Celtic Diary Friday February 1: Transfer Window Pains

So, thats that for another few months, Celtic will have to make do and mend with what we have as the push for a treble treble and European glory continues throughout the winter and on into spring.


Its a little bit nippy out there just now, demonstrated by reporters chucking boiling water into the air and watching it go cold as soon as it is out of the container. Not sure thats a big deal, as anyone who has ever visited a MacDonalds drive through will attest.

Celtic will play in Perth at the weekend, and its worth noting that the temperature there just now is -6 degrees centigrade. Local radio is reporting that a man has had to have some of his extremities removed due to frostbite, losing both ears, the tip of his nose and a couple of fingers. Fortunately, one part of his body was embedded in a sheep so it was nice and warm.


So, are we happy with our lot after the deals have been done ?

We got a right back, who also doubles as a left back in Jeremy Toljan. He’s on loan until the summer, with no formal option to buy, but we’re assured that a permanent move is not off the table. Though there was no note of an acquisition of a table.

We got a striker, in Vakoun Bayo, who will probably not be allowed to register for European games as only three players can be added to the squad, which will be Toljan, Weah and Burke.

Weah and Burke arrived early in the window and have already hit the ground running.

Forward planning has been taken to the extreme with the arrival of Maryan Shved, who does look the part, and he’s gone back to Karpaty Lvov until the summer when he will come back to replace Weah. Or Burke. Or even both.

The two Americans, Perez and Guteman were formally announced, along with a new deal for Scott Brown. who will now be the man to lift the tenth title when history is restored to its natural order.

So, mustn’t grumble ?

Well, no…but.

There’s always a but.

Its not so much about the bringing in of players, we seem to have done well there.

Its the nagging feeling at the back of my mind that we’ve done this window to secure domestic success this season.

Thats all well and good, and perhaps time will tell us that was the correct thing to do.

The Scott McKenna saga remains a mystery. This one was all but done and would have strengthened the back line with a view to potential champions League qualifiers. What went wrong ?

The arrival of Jeremy Toljan, initially it seems on loan is apparently to cover or replace Mikael Lustig, and yet we discover that he has played mostly as a left back.

Thats excellent in one sense, as it adds to the quality and depth, yet also raises further concerns about the seriousness of the injury to Keiran Tierney.

Then we learn that Dedryck Boyata is going to miss the Valencia games, his abductor still refusing to negotiate with police over a possible ransom demand, prompting specualtion that the Belgian is averse to playing in crucial games in case he makes one of his trademark costly mistakes.

Does he lack courage ? Or is he just sulking again ?

Of course, he could be genuinely injured. But that doubt won’t go away.

Timothy Castagne ? that one will have to wait for the summer, along with, it seems . Scott McKenna.


Without Benkovic and Boyata, Celtic are down to Simunovic, another whose attitude is questionable, and the over enthusoastic ajer as defenders, although there is still Nir Biton, who may see himself starting on Sunday at the back, and Jack Hendry , who could still go out on loan, but its unlikely.

Lewis Morgan has gone out on loan, incidentally, to Sunderland. If i was him i’d knuckle down, get some weight lifting done and try to get a deal down there.

Also on loan is Yousseff Mulumbu, who will save a fortune on phone calls now he can speak directly to Kris Boyd, which is actually part of the plan.

He’ll fill Boyd with tales of tantrums and tiaras at Celtic, which will be repeated on sky, and then disproved by Celtic, leading to an end to Boyds dismal media career.

Of all the deals mentioned above, the one that is causing the most weeping amongst the support of “rangers “, who trumped everyone by spending about fifty grand a week on comedy music hall veterans Davis and Defoe, is the Mulumbu loan..

It seems to have escaped his attention that no one wants to borrow any of their players, and no one wants to buy them.

The net financial loss over the window will have serious repercussions for the latest Ibrox entity, and my guess is that if Kilmarnock beat them in the Cup, they’ll be sent spinning to join their ancestors in the family plot.

And yet none of it was their fault..

They couldn’t afford those players even with EBTs, and thats why they went into liquidation.

Of course, no one is asking if they can afford the players they currently have, and so history will repeat itself.

Its just a question of when.

Another supporter was more direct..

Or , as he really means, they shouldn’t be allowed to play against “rangers “.

