Celtic Diary Friday May 15: Trophy Day ?

Well, they won’t present the trophy today, it’s probably still at Celtic Park, and the safest thing to do would be to get Scott Brown and Neil Lennon to stand next to it for a couple of photographs for now, but at a meeting this afternoon on their computers, the SPFL will call an end to season 2019-20, and it will be agreed that Celtic will deservedly be crowned champions.

 

groucho marx gifs | WiffleGif

 

 

As the Westminster government now allows for the participation of sport with one person from outside your household, the Lennon CSC will pair off and compete in the Staffordshire Binge Drinking Championship, a new sport created by, er, the Lennon CSC.

 

It is hoped that other CSCs will announce their own tournaments, and we could form a sort of breakaway league, and even seek sponsorship from breweries and other outlets as early start up costs could be quite high, but the new sport does have the advantage that if it is forced to be played behind closed doors, it won’t affect attendances.

 

But, there you have it.

 

For the second time in my lifetime, Celtic have won nine successive titles.

And they did it by playing football, pure football.

Well, some of the time.

 

For those of you that will inevitably be faced by the hordes that claim we didn;t deserve it, and it wasnt a proper league season, remind them that at this point we could…and should… have been celebrating a fourth consecutive treble, and that isn;t going to happen now, which is actually quite heartbreaking.

 

But in these strange times, we must take what we can.

 

Which is exactly what the new club over at ibrox have been doing as the bills drop through the letterbox at a rate far exceeding the money to pay them.

 

We discussed the somewhat bizarre episode of their support having the money taken out of their accounts to pay for season books, which were subsequently cancelled with no refunds, hinting at an unexpected bill that had to be paid, or perhaps at a cash reserve that needed to be there to apply for a government loan, and that saga has deepened with the revelation that the company -or club-behind that particular fiasco is a new one, although the faces behind it are sort of recognisable..

 

9IAR – UEFA ENDORSED
@HTrebles
Rumour emerging regards the ticket fiasco at Ibrox … Seems the company in charge of “processing” the fees and dealing with the refunds is a very young company with only one employee … Sure everything is dandy.  
Image
Image
 I’ve no idea what a micro comapny is, so I turned to our resident business expert and asked for an explanation.
I’m none the wiser, but you’ll probably understand.
It’s a new company but it doesn’t need to declare employees whilst it files micro accounts.
You have an obligation when you meet criteria but the threshold of the criteria and the release of the information won’t be seen until  they file the next set of accounts which is September 2020
 Your company will be a micro-entity if it has any 2 of the following:
a turnover of £632,000 or less.
£316,000 or less on its balance sheet.
10 employees or less.

 

 

Whatever else we may say about that lot , they sure know how to fiddle figures within the law.

 

 

So it’s all above board then ?

 

Perhaps with a certain degree of moral flexibility, but legally, it’s fine.

 

For an in depth look at some of their, er, arrangements, read this, from regular reader and contributor, CarlJungleBhoy…

 

 

Crooked house

 

But tell that to the hordes….there’s some angry bears out there, going Gerrrr …thats why they called the Gers , you know, at least according to one of our chaps in the Lennon CSC. Incidentally, another chap in the CSC thought that Hoopy the huddle hound was actually called Lenny the Lisbon Lion, whilst another mistook Derek Roirdan for Evander Sno.

 

We’ll win the world binge drinking championships with a few rounds to spare…..

 

Anyway, back to the angry bears….

 

Image

 

 

The short answer is they probably won’t, at least not yet, and whats more, the club/company are going to ask for even more of their hard earned…..

 

 

WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER. FAN, PLAYER AND CLUB.

MyGers pays homage to the collective unity between this trilogy. We drive each other forward and together we are stronger.

MyGers allows fans to show their loyalty to Rangers, like never before.

Now, fans can be closer to our beloved club and access benefits such as a welcome gift, ticketing priority, access to Club discounts and access to exclusive competitions and experiences.

With MyGers we can be Always Rangers, Always Rewarded.

