Celtic Diary Sunday March 22: Filling Space And Other Tittle Tattle

As the sports media try desperately to fill space on their pages and airwaves, we’re going to see a number of headlines and stories that frankly have little basis in reality.

The dilemma at Etims is do we join them in making stuff up-as if we ever would-or do we simply record them so we can all have a good chuckle about it afterwards ?

With print and audiovisual media, the stories can be quickly forgotten, and are often just made up on the spur of the moment in that knowledge, whereas on the interweb, one can be reminded for years of the occasional lapse in concentration and accuracy.

 

Jordan Ibe , the Bournemouth winger, is apparently willing to take a pay cut to join Celtic, whilst Maryan Shved-remember him ?-is to undergo talks about his future at the club. These will take place as soon as he can speak English.

 

By the time football starts again, we’ll have forgotten all about this tittle tattle, but such is the dearth of real news, it will give commentators and click baiters something to harp on about until the next round of stories.

 

The financial cutbacks at Hearts have opened the door for a potential move for Aaron Hickey, who may well be the Edinburgh clubs “alfredo morelos ” as they try to raise funds to stave off doing a Rangers.

 

Hearts, to be fair, did cut back on staff the last time they ran out of money, and will see raising money through sales as a way of remaining solvent, and although there will be a number of clubs interested in the defender, the former Celtic Academy man  may well choose to see his time at Tynecastle in the same way Calum MacGregor will remember his Notts County days.

 

One move that should still go ahead is that concerning David Turnbull of Motherwell. He’s going back under the knife during the enforced break to ensure he’s back when football is….as Motherwell CEO Alan Burrows explained;

 

“David had two steel pins inserted when he had knee surgery last year. It was always going to require a minor operation to take them out.

 

“With no games scheduled for the foreseeable future, he’s gone under the knife now. It will take him three or four weeks to recover.

 

If we’d waited until May, that could have impacted on his pre-season training. Now it won’t.”

 

Hickey, Turnbull….are Celtic going to shop local ?

 

With the latter, it’s important to note he recently signed a new deal with Motherwell, until 2022, and so it may be a year or so before he joins up with Celtic, who will monitor his progress.

 

One might be tempted to think that with Brexit on the horizon, there will be restrictions on foreign players coming to Scotland, as freedom of movement will be curtailed, and there is no reason to expect football to be treated any differently from any other industry.

 

If that is the case, sky sports will join Setanta in sports fans minds…and the debtors courts…

 

Arsenal are , according to the Daily Mirror, going to make a bid for Oddsone Edoaurd, although it’s not likely to be a long term loan similar to the Keiran Tierney deal. The English club will not be the only one mentioned in connection with the French forward, but delighted hacks know they can come up with all sorts of headlines, safe in the knowledge that there won;t be many clubs not interested in him.

 

One player who will be around for a few years yet is Scott Brown, at least if Neil Lennon has his way. The manager spoke to the Evening times about his captain, and how he wants him at his side for years to come…

 

“I wasn’t here at the time but when I heard the talk about him possibly going to Australia, I thought it would have been a disaster,” 

“As far as I am concerned, when he stops playing there will be a coaching role for Scott here at the club. I would offer him something straight away.

“For me, it is the obvious path for him in the future. He is doing his badges at the minute and I would definitely want him around the place when he stops playing.”  

I speak to Scott all the time about things,” 

“He is my go-to guy in the squad about a range of subjects. I couldn’t ask for a better captain than him to be honest.

“He tells you how the dressing room his feeling about a certain situation or whatever and you go from there. All the players in the team respect him and he is a huge figure at the club.

“He has a bigger role this time around than in my first spell. He is a few years older and he has won so much in the game. He has led the squad to so much success and he has matured into a great lad and great player, so it is only right I speak to him about things.

“He sets the template at this club for all of the players. In training he still has that great desire to work hard and all the boys take their lead from him as their captain.

“You can’t give him that, or coach that into someone, it is built in him. He wants to keep pushing himself, but also the team on to bigger and better things.

“During this spell of not playing, but even when we have games coming up, if he suspects even the slightest bit of complacency then he nips it in the bud straight away.

