Celtic Diary Wednesday October 16: All Roads Lead To Rome

They don’t, of course, thats a silly saying, but at least it looks like Celtic fans who are undertaking that particular journey won’t have to worry about going to the game.

UEFA are expected to announce today that only a section of the ground will be closed when Lazio host Celtic, and not the whole ground as some had feared.

At least, thats what this statement, taken from La Republica in Italy, appears to indicate..

“The decision of the Control, Ethics and Disciplinary Body of UEFA in reference to the behaviour of some fans during the game between SS Lazio and Stade Rennais FC constitutes a deeply damaging penalisation that seems not to have taken into account the clear condemnation from the Biancocelesti club against the odious racist behaviour of a few irresponsible people. 

“The sentence also confirms SS Lazio’s firm intention to continue the ‘Zero Tolerance’ policy set by President Claudio Lotito.

“The club, also, reaffirms its intention to pursue in penal and civil courts those responsible for unacceptable behaviour that not only gravely damages Lazio’s image, but also heavily penalise the vast majority of fans who have always been extraneous to and contrary to the racist behaviour of a tiny minority.

“SS Lazio reserve the right to present an appeal against the UEFA decisions to reduce the penalisation that for the most part hits the vast majority of those virtuous and responsible supporters.” 

Claudio Lotito, as you may remember, recently outlined his zero tolerance policy…

‘I remember when I was little, often people who weren’t of colour,who had normal, white skin, made those chants to discourage opponents from scoring in front of the goalkeeper. 

‘They should be treated individually.

‘We have many black players. I don’t think Lazio distinguish skin colour. Lazio’s conduct in this regard is there for all to see.’ 

Racism from football crowds is the number one story this week, with the England national team the latest victims during their match against Bulgaria.

Black players were faced with monkey chants and the game was suspended until they stopped.

There are laws already in place to punish those who indulge in such actions, and as the practicalities of arresting thousands of people render them meaningless, ground closure is the only real option.

However, at least one fledgling club has asked how they are supposed to create an atmosphere at their ground if their support are not allowed to perform their usual songbook…

 Oddsone Edouard had French supporters and Celtic board members in equal measures of delight as he contnued his tremendous form for his under 21 national side.

Another three goals, taking his total to nine on four games, will have turned the heads of most major European clubs, but they perhaps should take note of why he’s doing so well…

“I’m having fun, I’m sticking in goals, and earning playing time. That’s what I need,” 

“At PSG, I did not have the chance to have a lot so obviously I could not show what I was worth. Now that I have a lot more playing time, I take this opportunity to demonstrate my qualities.” 

Hopefully, he’s having enough fun to stick around for a while yet..

For those managers getting their cheque books ready for a post Christmas bid, there’s a special message from Celtic fans…

Image result for fuck off

Mind you, if they do come to Glasgow, the odds are they’ll attend the Glasgow derby at the end of December, which means there’s every possibility they will be blown away by the talents of Alfredo Morelos of “rangers “, and it will be the Colombian who is tempted away by the lure of the dollar…

One of the strangest stories you’ll read this week concerns the collapse of a proposed move back into management for Henrik Larsson.

 The Swedish legend was about to sign up, along with former Celts Johann Mjallby and Tommy Johnson at Southend, but the deal fell through when Johnson took a job elsewhere.

Southend chief Ron Martin said;

“It was critical to the club that we had an individual, as part of that threesome, who was not only well known to Henrik and Johan but completely familiar with the English leagues. Including all the players from not just League One but the Championship and League Two also,” 

“As a consequence of Tommy Johnson withdrawing, all discussions with Henrik Larsson and Johan Mjallby have, unfortunately, come to an end too.

“The club had identified other individuals in the run up to agreeing terms with Henrik and his proposed colleagues.

“Those parties remain on our radar and we will resurrect those discussions with every intention of appointing a permanent manager as soon as practically possible.” 

You don’t want Henrik Larsson and Johann Mjallby because Tommy Johnson won’t come ?

Brian Clough was right, football chairmen know bugger all about the game. Though this one appears to know how to attract attention…

With Larsson and Mjallby looking to get back into the game, and accepting a challenge at a lowly English backwater, there can be little doubt that heads at Aberdeen and Hearts will have been turned…amongst others.

