Celtic Diary Tuesday April 7: Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls

Celtic Diary Tuesday April 7: Ask Not For Whom The Bell Tolls

The nation held it’s breath last night as Prime Minister Johnson was rushed into intensive care having followed his own advice to the nation and contracted coronavirus.

Dominic “fuck me, Dover is a port ? ” Raab has taken over the hot seat, though presumably he’s disinfected it first.

Johnson has picked possibly the only politician less competent than himself just in case he ever gets his job back.

There is no truth in the tasteless rumour that the PM has asked doctors to place him in a ditch if the unthinkable happens to him, so that he could at least claim to have told the truth once.

 

Whilst no one wants to see anyone contract this virus and suffer the consequences, one cannot help but feel that he is paying perhaps too high a price for not listening to people who perhaps knew a little more about the virus than him, people who didn’t go around shaking hands with those infected….

Maybe I’m being harsh and unfeeling, but I don’t do hypocrisy… Piers Morgan, for instance, the cuddly tv presenter who is a legend in his own lunchtime, has fiercely criticised those who wish ill on the PM…and yet previously….

 

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With Celtic deciding that they will hold out to see the season concluded, and no sign of any money coming in from eatern markets, “rangers ” have announced that their playing staff and management will defer their wages for three months in a move reminiscent of the man who dropped them in the doodoo in the first place.

 

 

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The front page of the Record says there are six puzzles inside, but the real puzzle is why they’ve called it a pay cut, as though it’s some sort of noble geture to help the club during this current health crisis.

It isn’t.

Dave King’s cold shoulder meant that no one would go any where near Ibrox due to its toxicity, and now that he has gone people have found that money they would have allocated for , er, the big pit underneath govan can now be used elsewhere.

King was notable for placing his bills into a can and kicking it down the road, and it appears the Ibrox board have done the same.

However, there will be no forensic examination of the implications of this move in the mainstream media, as the unwritten law of ignoring bad news for the bears kicks in when anything like this happens, so the media move into their default mode and criticise Celtic instead.

This time, however, Celtic are not taking things lying down, and to the casual observer, they seem to be going for the jugular.

 

The desire to complete the season effectively detroys two possible income streams for “rangers “.

Prize money will not be paid in full until the league is finished, whether by completing the fixtures or the SPFL calling it over.

More importantly, season books cannot be sold until there is confirmation that there will not only be a season, but how many games it will consist of.

 

If the new season is delayed, then European competition is placed in doubt.

None of which suits “rangers “, and so even deferring wages is just moving the problem to another day.

 

Then there was Kevin McKenna in the Herald, spilling his soup all over an article which was headlined;

 

Why money-grabbing Celtic make me ashamed to be a fan

 

He continued;

 

….

Celtic has a few very rich employees who routinely earn more than £1m a year. At the other end of the wage structure they have many non-playing employees who are paid as little as the board think they can get away with. This week it chose to exploit the UK Government’s coronavirus bail-out scheme which will pay grants covering up to 80% of the salary of workers if companies keep them on their payroll.

The scheme is primarily intended to help small and vulnerable firms survive without having to make their workers redundant. I doubt very much if it was intended to be used by cash-rich sporting giants like several in the English Premiership, the richest football franchise in the world. Like Celtic, they too feel they must dip their beaks in the state’s largesse at a time of economic crisis.

It would be difficult for Celtic to impose arbitrarily a wage cut upon their highest paid players, but I’d like to think that some of the millionaires on their payroll might volunteer to accept a modest levy to guarantee the jobs and wages of the non-playing staff.

Celtic’s last set of annual results showed they had nearly £40m to play with, excluding £25m from the sale of Kieran Tierney. They have just concluded the richest sponsorship deal in Scottish sports history which won’t be far off £50m. Celtic can afford not to take advantage of the Government wages scheme and leave it for much more deserving causes.

I understand too that it might seem unfair to be singling out Celtic. I’d like to know, for instance, how many of those working in our richest financial institutions – those whom we bailed out in 2008 to save the economy – will forgo their massive bonuses in order to guarantee the wages of their most financially vulnerable employees.

And the decision by senior executives of the Scottish Rugby Union merely to ‘defer’ part of their ridiculously huge salaries is also astonishing. Rugby is a minority sport in Scotland and over the last decade or so, in a very small pool, Scotland have not been very good at it. But I’m a Celtic supporter and I’m simply examining the conduct of my own club.

In matters of finance Celtic always insist they must deliver their fiduciary duty to shareholders, a phrase that has become so synonymous with its directors that I expect it soon to be nailed above the entrance and translated into Latin.