More information on the options and benefits available with MyGers can be found below.  

 

No matter whether you roar the team on from the stands at Ibrox or from the other side of the world, there is a MyGers option for you.

It’s well-known that the Rangers family is global which is why we have created a MyGers Membership for our international fans and our fans in the United Kingdom.

Experiences, competitions, discounts and ticketing priority is available to everyone who joins MyGers so no matter where you are in the world, you can feel part of the blue sea of Ibrox.  

 

 

We are in this together. Fan, Player and Club.

Our Membership scheme pays homage to the collective unity between this trilogy. We drive each other forward and together we are stronger.

Now, fans can be closer to our beloved club, more than ever before and access benefits such as a welcome gift, ticketing priority, access to Club discounts and access to exclusive competitions and experiences.

With MyGers we can be Always Rangers, Always Rewarded.

Please note, if you are purchasing your Season Ticket by Credit Finance, you will need to purchase your membership after purchasing your Season Ticket. You will still get your discount on your Membership.

For more information and to access our FAQ document, please click HERE.  

 

 

Thats four pages worth, and still no mention of cost…or what you actually get for your money.

 

It’s actually fifty quid for adults and twenty five for under 16s.

 

Did the old Celtic board not try something similar back in the days before they finally revealed they’d forgotten where all the money was ?

 

I vaguely remember something involving a man dressed as a parrot.

 

 

One wonders of the SFA have asked for their accounts, prior to an application for a European licence….whether they will go through on the nod largely depends on how annoyed with the club/company the SFA are, having seen the Ibrox club fail to shift the balance of power in the game away from the SPFL.

 

Especially if the other clubs decide they are no longer afraid of losing the mythical blue pound….

 

 

Meanwhile, there are all sorts of rumours going around about new sponsorship…especially as Castore haven’t confirmed the kit deal yet….

 

 

Image

 

 

Elsewhere, and the Covid 19 crisis continues unabated…people can now go back to work and all sorts of other things.

 

The house breaking industry got back on the rails much quicker than the house building sector…

 

PAST THE DEFENCE 

Dele Alli’s intruders ‘got past security guard’ at £2m mansion before robbing Tottenham star’s watch and jewellery

 

Apparently, he didn’t know how to tackle them.

 

The crisis has had a terrible, as yet largely unreported effect on families…

 

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scientific and medical advancement….

 

Image

 

and peoples psychological conditions, with mental health a real concern…

 

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On Wednesday, we had this…

 

Image

 

Polaris
Caption-

Steven Gerrard displays extraordinary upper body strength after finally running out of players.  

 

Today…

 

Image

 

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8 months ago

Bottle Plant!
Plant Bottle!

Thank you very much!

Iancelt67
8 months ago

Been listening to some podcasts lately. Interesting one on ones with ex players. Le tissier, John Hughes, Barry Ferguson. These guys either have no character (Ferguson, Le Tissier) or are fucking loonies(Hughes). Baz has got stating the obvious wita monotone of a voice reminiscent of sufferers of heavy depression , down to a tee. Le Tissier well for such a brilliant player he wouldn’t be my choice of celebrities to spend the night with, and Hughes who is an over excited self indulgent twat who sounds perpetually drunk.

Puggy67
8 months ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

Have to disagree. Yogi’s mangling of pronunciation is an aural delicacy but yes he’s bonkers.

dingbat
8 months ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

“Been listening to some podcasts lately. Interesting one on ones with ex players. Le tissier, John Hughes, Barry Ferguson.”

That’s plenty.

Paddybhoy67
8 months ago

Can you imagine if the buns were 1pt clear at the top of the league and Corona virus had struck in Dec that they’d want the season voided?

Rob O'Keeffe
8 months ago

Congratulations to Peter regarding his statement about The Famine….you have certainly behaved in a totally professional manner,together with all at Celtic throughout,unlike certain other clubs who have behaved in a manner which is utterly unsurprising…..

