Celtic Diary Thursday April 23: Adding Some Flavouring

Sweden and Germany look set to resume playing football either next month or the month after. The news has been greeted with horror down Govan way as they have checked the detail and if the season is restarted in Scotland they won;t have anything to wear.

Signed in April 2018, their three year deal with Hummel will run out before any games are played, but as it will be summer they’ll probably be allowed to wear their vests.


We were going to get someone from Ibrox to comment, but couldn’t be arsed.


No pitch, no strips and no money. Tell me again that they were looking to help other clubs when they wanted a loan, and explain to me exactly why they are demanding an investigation into the SPFL/SFA, but only if the ones they want investigating are removed from office first.


They have been known to use deflector shields before, but this time one can only hope that there’s enough power to keep them on, especially as they probably haven;t paid the leccy bill either.


There’s been some talking up of Ibrox loannee Ionas Hagi, who has actually been described as a ” Rangers star “, which is an incredible level of inaccuracy in just two words, with talk even of the Romanian, who helped “rangers ” to collapse when he joined in the winter break, siging a permanent deal at the club/company.


Of course, this is nonsense, but the real reason behind it may be linked to a conversation that took place on PLZ radio, between Peter Martin, Alan rough, and title winning manager of Kelty Hearts, Barry Ferguson, who used to play for Rangers, tax free.


Asked about his nephew, Lewis Ferguson, who plays for Aberdeen, and a possible move to Celtic, Ferguson diplomatically replied…

“Of course he would consider it. It’s a big club,” 

“Would I talk to him again? I’d need to think about that!  


Looks like a win-win for the young lad, but with Ferguson having one eye on a possible vacancy at Ibrox, he seemed to sound a little more mature than one would ordinarily give him credit for, when he continued…


“He’s the type of boy that it wouldn’t faze him. It wouldn’t bother him about his dad playing at Rangers and obviously his uncle playing for Rangers.

“If it was the right fit for him, Lewis has got to look out for his own future so if Celtic came in I think he would have to consider it.”  


So, let’s have a look into the future, although I may be crediting Bazza with a little more nous than he actually has….


Bekkie's Wonderland: How To Make An Origami Fortune Teller


“rangers ” collapse, Hagi goes back to Belgium, Gerrard goes back to England, Davis and MacGregor TUPE again to anyone who will have them, as, indeed do Morelos, Tavernier and anyone else that can find a club.

Led by Walter Smith , a new club/company is formed, and Barry Ferguson gets the manager’s job, and his first signing is Lewis Ferguson, snatched from under the noses of Celtic.

If anyone in the Scottish mainstream media is curious as to how I would handle a full time job on their sports desk, I reckon they’d agree that I’ve just come up with something that they wish they’d thought of, apart from the bit about another collapse and another new club.


Scottish football will, by the way, take it’s lead from UEFA, and some time this week or next, we’ll still be none the wiser, although Sweden and Germany may restart their football, the Westminster government s still hell bent on sacrificing a couple of thousand people a day, which means that their way of dealing with covid leaves a lot to be desired, like maybe a phone call to Sweden or Germany to help them out a bit.

Although it does seem rather stupid to even consider it before a vaccine is developed and put in general use…


By the way, there is clearly a massive crisis behind closed doors in Scottish football, not just because of Covid, although it hasn’t helped, and the sooner some leadership is shown by someone the better, because right now all that we seem to hear from Hampden is the sound of a can being kicked down Aitkenhead Road…



And what of Celtic ?

I suppose they deserve a mention in a Celtic Diary, and someone at Celtic Park has decided that they’d better say something.

Or tell someone else to say something…

Season book renewals are due, and although they haven;t officially said anything, it’s more than likely the deadline will be extended.

John Paul Taylor said as much on Twitter….


Celtic FC SLO
Replying to

There’s a high likelihood that will be extended Davie which will hopefully be a help until there’s more clarity around the whole situation  
He later added…
Celtic FC SLO
Replying to


I‘d expect updated info from the Club prior to May 29 and once there is a clearer picture of what next season looks like  
 Until then, those who use V12 to pay for their books, might want to have a look at their website…





If you stick with it, they may well grant a payment holiday, as they have done with one or two others.




It was never going to take long, was it ?




The equivalent product from Ibrox merhandisers is a full face version, and therefore will benefit society in many more ways than those above.



There’s an interesting piece in the Guardian about the morality of football and where it gets its money from. This is worth reading if only to show that the game in England now is nearly, if not completely, absolutely lost to the disiples of greed.