 

Lawrence Shankland.

A man destined to go places, undoubtedly, and the papers are linking him with Celtic, and his boyhood heroes at Ibrox. Though if he goes to Ibrox, he’ll probably have to pay his own fare.

Of course, the club at Ibrox aren’t his boyhood heroes, so in order to ascertain his suitabality for Celtic, simply explain to him that it isn’t.

Then , he can join with a clear conscience.

Whilst Shankland is a promising player, Celtic have their sights set a little higher for their line, and if he does come to Celtic Park, it’ll be as back up.

 

Meantime, let’s introduce a new feature to the Dairy..

Image result for beat the bookies

 

Kevin Clancy, who made an arse-at best-of himself when he took charge of the Hibernian -Celtic game a couple of weeks ago, and he’ll be at Tynecastle for the Hearts-“rangers ” game.

Having failed to spot a couple of penalty awards last time out, he’ll be particularly vigilant this time, and one can expect to see him point to the spot as often as he can.

If only we could be certain who will benefit from his increased level of professionalism.

“rangers ” are 7/1 to win by four or more goals. Given their free scoring ways this season so far, and the advantage of a couple of penalties, thats money in the bank.

Alternatively, just put a few quid on them getting a penalty.

And draw attention to the corruption at the SFA, which may well be coming to an end, given recent developments…

Image result for final nail in the coffin

 

Yesterday, we posted this for your perusal…

 

Image

 

Whitearra October 15, 2019 at 9:25 am · Edit · Reply →

Caption : A young Dave King receives the “Cold Shoulder” at his nursery. 

Oh, that reminds me, anyone with a background in finance, shout out in the replies, I could do with a bit of help with something…

Image result for craig whyte

Alright, anyone else with a background in finance give me a shout…

While you think about that, have a think about this…

 

 

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Does the PARAMOUNT FAMOUS FIVE in the photo refer to the famous five chins paramountly placed on the fat bastard in the background?

You wouldn’t get a cold shoulder with that amount of blubber hanging over it.

Monti

Mick,
I have two chins 🙂

Mike

And Three Nipples. 😉

Monti

🙂

Monti

Caption: ‘ Hun lovin criminals ‘!

Monti, a winner!

Monti

….you’ve seen me on the park then m8?

Would love to have gone into a 50-50 with Charlie Saiz….
Terminated!

sfa unfit for purpose

LMAO
Good to put a face to the moniker lol

TicToc

So Monti’s an Asian?
I just thought he was a big ‘Arab’.
HH

Monti

🙂

Monti

The Aladdin wing of the IRA

The flying carpet column

Caption:Dave King states in order to balance the books the “Rangers ” will either have to sell morelos or empty the double chin of guy on his left of his stash of 50 pence pieces

Mike

Hello, is anyone in? are you there Mr. Maxwell CEO of the SFA? His secretary says, “he’ll be with you shortly once he leaves his hibernation chamber. Like in the film “Aliens” he’s in suspended animation and “Cryogenically Frozen” in time. Just what does he do for Scottish football? apart from organising a referee-manager meeting in Perth? The answer seems to be SFA. Just like his counterpart Doncaster in the SPFL who shares the same room, albeit in a different chamber, they seem to share the same path as Regan and turn a blind eye to one clubs malpractise, doing… Read more »

The Cha

FFS everyone will be ignoring all his messages from now on whilst having mucky thoughts about the messenger.

Mike

It could have been worse, if I had based it on “The Four Musketeers” with Raquel Welch.

Monti

You would be played by John Merrick.

Mike

He he.

Shiltrum

Caption: Dave Dave look as the book says it’s PARAMOUNT that this never sees the light of day. That’s the Master Copy of our FIVE WAY AGREEMENT please take it with you to SA as this Resolution 12 thingy has Goat me worried.

If Odsonne is sold in the January window or at the end of the season, we`re just a Pedro £50-70m p.a. loss making PLC.

charlie

caption big donald sais ralph oan e tims is lookin for sum financial advice dave ……….dave glib and shamelessly sais is he as daft as you tonald

TicToc

Charlie, have you got the DTs wi’ yer “donald” tae “tonald”? Just askin’ like……. 🙂
HH

Ralph, drop me an email with a wee bit of background and I’ll help if I can.

charlie

tic toc if the dts makes ye call a coont called dugless donald a think av got thum

TicToc

Ha, 🙂

Caption:
sevco schizoid embolism FC.

