Celtic Diary Tuesday September 8: Deflector Shields On Full

Scotland dutifully fulfilled their obligations last night and beat Czechia …or as many plague free Czechs as could be summoned at short notice…and the SFA blew a sigh of relief that it’s all in the past now.

I’ve genuinely got no idea what the score was because I couldn’t care less.


What does concern me is that a plane load of people are returning home today with no idea whether or not they are bringing back more than a couple of t shirts and an I Love Olomounoc mug.


Yesterday, Celtic Quick News, presumably back in favour as the main voice on social media of Peter Lawwell, roundly condemned the decision to play the game, just a little more passionately than Lawwell, but taking the same line….


There is every chance you do not know if tonight’s Czech Republic – Scotland game is competitive or a friendly (it’s Nations League, so somewhere in-between), but, like me, you will be concerned that during European qualification, several Celtic players will take the field against the remaining Czechs who have not tested positive for Covid.

This disease has an incubation period of up to 14 days.  The Czechs have lost their first team due to infection and we now roll the dice hoping there has been no cross-contamination around Czech football circles in recent days.

Nothing about this is right.  The Nations League should have been one of the many things we have sacrificed due to the pandemic.  It required international travel and sporting bubbles to be mix.  What happened to the Czechs following their win over Slovakia on Friday will have consequences for both nations and for clubs across the continent.  I know the SFA are far from competent at most things, but the issue here lies at Uefa.   



What struck me was the deflection of blame to UEFA, who also got it in the neck from Keith Jackson of the Record, presumably arguing with Stephen McGowan of the Mail over who gets to sit closest to Lawwell at dinner time…


To be fair to Maxwell and the Blazerati, the SFA have their own house very much in order where coronavirus protocols are concerned thanks in no small part to the diligence and professionalism of Dr John MacLean. 

So even though they were being effectively forced by UEFA to enter one of Europe’s hot-spots, there was complete confidence – or as close as there can be in these unprecedented times – that MacLean’s strict measures would keep Clarke and his players safe inside their own bio-secure bubble. 

That’s precisely why they were granted government permission to make this trip without having to go into self quarantine on their return to Glasgow.

But what Scotland’s doc could have no control over, however, was the outbreak inside the Czech Republic’s own camp which has created one almighty cluster-fuddle around tonight’s showdown in Olomouc. 

That UEFA waded in with such force on Saturday morning, when the Czech FA was threatened with all manner of punitive sanctions – including an enormous cash fine – if they failed to fulfil the fixture, shows what this is really all about.

Even in the middle of a global pandemic, it’s all about the pounds and the pence as far as European football’s greed-is-good governing body is concerned.

Since this health crisis began UEFA has been paralysed by a terrible fear. Not for the danger to public health or even that of players across the continent. But for the catastrophic impact it might have on its bulging Swiss bank account should TV companies around the world start trying to claw their money back.

That’s why they went to such extraordinary lengths to complete last season’s Champions League and Europa League campaigns behind closed doors when the rest of us were still locked in the house.  



Rod Petrie and Ian Maxwell of the SFA didn’t go to Czechia.


They did , however, as part of their SFA duties, insist that players, management and staff did travel, as the show must go on.


No one, not in football, not in industry and not in their private lives, should ever make anyone do anything that they are not prepared to do themselves , especially if it involves exposure to a highly transmissible virus that has killed hundreds of thousands of people across the world.  


Whilst Lawwell has commendably expressed concern and demanded assurances, one wonders what Bob Kelly would have done.


Actually, one doesn’t have to wonder…he’d have simply told them that no one from Celtic would be a part of this clusterfuck, if, indeed, clusterfuck was a word back then.



The SFA are being aided and abetted again by the media and are shifting the blame to UEFA for this mess, and any possible consequences.


Is that because of criticism from Lawwell, possibly via social media, and is he finally starting to get tired of their bullshit ?




By the way, one or two replies to the diary yesterday implied that the Coronavirus is a hoax, and we are all wearing masks because it’s all a big conspiracy.


If I see them before they are on the site, they will be deleted.


If I have time later, they will be deleted.


I’m not going to take the chance that someone out there will read it and think that it is in any way representative of what is really going on.


There is a plague out there that is killing people. And anyone who thinks otherwise should volunteer to change the bed linen in a covid ward, because they are clearly safe and everybody in there is just lollygagging to avoid doing a hard days work down the pit.