“Players listen to him and he is a great role model to the players.”

As for his contribution on the park…

 

“He is looking well, and he has had a great season so far,” 

“He will be around next year that’s for sure.

“I think he would be a huge loss to us as a club if he stopped playing. The way he has played and the way he leads on and off the park he has been exemplary up until now. This wee break might do him the word him the world of good.”

 

Someone like Brown, with his loyalty and affection for the club, is essential in helping new or young players not only settle, but hang around for perhaps longer than they originally intended to.

 

Meanwhile, the coronavirus pandemic continues to affect our day to day existence.

 

Despite all the evidence to the contrary, people still think it’s fine to go about their normal daily business, so perhaps there is something in Johnson overall plan to cull the herd until it’s immune.

 

The panic buying has reached ludicrous levels, with dog and cat food now being hoarded.

 

Although one guy found that it has reached even greater levels of stupidity…

 

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Another fellow was seen removing two bottles of handwash from a shop whilst customers and owners argued over the price of toilet rolls, in what police described as an almost perfect distraction robbery…

 

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Actually, it’s not that at all. It’s Mark Hateley on his way to hand over hand sanitizer to an old folks home.

Presumably his face mask and gloves are in the car….

 

Anyone recognise this guy ?

 

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Instead of putting together videos of him singing tunes to inspire us, Jon bon Jovi is getting his hands wet helping out in the kitchen whilst others prepare the food for the hungry and the homeless….

 

Meanwhile, there’s countless videos of countless talentless celebs doing their bit for world morale, by ensuring that most people are hoping to get the chance to punch them on the nose when they bump into them.

 

Some people, of course, should be tied to a post and punched repeatedly…

 

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When all this is over, that man has a special place in hell reserved for him, and hopefully he’s on the same floor as me.

 

He’s a perfect example of what happens when those who spend their lives looking at theories and models and no experience of real life at any level get a chance to influence anything.

 

Perhaps he’s upset that his one day out is cancelled…it seems to be named in his honour…

 

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One tweeter asked why we don;t do Knob of the Week any more, and it’s simple really.

What would normally constitute knobbery of the finest order has been far, far outweighed by the likes of Cummings, Johnson, the bloke who owns Weatherspoons and the ultimate in Knobbery, Richard Fucking Branson, to give him his full name.

 

Today is Mother’s Day, and I’d wish my mum a happy mothers day here, but she doesn;t read this stuff as she thinks I talk shite.

 

But I’ll ring her later, and ask if she got the card. I’ll also ask if she got the money I put in it, and when she says no, I’ll blame my brother for stealing it.

That way, he’ll get his head bitten off and I’ll get that warm glow of accomplishment to help me through another day of sitting in the house trying to work out my next career move.

 

Yesterday, we had this…

 

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Alan Ryan
Today…
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Mike
1 year ago

Yesterday was a fine football day, I stumbled across the English League Cup semis and finals, so did some of the players too because the pitch’s looked like war zones and possibly they were. Heavily sanded, huge crowds stood on wooden stepped terraces with the odd steel barrier. Head high boot tackles, hard tackling and long high balls to physical players, blood and gut football. One or two players stood out, a young Martin O’Neil, I should have known what a fine player he was. Wycombes young John Barnes, big, tall, fast, athletic, just before finally settling on joining Liverpool. Perhaps not the most glamourous but certainly very entertaining.

Mike
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike

And then was the Diego Maradonna story, when he joined Napoli. Like a Greek tragedy of a wasted genius. Love, hate, cocaine, mafia, an idol to the Napoli supporters before Argentina put out Italy in the final of the World Cup and would you believe in the Napoli stadium. A spurned child who was the image of his father, it took until his teens till he was acknowledge as his son. What a wonderful and highly entertaining story, perhaps the best ever. Fitbaw eh, our drug of choice.

charlie
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike

maradona show was great mikey

Mike
1 year ago
Reply to  charlie

It certainly was Charlie. You could watch as he became overwhelmed and suffocated by it all. But what a player, his touch and control of the ball was superb, as was his reading of the game. If only the Napoli president let him leave after his first year, he might have had a better life, perhaps, but no-one will know that.
As an Italophilia, my heart goes out to the Italian people, I love the country and its people, God Bless them all…

charlie
1 year ago
Reply to  Mike

italophilia ye say mikey a had tae look that wan up he he and after careful consideration a concur ha ha

Mike
1 year ago
Reply to  charlie

ITALIA, ITALIA, Ha-ha.