8 months ago

Caption: looks like a remake of the Dirty Dozen

8 months ago

Caption: Gazza wuz here.

henkesdreadlocks
8 months ago

Caption…..

In a remarkable injury free period, Derk Boerrigter finally shows he’s got a bit of bottle after all.

Mike
8 months ago
Mike
8 months ago
Reply to  Mike

Kleenex and Jelly and ice cream, a fabulous mix. ^ ^ RIP Tommy.

Mike
8 months ago

The *Rangers* were in sponsorship discussions with a Swiss company, the company pulled out after their investigations found out that they had no dignity.
“Dignitas”.

Remembering Twist and Turns- Tommy Burns, his documentary BBC-Alba, is awaiting moderation.

Bognorbhoy
8 months ago

Caption
Beer gardening…

Bognorbhoy
8 months ago

Caption too

My mate squirrel does what squirrels do ,buries things for future shortages

badgerbhoy74
8 months ago

Caption: Lennon CSC sewing the seeds for Drinking Championship success.

TonyDtic
8 months ago

I can’t remember the 1990’s scheme but using the same marketing with a man dressed as a parrot could work for the tainted brand if they use a Norwegian blue.

Puggy67
8 months ago
Reply to  TonyDtic

Would its total lack of movement be due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged statement?

Michael664
8 months ago
Reply to  TonyDtic

Can’t wait for autumn to harvest this crop….

Iancelt67
8 months ago

Archaeologists find oldcos last celebratory beers circa 2010. BBC scoop set to win award on the four hour documentary planned

Cartvale88
8 months ago

Caption
Fan survives death of the Corona beer

Ah the Rankers their true bitterness has shown, the journos have dragged up every bit of null and void, people such as Gavin Rae and Charlie Adams, stupid guys like Charley Nick and Commons to sing their battle song.
The bias in the media where the Billy Boys Club invites DUP haters to discuss Scottish football, where no one asks the important questions, discussion progs that are so one sided, but still the zombies do not realise that there time is up

Frank McGaaaarvey
8 months ago

“Aye, ye’re laughin noo but wait til these grow into trees with an endless supply of beer an you’re no gettin any”.

Monti
8 months ago

Caption: ” I can confirm lockdown is not getting to me, i’m fine “

Cortes
8 months ago

2020-2021 Squad Photo of Newcastle Beer Sheba. Huawei the lads!

Jinkylarrson
8 months ago

Do Not Resuscitate F.C. on the ropes again. Please let them die this time.

TAMBHOY
8 months ago

Stevie g burying his team of bottler HHH 9

Puggy67
8 months ago

Caption: Thin out after 4 weeks and water regularly during dry spells,your kegs will be ready for harvesting in late August.

Evbhoy67
8 months ago

Caption, Dave King shows off his new wine cellar.

charlie
8 months ago

beer sponsers ye say ralph how dae ye join the lennon csc

Hugh6
8 months ago

Caption : ……. and into hops thou shall return.

8 months ago

Ralph you are right about the parrot. It was the jungle last stand and the winner of the fancy dress competition was dressed as a parrot. We all got a certificate for being there.
This was adopted by Michael Kelly as a club mascot (I know I Know) Thank you Fergus for getting rid of them all.
Now it’s the huns that are sick as parrots.

Pensionerbhoy
8 months ago

caption:

Ok, so your burying the blue bottles but where are the 10 green bottles?
Off to see Celtic lift League Trophy number 9 for the second time.

H H

Puggy67
8 months ago

Caption: Furloughed farrower’s Fustenburg floriculture. Try saying that after 6 Footsies.

Puggy67
8 months ago

Caption: Leaked Adidas concept top has Celtic fans hallucinating.

