Celtic Diary Friday October 9: International Idiocracy

Scotland won a game.

 

On penalties as well.

 

You could cut the tension with a knife, if you hadn’t already slashed your wrists with it whilst watching.

 

It means that for the first time in a genration the national team could well take part in the latter stages of a tournament, even if they couldn’t exactly be described as a team that would grace the latter stages, or, indeed, as a team that would grace the earlier stages.

 

I watched the highlights, if thats the correct term, on EBT Sportscene, and coincidentally, Stephen Thompson and Chris Iwelumo played a part in the last Scotland game I took any notice of, and it was re-assuring to note that their contributions to the game on the field are matched entirely by their contributions on it.

 

 

The only reason I stuck with it was to see if the referee would decide at full time that both teams were shite and they should both be dismissed from the tournament by preventing extra time and penalties.

 

 

 

International football is a pain in the arse, further evidence for this came when two backroom members of the Irish staff tested positive for Covid 19, and there is talk that the SFA are examining cctv footage to see if they were in close contact with Shane Duffy.

 

If they can’t find any, they’ll concentrate on seeing how close he was to Aaron connolly and Adam Idah, who had to go into self isolation as they had been in contact with the backroom guys.

 

Failing that, they’ll pay just find someone at the hospital with a WATP tattoo and send him up to Lennoxtown with his hugging jacket on.

 

 

With Ryan Christie negative and set to miss the Glasgow derby, and Oddsone Edouard positive but showing signs of fatigue recently likely to miss out as well, Neil Lennon doesn’t need any more worries about his players health or availability, especially as both Nir Biton and Hatem El Ahmed spoke to Calum MacGregor during the game, who probably texted Christie to see if he was alright.

 

Celtic should simply say no to releasing players for these games. They have a duty of care to them, and the SFA cannot be trusted to look after them.

 

Bear in mind that SFA chiefs refused to travel on the last international break due to health fears, but somehow its okay to put players at risk….

 

James Lietch, the National clinical Care director, explained how it all works…

 

“The local health protection team in the Lothians treats footballers the way it treats workers in call centres or you in your media job or me.

“We phone up the positive case, we ask the positive case their history, where they’ve been for two days prior to their symptoms beginning.

“That’s sometimes very straightforward but sometimes, particularly in football, it’s slightly more complex. 

 

“And then they make a judgement about who they have been in close contact with.

“They understand the nature of hotel rooms versus houses versus cafes or diners or buses.

“The health protection team in Lothian have decided who the contacts are and those contacts have been asked to self-isolate.

“I cannot intervene or second guess what that process is. That’s exactly how the process should work and footballers are not treated any differently in that bit of the process than any other member of our society.”

 

So, they phone someone up after he tests positive and he tells them who he has been around, and then they get told to isolate.

 

Sounds foolproof.

Almost no chance of it being abused.

 

 

Unless there is a complete and total lockdown again, there can be no end in sight to the curent global health crisis, and this was shown when reports emerged that “rangers ” fans were trying to organise a day out to Blackpool, and this rather classy establishment…

 

 

…on and around October 17 so they can watch the game against Celtic.

 

Am I the only one who thonks the Record could have been a little more critical in their reporting….

 

Rangers pub in Blackpool has been reportedly bombarded with booking requests from Scottish fans desperate to watch next week’s Old Firm derby.

Bosses at The Gallant Pioneer say they have received 48 messages from supporters north of the border since new restrictions were announced on hospitality yesterday.

Licensed premises in the central belt will close for 16 days from tomorrow, while tougher measures were confirmed on pubs and restaurants elsewhere in the country.

It means that the majority of fans from both clubs will have to watch the first Old Firm clash of the Scottish Premiership season from their home. 

 

Tha last line implies that watching the game with your pals is more important than trying to curb the spread of a virus that has already caused thousands of deaths and done considerable damage to quite a few who survived it.

 

Then again, what self respecting virus would go anywhere near that rancid lot ?

 

 

Some diehard Gers fans appear to be seeking alternative ways of securing a date at the pub for the occasion.

