Celtic Diary Wednesday September 9: Time To Lighten Up

They say laughter is the best medicine, and it’s all been a bit grim so it is fair to say we need cheering up.

 

They also say that the best comedy is when the lines are punching up, for example the worker making fun of his boss, the citizen poking fun at the government and so on.

 

That’s nonsense, especially when you have a whole subsection of the population that makes you feel better simply by just being there.

 

Ronnie O'Connor on Twitter: "You just know the stupidest fans on the planet  will fall for this 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂… "

 

Lately, the sports pages have become more or less the advertsing arm of the entity at Ibrox, as more or less all they have done is to try to sell Alfredo More or Less to anyone with around twenty million pounds that they want to invest in the chunky, bad tempered liability.

 

With little or no interest at that price, or even at considerably less than that price, it’s getting desperate , as October 5 , deadline day, hurtles towards us relentlessly.

 

Pretty much any club that isn’t in an immediate position to deny the story is linked with the Colombian as the loyal laptop legion do their masters bidding in an attempt to raise enough money to keep things ticking over at Ibrox for another six months.

 

It’s not happening , though, and sooner or later the player will have a public meltdown, and we can only wait with baited breath for the Spanish speaking newspaper that he turns to to detail his Ibrox hell.

 

Won’t be long now…

 

The thing is, he has been at Ibrox for so long his already fragile mentality has worsened, and it’s true what they say about one;s environment playing a major part in developing one’s personality….

 

 

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That reminds me, there will be an opportunity to watch Andrew Dallas in action for Ross County on Saturday as the game will be shown by their own tv channel….

 

 

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That way, you can monitor his performance as he sets out to make his contribution to stopping the ten , a policy not advertised by the SFA, but certainly one being implemented.

 

Shane Duffy booked early and sent off before half time, Scott Brown booked early, and Neil Lennon sent to the stand.

 

Five pound treble, three one pound doubles and three one pounds singles…..and maybe round it up to twenty quid by betting on a penalty to County.

 

You can’t lose.

 

Shane Duffy is in line to start but not finish in Dingwall, and he seems happy enough about joining his boyhood heroes…

 

 

Shane Duffy
@shaneduffy 
retweeted this , with an assortment of happy emojis to let the world know he has come home.
Celtic Football Club
@CelticFC
·

@shaneduffy has arrived at Paradise! Welcome to #CelticFC, Shane 

Image
Image
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 Well, maybe the last one is a photoshop.
 They tried to stop him, you know…Agent Goldson was despatched to try to talk him out f the move….
Image
 Duffy revealed….

“He actually told me not to come,” 

“He said ‘stay away!’ But we have a good relationship.

“I am very close with Connor from my Brighton days. It’s a difficult one.

It’s different up here but we are close so yeah…it’s an awkward one!

“He is still my friend so it’s hard to tell what will happen because the rivalry is so fierce.

“He’s a mate but listen, when I play against him, he won’t be a mate. He will be the exact same!”

 

The exact same ?

 

The exact same as the rest of those….. I didn’t catch the rest of that, where he explained exactly what goldson would be the same as, though it’s not hard to imagine.

 

 

You have to feel for Graeme McGarry, who wrote this piece, which appeared in the Herald , as either he or his editors couldn’t bring themselves to mention ten in a row without using parenthesis, as he further quoted Duffy and his love for Celtic…

 

 

“I would have come any year but this year could be a historic year. To have a chance to be a part of it was huge.

“I spoke to a few players who played here. They were saying if you go and do it, it will be the best decision you make. It was a no-brainer.

“[Ten in-a-row] would be a huge achievement.”  

 

 

 

 

News outlets these days don;t bother with news, although we do hear there is something in the interest from Aston Villa and Arsenal for Oddsone Edoaurd, but Villa don’t want to pay the asking price and Arsenal can’t afford it, Bormingham Live havent let that put them off a story….

 

 

We ‘signed’ Odsonne Edouard for Aston Villa next season with impressive results

Celtic striker Odsonne Edouard has been linked with a move to the Premier League ahead of the 2020/21 season, so what would happen if Aston Villa sign the French forward this summer?  

 

 

To find out, we used Football Manager 2020 to predict how Villa might perform next season with Edouard in the squad after the next transfer window.  