Celtic is the richest, most successful and best-supported sporting organisation in the country. It exerts an influence on Scottish culture that goes well beyond football. The club itself ceaselessly proclaims it’s ‘more than just a football club’. It’s meant to convey a sense that they really are bound by higher values than mere profit, but they really aren’t.

Celtic borrowed the slogan from Barcelona who showed last week that they really are more than just a football club when their first team squad volunteered to make significant cuts in their salaries to protect the jobs and wages of non-playing staff.

The decisions Celtic and other rich sporting organisations make and the attitudes they adopt at times like this matter. People look to them seeking signs of humanity and good leadership. Coronavirus is asking us all to be the best versions of ourselves. This applies to the capricious, grasping world of football too.

 

 

McKenna has slipped into the nationwide agenda of blaming footballers and football clubs for not handing over their money during the curent crisis, which is a clear narrative that hopes people won;t notice that MPs, the aristocracy and the other wealthy monied classes are paying the square root of fuck all out of their own pockets, and by doing that, giving us a debate about footballers instead of an unbalanced economic structure.
 That angered Celtic, who received an apology from the paper… not for McKenna’s article, which had merely alerted the club to the criticism, but for another column…

FOLLOWING the serious misrepresentation of Celtic FC, The Herald newspaper today made the following apology to the Club.

“On our front page promotion for a column on Saturday, we stated ‘Celtic cutting non-playing staff’s money shows how far football has lost its soul’.

“We are happy to clarify that Celtic have not cut any non-playing staff’s money. All staff on the Government’s job retention scheme are having their salaries paid in full by Celtic.  We apologise to Celtic for our error.”

The Herald gets less readers than the Diary, and they’ve got a crossword.
No wonder they are in trouble.
Newspaper circulation in general has taken a hit as people no longer venture out for things that aren’t necessary, and having got out of the habit of grabbing a paper to read during one’s coffee break at work, many will not get back into that habit.
 The cost cutting that has lead to a dearth of serious reportage and a desire to merely publicise the antics of z list celebrities famous for being in the paper has finally caught up with them.
Unless they rethink their policies and invest in proper journalism, they will disappear, and although we have become used to an impotent print media, they still have a role to play in holding those who need to be held to account.
 But if they don’t, they are finished.
It’s easy to criticise the hacks , but harder to praise them when they do something noble, which may draw unwanted attention from the hordes, so when one of them does, it’s worth amplifying…not to get him more abuse from the darkside, but to let others know that it might be his editors who prevent him telling it how it is…
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Graham Spiers
@GrahamSpiers
Tomorrow’s back page in The Times. Alastair Johnston believes any Celtic 2020 title triumph might require “an asterisk”. If I was a Rangers director I think I’d keep mum on titles that require “an asterisk”…

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Where I live, the fair city of Stoke on Trent, has a former Celtic player, manager and all round good guy doing his bit for those who cannot do it for themselves, and not through any fault of their own.

Former Stoke City manager Lou Macari is donating another £25,000 to Stoke-on-Trent Foodbank – and urged other organisations to follow his lead.

He began his support of the Foodbank last year, handing them an initial £25,000 through his charity, The Macari Foundation.

And he’s now committed the same level of funding for this year to help ensure no-one in his adopted city goes hungry during the Coronavirus outbreak.

Macari said: “These are unprecedented times and foodbanks all over the country are struggling to keep up with demand. It’s no secret that Stoke-on-Trent has problems with poverty and we have to make sure no-one goes hungry.

“It looks like we won’t be returning to normality for some time and we should all be in this together. If we can afford to do it then organisations similar to ourselves should also be willing to put their hands in their pockets. There has never been a more urgent time to make sure our foodbanks are overflowing.”

Our CSC has been known to help out as well, because it’s one of the few charities that you can actually see that makes a difference.
Celtic Diary Thursday October 5: Exclusive: The One That Got Away ...
 Podcast listeners can now put a face to the dog that barks whenever Lawwell’s name is mentioned.
 The Diary likes to pay attention to the world’s media, and personalities who maybe don’t pay attention to accepted narratives and whilst Knob of the Week has been largely put to one side, ‘HappyCelticLass on twitter reminded me that there are still some knobs out there, so to speak, and we’ve found one….
This guy… Pat Anderson…
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 He’s got it on good authority that coronavirus isn’t a biological, weapon, a lab accident or even a new and adaptbale strain of an omnipresent RNA structure….
He knows what caused it…
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 We hear he has not been nominated for the Nobel Prize for Medicine, but he’s a clear and spontaneous winner of the Etims

Knob of the Week  

 

 

And trust me, these days, that is some achievement.

