Celtic Diary Friday August 2: Ah! There You Are

With one or two personal issues to deal with, there just hasn’t been time to keep up with the diary over the last week or so, but everything has sort of returned to normal this morning, so let’s get on with it.

During our absence, Celtic pushed into the third round of the UCL qualifiers with a routine 2-0 win in Tallinn over Nomme Kalju, earning the right to face Romanian champions Cluj, who we will talk about in a moment.

Kalju were never going to overcome the five goal deficit needed to progress, so manager Neil Lennon made a few changes and threw down the gauntlet to those who perhaps were feeling a little left out.

There were enthusuastic performances from Craig Gordon, Mikey Johnstone and Bolingoli Boli, and Christophe Jullien made his mark at both ends of the pitch, Tony Ralston did little wrong, but his failure to score a hat trick may confirm in some closed minds that he’s not up to the job.

Indeed Gordon played the ninety minutes whilst in the grip of a bout of severe stomach issues, and deserves praise for , er, keeping a clean sheet…


Special mention , though, to Maryan Shved, who became the first ever Celtic player to do on the pitch what he does in his agents videos, when he smashed the second goal after making a late appearance in the game.

Have a look at Leigh Griffiths face during the celebrations….


Onwards to romania next week, and the Cludgies…I think thats their nickname, they certainly have potty mouths…were lining up to have a pop at Celtic.

Cluj in focus as Celtic’s unseeded Champions League foes ready to rip up the Euro script again

The Hoops will travel to Romania in the next round and Neil Lennon’s side will be tested by the wily Romanians. 

This is from the Record, and presumably their Romanian football correspondent..

Managed by former Chelsea great Dan Petrescu, the Romanians are something of a hit or a miss in European competition. But just ask Manchester United fans what they’re capable of – they embarrassed Sir Alex Ferguson’s Red Devils at Old Trafford in the group stage of this competition 1-0 in 2012. They have twice appeared in the group stage before – in seasons 2010-11 and 2012-13. They also have a pretty decent pedigree in the Europa League.

Cluj lifted their fifth domestic championship last season beating FCSB, formerly Steua Bucharest, by five points in the regular season and two points in the play-off. Petrescu returned to take charge this year having previously led the club to the title two seasons ago.

The Constantin Radulescu Stadium is home to Cluj and can hold up to 23,500 supporters. Again it has a grass surface and underwent a €30million renovation in 2008. 

Cluj are a side that have a lot of experience in their team with a number of older players in their squad. This a team that’s ready to win now.

The vast majority are over the age of 27 and that could go for or against them.

Of the three goalkeepers in the squad, the youngest is 31 while you also have the likes of Andrei Muresan in midfield at 33. 

Well, that’s  saved me the bother of googling them.

But what we really need is an ex-Rangers player who can give us the lowdown.

Gareth Law of the Sun found one..


Ex-Rangers ace Dorin Goian claims Cluj have nothing to fear from Celtic

You’ll remember him. He played in the pre-liquidation season, said he’d never leave as they were liquidated, and then left. his last game was the current clubs first game, the win over Brechin.

Several years later, as manager of Bukovina Radauiti in the Romanian Third division, he offered reassurance to the Cludgies as to the ineffectiveness of Celtic, due to their “long ball game “..

“Celtic isn’t a scary fixture for Cluj. Not at all.

“Cluj are capable of eliminating Celtic. Cluj have great players.

“Celtic might be a team with valuable players, a very big budget and impressive infrastructure. 

“But their game consists of long balls and they have big problems when they face a well-organised defence.

“The counter-attack might be the secret weapon for Cluj. Celtic attack a lot, but they often leave room in defence. 

“The experience Cluj show in each game gives me confidence they can qualify for the groups.

“It will not be easy as they will have very strong opponents. But they have a good chance to qualify.” 

