Nothing Ever Happens – A Tribute Song

A new take on a classic Del Amitri song…

 

“Nothing Ever Happens” by Desimond

Hungarians striker runs through, to easily score
As Celtic new keeper lies beaten upon the wet floor
John Kennedy stares into space
While Lennys sad face turns to stone
As El Hamed toe pokes the ball back to the ref
While Broony thinks “I’ve seen this show!”

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow

Peter and Neil, please you know, that we deserve so much more
Bargain bin strikers, unfit, with no chance to score
By 10 o’clock, Euro dreams dead
And every fans crying “Fuck that!”
As reporters lap up, Lennys interview huff
Like the doped white mice in the college lab

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the Celtic song
And we all shrug along like before

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow

Agents call players to say “I’ll Get you out of there!”
From Heroes to Zeroes, as fans claim that they “wouldn’t care”
Disco Lights flash, in a stadium so vast
Crying out a sad, S – O – S
And the fans gather close, cold and morose
Another time of Celtic distress

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the Celtic song
And we all shrug along like before

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow

Clean Tactics boards, stand with no plans, that players can read
While the squad mope around and complain about
All the Lennoxtown chips soaked in grease
The Board report another sweet deal, tell us, we’ve never had it so good
While Centre Halves wait to conclude a pishy loan deal
Having to haggle, like they never should

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the Celtic song
And we all shrug along like before

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
They’ll get a Man City loan at Transfer windows close
And we’ll all shrug along like before

And we’ll all be moaning tonight and moaning tomorrow

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Drew67
2 months ago

Couldnt and wouldnt have thought of that pish in my depressed state at moment

Duncan
2 months ago

A lost match kicks in like a thunderbolt
Through the halo of the perfect Tim
His angry voice mingles with the clueless ones
Like weans who just dropped their cones
Eventually their world will shrink within four walls
Of moaning wives and weans in stereo
Oh moan away Timmy Blues
Before yer green hun traits eat you up
and devour you

A dropped point is the cue
For the unacceptable things that you do
Behind a monitor screen glaekit look on his face
Talkin mince cause he’s on the glue
Oh moan away Timmy Blues
Before those green hun traits keep you up
and on the Bru
Fans greet in the same old places
Offering nothing new
A post full of wee blank spaces
Cause he hasn’t a clue
Postmatch howl at the moon
They they cry,like incensed huns in Blue
Trapped in the darkness of a mental tomb
Timmy Blues Timmy Blues
Oh moan away greet and frown
Moan away yeah,
Timmy Blues
Before the green hun traits
turn around and swallow you

portpower
2 months ago

‘Release the Duffy’
Finally, a sightly bassa like me.The 7 year cycle is over.

Weclome to Celtic Shane.

Duncan
2 months ago

Brilliant Album a must for anyone too young to remember it.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/