The Gallant Pioneer has insisted that it will host supporters, but only on a first come first served basis. 

 

They are indeed the People. Incredibly fucking stupid people, but people nonetheless.

 

Happily, Lancashire Police will now be fully aware of the possibility of the hordes rampaging south, and after their behaviour in Manchester will undoubtedly be turned back.

 

Which will no doubt cause embarrassment when it’s doscovered just how many of their northern brothers will be on those buses….

 

Note also that the fans who are flagrantly breaching the rules are described as “diehard “.

 

Surely the correct term is “fucking idiots ” ?

 

Earlier in the week, we mentioned that it was a straight head to head for this weeks Etims

 

Knob of the Week 

 

award, and it was a close call between David Tanner, the former whatever it was he did, and charlie nicholas, who still does wht he did despite being told he isn’t getting paid for it any more.

 

I cannot choose between them, as both fully deserve the award for their comments, not only because they were ridiculous comments, but because you felt they actually believed what they were saying, like when Donald Trump tweeted that his blood was the vaccine that would stop Covid.

 

So, in the replies, you can choose.

 

In older people , dementia is the most common sympton of covid, according to the Tracker App Zoe, which records that sort of thing, and I’m not exactly sure about how that works.

 

For instance, if an elderly man, such as hugh Keevins was to contract the virus and display signs of becoming symptomatic, who would notice ?

 

Or should we ring up Radio Clyde and warn him to isolate…..in fact, they’d all have to isolate.

 

This has been a

 

My Public Service Announcement | It's OK to Die

 

on behalf of the entertainment industry.

 

 

Yesterday, we had this…

 

Image

 

 

R. St. Parsley 

 

Caption

 

Thick Hun comes last in dog sled race 

 

 

Today….

 

 

Image

 

 

 

 

 

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BornCelt!
3 months ago

Caption – Victorious Scotland double celebrate after hearing so many of the great unwashed are emigrating to Blackpool and hoping they ne’er come back! HH!

Mike
3 months ago

From left to right: Mr. Turgid- Mr. Dick- The Mystery Man- Ali Baba- The Joker- Mr. Turpin- Mr. Aladdin- The Beauty ( Jack is the Beast) – Shank’s Pony. Alas most were pantomime villains.
The SFA. SPFL. still without a major sponsor, but still taking and making a super salary, they still lead a game that is basically dishonest, if ever there was a way NOT to run Scottish football they they would win the prize, the only prize. The Beautiful Game is stained by their presence.

mickyjd
3 months ago

CAPTION: Scotland team run towards John Terry to celebrate

AntonDeclan
3 months ago

KOTW: Charlie Nicholas

CAPTION: Tannoy announcement – “The pubs are open again”!

alzyerpal
3 months ago

Caption; “Scotland players celebrate, while doing a visual tribute to their last 2 victories; on 4/5/1363 and 17/7/1019”

TonyDtic
3 months ago

Caption – Callum Patterson shown up as the only member of the Scotland squad that can’t count to five without having his fingers in front of his face.

Cesar
3 months ago

You didn’t wash your hands after that no.2 did you? The bog roll is stuck to your fingers says a ragin Callum Paterson.

Whitearra
3 months ago

Caption : Just off camera, Bitton is saying to Elhamed , ‘Thank f@@k that’s finally over.’

the real Anton Rogan
3 months ago

Caption: Fuck!!! Here comes Stuart Armstrong!!! Bolt!!

henkesdreadlocks
3 months ago

Caption…….

Listen guys, you’ve all tested positive.

Level 5 plant
3 months ago

I am a bit brassed off with the Israeli manager. Bitton gets injured for us after 10 minutes of an important game and is unavailable to us but is able to play a full 90 minutes plus extra time for Israel! If Bitton comes back injured as he always seems to be for us I think we should forget about him as a player that can contribute to us, his wage payer. Release him, so knobs of the week for me are Bitton and the Israeli manager.

3 months ago
Reply to  Level 5 plant

On the plus side, he did go through McBurnie, the Hun toerag.