Pensionerbhoy
8 months ago

Ralph,

Can I suggest we have a minutes clapping ( nearly said clap!!) for sevco fans on Monday. It is so tempting to simply mock and disparage them. However, our role as committed citizens, is to care for the less fortunate in our society in all circumstances. Some sections of the community are exceptionally vulnerable because they are unable to look after themselves at all and are very likely to continually self-harm than to seek assistance and advice. I am aware that these people may have already caused immense damage to their communities but one has to allow for extremely extenuating circumstances. Let us remember these people are of a species that may not have fully exited the fauna stage of evolution. It seems to me in this instance that, biologically speaking, one must either recognise the intellectual status of bears or decry Bears as sub human. I am not prepared to judge either way. However, the older I get and the more I hear from Ibroxonians, I am tempted to request a full investigation by anthropologists and a complete dossier of their findings in order to determine once and for all if the species I refer to as Ibroxonians are even of this world. I do believe that somehow the world will be a better place once they know themselves they are not the people but a unique species attempting to resurrect a lifestyle, completely annihilated several years ago with absolutely no hope of return, that has become alien to everyone else. I await the findings and the inevitable backlash that is in the genes of this species. So, please give them space. They really do not know what they do and even less what they say.

H H

Funkyy
8 months ago
Reply to  Pensionerbhoy

They are the pupil….and we are the master!!
HH 9 in a row and 10 to follow.

Cortes
8 months ago

Where there’s muck, there’s Bass.

TicToc
8 months ago

Huvny goat past ra 2nd para (neether did CS hic) Er, em, hic…..is the Lennon CSC lookin’ for more, er, hic, mmm, members? Jush ashkin’ furrapal ‘n’ ‘at. Ready to djoin immi… imma…. right noo. Hic.
Awrat bingein’s too goodtae miss, hic. Of coursh ah’ll mibbaes need shome help affae yoos pros innat, eh, hic?
HH (HicHic)

Devoy45
8 months ago
Reply to  TicToc

Logic. With apologies to The Jesuits! If play resumes (closed doors) each team will have 18 players, 2 physios, 4 coaching staff=48 persons. 4 match officials which means 52 people minimum will be in close proxiity for nearly two hours. Each of these must be Corona tested after each match and throughout the next week? Only one positive test means all 52 persons must go into quarantine for a fortnight! Same for all the league matches. How long would this take to complete 8 fixtures? Minimum 8 fixtures would take 4 months to complete! Minimum but possibly as much as a year. Any match spreading the disease would (and should) put a halt to the season. I predict the results in England will be disastrous, from the get-go! Impossible! Football, if played properly, is a close contact sport by its nature. We have more chance of telling five year olds in primary one to keep a safe distance than telling the average footballer not to spit on the pitch!

Puggy67
8 months ago
Reply to  Devoy45

From memory in EPL 250 people to host a game, 3 million in testing fees to end the season.

Puggy67
8 months ago
Reply to  Puggy67

3 million per club!

8 months ago
Reply to  Devoy45

It’s closer to 100 people that are going to be pitchside, according to plans in Germany etc.

I don’t think there’s a need for quarantine if a player tests positive, as that happens when there’s no testing and ensures any others can’t pass it on.

Players will only need to be taking out, if they personally test positive and this won’t affect any others, if they test negative.

If any players test positive after the initial testing then this is a failure of the whole process, which should ensure that players are “shielded” from infection for the duration.

mattybhoy
8 months ago

leaving a legacy for his kids celtic supporter prepares for future title celebrations

TicToc
8 months ago

Caption: “Hopefully ah’ll reap whit a sow, ten-fold and use it for a ‘deposit’ tae join the Lennon CSC”.

8 months ago

Caption….
Carlsberg have only gone and
Done Gardening.

Frank McGaaaarvey
8 months ago

Ae fond farewell then to BT Sports and their unparalleled coverage of the quagmire that is Scottish fitbaw. They genuinely will be missed. Wonder who will have the baws to employ big Sutty now? Roll on next season (whenever that will be) when we have Boydy, Commons and Bazza to look forward to. Woo, and indeed, hoo.