Their fear of facing a Celtic squad player in a cup game which could finish their season is one of my favourite moments of the whole saga, 2012-2019

Image result for snoopy dancing gif


Whilst we may feel that the club hasn’t done enough in the window to make sure of a treble treble, the abive excerpts are a clear indication that thise who think they are our nearest rivals are clear that their own club hasn’t done enough to make a serious attempt to stop it, despite a late rally to hold on to their most valuable assets..


They do have a new youth policy, however, which may not bear fruits in time.

This is a list of the Ayrshire Refereeing Associations new blood, and yet again we see a remarkable lack of a certain diaspora.

Calum Scott

Calum Haswell

Ross Haswell

Drew Kirkland

Colin McAlpine

David Burns

David Ingram

Ross Menzies

Andrew McWilliam

Ally Morrison 

Cat 1 refs used by SFA from the ayrshire branch

John McKendrick

Greg Aitken

Steven Kirkland.  

The attention focused on the Lanrkshire Association by Paul Larkin in his Anyone But Celtic trilogy and film, where they interbreed referees, has forced the SFA into a change. Sort of.

They’ve changed the lair of the beast, and hoped no one will notice.

Greg Aitken, one of the names on the category A list , was mentioned on a “rangers ” website..

Its not the first time he’s caught the eye..

Presumably the reason behind the SFA’s decision not to have referees declare any allegiance to any club-or company-is that we all know who they all support anyway.

The SFA will do their utmost to help their buddies win the Cup, or at the very least to stop Celtic from winning it.

Every single indiscretion, or honest mistake must be called out as and when it happens.

Image result for robert de niro watching you gif


It’s Friday, and of course that means its time for

Knob of The Week

We turn once again to the media..

And its not Keith Jackson this time, despite his unerring foresight a few weeks ago..


No. Its this fucking idiot.

Image result for charlie nicholas

Pictured here with a badge to remind him what toilet to use, Charlie Nicholas, once a hero to many Celts, has finally been removed from the Great Celtic Players list in many of our minds.

For this, among many other witless warblings

“There is uncertainty over team selection and you don’t know who is coming or going.

“It appears Brendan has very little influence on the deals. He looks to be accepting what is being put to him.

“Is he camouflaging the fact that he won’t be at Celtic this summer?

“Why spend £9m on a striker when Odsonne Edouard is worth nowhere near that and then go half-hearted on anything else? 

That attitude could cost them the title.”

 “Let’s be brutally honest, Brendan is not here for the long-term.

“He is here to rebuild his reputation and more than a few club owners, including Leicester City, will be thinking they wouldn’t mind getting their hands on him now.” 

You know, when I was a teenager, I tried to be Charlie Nicholas, his “gallus ” style and goalscoring exploits when he broke into the team made him a hero to many of us.


These days, its far , far easier to emulate him.

Here’s comedian David Mitchell with an instruction video in how to do a Charlie Nicholas impression.

Image result for david mitchell wanker gif

charlie nicholas, not even deserving now of capital letters, once a hero now a big fat fucking zero..you are this weeks Etims

Knob of The Week

Image result for charlie nicholas


On now to our ever popular caption competition..


Lennon CSC tarrier carrier pilot Chrisbhoy recalls the incident, at Killington Lake services on the M6…

ChrisBhoy January 31, 2019 at 11:40 am · Edit · Reply →

Caption VooDude and Thommo stop for their 5th piss break on the way back from the game 

I took the photo, which is why I’m not in it. I remember it well, we were going to a wedding reception afterwards and had put extra effort into our appearance.






newest oldest most voted
Notify of
D'Fhinnein Mick


The Grand Final of the competition to to catch Wonder Woman in the buff.

Lathers for Justice

Jazzy K



Wouldn’t surprise me or Puggy……somebody is giving Ralph a hand…cough.

Caption: breaking with tradition, Sevco have chosen not to have a Help For Heroes Day this year. Instead, they have opted to lend their support to Fathers For Justice Day, and in return, Castle Greyskull will get a spruce up.

Mike A

Caption, Window Cleaners dressed as super heroes bring joy to children’s hospital.
To good a pic to mock.


HAHAHA Had a wee bet that Chrisbhoy would win the caption comment, Yaay made another tenner…
BTW I am celebrating that Leeeeaann and putrid never got Scott Allan, I hear that putrid is fuming Yaaaay.




Monti out…….and give us all piece! Cue the obligatory wife joke


Not at all, good day to you sir!