Hmmm,I wonder if any big clubs in England are a bit short of firepower. I can think of one,for starters

Monti

TicToc,
Have you left Ralph any more money ‘ behind the bar ‘ ya fkn prick 😉

TicToc

Monti, is that any of your fuckin’ business, ya fuckin’ prick? 😀 Anyway ask in yer local (when) in Leith and ye’ll no’ see whit ah’ve left for you, ya fuckin’ prick! It’s got a lovely ring to it, that, from wan fuckin’ prick tae anither!
HH

Monti

TicToc,
I’m making it my business…..what you gonnae dae like?
Ya prick 😉

TicToc

Smile….. 🙂

TicToc

Monti, I responded with a typically brilliant retort but some fkn prick’s moderated it. Fuck my old boots, when will this ever end?
HH

at Least they keep us afloat with your bus money

the fat guy with the double chins the one and only he is dougie park ,, one arrogant fat bastard !!!

The Great Goblin.
He wields the Fear no Foe-Hammer!

Whitearra

Caption: ‘I know the fat bastard keeps on farting, but we need his money, so shut the f@@k up!’

Mike

Caption, Larry, Curly and Mo, The three stooges, Whoops too bad folks the bank wins again, Woo Woo Woo aye yay yay yay woooo.

The Cha

Re Finance expert.

Who was the loon who spotted that there was a billion pound “hole” in our accounts?

He’s your man.

PS Corruption at the SFA coming to an end; have you been guzzling the Deludamol?

CAPTION… D Park says:

“I need a new tie. This one is too tight.”

Monti

Vim Jansen been in my thoughts a bit this week, i personally don’t think this man get’s anywhere near enough mention.
Those of us of a certain vintage, Ralph, Mike & Henkesdreadlocks will remember the stress & pressure Celtic were under to stop the 10, our boys led by Wim DID stop it.

So let’s hear it for Wim the Tim!

Thank you Wim Jansen!
HH

TicToc

Hear! Hear! and Hail! Hail tae that, yer spot on; the big Dutchman is owed a great debt of gratitude from all of us. BTW, when you said “Vim” it reminded me of when I used tae drink it wi’ lemonade tae clear out the drain cleaner ah’d drunk the night before when ah used tae be a lavvy attendant. It was that ‘attendance’ tae detail that got me to the dizzy heights ah’m at today and where ah overheard a’ that financial stuff a know about. Funny auld world!! 🙂 HH PS I replied to other comment of yours… Read more »

CarlJungleBhoy

When I had a wee chat – in Dutch – with both Wim Jansen and Henke Larsson when the team arrived for dinner at the Seamill Hydro during the 1997 pre-season (we had a family gathering there) the importance of stopping the forces of darkness winning 10-in-a-row was a message I made sure they got. Not that I’m claiming any credit but they were quite taken aback to suddenly hear some block talking to them in Dutch out of the blue – I also wished them luck at Celtic and told them the fans would back them – so it… Read more »

CarlJungleBhoy

*bloke

sfa unfit for purpose

I’ll give you some credit Carl. Forces of darkness in dutch must have made an impression.

Monti

Did it sound like ” Forsheesh of Darknesh ”
In an annoying arthur numan accshent..sh.?

Monti

Carl,
Many years ago i worked for a bit in Holland, the only words i learned were ” hoeveel voor een huis “

Caption
“here Dougie, what kind of metal is your belt made out of”

Mike A

Caption: Ghengis, Attila and their billionaire boss, Kublai Kant pose for a photograph.

sfa unfit for purpose

The gap between the bottom of the chin and the top of the trousers is getting smaller….