Yes, other things kill people as well, such as cancer, and guess what…we tend to carcinogens to decrease our own chances of developing cancer, yet some fucking idiots out there somehow can;t make the leap to the simple fact that wearing a mask, washing your hands and keeping a few feet apart reduces the risk of contracting covid, which is , unlike cancer or heart disease or any other major health problem, highly contagious and completely indiscriminate.


And until we do, it won’t go away.


Until we do, and the virus is back under control, with proper grown ups making proper decisions, then we won’t have a normal life again, and as fed up as we all are of wearing a mask, or washing our hands, as boring as it seems to be to keep reading about the disease, we cannot move on until then.


Indeed, we’ll be moving backwards, back to no football, no travelling, no fucking nothing, in fact, and please, forgive me if I cast doubt upon this get the economy moving shite as well, because as any fool knows the market simply adapts to demand, as we have seen, and the real threat to the economy doesn’t start until January when we won’t be able to buy the things we don’t make, and won’t be able to sell the things we do….


Fortunately, that won’t really matter because none of us will have any money anyway.


So, I’m sorry if it all seems a little tedious, but thats how it is.


And if you still feel the way you do after reading that, then go and buy a newspaper instead.

They need the readers.



The world has changed, and pretending it hasn’t won;t make it change back.



Yesterday, we had this….





Devoy 45 


Caption: “I’m confused by this SPFA map. It only has ‘arse’ and ‘hole in the ground’ on it yet it seems they can’t tell one from the other!  





Aberdeen pub

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1 month ago

Caption …
Enid Blytons new book …

Five go lager scooping…

1 month ago

Go on yersel Ralph. We all probably know someone whose died/been hospitalised by the ‘conspiracy’. Denying Fuckwits! Stay safe.

John McDermott
1 month ago

Take that hat aff an ye can get a table…. Ye get a table ye get a pint! Ye get a pint and ye can stop her hands fae shaking. A canny take it aff hen a got one a they Ryan Kent hair doose and noo hes gone Tae Leeds for a billion pounds …. Right oot you’ve had enough Tae drink already! Back Tae the daily right laugh wi ye Keith

1 month ago

The SFA are being aided and abetted again by the media and are shifting the blame to UEFA for this mess, and any possible consequences.

It is UEFA’s decision on insisting that these pointless games in a pointless competition continue despite the inherent risks involved that is the problem Ralph.
No Competition = No need to travel or mix with Nations who clearly have not got their own sh it together when it comes to dealing with it properly.
I find the whole gist of this piece very confusing if I am being honest because on one hand you correctly highlight the stupidity of those who are not taking this seriously whilst simultaneously defending those who are putting players and Club staff at risk but also everyone else who may come into contact with them?
Seriously is International Football that important?
I would argue not and I suspect those paying their massive salaries would as well.
It serves no purpose in Football other than to generate money for those who control the purse of the Association’s involved.
So therefore as is usual with things as serious as this it comes down to priorities.
Money or Health?
It would appear from reading this that the personal axe you have to grind against Lawwell regarding other matters is getting in the way of the common sense shown highlighting the very real dangers of taking this Pandemic so lightly.

UEFA have a rap sheet as long as a touch line when it comes to the hypocrisy of decision making in Football.
As is always the case this comes down to greed and money.

1 month ago

Caption: Can I have my sausage under the grill for at least 30 mins?

1 month ago

Hullo hen, where’s the Hoose party the night?

The whole Scottish thing, the moment the SFA proles were not going Celtic should have pulled their players.
We should not accommodate those Huns in any way

1 month ago

Caption : Barmaid to auld skipcap “Aw George, away yer bed”

1 month ago

Caption – So Father Jack enjoys a day out from the parochial house. ‘Oh feck it, drink, drink! Gobshite! HH!

1 month ago

Its your round Ralph Malph, och its too late I see you’ve already got your ain in. Selfish tit.

pilsbury dough bhoy
1 month ago

Billy no mates Tuesday is a rip roaring success

1 month ago

Caption: Fearful, paranoid men gather in a bar but remain distant to avoid catching an infection. The bar staff distance and wear face masks to protect themselves from the germs and stench of customers who gossip about global conspiracies to persecute them by unseen forces…The Louden Tavern 2018.

1 month ago

Caption: New covid measures in place for all staff. Bungee leads connected to the back of your trousers straight back to the till.