Mike
3 months ago

Simply Nigella: Delicious, delightful, beautiful, gorgeous, cuddly, sexy, inspiring and she can Fkn cook too. If Nigella was a football team she would be Celtic. Disciplined, adventurist, attacking playing sexy football in a tight top with shorts, mmmm tasty, exceedingly Mr. Kipling type tasty.

portpower
3 months ago

Hello, carn the port.

What if one slips over in the box?

Does a keeper loose a hair?

portpower
3 months ago

Caption:
Fuck,right footers finally they left.

Moustache outage. Who took Ryan wide? Gary Mercer?

We are a waiting.

sevco do you build FC.

portpower
3 months ago

Awaiting for approval…a shade Spanish!

Language of Lurgan. Work off the ball you useless right,theres its though no.

Left are left.

desdamoaner
3 months ago

Caption – Covid? What Covid?

I wouldnt be surprised if the govt ‘request’ that next weeks game is postponed to be honest.

R.St.Parsley
3 months ago

The Louden Derrière

Oh Billy Boy the pub, the pub is calling
From Ludge to Ludge to every Hun inside
He hasn’t gone and all the Tims are laughing
And laughing Tims are what we can’t abide.

Alfredo’s back, he won’t be going to China
Or to Milan, Barca or PSG
On transfer day a bid came in from no-one
He’s in as much demand as that clown Stevie G.

Now when you come to meet me in the Louden
And I am pished, as pished I’ll surely be
Ask at the bar:’Who is the biggest arsehole?’
You can be sure they all will point at me.

And when I hear your knuckles scrape the floorboards
And see your trouser leg rolled up above the knee
Then I will know you’re thick and follow Sevco
And we can sit and greet about his transfer fee.

3 months ago
Reply to  R.St.Parsley

RPG another gem 🙂

Martybhoy59
3 months ago

Caption The huns finally publish their annual accounts

portpower
3 months ago

See,this is it.I dont want it.There though.Pick a nation.

Ill be fine a week on Tuesday.

 An error occurred while retrieving. Set never.

Nir,nir a nir nir. Lands.

portpower
3 months ago

How do you spell best on the left wing.

Get off your backside, you!

Poofter right footers are in trouble.

In the name of the…that wee bassa went past again.
Goal keep in the middle.

portpower
3 months ago

See,that`s all I ask for.

henkesdreadlocks
3 months ago

Beaton to referee the Sevco game. This cvnt should not be allowed near it. It’s time to preempt this nonsense now.

portpower
3 months ago

Particles of substance…are we dreadful?

Free socks.

Sonofcelts
3 months ago

Scotland fail to mask their excitement at winning the Corona contagious cup

3 months ago

Give it up Druncan, no-one’s interested.

PS Its “Keevins”, as you seem to be anally retentive about such things.

Cartvale88
3 months ago

Caption
Declan why are Jack, McLean and McBurnie no here?
They went to support the English!

Crap game, not worth the effort, the Bitton situation shocking, his employers are Celtic, if he is unfit on return he should be shown the door

JimboH
3 months ago

Caption
Newspaper reports claim the Scotland team on reaching the group stages will benefit from the SFA’s generous new Bonus scheme.
The race is on to grab Griff’s last tea cake .

3 months ago

Caption,The Scotland team celebrate at only having 1 Celtic player left to get rid of

Jhonmurf
3 months ago

All the players were delighted with their allocated numbers, except number 13, who for some reason felt unlucky

portpower
3 months ago

Gday Duncan,
they
re to destroy us in the first half.
Anywho,good excuse for a bender weekend…

  • Let it snow..,let it snow…let it snow.
  • “Ladies and Gentlemen, Im not gonna sugarcoat it; Ive seen road kill with faster reflexes than they sevconians.”
portpower
3 months ago

A sign held to the Sun.

“You`re weclome.”

Wearing thongs(flip-flops) and beach body ready bitches.
Who fancies a cone?

Abby Mallard Tavernier, thy deuteragonist Captain.

But more, much more than this, we have Diego.