Binkabhoy
1 year ago

Caption: Alfredo’s hairstyle finally explained

Puggy67
1 year ago

Caption: The Scottish civil service’s arrangements for Alex Salmond’s haircuts.

Spudscave
1 year ago

Caption I only went oot fur a loaf how will a explain this tae her indoors

Patrick O Hara
1 year ago
Reply to  Spudscave

Caption.
Rangers spokesman visits upmarket hairdressers for his “hair today gone tomorrow ” moment.

Patrick O Hara
1 year ago
Reply to  Patrick O Hara

Come on CS. Make me wish that I had said that. I need cheered up with this self isolation malarkey!!!

Bognorbhoy
1 year ago

Caption…
A Perry Como my erse…you’ll have a grade wan like every other Kent that won’t self isolate…

Cartvale88
1 year ago

Caption

Wance the barbers finished, doon the pub for a swallie.

Still in denial as the Scots media overview the Rankers and the players they will bring in, plus pay for Georgi Hadgi, as the lockdown continues the Wankers trundle towards the cliff.
Journos prattling on about null and void, as if there’s much chance of that happening.

Whitearra
1 year ago

Caption : ‘So Father, anything for weekend?’

SteveNaive
1 year ago

Mike, I saw that as well. What a team Forest had. You could see them building to back to back European Cups. West Brom weren’t too shabby either. Loads of Scots throughout, Laurie Cunningham on the bench ! Willie Johnson left wing.

Mike
1 year ago
Reply to  SteveNaive

Absolutely Steve, harking back to Scottish players being in big demand, with their skill, talent and controlled aggression.
Those were the days, what happened to Scottish football and to Scottish players, was it sectarianism? that disease that divides the Country? That perhaps as well as greed, and self interest, they all played their part no doubt, but perhaps also was a reduction in poverty combined with the small number of population.

henkesdreadlocks
1 year ago

Caption……..

Being very adept at talking out of his arse, Kris Boyd ingests a mega pack of Monster Munch using the very same orifice.

charlie
1 year ago

maws are always right ralph……if at first ye dont succeed dae the wae yer maw telt ye

charlie
1 year ago

a telt a zombie this mornin two pasta barons wer ready tae bail thum oot ………….he believed me ha ha aint huns dumb

charlie
1 year ago

20 year fae now pasta barons will be the new royalty ye heard it heer first

charlie
1 year ago

am no wan fur stealin other peoples caption but jeez it wis only a cough he he

The Cha
1 year ago

Say what you like about the pandemic but its got Ralph writing the diary every day.

Monti
1 year ago
Reply to  The Cha

Ralph,
Your mother is clearly a great judge of character, could you ask her to read a few samples of archived Charlie Saiz posts & give us feedback 🙂

bgbhoy
1 year ago
Reply to  Monti

earlier thread monti my team is

buffon
cafu cannavaro virgil maldini

Iniesta Xavi

c Ronaldo

messi larsson

bgbhoy
1 year ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

so good I only need 10 players…

bgbhoy
1 year ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

managed by lennon assisted by deila

Monti
1 year ago
Reply to  bgbhoy

Nurse,
Meds tray please ^

charlie
1 year ago
Monti
1 year ago
Reply to  charlie

Well done Charlie bhoy!
Fantastic!

1 year ago
Reply to  charlie

Brilliant words from Bobby
TAL.

Pensionerbhoy
1 year ago

Caption:

“Window chopping”

As fur me, well A’m jist a lonely bhoy, lonely and gree-een. A’m all alone with nuthin’ tae clean – ma arse wae.