We’ll done Lawwell we needed loans in this transfer window given the we documented problems in getting quality in January. Squad strengthen at the right time, Boyata for player of the season. Hope we can do the fresh business in the summer , here we go 8 in a row.


Nurse Ratched….oh Nurse Ratched?




Caption, Now we go cleanin windows,
Me and my pal Rob,
To help the scouts we go,
To earn from Bob-a-job…




Noel Skytrot

Mad JJ gave Ralph the thumbs up but slaughtered Phil and Laytonbhoy. I know it’s bonkers in Glasgow when it comes to the oul football but who believes he’s had Osman warnings over his blogs?


If correct, I’m now concerned for JJ’s health!

C S. You must wear out keyboards at an alarming rate 😉

The Cha

He certainly would be a candidate for repetitive strain injury.


He certainly has an exquisite technique of the wrist……


CS agree Castagne would be essential to follow up but despite trying to wind up ( successfully) Monti above I do like ourcacquisitions and I do think the January window is problematic. Weah will be a breath of fresh air but not a player for a Scottish league long term, Burke would be but earns too much elsewhere. The tactic of getting the guy a couple of years before he gets his big move pays for us. Mulumbu to Killie, priceless. Brendan has strength in numbers for the final push, Hendry deserves a chance but maybe after a proper loan… Read more »




Caption: Another comic book window at Celtic Park


Caption: Spider-Man pull that rope an’ see if that lazy bastard Invisible-Man’s on a fag break again.



Is it a bird? No! Is it a plane? No! It’s Super Sham!


Spot on CS



Southside Bhoy

3 Catholic referee applicants and a Lodge Member are put through their paces to secure the last open place in the Lanarkshire Referees Association

I’m happy with the transfer window. Timo Weah is lightning off the bench, Bayo is the target man we have needed since Mousa was sold, Oli is a good all rounder who softens up a defence, Taljan is potentially going to be a good addition too, he creates competition for Lustig and Emilio and is fast as fuck, these players are added to a double treble winning squad. It’s going to be 8 in a row. If opposition teams play a low block we have the answers, if they play a pressing game we have the speed and technique to… Read more »



Board plant!


“He’s fast as fuck” so is the Roadrunner but he always get’s fucked beep beep!

Is that no a bit like when the Huns claimed Albertz could kick the ball hard?

Hun dogs across the nation subsequently named ‘ Hammer ‘ 🙂

is the Roadrunner but he always get’s fucked

You do know what one in the cartoon is the roadrunner, don’t you?

Clue..Its the one who doesn’t have an ACME account.


FFS. Boys own pish…


Very Wile E. Coyote of you..

The Cha

Caption “I would’ve preferred George Formby”


” when i’m cleaning windows “?


Charlie Saiz: good summary, man. We’ve plugged the gaps for now but Central Defence is still an area of concern. 3 at the back is the answer. Let’s get on with it. The Valencia tie will tell us a lot about where we are.
CD options:
with Bitton as sub
at St. Johnstone

George Lazenbhoy

Caption: the avengers prepare for when they’ll be jumping out their windies when we score


The transfer window is closed so there’s no point in bleating about fucking anything now.
However……however…..personally i feel slightly confused about the whole fucking thing.

I have absolutely fucking no idea what the fuck it is we are trying to fucking do.

Nice lights tho….cough.


So Ralph to answer your question, No i’m fucking not amused with the window.

It was pish!

sevco start hiring out their own
No Justice League

Noel Skytrot

Don’t worry Monti, its all under hand. We’ll not be scraping about for signings in the next window. Good for the domestic stuff but nothing else. We can’t compete with the five big leagues in terms of finances but come on lets see some ambitious signings.


Good window as we appear to be planning for the future CS summed it up well, Monti out


Are you not a fan m8? 🙂


WTF. Rogic out now for six weeks, he joins Benko, K.T. Ntcham, Ralston Boyata (disny count) Kouassi, Arzani etc. etc. They took Rogic down to get his hand checked out, he tripped up over a nurse and did in his knee, no confession or praying for him. So Gordon goes to centre-half Bain to outside right, (but can he take corners)? Celtic Emergency Ward 10. The Hospital club, bring us your teeth and get new geggies, crowd fund hair transplants and receive a new kidney while you wait. Bombard your baws with U.V. lights specially adapted from the disco section… Read more »