Guardian article


Scottish football, at least, has been spared that particular problem, although you do get the feeling that thise who run clubs would like to have those issues, it isn’t likely to be a problem.

But with clever marketing accentuating whats good about our game, and sold to someone who would give it exposure, with a full support package and not just the occasional live game, there is hope yet.

Then again, the right people aren’t in place to do that.



Yesterday, we had this picture to study..




Caption: John Wayne Bobbit’s ex shows off her trophy cabinet   


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Caption.. british government’s reactions to Covid-19 deemed to be piss poor


Caption: Andy Warhol’s ‘Gazza shitting in the bath.’


Caption: ‘ Charlie Saiz the Font of all pish ‘

Monti.. oh dear 🙂



Telly tubbies miss hear song lyrics “pissin in the park waiting for you”


. . . .rainbow, I can piss a rainbow . . .


Caption: Everyone, Anyone except that green wan.


Caption : Can we have three more volunteers to do our support the NHS display ?


If ever you needed reminding that football has sold its soul then you just have to imagine the sweat coming from every pore (buckets full), at UEFA. They are in a state of panic at the thought of losing out on billions of pounds of T.V. money, £750 million alone from the EPL. having to exploring every avenue to complete this season. Meanwhile some at FIFA. are enmeshed in criminal trials for corruption. The SFA.- SPFL. have their own issues to deal with, like the clubs who are only interested in themselves, their own bad or untimely decisions staring them… Read more »


this statue lark is a piece of piss.


An update on Blackpool tory Scott Benton who is the only person to back Gregory Campbell’s motion on the SPFL. He’s been a Yorkshire Councillor, tried to get elected as an MLA in N Ireland, wants all schools to fly the union flag and sing God save the queen every day at assembly!! Sounds to me like a tory party whore!!

You couldn’t make it up.



Statement o’clock – The Ranjurzz new PR guru announces the “Everyone Anyone” campaign is like pissing in the wind!

zurdo zurdo

According to Spanish press the Huns have already bid 5 million euros for Hagi.





Although out of picture, guess which one isn’t pissing in a pot?


Cheers for putting up big Billy’s picture yesterday. Yer no a bad auld soul. 😉 < 9.


Cheers Mike. A picture of the big fella was much more than I could put in words.


How right it was to remember him and his friends and team-mates yesterday, I don’t mind saying that I was thinking about him and his all day. And what he and his teammates and big Jock did for our club. You are perfectly correct in that sometimes a picture says more than mere words. Requiescat in Pace.


Football is in a really bad place, Doncaster demanding something be done by the Scottish Government as they bring in two hundred plus million a year. When you watch these morons you can understand how 2012 happened. One life is one too many when it comes to playing a football match, but their greed exceeds their needS. As for the Wankers death by a thousand cuts continue as the stupid stupid media punt fantasy stories, the only place that Spanish media picked up the Hagi story is guess where zurdo zurdo? Caption Rankers devise a new way to celebrate nine… Read more »


“Green and red and yellow and blue…
I can piss a rainbow
Piss a rainbow
Piss a rainbow too”


Caption : “The runner-up in the ‘Design the Celtic Way‘ competition.


I can piss a rainbow, piss a rainbow, piss a rainbow too.


Caption: Guests arrive at Max Mosley’s Jelly Baby themed orgy.


My caption being moderated today as well ?


An it appears …like magic

C S… I like the way you look for the positives 🙂

C S.. Yep there are no positives to this only Boris and the rest if his tory sheep have been rumbled and now known for their feckless and reckless handling of it all… STUPID CNUTS

Yeah the’ve been rumbled. But the UK is stuck with them for the remainder of this fixed term parliament.Next up how many ways can they fuck up BREXSHIT?
It’s like working in a place you love and the boss is an Arsehole protected from above. SFA you can do about it short term.
Time for Indy2 when this Pandemic is over.
Stay Safe

Russia and China aren’t close allies.

Take the tinfoil off and read a book…no, not that one.

Arsene Parcelie

“Oor Wullies dinnae need tae sit oan the pail furra pish ony mair.”


awe ffs as if thur isnae enough shit going on noo he wants putin and xi jinping to hav a square go




The flow of talent at Murray Park was a sight to behold.


Caption: “Prostatectomy Park”


Caption; Prior to the attempted Jewelry store heist, the Reservoir Dogs were little more than anarchic pranksters.

Patrick O Hara

Quick. Get them to the STD clinic immediately. They have caught rangeritis.