Image result for scared face


Now, you’ve seen the quote, have a look at how the Ibrox Evening times reporter Mark Hendry puts a little bit of spin on it…

Ex-Rangers star Dorin Goian reckons CFR Cluj should be confident of beating Celtic in their Champions League qualifier – as the Hoops rely too much on “long ball tactics”.

Romanian defender Goian, 38, believes Celtic will struggle to break down Cluj’s defence because they find it tough against teams who are well drilled.

He also insists that Dan Petrescu’s team should not be scared of squaring-off against the Scottish champions – because they have players capable of winning. 

The media have, as usual, thrown their weight behind Celtic’s campaign..


Add to that the ongoing transfer saga that is Keiran Tierney, who its fair to say wants to go but hasn’t gone yet for reasons only he knows, there could be grounds for suspecting that the hacks are out to get us.

The Express, in an attempt to finally get something right, said;

Express Sport understands that Unai Emery’s bosses are not giving up yet, and are about to submit a third offer with improved terms surrounding the initial fee.

The offer will include far less add-ons than the previous two proposed deals and included a small sell-on percentage, but if this deal is rejected then the club will give up and pursue other targets.

Tierney, 22, has so far stayed silent on his possible exit, but former England striker Darren Bent is certain that he wants to join Arsenal in the coming days.

“He’s desperate to leave Celtic and join Arsenal in the Premier League, I’m sure of that,” Bent told Football Insider.

 That’s harsh. He isn’t desperate.

Jozo Simunovic could be off to France, which is almost exactly what supporters say to him on several occasions during a game..

Celtic face Jozo Simunovic transfer fight as mega-rich Lille prepare improved bid

The Ligue 1 have already entered talks with Celtic but haven’t been unable to agree a deal. 

Anything around £7m and he’s on a boat to France.

Though I believe Lille would be asked to pay the money straight into Aberdeens account…

Olivier Ntcham had a good game on Tuesday night, and had people wondering if Lennons chat had persuaded him to stay and fight for his place..

Image result for shaking head gif

It seemed obvious that he was merely putting himself in the window, and thats a shame. Nir Biton has now played four games in a row and it must be nearly time for his injury.

The interweb was alive with tales of a return to Celtic for Ollie Burke, who it has to be said had a rather up and down time of it during his loan spell earlier this year.

The player has deleted all the pictures on his instagram that do not feature Celtic or Scotland, and some are taking that as a cryptic message that he’s heading back to Glasgow.

Others, however,  reckon the clumsy oaf was merely trying to order a pizza on his phone and pressed the wrong buttons.

Our troop of trained tittle tatterers reckon we will not sign anyone of note now until after the English window closes, and again after qualification for the group stages is achieved.

We’ve no reason to see it any different.


Tomorrow sees the start of the new domestic season, and the traditional unfurling of the flag. It’s not on television, presumably because later in the season Sky want to have the option to show the title winning game if its at Celtic Park. Only four home games are permitted, usually flag day, title day and  the two against whatever incarnation is playing out of Ibrox.

By skipping this one, they could have one eye on covering the nine in a row game..

The BBC cruelly teased the captains of the eleven other top clubs by making them stand next to something they’ll never get so close to again..


This picture was taken on the day Celtic flew out to Estonia, although Scott Brown has assured our support they can have as many pictures as they want of him with the trophy in May….

Celtic are not quite up to speed yet, but the four wins in Europe have shaken off the cobwebs and should be more than capable of hitting the ground running tomorrow.

Lennon knows the importance of a good start, and with Aberdeen storming to a five goal european win in midweek, there is no room for complacency.

“rangers ” also had a notable result, securing overall victory in Luxembourg against Progres Neidercorn..one paper actually described it as a win on the night..delighting their support..


They’ve had their troubles again during the last week. £450,000 or so due to be paid to Mike Ashley to cover some of his legal fees, Liverpool refusing to sell Ryan Kent to them at market value, and of course, the dark cloud of liquidation swirling above the offices within Ibrox.