 

 

Yesterday, we had this….

 

 

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Whitearra
Caption : ‘The Royal Family’s “We’re all in this together tour” circa 1950s’.
with an honourable mention to…
CAPTION

Prince Philip gets roadside assistance to complete 3 point turn.

and a solution to one of lifes great mysteries from…
charlie
thats wit used tae happen wen ye didny pay the wains tae get yer motor watched on nuneaton street  
Today…
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SFTB

From the Gizmodo Blog:- There’s a new quote from Pat Robertson circulating on social media that supposedly shows the far-right pastor blaming the coronavirus pandemic on oral sex. Robertson is quoted as saying, “Some of these young uns are doing all kinds of unnatural things with their sex organs.” Admittedly, it sounds like something Robertson would say in real life. But it’s totally fake. The quote actually comes from a website called the Business Standard News, which either creates “satire” or intentionally fake news, depending on how you interpret their business model. But whatever you call it, Robertson didn’t actually… Read more »

Zappa did a song about him and his ilk, “Jesus Thinks You’re A Jerk”?

I read this today and it should make people wonder if the correct medical advise is being given to the NHS and medical teams across the globe. The Office for National Statistics has released new figures on the number of deaths involving coronavirus. The data gives us the most accurate picture of where deaths are occurring. Unlike the statistics we have heard about before now, these include every community death linked to Covid-19 in England and Wales. According to the data, which covers seven days, 539 death certificates mentioned coronavirus, which is 4.8% of all deaths in the week up… Read more »

Sre they in such a bad way because the whole process and advise is wrong to start with?

BroxburnBhoy

It depends of course if you are sick enough to go to hospital then you are already in a bad way. if you avoid it you have no worries and many people who get it survive it easily and never need to go to hospital. Those in hospitals are mostly people with underlying health issues or older. If you smoke, have high blood pressure, a history of respitory illness diabetes then you probably will end up in hospital if you get the virus

Cortes

Pat Robertson, Shirley?

alzyerpal

Pat Anderson. (Paddy on the Railway) Is sharpening his blogging pencil as we speak…

I note that the daily ranger reports a 50% wage deferral/ pay cut by the players and coaching staff for 3 months.
Yet no where in the sevco statement is that figure actually mentioned.
Yet it does clarify the goverment scheme and the club to make up the other 20%.
Strange that ?

highseastim

My preferred option after yesterday’s statement is season played to a finish behind closed doors meaning Celtic will be champions and Sevco will be in even bigger financial poo poo!!

alzyerpal

Coronavirus has proved beneficial for one Russian, who gets another chance to use his Bay of Pigs/Nuclear War stash

tony carlin

Right pal, that’s me ready I’m away to Asda

Monti

🙂

bgbhoy

how long is the money we have saved going to be there?

celtic pay an obscene amount in wages, which means they contribute an obscene amount in PAYE contributions.. it would be wreckless not to use any schemes designed at helping business survive this

why don’t you let the fans that actually pay into the club decide what is best for the club financially moving forward?

bgbhoy

haha if you say so

hope you’ve been doing your stretches since your ready to be called upon again eh?

you worry about that and the real fans can worry about the club moving forward

Rob O'Keeffe

As stated,Celtic became a money making Plc in 1897.As for paying into it,you haven’t been to Parkhead since it became all seated.Not even when the Bunnet was in charge? Was he not running the Club properly? You are an armchair expert,you have had no intention of supporting Celtic,just be honest.Maybe you might have a bevvy and let slip you were a Brit soldier during the armed struggle leading to you getting a doing from the whole pub?

bgbhoy

🙂

bgbhoy

and yet you sided with the torys and voted Brexit

dear me

henkesdreadlocks

So Thatcher is the bogeyman, yet what you and the clueless like you have enabled is far more right wing than anything Thatcher stood for. If you don’t think that’s the case then I suggest you get off the deludemol.

henkesdreadlocks

If Scotland voted Labour in every seat, you would still have a Tory majority in excess of 60 seats. Will you get this into your thick skull, this is not about nationalism, this about ridding us of Westminster and English nationalism. England gets what England wants and for what now is the majority of Scots, we don’t want to be part of that.

henkesdreadlocks

I think you’ll find that the majority want the feck out of this imbalanced arrangement, it’s certainly not a union. The world has shrunk and changed and being denied the opportunity that Europe brings, in exchange for being the 51st state of Trumpland, I know which one any sane person would choose.You are an enabler in this clusterfuck. If you think there can possibly be an upside to Brexshit,then again, you better stock up on the huns supply of deludomol.