Take care everyone. I am thinking of you every morning perched on a an empty shelf. Down here even the veg has gone intae self-isolation. Never mind, the wife tastes delicious, battered wae butter and roasted for an hour wae a delicious little béarnaise sauce even if a bit too chilli in places. That new tank-size oven was worth every penny:)

She doesn’t read this either, Ralph. So I’m safe for now. She thinks I’m doing an Open University course on self discipline. I told her you were my sobriety lecturer 🙂

God bless. Praying for you all.

H H

1 year ago

Can i have a short back and side windows mhate

Puggy67
1 year ago

Spent an hour at the wife’s grave this morning. Silly bitch thinks I’m digging a pond.

charlie
1 year ago
Reply to  Puggy67

ha ha ha ha

Monti
1 year ago

Caption: ” Yeah China was nice, a nice wee break, not to keen on the bats tho, a bit chewy “

Monti
1 year ago
Reply to  Monti

Anyone interested in a very watchable box set, during all this shit?

‘The Shield’ is top drawer & you won’t be disappointed.
7 seasons in total, give it a go bhoys.

Class.

Monti
1 year ago
Reply to  Monti

Channel 4 running it!

Iancelt67
1 year ago
Reply to  Monti

Cartoon??
Seriously. Rotten tomatoes gives it a 9/10 must be ok. Just finished line of duty.

Devoy45
1 year ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

Solutions to the season? Maybe the Highland League is showing the way. Brora Rangers are leading by 13 points with six games to play and have now been awarded the title and the season has been declared over. Yes, these are not ordinary times. Come May or June, hundreds will be dying daily so no football will be being played.It’s very odd to hear Sevco talking about the ‘integrity’ of the game. If roles were reversed, they would want the title awarded to them. Our bhoys would also reluctantly accept that decision. Can’t have it both ways. The SPFL should compute the average points per game per team and construct the final table based on that. They should then draw up a list of rules should this happen again in future. Simples.

Monti
1 year ago
Reply to  Devoy45

Devoy,
For me this is all very simple, the season has basically paused, all we need to do is resume the season whenever that is, every remaining fixture must be played, be that behind closed doors or at a time when the supporters are allowed back in.
Interestingly though there is a precedence for a season being ‘ cancelled ‘, not sure what year it was or who were awarded the title but when the balkans war kicked off, the season was stopped & the team at the top WERE awarded the title.
One thing that can’t happen is this ‘ null & void ‘ pish.

Monti
1 year ago
Reply to  Iancelt67

You won’t be disappointed!

TicToc
1 year ago

C/Saiz, I’ve been on your side, as much as I’ve ever been on anyone’s side, on a site I enjoy, eTims.
I feel/felt sorry that your own admittance of being a Tim and also ex-army was/is unacceptable; It is NOT unacceptable to me.
I DO NOT tolerate bullying. IMHO, in the past, you’ve been bullied. But now, and more recently, as you’ve clearly been banned from JJ’s site and post under an alternate Moniker on PMGB’s site, your infuriating ‘stabbing’ of JJ and all he says reeks of vengeance, small-mindedness and vitriol. JJ has been trying to highlight what’s REALLY behind Salmond’s trial. Ditto that poor individual, Assange. He also highlighted the TRUTH of Madeleine McCann, with his consistent research and resultant views.
BUT, most of all, he revealed much truth about RFC (IL), its managers, directors, supporters and all and new sevco 2012.
Point is CS, DO NOT fuck about with TRUTH because the source is not on your Xmas Card list; consider, research and post alternatives, but don’t fuck about with me, or my acceptance/understanding because of your own petty loss. I trust I need go no deeper.
D, COB et cetera.
Vincent TicToc (my real name), but Tick Tock, I watch that clock, the new huns will be dead and smell, like an old sweaty sock. Tick Tock.
The SS Shieldhall,
The best ‘shit-ship’ of all,
Will make one last call,
To accept a cargo from Govan.
It’ll be huns that’re long dead,
And those pretending they’re ahead,
But in hell they’ll tick tock forever.
Out in the Firth of Clyde,
In a mountain of shite,
That “shite” will be doomed,
FOREVER. (or mibbaes even longer as ‘Spike’ M would say)
FC not PLC
HH

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