Lights, Camera, Celtic

Our resident Parkhead Forge Cinema Goer, Thomas Rogne, takes a break from the Physios Couch and gives us the latest guide to the movies that are showing near Celtic Park. The lovely Norwegian even provides us with some sneak previews to the big movies that are coming soon…

Out Now

1 The Hangover Part III (15)
Madcap comedy where an Idiot, a Square and a Smart-Mouth get into hi-jinx capers! You may have thought that last year was the end of them…no chance! Wee Craigy, Campbell and Chuck are back for more shenanigans!(get up to some! – for East Kilbride CSC)

2 Fast And Furious 6 (12A)
I thought this was a movie about Antony Stokes’ punches in a Dublin bar…sadly not, just a daft car film I’m afraid!

3 Epic 3D (U)
The story of Gordon Smiths Epic fall from grace. Once the top man, the big wig, of Scottish football so to speak; Now a dud facing a life on lifes rug of bankruptcy shame.  Proof that Justice can indeed prevail!

4 Star Trek Into Darkness (3D)
The story of Johnny Russell heading to Derby. God knows what he was thinking ( £20 grand a week – Ed!)

5 The Great Gatsby (3D)
Finally a movie worthy of the classic novel. Thats right Downfall by Oor Phil is finally on screen. Leonardo di Caprio plays David Murray, a man who seems to have it all but in fact has nothing. Will it all end tits up, you betcha! Potential Oscar nominations for Toby Maguire as a bleary eyed Martin Bain recalling the heady yet doom-laden days!

6 The Purge (15)
The incredible story of how the SFL tried to clean up Scottish Football with Ethan Hawke in award winning make up as Turnbull Hutton. A harrowing tale highlighting that while dreams seldom come true, occasionally nightmares do!

7 Mud (12A)
The Simpsons groundsman Willie gets his own movie. This time the madman has returned home and in an attempt to make money, plants tatties at Fir Park Motherwell.  No-one notices the difference.

Coming Soon

Man Of Steel (3D)(12A)
The most eagerly anticipated movie of the year. Henry Cavell stars in The David Murray Story. One man believes he is out of this world…but every man has a green weakness!

Admission (12A)
Bittersweet, more bitter than sweet, comedy about Rangers trying to stay in the SPL. Michael Sheen continues in his football impersonations, first Cloughie, now he plays a manic  Watty Smith. You will howl as you watch him jumping from one camp to another trying to look important and snag some Boardroom cash while not snagging his cardigan.

Snitch (12A)
The Rock and Co ask “Just who is Charlotte fakeover?”

World War Z (3D)
What would it be like if your world collapsed and loads of ugly hordes took to the Glasgow  streets full of bile and rage? This documentary about the unkettled “Save Rangers March” to Hampden shows it all in harrowing 3D.

Despicable Me 2 (3D) (U)
After David Murray starred in Despicable Me, now its Charles Grees turn in Despicable Me 2. How low can one man go?…just  ask his “little friend”

Paradise: Love
Love, the first film in the PARADISE TRILOGY takes place on the swooning stands of Celtic Park. PARADISE: Love tells of older women and younger men. Elaine C Smith narrates this story about Celtic’s female fans and their love for the men in white shorts.