Scarman
3 months ago

No. 5 picks the wrong moment to cough that he’s pumped no. 13’s girlfriend

portpower
3 months ago

Caption:
A race for the FIFA emulator.

Magdalena’s Chestnut Gelding
3 months ago

I can only name three of those players in that picture.

The McTominey fella only because he was pointed out to me for missing a sitter and wow he is one ugly pumpkin!

The fella Robertson from Liverpool and Callum McGregor.

The rest of them are strangers to me. I returned from work and my GF had the game on. I had further work to attend to online as the game progressed and as the commentary mentioned names like Ryan Fraser and Callum Patterson and I believe I heard a chap called Liam Cooper I frequently said “who?”.

Maybe I’m just a crusty old man who pays no attention to football outside of the team I support and some of their local rivals, but my goodness what a dreadful collection of meh.

I gave up on international football a long time ago. I have various reasons for doing so with one of them being our players turning out for an association that deliberately (proved in a court of law) set out to disadvantage us. I would explain to every single player and remind them that the supporters who pay their wages were openly cheated and publicly scorned by the association they represent. It’s a matter of principle. Then again, when the guys who run our club stand by and do nothing about the previous cheating and scandalous lies then why should the players care?

I wish them no ill, but it’s just not for me anymore.

Anyway.

Caption – Scotland Line Up

Munter, Who?, Who? Stayin Alive! Wayhayy! Woohoo! Stop being dandy showing me you’re handsome! Whoopeee! Duh!

3 months ago

CAPTION

“Who all wants to go back n play fomestic games only….”

3 months ago
Reply to  Tyrone9

DOMESTIC..

Peter devine
3 months ago

We won the coin toss !! Yoohoo, ya beauty.

pilsbury dough bhoy
3 months ago

Scotland’s Red Rover team prevail in crucial playoff

Mike
3 months ago

Like Lazarus of Bethany, Bitton raises his dead leg from his wheelchair and plays for Israel, suddenly the miracle cure wears off and once again he is incapacitated. Lenny meets him on Monday, oh to be a fly on the wall when that meeting takes place. The only miracle that took place at Hampden was Scotland scoring 5 off the penalties in the penalty shootout, turgid and cautious play reflecting the managers picks. Scottish football sits miles off the pace even with Grandfathers Nationality. Two Celtic players playing for Israel and one from Scotland reflects Peters favourite agent and Scotland’s inward thinking manager (English Leagues better)? Meanwhile the Celtic support continues with its disdain of the Scottish National team which is a reflection on Scottish footballs governing bodies and its one-sided treatment of Celtic FC. Why would they support an institution that for decades continually elevated the dead club at our clubs expense? The SPFL. has still not replaced the Ladbrokes sponsorship and with the SFA. continue with the same club myth. Celtic continue to support Scottish football, not just with National players but with our ex. Academy players, our support puts huge a huge amount of money pre and after Covid into other clubs pockets and with the monies it raises with European competitions. What do we get in return?

3 months ago
Reply to  Mike

Bitton looked perfectly fit in the game and was even able to give the Hun, McBurnie, a kicking.

Hopefully he doesn’t have to go off for the next 2 Internationals and so should be fine for the NtOF game.

Mike
3 months ago
Reply to  The Cha

Yes, Bitton did look fit during the game, however, Lenny said that ‘there was no chance of him playing because of the injury to his ankle’. Bitton has since said that he felt no pain during the game (probably because of adrenalin) and has since felt a recurrence of the ankle injury, so who knows, a lot will depend on his meeting on Monday with Lennon.
He has now pulled out of the squad for the next two International games.

Mike
3 months ago
Reply to  Mike

I too, would like to see fan ownership of Celtic, unfortunately I do not think that, I will witness that in my lifetime.

