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Celtic Diary Friday June 14

Amido Balde has signed for Celtic on a four year deal. he cost £1.8m from Vitoria Guimares, although due to a court order from Portugal we cannot publish Vitorias picture again, am I allowed  within 250 metres of her. A sad end to a promising relationship.

Balde had a few words to say on his arrival;

“I am very happy to sign my contract with celtic. I’m proud to sign for Celtic and want to do everything I can to take this opportunity , work hard and grow as a player. I fell in love with the club three years ago and I watched every game on TV. When I saw the Barcelona game last year it was crazy and I loved the crowd. After watching that game there are no words I can say to describe what it will mean for me to play for Celtic. ”

Well, none that we would believe, anyway. Credit has to go to the scouting staff, for being able to spot this guy despite him spending a disproportionate time in front of Sky Sports watching the hoops and dreaming of playing for them.

Still, he at least is making an attempt to sound enthusiastic, and who knows, maybe I’m misjudging him ?

The player says his style is similar to that of Emmanuel Adeboyer, leading to a collective groan from the gathered hacks as they realised none of them knew how to spell it.

He comes highly rated by everyone who has ever worked with him, offers something completely different up front, and I suppose if he’s half as good as he thinks he is, then he’ll be twice as good as anyone else we’ve got.

Hull City have upped their offer for Gary Hooper, and will no doubt keep doing that for a couple of months yet.A Hull City website published an interesting article on it, commenting that while Celtic buy players on the cheap.they certainly won’t let them go on the cheap. After raking in £6m for Ki Seung Yeung, you have to admit he has a point.

Other clubs are reputedly monitoring the situation, and there will be other offers. Hooper, for someone who has been an important player for Celtic in his time in Glasgow, divides the support in a way not seen since the days of Peter Grant, with some happy to accept a paltry £5m or so, and others wanting to keep him whatever the cost.

Put simply, he scores goals , he’s young and he will improve. Celtic will struggle to get a replacement of similar quality for £5m. Unless , of course , he is already here…

Anthony Stokes was not charged with hitting an Elvis impersonator the other night. He was , however , interviewed as a witness. This tiny detail means that the story will now be dropped from the national press, (motto, innocent until proven Irish ” ) and the lad can get on with his holiday in peace. Then, hopefully the hand he did not hit the guy with will be sufficiently mended for him to sign his contract with.

The rumour of another major signing grew more legs during the podcast recorded last night, as Hector Bandido confirmed that he too, had heard about a medical being booked next week.In order to make it sound like we actually knew something, we edited out the bit where Desi Mond reminded us it was him who told the both of us, back on April first.

Ever since the old Rangers died, almost exactly a year ago today, there have been considerable attempts to re-write history by their adoring fans in the media. STV , desperate to find some angle to diminish any achievements by Celtic, decided to ask who would have won the league had only goals from Scottish players counted. STV, who have a wee deal with Mediahouse, headed by Jack Irvine, who is in charge of  media relations at Ibrox, were spectacularly disappointed when it turned out Celtic would have still won the league, but took a little comfort in that it would only have been on goal difference.

Whoever drummed up the idea, and it may just have been a social media experiment to begin with, obviously forgot about the likes of Mulgrew, Commons , Brown, Forrest, Watt, and the contributions they made .

Poignantly, on the near anniversary of the deathof Rangers, (1872-2012 ), this was found on the web when I was having a look around. Its an excellent cartoon, obviously one  which has had a lot of work put into it. And importantly, its the best summation of what happened to our old foes I have seen anywhere. Whoever put this together, well done. Its superb.

 

 

  

 

           

   

    

Happy Liquidation Day!

However, , all that could be behind them now, as Keiron Prior, a man with an IQ of 234, making him the cleverest man in the world, has just pumped £400-600,000 into some shares at Sevco, which of course doesn’t even make him the cleverest man in Govan.

The Record, presumably not learning from wealth off the scale, went with his IQ being off the scale with a gushing report.

kieran-prior-bought-share-rangers-1951831

So, who is he?

Kieran Prior – The Priority Trust

When someone puts that much effort into publicising what a good guy he is, then he usually isn’t. Just another vulture circling, by the look of it, with his share purchase merely propping up or attempting to reverse the falling share price.

Still, I could be wrong, but it isn’t likely.

Finally, seen something on the news today. apparently prolonged heading of the ball can lead to brain damage. Wow. Derek Johnstone must have been doing it while he was still in the womb.

And finally final. Raphael Scheidt was the guy in the photo who probably won’t appear on John Barnes cv. Not that anyone with a job vacancy would get as far as reading Barnes cv.

This guy, when asked by a Celtic manager why he was seen coming out of a pub at eleven o’clock at night, replied, “Because it was closing. ”

Who is he?

tommy macinally

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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danboo
10 years ago

Can anyone clear up one thing for me.

Do Celtic now own this guys contrat/rights 100%.

when we bought him, his rights were owned by 3 parties and I’m wondering if they still have his rights in some way? Like, do we only have a certain percentage of his sell on.

Cheers.

Danboo

Andy
10 years ago

Charlie Napier – happy feet I think he was nick named. A winger.

Tony B
10 years ago

That Sashes to Ashes is brilliant.

Is it being released as a publication and if so where can I buy it?

10 years ago
Reply to  Tony B

I found it on the web. Only wish i knew who did it. I think its superb.

KIERAN Gallagher
10 years ago

Tommy McInally..the original wild one!!

Frank McGaaaaarvey
10 years ago

Brilliant, brilliant comic strip. Many thanks for posting that. Utterly hilarious and informative all in the same breath. Show it to any buns and they might attempt to read it and understand their mental illnesses, probably whilst holding their fingers in their ears and going “la la la la la I can’t hear you” even though that would be stupid whilst reading something.