1 month ago

my boss is a tight a*se and wond get us face masks so we need to wear our own glasses to protect our eyes but I’ve only got sunglasses and canny see a fecking thing inside with them over my eyes

1 month ago
1 month ago
Reply to  Timmy

well done mate, another voice of sanity among the bleaing muzzled morons.

Surprised Ralph Goebbels hasn’t censored you right enough!

1 month ago

Its hard to tell how good Barkas is at the moment but he hasn’t inspired confidence on what i have seen thus far.
If our manager had a choice between Marshall and Barkas then he has made the wrong one.
Marshall looked assured and confident last night.

1 month ago

Caption – Czech 3rd team enjoy a socially distanced post match pint after narrow loss to Scotlands finest.

Owen Mullions
1 month ago

Caption: It’s Happy Hour at the Louden! A free vodka and bitter, bitter orange with every pint.

Frank McGaaaarvey
1 month ago

Well said. These covidiots are seriously beginning to do my nut in right now. Hmmmm, should I pay heed to what Devi Sridhar says or will I listen to qualified pandemic experts such as Ian Brown or Denise Welch?

sfa unfit for purpose
1 month ago

Well said Ralph.
Its money before lives , our politicians are all clowns.

1 month ago

Lenny tells Griff that’s not what he meant by extra sessions.
He and Rogic have been training at Lennoxtown all week.

1 month ago
Reply to  SteveNaive

Ralph, good column and of course, Devoy was a worthy caption winner!
I don’t think this season will finish either, with all the Covid increase. We need to make sure we have a big enough squad in case we have to quarantine (fortnight) some of our key (international) players. We can now run a decent 3-5-2:
For Brown, sometimes, we can sub Ntcham/Soro/Turnbull
Use Klimala when possible. use Ajer in the midfield too, as needed.
We can get Johnston and Elyounoussi on the left wing or up front with Edouard. If season ends early, I hope there are rules already in place! Minimum, all teams should have played each other home and away=22 games. Any predictions for Slippy/Sevco? Will their defence finally buckle? They won’t score as many goals as us and I can see them dropping most of their points in 0-0 draws. We need to get ruthess again and no more 4-2-3-1. I’m pleased to have Rogic with us. A game winner.

Steve McGlynn
1 month ago

Anyone else think we should just bin this season? 10 can wait. Cases are rising and will get worse as the weather does. Football is NOT a matter of life or death but it could be.

1 month ago
Reply to  Steve McGlynn

Steve McGlynn, I too think this season should be binned. All it will take is for a whole team to be quarantined for a fortnight and this could happen to a number of teams anytime soon.. If it keeps happening, then the season can’t go on Most scientists think the wutumn/winter will take the lid off the pandemic again.

1 month ago

Fur twa pints of pure undiluted pish Mr Levein that’ll be a tenner Ken

Man in Denial
1 month ago


waitress checks paper slip

Well done Bob you have indeed won today’s Alfredo- Bingo- free- pint, with F for Fiorentina

1 month ago

Caption “Pint, Tommy?”. “No, I’ll stick on my own”

RIP Tommy.

1 month ago
Reply to  The Cha

£40 grand a year!

Phil&Nige CSC

1 month ago

Good Diary Ralph. Ish. If the ‘technology’ had allowed me, I may have ‘voted’ it up (or down 🙂 )
I may have also voted others (+ or -), but few make their comments a voting issue; no point!
Fred reckons the voting system is pointless anyway; I tend to agree.
Fred’s a potentially REAL asset to eTims and he’s welcome to occupy ‘my space’.(as long as he moves LEFT at every turn)
It’s ALL about The Celtic, the rest is poker/poking or banter
FC not PLC and get Lawwell and his tory cohorts tae fuck, PRONTO!

1 month ago
Reply to  TicToc

Tic Toc … ain’t technology great when it works as it should 🙂

1 month ago
Reply to  Weered

Aye Weered, it sure is but my goodness you have to spend a lot of time learning it, and even more time trying to fix it. (Quality Control is done by us mugs finding and reporting errors.) Shit in shit out springs to mind. Anyway I hope you and yours are well and stay that way….I fear Covid is about to spike and possibly be worse than its 1st attack. As long as that fukkin clown Bojo (Coco) is ‘in charge’ and Cummings has got his ear, I fear the worst in every way.
I regret my hugely downbeat words but I’ve had more shit than enough over the last few weeks. Anyway, Come on you Reds! 🙂

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/