henkesdreadlocks

Just to reiterate, in 2014 Brexit hadn’t happened, 6 years later it still hasn’t happened and when it does and the reality of it sinks in, there will be in excess of 60% of Scots that want to dissolve what you call a union.

bgbhoy

pretty sure all this furloughing etc is costing the uk as whole close to a trillion.. so whats the difference?

it amazes me you are not a DR or a professor with all of the obvious stuff you post then try to take credit for

also sad how you post a full 24 hours later like this has kep you up all night thinking of things to say

now get back into the garden and do your stretches, your country needs you…

bgbhoy

‘having established you would never serve under the butchers apron..’

fixed that for you

Monti

bgbhoy,
I had a discussion with your old man about the club going down the furlough route.
My opinion like my waistline differs from his, i don’t think the club should have gone down that path, that being said, what i’d like to know is how much would it have cost the club to not furlough non playing staff for a few months?
There will lie the answer.

Bgbhoy

And your opinion is respected as a man who actually pays in to the club

Monti

Whatever do you mean sir? 🙂

Jimmy Bell scunnert, as stock-room runs low of pots to pish in.

Whitearra

Celtic are a capitalist entity. They’re doing what capitalists do! Sadly, the club’s founding ethos was lost long ago. Yes, the players should man up. However, perhaps Kevin’s ire should also be directed at those owners, individuals and companies evading tax on a regular and massive scale. I’m sure that Kevin’s wages are way in excess of most of Etims readers and he’s made the noble gesture he has requested of others.

Btw : The Huns haven’t taken a wage cut. The wages have been deferred i.e. put off to a later time – possibly because the Board can’t make payroll.

George Lazenbhoy

Caption : got myself prepped for lockdown with 8 bags of coke but how the hell am I supposed to snort them.

Puggy67

Kevin McKenna is the former Executive Editor of the Daily Mail in Scotland. He’s Mo Johnstone with a thesaurus. And on that other clown called Johnston – asterisk the gall!©

Cartvale88

Caption
One of the peepul in preparation for ten in a row

Love how the SMSM turn the Rankers story into a story of achievement, whilst ignoring the other side of this agreed cut.
The Board at the Crumbledome are playing to the lowest common denominator, ‘asterisk years my arse’.
As for a Liewell he is probably luxuriating on his heated driveway, in complete denial of the problems at hand and how furloughing staff is pathetic.

henkesdreadlocks

Caption………..

Local drug dealers PCP and PPE mix up. His urine samples don’t look too healthy either.

Bognorbhoy

Caption ….
Walter White regrets running out of drain cleaner , and can’t source anymore from Costco due to panic buying selfish bastards…

Devoy45

Caption: A day in the life of Prince Charles.

Rebus67

Here is my experience with CV19, or, rather, that of my son. He has the virus..picked it up in early March as he travelled to and from Denmark. He was flattened for about three days…difficult to even raise his head, no real appetite for almost a week and significant weight loss. After about 10 days he thought he was well on the mend. Then, whambo, pneumonia set in. He still has that. At no time did he see a doctor…only contact was by telephone, and mostly with a receptionist! His diagnosis? Initially, perhaps CV19, just self isolate, drink lots of… Read more »

henkesdreadlocks

Bgbhoy had it in in mid February. I posted in jest that he had it thinking it was a really bad case of flu, but following an anti body test it was confirmed.

Monti

Confirmed Walloper?

Monti

Caption: Pizza Express, Chernobyl

henkesdreadlocks

Posted this for you today……

Caption: Pizza Express,Woking

henkesdreadlocks

That’s you fucked now.

Monti

🙂

bgbhoy

don’t act the big man just because you are in lockdown….

bgbhoy

@monti

Monti

You know what the outcome would be!

henkesdreadlocks

Sounds horrific Rebus. Thoughts and prayers with you and the family.

Monti

Rebus,
Good health to your family!

highseastim

Best wishes for your son Rebus67

Ahah! That’s where Dave king is hiding, his bunker or was this a picture of him in his ibrokes office when he heard big Mike Ashley was looking for him lol

Monti

If this is down to oral sex then i must have it, i’ve been muff diving for a fortnight.

henkesdreadlocks

You’re losing it ya maniac.

bgbhoy

haha you playing the sims again for the xbox?

Christina

Too much information sir! @monti

The Lady is obviously not amused.
Stay Safe Christina,nae shakin hauns noo. Elbows only frae noo oan.

Christina

I’m fine hope you keep safe & well too Jimboh! (Can’t get on to ‘Agnivores’at mo will keep trying) rest assure shaking hands is not an issue at mo in our locked down household – shaking throats, on the other hand, is mightily tempting…..:-)

Monti

Jimboh,
How are you my good fellow?