Hoop hoop hooray
3 months ago

Caption
Yes we get 5 penalties!!! Knew Ryan Jack was here for a reason

Devoy45
3 months ago

Odds are this season won’t finish. That will happen when Sevco can’t field a team and when they lead on points, however few. Our points per game is higher than theirs at the moment. We need to take al 3 points next Saturday. Past matches have shown that one up front doesn’t work in our 4-2-3-1. Here is who I would go for: Barkas
Ajer/Duffy/Jullien
Frimpong/Brown/McGregor/Taylor
Rogic
Edouard/Griffiths (Ajeti to come on for either)
I think we can win 2-0 or 2-1 but we want and need a win. Any ideas on the Sevco match welcome. We are doing well at Celtic Park despite the empty seats. Hail, hail. COYBIG

Yoker Bhoy
3 months ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Edouard is covid positive and will not feature Devoy. I’d like to see Lenny go with two strikers all the same.

3 months ago
Reply to  Yoker Bhoy

Is it definite that Edouard is out?

I thought the French quarantine was 7 days but obviously any Scottish “punishment” is unknown (to me, at least).

Is it realistic for Griffiths to start given he’s had 15mins in 7 months?

He’d be best come off the bench like against Saints but, I guess, needs must if we’re short on strikers.

Yoker Bhoy
3 months ago
Reply to  The Cha

I’m pretty sure Edouard will still have to quarantine beyond the derby date as that’s what I’ve read in a pile of different articles. French law wouldn’t come into play here. Decisions as to who starts up front will depend a lot on Ajeti’s condition. Klimala could also have a part to play – although still a bit green he puts himself about and gives defenders a lot to think about. The way I see it is that even without Eddy, we have three good guys up front who could all have an important part to play next weekend.

Devoy45
3 months ago
Reply to  Devoy45

What you say all looks good to me Duncan. By the way, welcome to the forum. Your posts have been a breath of fresh air and it’s also clear you know how to touch-type! My only worry about Laxalt is that in the past, he has invited too many yellow cards and we can’t afford a sending off. I would go with Griffiths with the belief that he might connect with big Duffy on set pieces. If Griff flags, then Klimala or Elyounoussi could come on. I expect Edouard to be fit enough to cause Sevco the usual problems they have with him. But we do need to win. We have many players who have scored against Sevco in the past: Jullien/Brown/McGregor/Griffiths/Edouard/Rogic

henkesdreadlocks
3 months ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Hahaha.

MabozzaRitchie
3 months ago

what a disgrace the Isreal match was. Watching wee jimmy krankie clapping the referendumb 11 moist in the knowledge she had knobbled crainie from the hun game. Lets hope this embarassment ends with a knockout for the darien mob. Scotland are worse at football than fighting thier masters from down south.

3 months ago
Reply to  MabozzaRitchie

We’re really gonna miss Crainie from the Huns game.

mabozzaRitchie
3 months ago
Reply to  The Cha

agreed. only a total f vuckwith who shags his own sister would think otherwise

3 months ago

celticfc .net/news/18634

Positive news on Nir Bitton, I mean negative, well you know what I mean. 🙁

3 months ago
Reply to  The Cha

Sorry to hear he has tested positive for covid wish him a speedy recovery after that he can fuck off. Played and travelled against medical advise from the club that pays him a good wage

3 months ago
Reply to  The Cha

At this rate we will play the reserve team.

portpower
3 months ago
Reply to  Jimmybee

Holy shite. The game`s ours. And I thought it was they tele-marketers.
Ring us again Gavin. I speak Spanish.

Iancelt67
3 months ago

Van Morrison is an orange bastard pass it on

portpower
3 months ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

Brown steps

Devoy45
3 months ago

So, I was outfoxed by the wily auld Charlie Duncan or Duncan Saiz?!! A sucker is born every minute. Shape shifters all. Let’s have some thoughts on Saturday’s big match. I’m puzzled as to why no Sevconians are in the news for Corona virus. It could be because they have very few internationals compared to us. Some questions. Formation? Wingbacks? I think we need Griff in there for set pieces.Will Edouard be fit or should he start on the bench? Sevco can’t handle Edouard when he’s in the mood. However, no home crowd gives us no home advantage yet we have won every match at home.

highseastim
3 months ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Isn’t it amazing how the press are all over Ferrier refusing to resign, but a precedent has been set(which is why Bojo wouldn’t commit on the matter on stv last week)!!
Then hardly a whisper about Douglas Ross not having to isolate for 14 days, yet any of his constituents would have to, more double standards!! They’re also very quiet on Hancocks late night shenanigans in the Commons bar, when the “working classes” had been sent packing from their establishment’s!!
DRoss has had approx 6 emails in the last fortnight regarding his double standards, but funnily enough, not one reply.

sfa unfit for purpose
3 months ago
Reply to  highseastim

Talking of Ferrier , she has confirmed what i suggested last week. She was told her place was safe just do the time then come back to the party.
So tell the public one thing , do the exact opposite in private.