Can someone please enlighten me, who was it that signed the much envied Morelos? Which club paid upwards of £20 mill. buttons for that talented player. “Who was it, Who was it, Who was it” every day his value seemed to soar, with tales of BIG fitba. clubs tripping over themselves to purchase him. “who was it, who was it, who was it” or could it all be tales of goblins and faeries, made up by cough talented journos, who were on a hefty bonus to get him selt. By the by they spent a fortune (for them) to bring… Read more »


With all our injuries and refs turning a blind eye to kicking us off the park what a special season this will be when we get 8 in a row and back to back to back trebles. Our children grandchildren and great grandchildren are blessed to be Celtic supporters especially at this special time in.our clubs history. My own son had to endure the cheating years and a 9 in a row stole not won Watching us lose to Raith Rovers Falkirk Airdrie etc and telling him it will be ok one day it will be ok.We as a family… Read more »


Caption: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Naw it’s Leanne Dempster having a square-go with Neil Lennon.


Jimmybee, spot on. My son too grew up in the dark ages but I never imagined things would get SO better although I too kept telling him they would. They have. Walking in a Celtic wonderland. We can still make more history. I’m 69 Jimmybee so am savouring each day.
C’mon our Bhoys. COYBIG.
Thank you Brendan and the Bhoys. Welcome all new signings.
Peace and Good Health to all on this site.


God Bless you and yours Devoy always a pleasure to read your posts m8 . We have seen it all m8 the heart gets stronger as we get older .


Caption: look son super heroes oot the windae.
Aye da but they’re no as good as the Lisbon Lions da are they. No son they’re no. God Bless ya.


Got to say what a brilliant caption pic that is and fair play to those guys for brightening up.a child’s day in hospital.


Something funny going on with Tom Rogic.
I told you before xmas the oz coach reported he had a knee injury,then he joins the oz team playst two games aand would have been picked if he wasnt suspended.
whats going on with Ajer,all the talk about the defence and he is hardly mentioned,the daily rancid analysed the defence partnerships and he came out on top
we dont ship goals when he,s ON the park.
check it out.


FFS we have deadlier strains than the Sufferin’ General and more loans than Cashconverters fec Dubai get that lot to Lourdes.

SFA unfit for purpose

fuck off, about 300 words Gone…….

SFA unfit for purpose

missus is saying ‘ get off that shite and into the real world and walk the dog , …..
Yeah yeah , just finishin…..and its gone.


Really disappointing about Rigic, he hasn’t played for 2 weeks and is now injured not sure how that happened but he will be missed. Does it mean all the new guys even Bayo can be registered for Balencia? Can confirm 40 million( stars ) bid for Morelos by the planet Uranus!


Rogic even!


Does anyone else on this website think we need to do something very different in Perth on Sunday? Tommy Wright is canny and won’t want a repeat of the 6-0 thrashing or even the recent 2-0. Could we get Edouard, Weah and Burke on the park at once, with Forrest, Christie and McGregor? I now think we have all the notes: we just to make sure we play them in the right order. What is the right order? Otherwise, I could see us struggling in the wind and cold and Tommy Wright trying to sneak a goal or two on… Read more »

Magdalena’s Chestnut Geldings Saddle Strap


“Which one of you cunts nicked my sponge?” exclaimed Captain America!
“Wisnae me, I’m trying to do a Jobby!” said Batman
“I’m taking a photae of a naked burd” said Superman
“You should see the size of this guys boaby in here!” said Spider-Man
Alas Captain America never did solve the mystery of his missing sponge!

“Local radio is reporting that a man has had to have some of his extremities removed due to frostbite, losing both ears, the tip of his nose and a couple of fingers. Fortunately, one part of his body was embedded in a sheep so it was nice and warm.”

Eee! That Mike. Whit’s ‘ae like? An aspiring bard whae likes to warm his tackle afore getting started.

Hope your bits are warmer than mine have been the last few months. But then, I don’t have a woolly blanket, just cauld hauns and heartless.



He’s behind yoo, where, there, a little house with clothes on, oh matron I declare a chocolate éclair, yum! Germany calling, Haw Haw. America, America, the far mangled spanner, or the glorious spirit of the Ukraine, shines on in Shved. They arrive from all over the World-tonight, that’s right, straining, to continue our glorious journey to number ten. But the core of Celtic players are home-landers, the crème dela crème, the spirit of the team. Norwegian, Aussie bhoys from the land down under, hear the thunder of Tom Rogic. All helping to ensure success for the supporters. Fitba. that Universal… Read more »


But first a croissant surely, on jam, with the delectable edge of cream and Italian coffee. MMmm
0… 😉 <3


Caption: The Celtic transfer window….total chamois.


