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Celtic Diary Thursday July 25

Celtic have accepted a bid from QPR for the services of striker Gary Hooper. Supposedly around £5m , it will give the ambitious Englishman the chance to be near his family in Londonshire, and cut down on all those tiresome midweek games in Europes premier competition.

Eighty two goals in 138 games for Celtic will be difficult to replace, but if he doesn’t want to be in Glasgow, then its a simple case of collecting the money and dropping him off at Central station.

The whole episode is depressing, and for all that we think Celtic are the biggest club in the world, its a sign of the times that second tier English sides can pay more than we can. Or, at least, are willing to pay more than we are. Which sounds a little better.

Hopefully, the management have someone lined up to replace Hooper, and that someone doesn’t have a surname that rhymes with boil. Though chucking the new signing straight into the upcoming Elfsborg game would be a mistake, bringing back memories of the Artmedia game, when Gordon Strachan complained that some of the players had never even met.

Hooper hasn’t gone yet, and Neil Lennon hasn’t given up hope of keeping him, but it all seems rather futile now. Any other interested clubs know what it will take to get Hooper, and at £5m he is a bargain.

QPR boss Harry “the lad ” Redknapp claims its good for Celtic to be getting that kind of money for Hooper, which means he knows he has a bargain. Hooper is believed to be unsure about the method of payment from the London club, but Redknapp has assured him that banks are not to be trusted after the recent City scandals, and all clubs now pay wages on service station car parks at four in the morning.

There are several names in the frame to replace him, but as usual it looks like the MSM have just had a wee look down the A-Z of European strikers and listed whichever ones they felt like. Lennon has already said his target is one not mentioned thus far, and that is usually the case. In general, the support is happy with that, as long as its not Kris Boyd.

One reason to doubt any stories in the MSM, apart from their track record, surfaced in the Daily Record, which claimed that Mario Balotelli of Milan was desperate for his team to avoid Celtic in the final play off round of the qualifiers. The Record ran with the story, neglecting to mention that such a tie was impossible under the rules, as Celtic will be in a different section of the draw, as champions, than Milan, who are in the also- rans pot.

Still, when it comes to football and its rules, the MSM have been wilfully ignorant in the past, such as when tax dodging teams were liquidated, instead they used the term “relegated “.

Stilian Petrov has launched his leukaemia foundation, and has thanked Celtic for their help:

” I have been given a great opportunity from Celtic to start my foundation with a game here at Parkhead. Obviously all the money will be split between two or three charities and i hope we will raise enough money to start the foundation and to make a difference right from the start. ”

As well as the game, which is on September 8, and will feature several famous faces from the past, some of the Celtic staff will take part in a 10,000 feet Skydive, on August 25. Thats in Glenrothes on August 25, and again, net proceeds will go to Stilians charity.

Falling out of a plane from that height requires an awful lot of courage, and a complete refusal to understand exactly what you are doing. We wish them luck.

Another example of MSM and its top class objective writing came from Hugh Keevins last week, and after reading it at the time, it was dismissed as a parody akin to the legendary Tin Soldier, on the KDS forum, who echoes the writing style of  some of our, er, finer hacks in such a way that often the unsuspecting reader thinks it is by the actual journalist. Not wishing to look foolish, the diary ignored Keevins succulent lamb piece. But, it turns out, astonishingly, to be real.

keevins shite

Hugh will be absent from the paper later this year, we hear, as he undergoes surgery to have his tongue removed from Ally McCoists not inconsiderable arse.

Which , according to reports leaked a bit when the re-named Auchenhowie complex was struck by lightning the other day. Sevco media have released a free to watch-unusual for them-video of the event, which shows the reaction of several of their players.

4553-lightning-hits-at-auchenhowie

Etims diary can reveal that the noise in the background ,  the flash on the video,  and the subsequent reaction of the players was not , in fact due to a thunderstorm, but manager Ally McCoist falling out of the new team bus and grabbing the stalk that flashes the lights in an attempt to steady himself.

The new club was on its travels again yesterday, spreading joy and happiness in the northern English city of Sheffield. Happily , for one fan and his minder, it coincided with the filming of “Britains Top model”, and they took a break to pose for a publicity shot.

hun and cop

The hordes were out to impress, even presenting a banner trumpeting the birth of some baby who was born to an unemployed couple from London in some sort of multi channel reality tv show.

billy and katie

 

Whilst Sevco fans concentrated on the birth of their future spiritual leader, perhaps one or two of them might need their attention brought to a couple of tweets…

The Rangers Football Club Limited Annual Return way overdue? Why? pic.twitter.com/7fGiQsCUkL

PM Offline Member Profile

 

24 Jul 13

@Heavidor @joek1974 There simply must be something toxic on that return that they want hidden.

@FrPaulStone @joek1974 There is a charge over the assets. Who? Could it be…….no, surely not!

 

Looks like the fun is about to start again.

Now , if its fun you want. Read this.

From TC12002, comes his next masterpiece. The zombie handbook, to help those who need i

Peter Grant was the glamourous player in yesterdays picture, as remembered so fondly by many, many of you.

Name these two pals, who were obviously very fond of each other.

pals

**STOP PRESS**

As hinted in yesterday Diary Norwich also stepped back into the ring and  have a bid accepted after  PokerFace Peter Lawwell asked “Anyone beat a 3 day £5m bank transfer?”. Looks like Hooper is away to the EPL.  Our pal and big Tim, Robert Snodgrass can discuss Celtic’s European results with him down there.