Puggy67
8 months ago

Billy-Lorenzo Jr: Maw’s special pal whit’s a trilogy?
Stigsy: Eh it’s like The Lord O’ The Rings
Billy-Lorenzo Jr: Whit! It canny be Ranjurs are sellin’ wan oan the website…
Stigsy: Aw right, dae ye want wan?
Billy-Alfie Jr: Aye it’s 25 quid.
Stigsy: Aw right. Do you no want a new to you PlayStation instead?
Billy-Lorenzo Jr: Naw that last wan still had the wean’s name oan it. If ah don’t get it I’ll tell ma maw about the porn on ma I-pad.
Stigsy: Aye ok then ya wee shite
Billy-Lorenzo Jr: OK gee us yer credit card
Stigsy: Aye that’ll be right I’ll get wan fae the shop in toon….aw naw it’s shut nae luck wee man.

Una
8 months ago

Caption

Derk Borerigter shows of his patient of the month awards from his time at Celtic

Una
8 months ago

Caption

Spade Town Beer

Monti
8 months ago
Reply to  Una

Caption: Foundations are laid at Pizza Express, Woking.

TimBucktooth
8 months ago

Caption: Alfredo enjoys another night in with a case of corona and his favourite hoe

Devoy45
8 months ago
Reply to  TimBucktooth

Let’s look at the record!
Goals: Celtic 89 Sevco 64
Goal difference: Celtic 70 Sevco 45!
The Huns lost twice as often as we did, drew twice as often as we did.
Wins: we won 5 more matches.
Our average points per game=2.67
Huns average points per game=2.31
At this rate our final 8 matches would give us a total of 101 points. The Huns have 9 games left so they would finish with 88 points! We thus win the league by….13 points. I also don’t believe the Huns would even win their game in hand with St. Johnstone at Ibrox. I would have bet on a draw. Anyway, Celtic win the league by 13 points, on the pitch due to tainted performances by Stevie and his over-hyped crew.Bring on ten in a row.
Newco? Try and stop us—on the pitch, like we did in 1998. Numbers don’t lie.
“Twas early early in the Spring,
the birds did whistle and sweetly sing, so sweet they sang from tree to tree
and the song they sang was ‘Auld Ireland free’…! Peace and good health. Stay safe.

TicToc
8 months ago

Meant to say earlier what another BRILLIANT Diary that was, Ralph. Some amount of research which, as usual, shows the Diary in the brightest of lights. Take a bow, Pal.
On another note, if I was a Catholic I’d begin by saying “Bless me father……” but I’m not and so I wont. Point is, had a look on Ibrox Noise (how apt can a name be?) and came across this gem of Deludamol overdose, enjoy and just marvel at how effective that drug is:

https://twitter.com/i/status/1261341766243856384

TicToc
8 months ago
Reply to  TicToc

Sorry, that link is to a great wee ‘craic’ between Big Chris Sutton and Broonie, our 9-I-A-R Captain (5 mins).
Here’s Deludamol OD. HH
https://www.ibroxnoise.co.uk/2020/05/five-men-60m-at-ibrox-possible.html?m=1

Funkyy
8 months ago

“Misers” would be more apt.

portpower
8 months ago

Caption:
David Graham hoes his daytime job.

This World was never meant for one as youse.
sevco silver tongue FC.

The do run run.I feel like a League Title.
Monday Magic…9IAR.

portpower
8 months ago
8 months ago

CAPTION
Methadone Mick solves the puzzle to the Ayebrokes floating pitch.

portpower
8 months ago

Aussies Green & White distancing…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIOW-mFPpR8

portpower
8 months ago

Theres been a renege sevconians.
The next Moussa
s coming back.

We are the Projection.
(The Romani are wantin` a word).

portpower
8 months ago

Honky Tonk Hoopy.

portpower
8 months ago

What munchies tickles you?
Zig Zag twisties rule OK.

Guantanamera, guajira guantanamera.

portpower
8 months ago

Is one`s enthusiasm an expense to kleptocracy?
No matter!

portpower
8 months ago

Caption:
sevco FC engender:
“Your Company is only as good as your hireling.”

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/