Players come to Celtic for many different reasons, a big club with great supporters who sing out passionately backing the team. A big stadium, history, historical games, its recognised as a big club playing in a small league. They come to win medals, they come because of the supporters backing, to play games. But they come because of Brendan Rodgers, they know his reputation is second to none as a development manager. They know that we have first class facilities a great background staff, with a great medical team, that will look after them if they get injured. Celtic’s reputation… Read more »


They also come for a juicy contract.


Some do but not all, some come for game time, others to experience the atmosphere, others to win medals, but all come knowing the managers reputation….


I am concerned for Neil Lennon’s health. I do not think that Lenny is suited to football management. He was a brilliant player and his time in management was successful. He is passionate and his passion drives him on to do extraordinary things. But at what cost? passionate people risk their health, especially in football circumstances. I don’t want Lenny to become a victim of bad health, his blood pressure looks like it goes of the Richter scale and could give him serious health problems. So Lenny take yourself away from being a football manager, an assistants job perhaps, we… Read more »


Neil has done relatively well as a manager, i love the man but didn’t want him to get the Celtic job & wouldn’t want him to get it again in the future.
Not because he’s a poor manager but because the shit this guy faces from the fuckwits, bigots & racists in this country, he & his family do not deserve the stuff he has received.
I’d be happy to see him manage in England where he can relax & concentrate on the game.



Neil puts himself in danger, I admire him hugely for his bravery, but I am really concerned for his health. I am concerned about his B.P. leading to a stroke. I would hate to see his passion making him ill. So, the safest thing for Neil to do, is to remove himself from the danger of ill-health. We all care for the man and we want him to be safe and healthy….

Monti & Mike… Totally Agreed

The Cha

Monti, Mike & Weered… Totally disagree Lenny reacts like a lot of passionate and successful managers and it’s only a bigoted media that makes this out to be a problem. He also comes over as an intelligent and shrewd guy and I would expect him to be aware of and take evasive action on any danger signs. He’s certainly done that regarding his mental health and would no doubt do the same over his physical one. He’s been involved in football for about 30 years and I expect after recharging his batteries, he’ll be back ready to go again… …just… Read more »


Nout new there is their Cha. You are just argumentative, if I say black, you say… (fill spece)
What you say about Neil, all of it is correct, but his health is a worry for me. You only get one chance at life and I don’t wish to see his health suffer. His wee red bawfaced pus, is always crimson, B.P. is a killer. For me, he is very talented at football, but I would like to see him as a number two, for health reasons alone… 😉 <0


Can’t believe it, Mike ( no probs) Monti(!!!) spot on.


My take on the Transfer window: Toljan – right back/left back. I know nothing about him so a quick look on the German site transfermakt shows he is one of six right backs BVB have but hasn’t started a game at right back since 2017 and has only played once for the reserves this season. Doesn’t fill me with confidence though I hope he does well. This move seems to have appeased the ‘we need a new RB crowd’ even though we have loaned a guy that’s played less than Compper to replace two WC quarter finalist. Gutman – Difficult… Read more »


V good summary of the players coming in but can’t agree with the comments on Lawwell. Celtic should be here for the fans, not the shareholders. Success on the field is what should be lauded, not success on the balance sheet. Fine lines I know but we should be looking for greater ambition.


Luigi “Lou Macari” Born in Edinburgh in 1949, spotted by the scouts at Celtic playing for Ayrshire county, he signed schoolbhoy “S” forms at 16 years old. A member of the HUGELY talented Quality Street Gang, joining perhaps the best ever Celtic development squad, no need to repeat the huge legends of that select band of quality Celtic players, fuck it, its ma post and I’ll cry if a want to. Davy Hay, George Connolly, Daniel Fergus McGrain and big erchie Kenny D. Paul Wilson et-all. Later he left Celtic (Lou) and went down to Manure, where he would win… Read more »


My wee girl is going to have some sense of humour,
Unfortunate guy at the shops this morning, an amputee, he only had one leg…
Wee girl turns to me & said ” Dad, i can balance on one leg too ”

For fuck sake 🙂

Monti.. a pretty flamingo then

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