility that the medical might not go well because it is very strict.

“We would ask him to stay a bit longer on Thursday, but he has to catch up with the Welsh squad and that might stop us doing a full medical and if that is the case then it is a possibility that the deal will be off.

“We have made mistakes in the past and we don’t want those things to happen again.”

…And pay especial attention tae his back…

That picture. of course, is from the old “Scotch and Wry ” show, where Rikki Fulton plays a Rangers manager who is surprised to find that the new forward, played by Gerard Kelly, is , in fact , the brother of the local cardinal and goes under the name of Brendan O’ Malley. To help him fail his medical, Fulton slams a cigar box onto his hand.

Oh, those days of happy innocent fun, when the only person brave enough to point out what was blatant racism was a music hall comedian.

Scotland, the best wee country in the world.

These days, of course, Rangers don’t exist, and I’d like to think that Fulton would be pleased about this. After all, he kind of set the ball rolling….

Anyway, back to the Champions League, and as usual everyone has written Celtic off, which is strange, but not really surprising.

Celtic start in Milan, and as usual, opening games will be cautious. No-one wants to lose the first game, so we should get a point out of that one-our last visit took an extra time wonder goal from Kaka to separate the teams. Then its a home game against Barcelona, which is a straightforward enough match. The catalans are not as good as they used to be , when we beat them, so thats a home win, as will the following game be when Ajax come to town.

De Boer will be welcomed to Celtic Park, but although the Amsterdam side tend to do rather better in Glasgow than they do at home, but the terrific home record of Celtic will see another three points in the bag-then its off to Amsterdam , where Celtic always win, so that gives us ten points , with a home game against Milan, who we beat more often than not in Glasgow, giving us thirteen points, qualification, and a chance to ease off in the Nou Camp to help our old friends join us in the latter stages.

When you look at it like that…

Celtic will also benefit from being under relatively little pressure to do well, and when you compare that , with say, the courtroom artist at the upcoming trial of Rolf Harris, then its another plus point.

There should be a couple of signings this weekend as well, to strengthen the team, although I was a little peturbed when Peter Lawwell was heard to comment on how successful the transfer window has been, as we now have much more money than when it started.

Expect Pukki and Birton to be unveiled shortly, and perhaps someone else…

Also made yesterday was the draw for the League Cup, which threw up a battle of the hoops when Celtic host Morton. The game means money will flow into the coffers of a side who have been struggling financially, and with the news that each SPFL side will benefit to the tune of £150,000 from Celtics UCL run, its nice to see Armageddon staved off for a while yet.

Except for one team, for whom this is all too late.

With the difficult-so I thought -puzzle featuring the states of the US only taking thirteen minutes to solve, I figured the even more difficult one yesterday would take even longer. It actually was solved a minute before it was posted, when buyhisellowgreen correctly identified Neil Lennon from the picture of Lenny the Lion, a ventriloquists puppet from yesteryear.

That should keep you busy.