 

 

Quite the analyst…..

 

To set up this simulation, we used the Football Manager 2020 editor to arrange the transfer of Odsonne Edouard to Aston Villa ahead of the 2020/21 campaign.   

 

 

The Football Manager database currently contains data on more than 800,000 individuals and 45,000 active clubs, with data sourced from their international on the ground scouting network which numbers roughly 1,000 people. Among their ranks are some who are involved in football in professional capacities, including scouts and coaches.

In addition, each annual iteration of Football Manager has built-in algorithms which check for outliers and data discrepancies. Data accuracy is further ensured by input from contributors who are active within the professional game (players, agents etc.) who provide regular feedback.

This is what Odsonne Edouard’s player profile looks like in Football Manager 2020 before the start of the 2020/21 season.  

 

 

 

 

 

The French striker is clearly a huge talent, with very impressive attributes.

We then simulated the 2020/21 season to see what kind of impact Edouard could have at Villa Park.

Odsonne Edouard’s 2020/21 season for Villa

Edouard had an extraordinary impact at Villa in our simulated 2020/21 season, becoming the club’s main goal scoring threat and first choice number nine.

In just 38 appearances in all competitions, the French striker scored 14 goals and registered eight assists, with most of these coming in the Premier League.   

 

 

 

 

 

One wonders if they would ask for their money back if they got him and he didn’t do so well.

 

 

 

I decided to do something similar with a player that could well bolster our own front line…

 

Celtic among 24 clubs Rangers striker Alfredo Morelos has been linked with  as Porto join list - Old Firm Facts - Glasgow Live

 

 

After much whirring and grinding..look, it’s an old laptop…the computer concluded…

 

 

Fuck Off, Seriously, Fuck Off: (A Very Funny Notebook Made Just for Your  Thoughts) ((Swear Words Galore)): Amazon.co.uk: Note, Juto: 9781790297276:  Books

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, we had this….

 

Aberdeen pub

 

Puggy 67 

 

Caption: Fearful, paranoid men gather in a bar but remain distant to avoid catching an infection. The bar staff distance and wear face masks to protect themselves from the germs and stench of customers who gossip about global conspiracies to persecute them by unseen forces…The Louden Tavern 2018.  

 

 

 

Today..

 

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Dziekanowski's nightclub child
1 month ago

Caption: My paper beat your stones

Dziekanowski's nightclub child
1 month ago

Caption: What are the odds, they finally spell Roofe correctly but make a mess of Sevco!

Duncan
1 month ago

Caption
The Ayebrokes version of Rock,Paper,Scissors clean sweeps through the dressing room as Roffe-Roof-Roofe goes for titles actually won and Tavpen wins with how many they are going for…

Tim Buffy
1 month ago

Caption. “FFS Tav. Can you not even play rock, paper, scissors properly?”

Bognorbhoy
1 month ago

Caption …
Idiots version of double handed rock paper scissors…

Bognorbhoy
1 month ago
Reply to  Bognorbhoy

Apologies to the above ,who beat me to the rock paper thingy…

Bognorbhoy
1 month ago

Caption too …
Right ,ok, when you try to land one on Broony you have to be fast ,so let’s practice , left ,right ,one two ,right left one two

Charlinick
1 month ago

Tav, “ aye Celtic are going for 10IAR “
Roffe,”While we’ve won fuck all, again, hillbilly kent did punch Broony “

Duncan
1 month ago

Scotland wanted to “take advantage of the momentum” they had built up, but postponing this month’s European Championship qualifiers was the right decision, says captain Rachel Corsie. 
Shelley Kerr’s side were due to face Cyprus on 18 September and host Portugal four days later but Uefa has pushed the games back to February. BBC SPORT

UEFA proving yet again that the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.
Football is nothing more than a Circus now.

alzyerpal
1 month ago

Yesterday’s picture? The lassy’s apron thingy would suggest otherwise, but I recognise a couple of faces I’m sure. Is that the ‘Nip Inn’ in Johnstone? Anyone…?

Puggy67
1 month ago

Caption: Hey bruv what’s more ridiculous us doin’ shadow puppets in the daylight or black men celebrating the Orange Order?