Monti

Christina,
Good to see you on here, i get the impression you are a lady with a touch of class.

bgbhoy

again the reference’s to ass/bums

henkesdreadlocks

Must be a soldier thing, though could be referring to one of his relatives.

Monti

You could borrow the crayons from those in mi6 who frequented Kincora.

Puggy67

Licking mirrors instead of the usual windees?

charlie

caption wanny pat robertsons faithful follow followers makes a valiant attempt tae avoid smelly f”nnies

highseastim

Enjoying a busy afternoon in the garden, cutting the grass, edging paths and weeding. Listening to The Cure – Greatest hits and Echo & The Bunnymen – Songs to Learn and Sing on vinyl on my wee record player in the summerhouse. Lovely day up here in the North East, wife indoors making Fruit and Cheese Scones on her days off.

charlie

fruit and cheese scones ye say fook social distancing wer dae ye stay he he

Patrick O Hara

What a pleasure today to read so many erudite and well written replies. It goes show that we are all “Jock Tamsons Bairns “. I have done a little (very) research that proves Jock and his family emigrated from Donegal to Scotland during the Famine. Despite the diversity of opinions we all belong to the Green and White Family. For that I am thankful. Good luck to everyone during the next few months.

bgbhoy

you must have missed Monti’s contribution

Monti

🙂

Dziekanowski's nightclub child

Caption: Skeletor has fallen into a deep depression since He-Man caught the virus

Whitearra

Caption : ‘Alex Rae lets the Daily Ranger into his bunker’.

Devoy45

Rebus, man, you have our sympathies and good wishes. Heard today about a radio presenter named Adam Rutherford who does science programmes. His description is almost exactly as you describe for your son. Rutherford was just feeling much better when pneumonia hit. He was just thinking of going into hospital when his antibiotics finally kicked in at the very last moment. Like your son, he was recovering from Covid when he was hit with pneumonia, also a big killer. Stay safe, be canny. You’ll never walk alone.

Patrick O Hara

I want to thank Ralph for the daily diary and his humour. With isolation this contact will become more and more important to a lot of people. I feel that you are providing a very positive social need. Thanks.

Rob O'Keeffe

Bollocks,the Huns have deferred their salaries for 3 months because they were told to by their board because they are skint.Celtic have been a Plc since 1897.Business is business,Celtic are simply ruining their company in a fit and proper manner unlike that mob that you seem to think deserve credit?…..

Rob O'Keeffe

Oops,running instead of the predictive word..

bgbhoy

he is showing his colours

just thumb down his comment and move on, it really gets to him

Rob O'Keeffe

I hear people praising Barcelona.Is this not the club who have had several players and relatives involved in tax evasion being threatened with huge fines and lengthy jail time?Celtic take a leaf out of that mob’s book? Nope,don’t think so.Can you think of a club in liquidation that indulged in behaviour like that?Don’t seem to remember any of their players being threatened with the jail? Now,the 8 year old club who were heavily involved with a convicted tax fraudster are being lauded for having to defer pay for months due to basically operating whilst insolvent?Nope,don’t think I’ll give them any… Read more »

Puggy67

Caption: Monti’s preparations for his Guinness Book of Records attempt at muff diving (duration) is throw into chaos when for unknown reasons Norris McWhirter announces a boycott.

Rob O'Keeffe

Caption: Oh no,I forgot the toilet roll and pasta…

Puggy67

Caption: Until Holland & Barrett live up to the principles of Alfred Slapps Barrett and Major William Holland, I’ll not be back.

mattyboy

alex rae finally unmasked

sfa unfit for purpose

Somewhere in South Africa , Dave King begins to wonder if this ‘fully stocked doomsday bunker’ he has just bought isn’t just a room n kitchen with bottled pish.

Monti

Desimond,
Does Monty Burns post on the Diary under a different name?
He talks as much pish as the rest of us…get him on!

Monti

Caption: Mike awaits delivery of his corduroy trousers & Fergusson tractor.

sfa unfit for purpose

As Ralph correctly pointed out we are now in the Twilight Zone , with Dominic Raab the former Brexit Secretary who wasn’t aware the Dover to Calais crossing was a major route for trade with Europe , possibly now running the UK sh@tshow.
I blame the schools……..

Monti

I wouldn’t pay too much attention to what Ralph said, it’ll be fabricated pish.
Unless it’s about Merseyside/Everton & rumours 🙂

I blame my ain folk for not voting for independence.

Puggy67

I blame the cowards who voted no.

bgbhoy

does that hat say ulster? no surprise then…

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/