It it completely futile trying to drum this into the average bun. They refuse to accept the inevitability of what happened to them, preferring to exist in la-la land and without giving concession to them pesky Taigs – “No surrender Jeeves, what?”.

Of course, in a country where the mainstream media actually had a pair of gonads, there wouldn’t be all of this mass denial and confusion.

Pensionerbhoy
10 years ago

Ralph

It is return to the kitchen day so I have only my lunch break to get this done.

Mr. Balde: Will be good to see what he is like when his head is out of the clouds. One would imagine that will be the first day he bends down to tie his boot laces.

Hull City: I am glad it took an old hag, (sorry DID you write hack?) to tell them we are no suckers so they can go look for a cheapy elsewhere.

Anthony: “This tiny detail means that the story will now be dropped from the national press, (motto, innocent until proven Irish ” )”. Probably enough said. I wonder what kind of contract Lenny has out for him, mind.

Rumour Mill: The water gets murkier by the minute but the wheel keeps turning. With yours, Desi’s and Hector’s shoulders to the wheel, it should be going at some speed by next week.

Media: Two good reasons to ignore 1) Rangers 2) STV. That’s all folks!

Keiren Prior: The jury is out but he could really be a very “good” guy. Judge not lest…you get it wrong!

Derek J: Head damaged by heading? It is probably the cause of his mouth dribbling too.

Comic strip: No chance of getting time off right now to go through that lot. I am looking forward to it filling in a sleepless night.

Photo: I go for Tommy McInally for two reasons 1) He has the same family name as me and 2) I can remember my father telling me about his exploits. I think he had a drink problem too among several other behavioural difficulties. I am sure my faither said he was like greyhound too. Ring any bells more recently and currently?

I’m off before she gies me another belter.

H H

elcormaco
10 years ago

How good is sashes to ashes- so well researched, beautifully drawn and informative. It should be sent out with season itcket renewals for Sevco fans as there seems to be a lot of revisionism and collective amnesia going on over there!

I have a simple view – if they pay the debts of rangers they are rangers, otherwise they are a zom bie tribute act

Pensionerbhoy made the point the other day that if the same had happened to celtic he would be doing as they’re doing and playing the “move on,same club, nothing to see here” card and he is probably right. However wee fergus did pay the debt – god bless him – as he didnt want the embarassment to the Club and having to deal with “new co” accusations. You couldnt redden their faces with a blow torch.

I’d forgotten the whole “give liquidation the red card thing” – so funny to see it now – the same people who a year ago were acknowledging that liquidation would mean what it means – the club / company is dead, now arguing in their usual rational, controlled fashion that the club is alive, well and with its history unbroken – the 140 anniversary day – please, trying too hard there maybe guys?

Being a svco fan now must be quite a blood twisting experience, trying to remember what is currently dead/ alive, oldco/ new co, or is it just two piles – debts – the walking away pile, ra boys in blue – forever rangers?

Ultimately a club is alive if the people following it believe it to be so, and having seen themselves argue black is white to convince themselves it seems most sevco fans believe they are following the same team.

I am angry at the shafting of the public purse, lack of any acceptance that this is wrong and any public apology or contrition for that, and so for me they are and will always be a new club – unless they pay Rangers debts.

goofybhoy88
10 years ago

brilliant wee story
very funny , and very informative at the same time,
well done :)))

liatroimbhoy
10 years ago

Sashes to Ashes – best thing I’ve seen in years. Well done that man…

Maniche
10 years ago

Tommy McInally – it says so when you move the mouse over the picture ya diddy! 🙂

Tony Paterson
10 years ago

Sashes to Ashes is quite simply the best thing on the Internet detailing the whole fiasco.

Is there any way to highlight this somewhere so more Tims (and zombs) can have the privilege of reading it?

dannyh
10 years ago

well when you right click on the photo to save it it says Tommy McInally

so i’m guessing that’s who it is?

10 years ago

brilliant cartoon strip – I had a very recent argument with a sevconian who claims they’re the same club because the advertising standards agency said so. I’d love to pass the strip on to him – can anyone tell me where it can be found on the web?

10 years ago
Reply to  andy docherty

Scroll up

John F Kennedy
10 years ago

The Advertising Standards Agency comments were risible nonsense. Quite funny but pathetic also. To be fair they probably don,t want fatty demanding to know their names…………………

Hailbaz
10 years ago

44 and counting we welcome the chase hailhail Sashes to ashes brill tell all the Huns hahaha

Bigbananafeet
10 years ago

Sashes to ashes is absolutely spot on. That is the best summary of the comedy farce that has been the hun. 10 out of 10.

Pensionerbhoy
10 years ago

Just read Ashes…for a second time just to refresh my memory of what happened – ’cause I had forgotten, see. It is so cleverly conceived, absolutely brilliantly formulated, and superbly encapsulates all that went on in dark corners in a whole raft of corridors of power. It also exposes the abominable audacity of men who openly flaunted all regulations, systems and sense of honour, not to mention morality. As someone has mentioned, it really does highlight the tragi-comic essence of the whole Rangers saga, not just for them but for all us football fans. Your praise of the piece sums it up most eloquently, Ralph,
“And importantly, its the best summation of what happened to our old foes I have seen anywhere. Whoever put this together, well done. Its superb.”

H H

jonnybhoy
10 years ago

enjoyed sashes to ashes but the bit about UEFA site and RFC last game isn’t difinitive as UFA only record top flight games – though the Derry City decision is promising

10 years ago

SASHES TAE ASHES PURE DED AMAZIN’,READ AND WEEP YOU M-NKEE BUN BASTOORZ,

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