Ferrier’s own words ”They were sorry. They were going to have to take the whip off me but I would get back in because I was co-operating and had been honest.

“Losing the whip was more of a slap in the face because of all the hard work that I have done for the party since I joined it.
“I could appreciate the party’s decision at the time. They told me they would be able to contain this situation.

Add the reading out of Salmond’s whatsapp messages and you begin to wonder how shoogly a peg is wee Jimmy on ?

And she keeps demanding ‘COMPLIANCE’ from the public.
Yet 2 of her ‘close friends’ have defied that compliance in very public ways.
Some brass neck.

sfa unfit for purpose
3 months ago
Reply to  highseastim

Speaking of Ferrier seems i was right when i suggested that sturgeon would tell her to step back and keep collecting the £80k , and come back in a wee while. As opposed to saying in public she was at fault and should resign.

Ferrier said ”They were sorry. They were going to have to take the whip off me but I would get back in because I was co-operating and had been honest.
“Losing the whip was more of a slap in the face because of all the hard work that I have done for the party since I joined it.
“I could appreciate the party’s decision at the time. They told me they would be able to contain this situation.

Is that double standards too ?

We can contain it…..lol
what they have done is made sure the BBC does not have this interview with Ferrier anywhere on its website.
Police and Media in Krankies pocket

sfa unfit for purpose
3 months ago
Reply to  highseastim

Ferrier has confirmed what i suggested last week. In public Wee Krankie was slating her , but in private Ferrier was being told to stay put . collect your 80k a year and come back when it all dies down.
Does that count as double standards ?
Ferrier said ” they were sorry but they would have to take the whip off me but i would get back in because i was honest and cooperating. They said they could manage ‘it’

Mike
3 months ago

‘I remember well, what the boss said to us after our final training session in Glasgow before we boarded our chartered Dan Air jet aircraft for Lisbon and Estoril.’
‘Look boys I think it can be us. If we play it correctly, we can win’. He said it with that dry smile of his which meant he was certain we would win! He talked to us about the method of Inter Milan and their playing strength. He was convinced that their right back Tarcisio Burgnich would be given the job of shadowing Jimmy Johnstone. This proved to be correct. He told Willie Wallace to play well up for the opening ten minutes, then change over with Stevie Chalmers who would play deep in this early spell. He wanted to confuse the opposition, unsettle them, without upsetting the Celtic team plans. This he succeeded in doing. Faither talks about big Jocks pre team talk, before flying out and making footballing history. Its appropriate to remember Ronnie Simpson on this his birth date. It is also worth remembering, of how big Jock was convinced that his Celtic team would make history in Lisbon. RIP. Ronnie and big Jock.

portpower
3 months ago

Is no a swing worth a thumping?
Excuse me, get up again.

Is ending up with that that is going around when told to stay just a way in which?

Cant last a 90 minute game at Celtic, though country though.
Neil
s nae the cvnt.

portpower
3 months ago

What if they dont make a mistake at all Dr. Maraboli?
Keep they <span style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34);">ruins</span> healthy
cause they wont share a smoke.

If it is no, keep away.

portpower
3 months ago
Reply to  portpower

What the! Above.

portpower
3 months ago

Lasting 90 minutes for a Celtic FC is excluded.

Fuck off moderators.

portpower
3 months ago

Sory moderators it`s up. Sorry.

portpower
3 months ago

The bench is full of tweezers.

Rule is you`re to play with 7 players…
At the referees discretion.

sevco soft sink FC.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/