Auchinleck Talbot awarded Junior title despite being 12 points behind Kilwinning Rangers. Just read that again, breathe in deeply through your nose, with eyes closed, and savour the sheer mayhem in their lodges and bowling clubs that that is going to cause when they get back in.


Caption: Argentinian memorial staute to Willie Johnstone’s urine sample.


The Raynjurz Walkway

Christina, following Owen’s advice yesterday, I’m sure most people who post on Jabba the Agnivore don’t use a WordPress account. They just access the site through Google and wait to clear moderation once, after which you can post freely. I think all you really need is a ‘burner’ email address with Google which can be in any name you like. I don’t post much these days as I’m increasingly decrepit but I still read Pat and would love to see you back as a regular.


Hi Arsene I have kinda thought that might be the case as this is how I got back on a few days ago. Might have another go today. Really is the hardest of blogs to access- by a country mile! Just confirms for me it is the right place for me to be keep me out of trouble:-) been missing the guys big time!
Still love seeing your posts so please keep going if you can – big love C xx

CHRISTINA… how often have you got yourself into trouble?

Luke Warmwater

Get ahead of the Queues by taking the Pees


This situation shows the unpreparedness of the whole football world to deal with 3-5 months of no revenue. Yet they generate so much money from TV in most countries and UEFA and FIFA sit on millions and millions from European competition and world cup. Where is that money? FIFA and UEFA and other associations could be handing out money to leagues and national bodies to ensure the game survives. Those clubs in deep financial trouble would have to enact sensible sustainable financial approaches or get nothing. Football needs to consider a global or local or both rainy day funds (… Read more »


The Kingdom of Saud buying Newcastle, the top end is a money laundering racket and the bottom end a plaything for the local Johnny big baws.


Well said.

On the point about making provision for the rainy days, check out “Ticked off Vic” in full flow:


It does look like uefa are beginning to see an end.

Martyn Ziegler

Hearing UEFA’s executive committee has just decided that if leagues do not finish then qualification for Champions League/Europa League should be on sporting merit (which sounds like points per game)


It looks like the Green Light has been given, to the SPFL. to declare Celtic the champions, if they choose to, once again. 😉 < 9

Dear'y me, cutting down hawthorn bushes is like going through Martin Bains Shredder.


If Sevco are that unhappy with UEFA they can always refuse to take part in European competition next season!! Now that would be a real statement instead of their usual bluster!!

Celtic Park April 23rd 1988. Celtic 3 Dundee 0 Centeneary title is secured. Attendance officially 60+ Really 75k I was there what a day. A day never to be forgotten as usual we had fluffed our lines the week before to the Jam tarts So off we went again this time nothing would stop us. Big Mick was back at the heart of the defence after suspension. We made our way along the London road and our bus parked up at the fire station. We were normally last in to the ground well we didn’t normally score the winner till… Read more »

Rob O'Keeffe

Ferguson for Celtic? Er,no thanks…..


Your red mate needs to see a doctor

Caption : Canny haud it in any longer red m8 me neither blue boy am the same says green I’m going for it says yellow am bursting man fuck it
Weeeeeeee ah fuck am away Tae and me and me yessssssssssss.

Interesting article on the Beeb: “Bundesliga ‘ready to return on 9 May’, says German Football League” bbc[dot]co.uk/sport/football/52379825 Teams have already restarted training and league to decide on 30th April whether this is possible. It seems ridiculously early but you’d have more confidence on the Germans doing it correctly than the SFA. Also goes into details of what would be required eg a max of 300 people (100 pitch side (players, coaches, medics etc), 100 in stadium and 100 outside) all isolated from each other. For Scottish Football to be even contemplating this, we need to see it proven to work… Read more »


Yes and the German plan seems wildly optimistic to me. One player or anyone else gets the virus and then comes the sackings and court cases. Maybe they can pull this off somehow I doubt it


Mind you the German plan when they invaded Russia, it too was wildly optimistic.

Hibs are donating £5 to the local nhs charity if fans buy the top with the thank you NHS logo on it. Now I’m sure Hibs aren’t using this current crisis as a marketing ploy? Surely not.
But Peter must be mad he didn’t think of it first.
Would everyone be saying well done Celtic or Lawwell is a money grabber?
Also is it the whole £5 or after costs?
“All profits from the £5 application of the logo will go to our local NHS charity, Edinburgh & Lothians Health Foundation.”
A fine gesture if done for all the right reasons. But


Caption. In a piss taking competition, Wee Willy Winkie comes out on top.

The SPFL. have the right to call an end to the Scottish premiership if large crowds are to be banned due to Corona 19. Or due to insurmountable financial hardship.

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/