Poor old ‘Arry…theres 3 words that you wont see very often!

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Jim Cairns
10 years ago

Is it Eyal and BBJ?

Dave M
10 years ago

That keevins article is incredible! It’s almost as if someone from servco told him what to write. Maybe thats what the myth took him aside to do? Or maybe keevins ia jabbas new pen name.

waco61
10 years ago

harty & burckabitch

binkabhoy
10 years ago

Eyal and BBJ, who forgave the former for dirtying his boots with his head.

Stevie
10 years ago
GaryBhoy
10 years ago

“Ally McCoist falling out of the new team bus”….surely that must be the the “new”‘new team bus’

willie tim 67
10 years ago

just remember anyone who disagrees with shug is a fundementalist

as for hooper good riddance you,ii love fighting relegation and never get to wear the three lion hope norwich lose every game next season

Frank McGaaaaarvey
10 years ago

Why do folk get so worked up over articles written by boozed-up nobodies who are purely in it to wind-up fans by penning deliberately provocative and controversial columns? They have won purely and simply by the very fact that even mentioning these arses by name gives them some sort of credence.

Opinions are like arses, everybody has one. Why give certain ‘newspaper bampots’ the time of day by even discussing their worthless piles if jizz parading as journalism?

Anyway, tata Hoops and a genuine all the best. Let’s move on with the squad we have (and hopefully with a couple of real quality additions, not just ‘rough gems’) who want to be here and get on with the next crucial couple of weeks we have in the offing.

Onwards and upwards.

PS, the above pic was BBJ’s idea of an apology to Berkovic for walloping him. “There, there, did a big boy hit you? Mammy will kiss it better.”

Charlie Saiz
10 years ago

“Opinions are like arsholes…we all have them and sometimes they are full of shit”
Fixed that for ye Frank.

HH

Frank McGaaaaarvey
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

Touche

Brian Murray
10 years ago

Eyal really helped johns game out a lot when they were both at west ham. John used eyals head to hone his volleying technique.

10 years ago

Skydiving: The most fun you can have with your pants on …

Maniche
10 years ago

BBJ and BBJ(Blootered By John)

Pensionerbhoy
10 years ago

Ralph

That Storybrooke’s a tease! It had us all down in London when all the time the real world was the fen country where Garry Hooper will have distant horizons to aim for. For sure, he is in the right place to see his next European game – far, far away over the ….. I was annoyed at just £12m for Wanyama but £5+m for Hooper suits me just fine. You see, I do not see him in the same light as many. Yes, he has scored goals but not as many as a top class player should. Remember what he played against in most of those 138 games. So you see, I do not regard him as a bargain at £5m. I paid 10/- for my wife. Now there IS a bargain and if anyone would like to put in an offer over £1 (no, the name’s not Murray) is in with a BIG shout.

I hear the replacement is a guy called Mill, Rumour Mill. Can’t wait to see him go, round and round and round. Maybe Mr. Keevins is best suited to push him – with his tongue up his….. of course. I am leaving his cream topping for later as I always have the gooy desert last. If it proves sh**ty then you can simply leave it without spoiling the rest of your meal. So Hugh’s poos after this. Be prepared. I may want to bring it all up in another comment.

Wow, and God sent a sign out of the blue. Or did the story just come to someone in Auchenhowie in a flash. No, pictures cannot lie. If you do not believe me, ask the Islamists of Achill Island. At least it proved that they are untouchable even for God or as they will claim, it proves they are innocent of all lightning charges.

I hope Stan Petrov’s night turns out to be a bumper one for his charity. He is proving to be a real-life hero and a true legend. I will keep my fingers crossed it is not a remembrance ceremony for the skydivers. I would love to be an observer from inside the plane but no one will insure me for flying since I had my wings clipped and my ticker re-piped. Truth is I am scared of flying so it is ground control to Major Tom for me.

I didn’t know the guy from The Goonies had joined The Zombies. Nice that he took the copper’s hat off before giving him a Glesga kiss. We wouldn’t want there to be any evidence of malpractice levelled at the Sevco Saints and their choirs of angels. I guess it would be Songs of Praise in Sheffield then. Pity those Yorkshire folk don’t know the Scottish hymns. Mind you, one of them should. He encouraged the singing of them often enough. Och, I’m on a high today so enough of the blues but have to comment on the state of the Scottish roads especially in the outback. I guess a lot of the ruts are a result of Ally falling from that bus or the new one or the replacement or the one that McGills will be supplying now the competitor is burnt out.

The photo of the two stalwarts who once donned the hoops is one of BBJ and Berkovic. It is BBJ biting his ear off before kicking him hard in the goollies – well that’s where I think his brains were. They were both at West Ham at the time under Our ‘Arry who is now trying to find a dog for Garry Hooper in the hope he can make him a better offer.

H H

Charlie Saiz
10 years ago

If Celtic fail to replace Hooper before the window shuts with someone of similar ilk.
Doyle will not score 25 goals a Season.
Austin most probably would.

Charlie Saiz
10 years ago
Reply to  Charlie Saiz

….sorry got distracted there…if Celtic fail to replace Hooper in this window l think they will have let the whole support severely down.
Very quick to cash in and grab the millions (and we now know theres plenty of them)yet very slow to spend them it seems?

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