You could say they needed cheering up…and there is a man who knows just how to do that..


HMRC win £450m tax avoidance scheme as football stars and celebrities lose out

The scheme had received investments from the likes of Ant and Dec, David Beckham and Celtic duo Neil Lennon and Peter Lawwell.


The case centres on HMRC claims of tax liabilities related to film and game investment schemes promoted by the firm. Rich investors joined the scheme where tax liabilities could be offset against movie industry losses.

Other movies involved included Life of Pi and Die Hard 4, between 2000 and 2013.

Celtic chief Peter Lawwell, manager Neil Lennon and other former Parkhead stars were also members. 

In fact, several Celtic players are listed, and the implication is that this illegal tax wheeze is exactly the same as the EBT scandal, which kickstarted the demise of the original Ibrox club.

Of course, it isn’t, most importantly because none of this was a secret , and none of it was made a condition of employment by the club.

It was what those involved did with their own money, and purely a personal thing.


Still, it’s not like those at Ibrox to miss out on a tax adventure, as the paper implies.

Indeed, they didn’t…



However, there’s a transfer window open, and there’s an Alfredo to push through it. Disheartened at a lack of interest in their Colombian superstar, they’ve decided to generate some themselves..


Rangers ace Alfredo Morelos ‘turns down £30m move’ to Chinese side Hebei Fortune

Sky Sports claim the 23-year-old has turned down a multi-million pound move to Hebei Fortune.

Any move to the Far East looks highly unlikely however, not least with the transfer window in China closing at 5pm today.

Sky said: “Sky Sports News understands Rangers FC striker Alfredo Morelos has turned down a £30M move to Chinese Super League club Hebei Fortune – the Chinese transfer windows closes at 5PM today.

“SSN understands Hebei Fortune were prepared to meet the valuation of Morelos, believed to be in excess of £15M, but no bid was received by Rangers.

However, someone must have pointed out that they’d already tried this one, and a rather bizarre explanation followed…




Oddly enough, they aren’t going to make a complaint that one of their contracted players was tapped up by another club…


Elsewhere, and this doesn;t seem to have hit the back pages as much as you’d have thought, but you’ll see why in the story…



Meanwhile, there may yet be hope for the hopeless, faith for the faithless though clearly not sense for the senseless




Think he’s a little behind the curve on this one, if I may say so.


Anyway, back to last Thursday


Munichbhoy July 25, 2019 at 1:32 pm · Edit · Reply →

Caption: Naw honest, am no hiding anything under ma jaiket. 

Today.. this originally appeared on AngryScotland Podcast’s Twitter feed, with the line

Get back in your motor and fuck off “


but we can do better, right ?


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D'Fhinnein Mick


Good to see you back,hope all is well at Ralph Towers. I’m not going to offer a caption as the amount of swearies would see me banned. Hoop hoop hooray,say ye all…

Can I beg your indulgence with this,please? The last in my series of ten articles explaining how we should already have TEN IN A ROW under our belts.

It’s The Centenary Season.




Listen tae them Boris av no heard booing like that since st Johnstone were beating slippys gers 1 nil at half time….


Bye the bye ..welcome back


Look Boris ma team, the Rainjurzzz is in dainjur of going bust yet again, jist get oot there and sort oot that Mike Ashley. Time is running oot. Brexit can wait.


Good to see you back Ralph, i thought you were locked in someone’s attic, forced to read Commando books & watch old episodes of Crossroads.


Miss Diane 🙂


Where’s TicToc?
Must be streaming Mastermind….

Doo doo doo doo……doo doo 🙂


Ah replied Monti, but…..everything’s in moderation…again. Ggggrrrrrrrr!

