Timposter reckons there’s a blockbuster movie waiting to be made…here he outlines the plot and asks for further suggestions. If we can put it tigether, the money raised from the movie will be used to buy our club back…
Note…any resemblance to any persons living or dead, or any similarity to events that have happened in the real world in this outline are purely coincidental and entirely in your own imagination….
Now I have setup this production company called “Heated Driveway Productions”, and would like to pitch you a screenplay for a movie.
The movie will have all the elements of a blockbuster.
It will take place on Planet Football in a wee nasty country controlled by the establishment that is full of secret societies but is ultimately answerable to another country.
It will contain Agents, loads of Agents, exotic locations, money, secret organisations with loads of acronyms, S.E.V.C.O., EBT, SFA, SPFL, SMSM, LNS, DOBBERS, AGM.
There will be espionage, secret files, Data, Computers, Guns and weapons.
News, Fake News and a lot more.
Now the main character in the movie will be a Secret Agent, his name, Lawless, Peter Lawless, code name DD7(pronounced double dee seven).
He has a dyslexic sidekick TicTac(He doesn’t do Tactics).
They will both be O.H.M.S.S.(On His Majorshareholders Secret Service).
DD7 is the man with the Golden Gun but he needs silver bullets to fire from the gun.
However he has no access to silver bullets and needs the help of other secret agents.
These agents act under an AGM Resolution(Res12) and are known as the Requisitioners.
They have been tasked to go out and find these silver bullets under a blanket of secrecy(Only one is referred to in person and his code name is OddHeid).
Once they have sourced these bullets DD7 will use them to expose the lies and cheating of the SFA.
However all is not that straightforward. Having spent many years of exhaustive searching and finally sourced the silver bullets(In a file marked “FOR YOUR EYES ONLY”….Cue Sheena singing) and handed them over to DD7 he does not use them.
In fact at the 2019 AGM he refuses to use them, claiming it would be better not to.
Now this caused a right stooshie, where other shareholders called him out as a stranger to the truth and asked if he had seen the 5WA(see even more acronyms) to which he claimed never to have read it.
Now here the plot thickens as subsequently it came to light that DD7 had received an email containing said 5WA. However it was on his AyeMac(Which doesn’t do Windae’s …..but that’s for another Filum) and was it changed to “UNREAD”?
Well without giving the ending away I’ll leave it there and go on to a scene from the screenplay.
Now picture the scene, DD7 is laying spreadeagled, tied down on a metal table. Above him is a powerful laser. Enters the S.E.V.C.O. leader Orangefinger.
“Good evening DD7”.
PL replies “ My name is Peter Lawless” trying to hide his agent status.
However Orangefinger knows all about DD7 and his Duplicity, to the Maximus.
Orangefinger orders his henchmen to switch on the laser. The laser starts to burn through the metal table and move towards DD7’s most prized asset, his wallet.
As he begins to sweat at the prospect of losing it he calls out to Orangefinger,
“Now Mr Orangefinger you’ve had your fun. Do you expect me to talk?”.
“No Mr Lawless” replies Orangefinger. “I expect you to LIE”. To “Live and let LIE”(play the song).
Now when it comes to LIES, “Nobody does it better” than DD7.
The plot thickens. Is DD7 compromised?
Is DD7 a double agent?
Is DD7 complicit?
More you say ?
Well that is being written as we speak.
The full story will be released in the forthcoming blockbuster.
NO TIME TO LIE.
Cue the music
Yesterday, 9:36 AM
What about the wee fat guy in a suit with no neck, wearing a bowler hat, Nojob?
Or was it nonob
For you, lies only, only for you. (shareholders).
Is DD 7 also known as Dr No or Golddigger.Follow up movie my monies not enough. F.C. not P.l.c. sack the board.
allo allo
Verrry interesting
You could get the part of blowjob ^
Monti… Oddjob… excellent
Hey bossthhh it’ssssthhh a plane
Is that wee burnie in the pic?
What a total work of fantastical fiction. Even Terry Pratchett would struggle to com up with something like this. Where on Earth did you get the idea of this plot from Timposter? Oh, wait…..
I take it that Rod Petrie will play the role of
Agent Supernumerary?
auldheid should be jaws cause hees gonny bite them awe in the arse