Mike
1 month ago

What’s not to like about Shane Duffy? a hardnosed man from Derry, someone who wears his heart on his sleeve (Derry men are the best of men) an Irishman who wants to play for Celtic.
But we do not want to stigmatise him, using phrases like ‘warrior’ and such, because the SFA. and their placemen cherish that sort of talk. But best of luck to you Shane and all the rest of the players and manager. # Here we go, to 10 IAR.

1 month ago

Caption,Tav explains to roofe That the Celts get Ten but Sevco get nil

pilsbury dough bhoy
1 month ago

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake Tav ma man
Get Duffy booked as fast as you can

Whitearra
1 month ago

Caption : Tavernier ‘OK, imagine, no go on, just imagIne you’re lifting a cup and I’m taking your picture’.

R.St.Parsley
1 month ago

Caption:
“We backed a loser comin’ here, pal. Ower at Celtic they have decent kit, human fans an’ are gaun’ fur ten-in-a-row”.

Cartvale88
1 month ago

Caption
See they got your name right this time bro!

Ah the Alfredo story, never stops giving mirth, but Now we have the Kamara story, probably the tea lady is next up for transfer. Note that the bears are in uproar about Castore Oil and their entity ripping the crap out of their fans.

1 month ago

Now that the internationals are over thank fuck time to get serious and our season has to kick on this weekend.
A trip to Dingwall isn’t going to be easy but our standards have to come up a notch or 2. We have been poor.
Maybe its time to rest broony and give Turnbull a go.
Duffy to come straight in ?
Big decisions for Lenny this weekend back 3 or 4 ?
Let’s hope whatever he decides we put on a show and lay down a marker for the coming months.

SteveNaive
1 month ago

If Griff gets fit, or what passes for fit, does he deserve a place on the extended bench in the games ahead.
Probably not in front of Klimala or Ajeti but you would have to say, this season, yes.

1 month ago
Reply to  SteveNaive

Agreed, with 9 places he should get one but sadly, I think, Klimala will miss out if one has to be “dropped”.

Duncan
1 month ago
Reply to  SteveNaive

If Édouard is punted by Lawwell in this window it will make for interesting reading in the comments section on here regarding Griffiths.

1 month ago

Caption:your gonna need bigger fists Roofe Duffy is coming for ye.

BJF
1 month ago
Reply to  Jimmybee

Spot on Jimmybee Duffy reminds me of Big Mick. Last year Cluj surprised us, I will watch Fenenvaros progress or lack with interest. Maybe some of the teams coming in at our level should get more respect.

1 month ago
Reply to  BJF

Cluj did surprise us as to how far they got but not to the extent that it made the defeat to them any else palatable.

Similarly not matter what Ferencvaros does, it doesn’t mask the fact we should have beaten them.

Puggy67
1 month ago

Caption: Hey bruv I’m in line for a big transfer. Excellent where you off to mate? Nowhere dude – the club crest just fell off my shirt.

Puggy67
1 month ago

Caption: You win bruv! Jimmy Bell is actually speaking English!

Bannockburn Bhoy
1 month ago

Tav gets Roofied

desdamoaner
1 month ago

30M for a Brentford player…if Villa want Eddy they better have double that.

1 month ago
Reply to  desdamoaner

Actually, I though £30m was quite reasonable for the Championship POTY given the crazy money spent in England, witness relegated Bournemouth defender going for £40m.

Mike
1 month ago

Don’t cry for me the Malvinas,
the truth is i’ve never been there,
even in my wild day’s (growl),
my daft existence,
I broke my promise,
too social distance.
2metres ya bass get back, get back to where you don’t belong.

Weered
1 month ago
Reply to  Mike

Mike…. good to see you’ve still got it 🙂

Mike
1 month ago
Reply to  Weered

Justaweebitoffun. 😉

Uralius
1 month ago

I’m a huge fan of football manager having played every even year release since 2000 when it was called Championship Manager. It is very accurate…. except English players who are overrated.

Duncan
1 month ago

The only fans surprised by teams like Cluj are those who blighted by the age old issue of entitlement at Clubs like ours.
Try watching games with both eyes open.

1 month ago
Reply to  Duncan

Clueless or is it Clujless?

Duncan
1 month ago
Reply to  Duncan

Only the clueless couldn’t see it right enough.