Ralph, welcome back, but please note yer “yappyest dug” bottled its High Noon confrontation with me in “Trenchcoat Gardens”. Anyway, I’ve been busy designing a Dogapult. Similar to a catapult with the obvious difference. It’s even bigger and even stronger. Hmmm!
So, if yer “yappyest” dug has been the cause of your absence, I’ll send you a video of the Dogapult in action and I’d recommend showing him/her the vid, but no more than twice a day as it has a nasty end (but only if yer a dug, IMHO) 🙂


ralph calls it personal issues maist other people call it remand


Caption : Touch my arse again and you’re dead meat…



If you say another word about slipping out my back doors ,I’ll take ma Hon off yer face ya manky get ye


Can u no get Arse nal to put in a bid for the Buffalo?

The neurosis continues, the mighty Rangers gubbed that mob from Luxembourg, the sheepies and Celtic scrambled through to the next round.
Stevi G in meltdown as perceived bias towards Sevco.
Probable bid from China would be a fortune cookie, but they live in a parallel universe.

Glad to see u have recovered Ralphie, great fear that Charlie Saiz and Monti were about to take over


caption wee nic sais some people say yer aff yer trolley am jeest gonty get the tea in you can push ma trolley

Listen to me my only son.

Fra Stone

Caption ‘I’ll slap ye with the back of my hand ya wee Bollix ye’

fáilte arís a chara 🙂


“The pitch was sticky, the ball was like a balloon, they were constantly fouling, the ref. was rubbish, the dressing room was 155 degrees”. But if that was Progres, because miss Diane, yes, go on.. They were shite. But onwards to Waltermittyland…

Patrick Street

Ahm no gettin intake the back seat of that motor wae the likes of you.


caption wee nic sais yoov heard ae the irish backstop noo feel the scottish backhander in the pus

The Bahia Emerald

So VI is a number? Ah kent you would’ve spoken Latin at school.

No No No the caption should be for the transgender stealing his wife`s car keys for the game.

Sammy shows his wings of nighthawk.

sevco when i call you Betty FC.


He`s a strong man but I know he`s not for me.



BJ thinking; Who allowed the Wee Jimmy Crankie impersonator through the gates?


Boris: Blah Blah the Union blah reference to something only taught to posh private-schooled English boys blah blah what-what?


Tuk-tuk tae Hong kong Johnson?

British Navy,bring a pump.


Caption: ” We’re not British, we’re not Saxon, We’re not English, we are Scottish & proud we are to be, so fk your union jack, get out & leave us Scots to be “

How can you insure an athlete,Pedro?

Would they get past me?

Hitch a lift.


“Elsewhere, and this doesn’t seem to have hit the back pages as much as you’d have thought, but you’ll see why in the story…”

Or maybe it’s more to do with the fact that it’s a 14 year old headline.

“Gers yob called him a Fenian b*****d .. then it got nasty by Simon Houston, Sunday Mirror, Feb 20, 2005”

The sun sets in East Timor you tit.


I Ralph hopefully all resolved, welcome back. Bit of nonsense from some quarters about us being worse off than last year, simply doesn’t add up. This time last year there was rumours about the manager going to China, at least Lenny and the CEO like each other, so that’s an improvement, Dembele and Boyata were about to leave, just how well was that handled, fair enough eventually Boyata settled down, we have El Hamed, Julien, and Boli in. I know Boli isn’t better than a fully fit KT, then again when did we have a fully fit KT? Griffiths and… Read more »


Caption: Is that a letterbox in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

Caption: “I wasnae sure how many fingers to greet ya with so here’s the full set …”

The Cha

“Tony Ralston did little wrong”

Seriously? He looked completely shot of confidence and was poor.

I don’t know where he goes from here. At the moment he can only expect a chance in these lower key games and if he doesn’t take it like on Tuesday, there’s little hope for him at Celtic.

“Keiran Tierney, who its fair to say wants to go”

Not this shit again, no one, not KT himself, Lennon or anyone else has said he wants to go, so why peddle this rubbish, that we rightly decry from Sky, Record etc?


Agree absolutely about Ralston. Looked poor against a very poor side. The kid isn’t good enough and that’s just a fact.