BroxburnBhoy
TicToc

BB, that’s old news now and the only relevance will be what (if anything) happens next. King is one practiced, slippery cunt so I’ve a feeling he’ll slip through the net. However, he’ll just see it as leverage to sqeeze even more out of the mugs he’s been squeezing for years. Good news is he wont go without a pay-off and he’d see the new huns liquidated before walking with nothing. Better if the FT saw the Neil Woodford thingy coming, not to mention the inept FCA, the bastard child of the equally inept FSA, seeing that wee disaster coming.… Read more »

Monti

Caption: DK- “Did someone remember to switch off the shredder machine”?
AD- “Campbell Ogilvie”

TicToc

A wee bit of financial advice alongside a wee bit of aid to the Catalans. I picked up a few bottles of Sangre de Toro (Bull’s Blood) in Asda earlier for about £6. For an easy-drinking red it’s incredible and @ 13.5% ABV a really smooth treat. A real ‘steal’ and you may do a tiny wee bit for the Catalan economy. Everyone’s a winner. HH And a wee PS tae the fukkin’ moderators: I’m into my 2nd ‘donation to Catalonia’ now and when I get fu’ on Bull’s Blood and McEwan’s Champion ale strange things happen……I caution “stand well… Read more »

Monti

TicToc,
You are real scary like…i mean i bet you are proper hard like eh? Ken?

Would you like a Peh?

TicToc

A coo peh, Monti? (Desperate Dan or Aston Martin?) Hmmm….aye, ah’ll have one of each thanks! BTW, you do speak of “Ken” rather a lot, as well as your family. Is Ken a relation or just someone you ‘casually’ meet doon the Leith Walk? Ach well, no’ really ma business! 😉 Roll on Saturday; we’ll take 5 off Ross Co. Without them ‘honest mistakes’ of which we’ve lost about 6 and the new huns gained about 6 and regardless of them too, we’ll get the NINE 9, the new huns will go bust and if not, Lawwell will get away… Read more »

George lazenbhoy

This isn’t a caption but an observation. The guy in the background looks like sick by doo villain once they’ve taken off his mask.

Puggy67

Caption: After battling a Toblerone addiction and driving to Dundee, Alan Partridge makes his worst gaffe ever. Aha,aha,aha,aha,aha. Aha,aha, aha,aha,aha. Aha, aha,aha,aha,aha,aha,aha. Aha, aha,aha,aha.

Bognorbhoy

Caption

Hey Dave ,dougie said if that fat bassa Derek Johnstone gets near the pies before him he’s offski ,money and all

sfa unfit for purpose

Caption

aye we need to move. he’s read the accounts and shat himself , and his missus has just spotted it.

TicToc

Mods, FFS! What is going on with everything being pulled?
Why don’t you all just go and pull yer plonkers and let’s have eTims back. I’m up for self-moderation and I’ll state right now that I don’t give one flying fuck for moderation of ANY other kind.
We’re all big kids on here and we’ve gotten through life okay without you mods up to now, so FFS, eh? Good craic going to waste in reams. Even Monti can raise a laugh now an’ then! FFS.
HH

Monti

🙂

Cartvale88

Caption
Has he seen the legal fees u have racked up?

Una

Caption

Hun lovin criminals

Una..oh deary me…did you not see this caption entry further up the page by your favourite scotsman…and I use the “man” bit advisedly

Monti

🙂

Magdalena’s Chestnut Gelding

Caption

“I did it for the love of the company” said Dave

“Get in ma belly” said Fat Bastard

“Don’t stray off the road…..” said the weird looking cunt Andrew

sfa unfit for purpose

Would sir care for a ‘wafer thin mint’

Monti

“Oh go on then” 🙂

Binkabhoy

Caption: Did someone say etims ‘dairy’? Extra fenian cheese for me please….

The 4 Horses Ass of the apocalypse

🙂

Carljunglebhoy

Caption: Alfredo Morelos has been hung to dry following his Algerian flop, claims Chris Jack (2 and a half)

Iancelt67

Caption
Rangers lynchpin swallows the match ball

Bognorbhoy

Caption
Is he doing his best sloppy g impersonation ?

“eeeeeeeeer right fat lar get yer dosh on a pen Saturday ,eeeeeer fredos gonna go down in the box like the titanic and eeeeeer clancy will be blowing his whistle like a train . Eeeeeeer i think we’re far enough in front now ,so I think they should just give us the trophy sunday,eeeeeeer”

Monti

🙂

Bognorbhoy

Sloppy proof reading by me , slippy 🙁

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