1 month ago
Reply to  Duncan

It was a monumental failure, as we were, correctly, overwhelming favourites (based on form, record, resources etc) and should have been too good for them.

That’s not arrogance, its a simple statement of reality.

Cluj, Copenhagen & Ferencvaros is right up there (or should I say ‘down there’) with Deila’s Maribor, Malmo & Molde.

Duncan
1 month ago
Reply to  Duncan

Lincoln Red Imps

Just in case you forgot

1 month ago
Reply to  Duncan

We won 3-1 on aggregate and progressed to the next round.

Next!

Duncan
1 month ago
Reply to  The Cha

It was the single worst result in our history in Europe.
Just thought it warranted a mention.

1 month ago
Reply to  Duncan

You’re probably correct but being a 2-legged affair it didn’t stop us advancing, which was the main thing.

On the other hand Maribor, Malmo, Molde, Cluj, Copenhagen and Ferencvaros led to humiliating elimination.

Duncan
1 month ago
Reply to  The Cha

It’s is only humiliating if you consider the opposition vastly inferior.
All of these Clubs showed up and put a proper shift in.
As we did v Barca over two legs under Lenny,v Inter under Deila and v Man City under Rodgers.
That’s football bud sometimes the underdog wins the battle.
Games aren’t won on paper they are won on the field of play.
To be Champions of a Nation you mist have something about you as a side.

Duncan
1 month ago
Reply to  Duncan

As we did v Barca over two legs under Lenny.

games’

Magdalena’s Chestnut Gelding
1 month ago

Caption

Wankers

Puggy67
1 month ago

Fair play to BBC Scotland football gossip ‘Celtic eye Rangers striker’ headline. QPR. An oldy but gets me every time.

Mike
1 month ago

Is it really 35 years ago today that Big Jock passed?
RIP. big man, a big man in every sense.
The man who gave Celtic back its belief.
He lived and breathed for Celtic, his loss is still being felt
in the corridors of Scottish football.
# Love for the big Man.

Mike
1 month ago

This place is deid, there’s tumbleweed blowing through, so its time for a wee song.

“People in motion, people in motion”.
Don’t go to San Francisco,
where the fires grow,
so very high,
sunshine is a no-go,
and the flames reach up to the sky.

Like a scene from Dante’s inferno,
where the wind blows,
smoke in your eye,
green orange and yellow,
cast’s a long shadow,
for the people of San Francisco.
# Flower People, not we arra people.

1 month ago

Come on Big Jock we will hit this team for 6 Come on Big Jock for you know all the tricks.
Big Jock manager of Celtic.
HH Jock and all your Lions.

Brencelt
1 month ago

Roofe hits pub
Tavern hits the roof

Mike
1 month ago

BBC ALBA THE JOCK STEIN STORY @ 9-00PM.

1 month ago
Reply to  Mike

On iPlayer until 10th October.

bbc .co.uk/iplayer/episode/b045x3s8/jock-stein

Weered
1 month ago

Ralph. Who is stealing half decent posts. Kindly investigate please

Puggy67
1 month ago

There has to be a better platform than this it is pish.

mabozzaRitchie
1 month ago

so wee jimmy has no problems letting the st.mingin game go ahead. mmmmmmmm I smell hun

1 month ago

Unfortunately the covid is on the uptake and more and more players will test positive at some time.
Now if they have been silly and been out drinking or flying off somewhere that is different to someone who has done all they can to prevent it.
I dont know why some of our fans are angry that the st mirren game goes ahead.
I hope it does the more games we can catch up with the better.
The Bolingoli decision was harsh but the guy was a clown, aberdeen players were clowns I think their is a difference and I can’t see the justification of postponing the match. Unless of course those St Mirren players broke covid guidelines?

1 month ago
Reply to  Jimmybee

Exactly, as far as we’re aware, none of the positive players broke any rules hence no punishment of them or club is necessary.

Despite taking precautions and having limited contact with non-football people, they will still have contact with others through family etc.

Provided no rules have been broken, I wouldn’t like to see games being postponed due to these instances to avoid a large backlog.

This is harsh on teams in these situ eg Czech, PSG but is necessary as the ‘new normal’.