BJF Good post and spot on. Look at last year: Dembele away, Brendan away, Christie (our key player) injured, Tierney injured, Griffiths out for months, Rogic injured, Boyata unsettled, Bayo injured…Newco blew a big chance to overtake us yet couldn’t do it. We are already settled and much better…
Welcome back Ralph. We missed you.
Tomorrow: 3-4-1-2
Ajer/Julienne/Boli (Simu suspended?)
subs to feature: Ntcham/Hayes/Sinclair/Henderson/El Hamed/Shved
Bhoys to win 2-0


Julienne is also suspended. Likely to be a 4231.

Wee Mac/Broony

Subs: Morgan/Griff/Elhat


Must say I like the sound of that line-up Uralius.
Probably best we can muster in defence if KT is still not ready. Then Calmac and Broonie orchestrating with JF/RC/MJ in attack with Eddie. Yeah, seems excellent but I’d play Leigh from the off with Eddie OTB.
As I mentioned about the Kaljia game, we should put down a marker and take no prisoners; go for the jugular and let The Celtic Supporters Sing.

Celtic are Lurgan.

If no,know.


Adjust,they`re flying off the useless right shoulder.

For all to see.Don`t miss the left hen.Raiders delight,been a while.


Nice to see you back Ralph, but it’s bad form to quote other people’s tweets without acknowledging them.

Who`ld you rather meet from those that think they wear a pair of boots or those that are compliant?

Blow the whistle.

Have we a happy keeper?


Caption: Shirley-Ann, talc this han.
I’m pimp slapping this con-man.

Steve Naive

Hello diary my old friend…
Was getting sick of that woman jumping up and down.
As pointed out on other forums ( well you were indisposed) was Doncaster spiteful or amateurish or both regarding the captains picture ? Only diedco’’s wearing his armband… oh dear.

Steve Naive

You also have two KOTW to catch up on… I nominate the manager of the theatre where the undead hordes were singing sectarian songs… “Could you please stop it because it doesn’t comply with the terms of our license “ … !!! Oh dear oh dear.


Caption: “Ten Downing Street after Brexit”


I`m not the most,Lola.


While it normally takes a lot for me to give one of our players a hard time. Ralston deserves some flack he easily missed 5-7 tackles, gave the ball away far too much and his crossing was laughable. While his positioning was decent his anticipation was not and I think his level is likely to be Scottish Championship until he is about 26 at which time he will be good enough for a mid – table SFPL team. Let’s hope he proves me wrong with his next chance, if one is forthcoming.


Ralstons young can’t see a big future for the kid but at least he has physicality one of the things needed to make it . I think the boy has cifti type carthorse qualities another Adam Virgo if you like. Bit of a poor mans Roy aitken maybe the boy would’ve been a star in the 70s he’s a big unit probably yy chromosome maybe he should take up ufc and take Oliver Burke with him being naturally athletic doesn’t get you in the first team the same as being slight with extreme talent doesn’t unless you’re George best

Piece of piss for dancing in the moonlight.on a seagulll.


Burke’s coming back?
Has the boy in the Hoops suit been sacked?


Hoopy suit … ffs.


Hoopy is alive and well and not in the doghouse. .

sfa unfit for purpose


sfa unfit for purpose

Glad to have you all back. Why is Lennon constantly talking about KT. Its obviously coming from the board. If asked surely the ONLY answer is he’s a valueable member of the squad on a long term deal and until somethings changes that’s all folks My thinking is Deal is signed and sealed with both teams agreeing to release the news in last hour of the English window More sneaky pish from Lawell. And now that Brenda has got rid of maguire I would not be surprised at the same type of deal for Calmac. I know i’m a cynical… Read more »

Dreamer in the North Stand

I’m Married ya psycho


Shved is suspended, do keep up, Benny!

You mad about ETims or just plain mad? Why not buy the t-shirt at http://etims.spreadshirt.co.uk/