Celtic Diary Tuesday June 4

The girl in the picture is Karen Thomson, who used to be one of the girls on the side of Tennents Lager cans, way back in the nineties. Her flat got raided on May 22. She’s allegedly been growing “skunk “- a strong narcotic-, which is used by people who watch the “Jeremy Kyle show ” and wear pyjamas until teatime.

So what?

Well, it just so happens that her upstairs neighbour is Neil Lennon. So, of course, the headline reads;

“Fenian druglord forces  neighbour to take the rap. ”

Well, nearly;

” Cannabis farm found under Neil Lennons flat in apartment of former Tennents Lager girl Karen Thomson. ”

Same sort of thing, really. What possible justification is there to have Lennons name in the story, let alone headline. Especially with the subtle implication that it was under Lennons flat, and thus part of the managers property.

Elsewhere in the paper, a story about catholic schools causing the bankruptcy of former SFA and Rangers man Gordon Smith was held off for another day.

Other papers concentrated on trying to get rid of Gary Hooper. Its his turn today, and Sunderland joined the list of clubs vying for his signature. So, its Hull, Norwich, Southampton, QPR, and Sunderland. You couldn’t take all the good players from these teams and form a decent eleven. In fact, there isn’t one worth looking at.

No-one is trying to influence Hoopers decision here, but even he should be able to see the word “Obscurity ” above the front doors of all these places.

Perhaps the arrogance of the EPL sides will work in Celtics favour. The big clubs won’t take him-their fans demand expensive foreign imports, and the wee  clubs won’t be able to satisfy any professional ambitions he-or any other Celt-would have. Failing that, show him a contract, tell him its just an autograph, and get him to sign. He’ll thank us for it later.

Richard Wilson, writing in the herald

Sorry, i got mixed up.

Quite how I  managed to confuse a man who is blissfully unaware of the realities of life going on around him with a Tom Hanks character  is beyond me.

Anyway, he has asked Tom Boyd what he thinks about Celtics transfer policy for this summer. Boyd thinks that Celtic don’t have to do anything until after the qualifiers, which is a sensible and well thought out comment. Although sensible and well thought out comments are the reason why we don’t see more of Boyd in the media, its important that guys like him are used to redress the imbalance caused by the likes of Derek Johnstone , Billy Dodds, Pat Nevin and so on. (I could have gone on forever with that list )

Wilson , however, although giving free rein to  Boyd, cannot resist such lines as

“It is widely thought Hooper would welcome a return to England. ”

“It is Wanyama who appears to be attracting the most significant interest. Mark Hughes, the new Stoke City manager , is known to be a keen admirer. ”

As long as idiots like this perpetuate the myth that footballers are only interested in money, and are all working towards a move south, then the game is doomed. How do you sell a product whilst running it into the ground at every opportunity. See when Wilson sells his car, I’m in for it.

“Its not as good as my neighbours motor, but you can have it cheap because theres not as many traffic lights in Glasgow, so its never really been tested at a decent level. ”

Have a word with yourself Wilson, you are making a living from the game. Put something back into it.

Comparing and contrasting headlines can be fun. The Evening times, under the byline of Matthew Lindsay, has this at the top of his story;

” Rangers signing Arnold Peralta tipped to be box office smash-just like Emilio Izzaguerre ”

Izzaguerre, says the report, has been a “revelation ” since his arrival in Glasgow, and in his first season won every player of the year award going.

So , what of Peralta?

“He’s a different type of player to Emilio ” said a reporter from Honduras. Yes, he is. If he was any good he wouldn’t be signing for Sevco Rangers.

Granted, he is an international, and it was an easy choice for him, he says, to join Rangers so he can pull on the “Famous light blue jersey. ”

Light blue? Really? Wonder what else they have told him.

Thats what they will be wearing for the remainder of their lifespan. Until they regenerate around Christmas time. Like Doctor Who, really, but the story lines at Ibrox are more far fetched and the characters less believable.

Incidentally, the big “We Are The People ” pitch to sell season books has begun. Still peddling the myth about lowering prices last year, to reward staunchness and loyalty, ( The SFL has a ceiling on season book prices ) they have frozen them as a further reward and its Walter Smiths turn to tell them the club is in safe hands.

Like it was the last time he was anywhere near the chequebook. Although we do hear that Gandalf, from the Lord of the Rings stories will be asked to join the coaching staff.

“You shall not pass. ”

The Govan new club claims it has not been approached about the possibility of playing in any new SPL2 set up. despite “reports suggesting ” and “speculation ” that they would be asked to join. Craig Mather, who is the current CEO claims he wants to work his way through the leagues and isn’t interested.

So, they plant a story with favoured journalists, then say they don’t want to join anyway.

All thats left is the punchline;

“If the rest of Scottish football thinks that we (Rangers ) would be best serving the Scottish game by entering SPL 2 , it would be with great reluctance that we bow to their wishes. Whilst we , ourselves alone ( okay they might not use those two words ) have no designs to be given any help in reaching our rightful position at the top of the game, we must consider the wishes of the majority, and not just our own , narrow self interests.”

In fact, tell you what. Bet they meet us halfway and ask to go straight in at the top.

Actually, Ally McCoist is unable  to do any more interviews for a while. Apparently, with Michael Douglas claiming to have caught oral cancer from giving oral sex, reporters have decided en masse to avoid fannies for the time being.

Never mind. Back to the big clubs.

Dundee Utd have accepted an offer of £750,000 for Johnny Russell. Manager Jackie MacNamara has said it is up to the player now, and the Etims Diary expects Neil Lennon to pick the phone up, match or better it, and bring him home.

But then again, we’ve been wrong before.

The Daily Mail thinks we have made a bid for Amigo Balde, the shy, retiring, forward from Vitoria Guimares.

And so it continues…..

Roll on next season.

The man in the picture yesterday was Sandy “Duke ” MacMahon, who scored more goals against Rangers than any other Celt. A record that will never be beaten.

This is Bertie Peacock, who a few of you thought it was.

Heres the Duke

They are similar.

You’ve all heard of cover girls. But who is the cover bhoy?