R.St.Parsley
1 month ago

Enjoy the diary but every time the site is ‘improved’ it gets more problematic to negotiate your way through it. Comments go missing or they’re so late to appear they’ve become irrelevant, problems voting for comments you like, no sweary words (for f**k’s sake!), and now I’m having difficulties even getting on in the first place. Please, no more technical upgrades for auld dinosaurs like me – age has robbed me of so many brain cells, I’m just above Hun levels of intelligence these days!!!

1 month ago
Reply to  R.St.Parsley

I have the problems with voting, using “read more” for long posts and (sometimes) replying when I use the Microsoft Edge browser on my Windows PC.

I also have problems with Chrome and Internet Explorer but Firefox works fine, so perhaps I need to go back to using it (I’m sure I was having a problem here with it but can’t remember the details and now looks ‘cured’).

Puggy67
1 month ago
Reply to  The Cha

Thanks for the tip will give it a try. PS how’s your Wednesday going?

portpower
1 month ago

Expression alludes.League leaders don`t be in the hand of.

Laugh the went off. 

Paranoid celt
1 month ago

Put my claymore CD on tonight and cried my eyes out. This is a parting of the ways. Please is there any other celtic fans who see what is happening here.

Paranoid celt
1 month ago
Reply to  Paranoid celt

Will to meet at my own home in West Belfast. Groups of more than 6 welcome.

portpower
1 month ago

Caption:
They seko him here, they seko him there.
Spoiling every lovely liquidation.

We are the Pimpy.

Iancelt67
1 month ago

Caption
Mike Johnston. Out!!!

portpower
1 month ago

Were on the road again...

Celts by... I really dont care! The beautiful game is all I miss.

Andrew Dallas (the hun hurdle). Vasilis saves.

Yoker Bhoy
1 month ago

Ross County look a decent enough team when coming forward and have given our defence a couple of scares. A reasonably free-flowing game so far. Around the 10th minute big Shane switched off when Stewart sneaked in behind him but he got away with it. How the big man can attack the ball in the air is awesome. Too many slack passes and some poor decision making (especially at the back) with several players guilty but starting to look a lot more composed in the latter part of the first half. As long as we can keep things tight and tidy at the back we’ll be good for full points today. Nice to have a successful poacher in the side again – could Ajeti turn out to be the new Dixie Deans? 😉
Hope we can step up a gear or two in the second half and bag more goals – plenty of impact subs on the bench.

henkesdreadlocks
1 month ago

Well done to the big Greek today, man of the match.

Yoker Bhoy
1 month ago

Solid second half and very satisfying scoreline. Magic to see Duffy score on his debut and what a goal it was! He will pose a huge threat at set pieces. Our strength in depth is likely to be a positive telling factor if we are lucky enough to get a complete season. Jullien can still be very indecisive at times and appears to have communication problems with the goalie and other defenders sometimes but he redeemed himself with a wonder stop around the 70th minute. Important for Pat Klimala’s confidence to get that goal under his belt after passing up another easy chance. Pretty decent overall and I think we can build on this. Hope the 300 showroom dummies seated in the main stand had a good day out.

TicToc
1 month ago

An excellent display, tho’ 5-0 flatters us a wee bit so credit to Ross Co for some decent play. Great goals, great saves from Vasilis and I think, at last, we’ve got a true Centre Half who can ‘lead’ and pull the defence into shape. Welcome to Paradise Shane Duffy and take a bow for a great goal and solid 1st performance in the Hoops.
HH
FC not PLC.
Lawwell ya twat if ye’re lookin’ in, send me your address and I’ll send you the £15 I didn’t pay to watch that today! Ya tosser. 🙂

portpower
1 month ago

Well done Bhoys.
Pick that out X5 from 5 different players. Whats not to like?

NB: If you pull out of a tackle, expect to get injured.
The NHS are excited to announce that after tests, they
re happy to reveal that they have found the;
Missing Teletubbies Link.

1 month ago

A long way from being at our best.
Sloppy stuff at times and we got carved open too much.
Better 2cd half but lots still for lenny to do.
Big Duffy will be my goalscorer anytime from now on.

BroxburnBhoy
1 month ago

I’ll take a five nil away win every day of the week. Solid second half and a very good result for a few reasons. Keep on rolling with lots of goals for and clean sheets

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